Lindsay Versus Dina - The Lohan Shitshow Continues...

Do these assholes not know how to act like some common sense having human beings or what?  I mean really!

About a month or so after Dina showed up wasted on Dr. Phil to slur her way through an "interview" she's making headlines again - she's in trouble for domestic violence after gettin' into it with her mini-me daughter after a night at 'da club.

The two idiots were at The Electric Room (the club in the Dream Hotel which just happens to be where Lindsay was last accused of hitting someone with her car) and when they were leaving (at 4 fucking am mind you) the two lovely ladies began arguing about where the limo driver should take them.

Lilo wanted to go to her NY hotel and Dina wanted the limo to take her old busted ass home to Long Island so she wouldn't have to take a cab lol.

Evidently, that's when the shit hit the crazy bitch fan and Lindsay ended up calling daddy Lohan who in turn called the popo.  According to a source Lindsay was apparently yelling, "I've had enough of this!"

Ugh!  I think we've all had enough of this...

According to The New York Daily News the two were also fighting over an unpaid $40K loan Linds gave Dina because Lindsay makes really good decisions about her finances.  *rolling eyes*  

Lindsay had scratches on her leg and a broken bracelet that may or may not have been stolen.  A domestic incident report was taken but no Lohan's were arrested - the case has already been "closed out."

Domestic violence is no joke but I'm sorry!  Getting shitfaced at a club with your kid (I know she's not a kid but she's Dina's kid) until 4 am and then getting into a brawl with her because you don't want to cab it is cray!  Cray!!!  

(Props for not drunk driving though again, ladies!  Good job!)

UPDATE:  Here's the call between Lindsay and Michael.  Yikes!

Lindsay Lohan -- 'Dad, [Mom's] On Cocaine!' Full - Watch More Celebrity Videos or Subscribe

Image Via www.instinctmagazine.com

Kate Major got Knocked Up by Michael Lohan...

Yeah, I know this shit is kind of old news, but I'm a reaaaal lazy bitch sometimes and the first thing to fall to the wayside is my beloved trashy blog...generally I just start posting new stuff but this little ditty deserves a few cracks...

Lindsay Lohan's idiot father Michael went and knocked up Kate Major - for those who don't know about these two and their antics check it out > Here.  And here.  Oh, and here.

Yes, it's been a real rollercoaster of court dates, blow jobs and balcony jumping for these two and just when I thought it may be over...that bitch got preggers!  While there was a no-contact order!!!

Illegal baby!!!!!!!

The two morons seem over the moon about it (until the next altercation anyways) - the only one who seems to be in a stink is LiLo.  Reportedly, she thinks that if he can't pay child support for his kids now, he shouldn't have another one.

That's the smartest thing I've ever heard her allegedly say.

Good luck, kiddo!  You're gonna need it.

Image Via www.tmz.com

Whaaa? Lindsay Lohan Paid to Get it On with That Skydiving Porn Star???

Jesus Christ!  Never ends...

Here's wassup > There's this porn star named Alex Torres AKA Voodoo, he's all famous because he was featured all ova the internets in a serious skydiving screwfest a while back.

It was on CNN, people!

Then we have Lindsay Lohan, she used to be a wicked good actress but has now been relegated to being a tabloid fixture and general fuck up.

Well...Voodoo called in to Toronto's Jim Richards Show (shout out Canada!!!) and said he banged Linds (for money no less) one night when her trainwreck daddy was sleeping one off upstairs.

TRANSCRIPT!!!

Transcript Via www.dlisted.com

 
 See???  He's "saying that."

And stupid Michael Lohan!  The hell was he even doing there with porn stars and his daughter?

I'm not about to believe a porn star (not that there's anything wrong with that) who just says some crazy shit to a Canadian radio station but either way - this family needs to seriously reevaluate some shit, man!  We're trying to have a sane society here!

Image Via www.dlisted.com

Michael Lohan Applied for a Job at Burger King

Well, damn!  Didn't this mesh-shirt-wearing trick used to work on Wall Street or something?  Yikes!

The father of former actress/current dirtbag Lindsay Lohan, applied for a job at a BK yesterday in Palm Beach.  He has just been released from a residential treatment facility into a halfway house and the people there recommended he find a job to pass the time.

No word on if he's been hired or not but whether dude gets the gig or not, this guy needs to seriously re-evaluate his life, man!  Jumping out of windows, kissing Kim G., getting arrested over blow jobs...It's just too much!

Seriously.  It really is.

Image Via www.mamarazzi.org

Michael Lohan Goes to See Kate Major Last Night - Gets Arrested Again

I'm with the judge, can't this motherfucker read?

About 12 hours after being released from jail for contacting Kate Major (and trying to beat the crap outta her when she wouldn't give him a BJ) Michael Lohan is back behind bars for...

...Contacting Kate Major.  Big shocker!

What's with these two? 

TMZ reports, "Michael Lohan was just arrested AGAIN in Florida after allegedly contacting his GF Kate Major -- and law enforcement tells TMZ, he tried to escape by jumping off a 3rd-story balcony ... and plummeting 34 feet to the ground.

According to law enforcement sources, Tampa police responded to a call early this morning from Kate, who claimed Michael had been trying to contact her by phone and wouldn't leave her alone.

We're told officers interviewed Kate at her apartment after she made the call -- the same apartment where Michael allegedly bruised her up earlier this week -- and while they were there, Michael allegedly called again.

According to law enforcement, officers believed Michael was a "threat" -- so they rolled up to his hotel to arrest him.

But here's the crazy part -- law enforcement tells TMZ, Michael tried to escape by hopping his 3rd story balcony ...  but crashed to the ground ... and then tried to hide in some trees.

After officers pulled him down, Michael was placed under arrest for violating a condition of his pretrial release (presumably for contacting Kate) ... and resisting arrest without violence."

What a fucking moron!  While he was briefly in jail yesterday he was also apparently served with outstanding child support papers, so he's still a deadbeat dad too.

Good luck with all that...

Dumbass.

Image Via www.ology.com

Michael Lohan Arrested Again! Over a Blow Job! BOOKING VIDEO

What...an asshole.

Taking a page straight outta the Mad Mel book of treating women who won't suck your dick badly, Michael Lohan allegedly threatened that jerkoff Kate Major when she wouldn't, you know...

Pleasure him.

(Kill me now.)

Anyways the story goes that dumbass (Michael) shows up at other dumbass' (Kate) house because for some TOTALLY FUCKED UP reason these two can't stay away from each other and evidently started some serious shit because "she wouldn't give him a 'blow job'" according to the police report.  Ha!  As if that bitch put that into the police report!

Now this is a warning.  This is about to get pretty damn yucky and ridic so if you don't want to know ANYTHING about Lindsay's daddy's peen OR sex life.  Peace out now...

According to the police report Kate Major says Michael came over last night to yell at her about an upcoming domestic violence court hearing (they go to court a lot.)  Major claims the argument got heated, and that Michael got violent pushing her "multiple times" and "[squeezing] her arms."  Major says Michael also told her he would "slit both his wrist and her wrist." and that he also threatened to chuck her off the balcony.  ACK!  Paging Dr. Drew...

Of course, Lohan also spoke with police insisting last night's incident was triggered by a sexual encounter that had just happened.

TMZ reports, "'[Kate Major] did not want Michael to ejaculate inside her. Michael Lohan stated he did ejaculate in her and his girlfriend got very angry.'  Michael told cops Kate told him she may have been pregnant from previous sexual encounters with him ... which caused an argument ... but Lohan insists he never laid a hand on Kate."

They're both a couple of yahoos so who the hell knows which one is telling the truth?    

Lohan then pulled his infamous Ihavechestpains bit to the cops so he could go to the hospital pre-booking and get this - supposedly he tried to "escape" the hospital after his "injuries" were treated.  LOL!  This isn't The Fugitive, stupid!  Yeesh!

Trying to outsmart the popo may not have been such a great idea though (duh - dude's like FULL of NOT good ideas.)  He was nabbed in his gown and taken in on suspicion of domestic violence as is.  Check out the footage of him getting booked in his hospital gown.  Now that's show business!

Jazz hands!!!



Image Via www.nydailynews.com

Michael Lohan is Easing Tareq Salahi's Break-Up Pain - VIDEO

Oh good!  Because that guy's not crazy at all!  (Rolling eyes.)

TMZ posted a video of Tareq and his new bestie Michael chumming it up at a restaurant.  The pap got in some good q's and Tareq told him how he felt "betrayed."  Ha!  Karma's a bitch, dude!  Tareq has betrayed a shitload of people in the past!  Stealing money, time, charitable donations and America's damn dignity by generally being an all-around criminal.

Oh and note Papa Lohan's face in the background...homie doesn't look too impressed that his new BFF won't STFU.  This is all a little funky smelling because there had been some sort of brouhaha a while back on Celebrity Rehab wherein Michael said Tareq and his idiot wife (at the time) stiffed him on rent or something but Michael's whole deal is attaching himself to whoever D-lister is getting publicity at the moment...remember his hot second with Jon Gosselin???  The fuck was THAT about?



Image Via www.okmagazine.com

Michael Lohan, Kate Major and Kim G - What the Hell is Going On?

Okay - I don't want to get sucked too much into this horseshit but alas, since these crazy shows of mine are all coming together into a shitstorm of real/reality synergy - I CAN'T help myself!!!

So it all started with a kiss, with Michael Lohan's lips meeting Kim Granatell's in a disgusting display of frenching - they swore up and down that it was true - others said it was for one of those reality shows Michael keeps "making" (you know, the ones that never actually go on the air???  Divorced Dads anyone???)

Then it found its skeezy way to YouTube where Kim G basically told that drunk jackass Kate Major to go screw herself because Michael was HERS!  (Check out that vid - she's such an idiot!)  She also tweeted a bunch of garbage about the supposed love affair with Lindsay's daddy, but then said she was hacked and that she wasn't with Lohan...ugh.  I don't know how you hack someone's dumb ass into a crappy YouTube vid - Granatell can't think of a lie good enough to explain that one...yet... 

Then it seemed to have made its ugly way to Celebrity Rehab - where Lohan's on again, off again, on again, off again trainwreck of a fiance, Kate Major, started some sort of shitshow on camera...seriously, it got ugly!

Amidst a phone call from hell between him and a fairly obviously inebriated Major, she broke down over the aforementioned pics of the kiss on TMZ.  Stay with me now...

So, she got all gangsta on Lohan, he almost had a GD heart attack and she showed up at the rehab center.  A screaming match ensued - he kept insisting the kiss was fake, she threw some jabs about no one liking him not even his family and he told her he was only with her because she let him put it "in every hole."  GROSS!  TMI mofo!  TMI!!!

Kim G is now staying mum about the matter, Michael Lohan says they didn't show the whole story and Kate Major is drunk and possibly dying in an alley while clutching a picture of Michael while whispering sad shit like, I wish I was Lindsay...

Just kidding, Kate spewed some crap on twitter saying, "Ahh to clear up the fake editing on celeb rehab- that night I was getting my nails done and went to cvs when I got a disturbing text about a pic. I wasn't drinking and refused to go & was forced to. It's all lies all I would need rehab for is getting over the fake slander I faced on that show."

Whatever the hell that means...who forced her???  Dr. Drew???

In my estimation - these people are fucking CRAZY!!!  They should all be in rehab dammit!  And not Dr. Drew's Disneyland rehab - a real one - then maybe, just maybe, they can all get the help they need and fade away already...they're making my ass stupider just watching them.

Image Via www.realhousewivesofgossip.blogspot.com

Kim G Says Michael Lohan is ALL MINE! - VIDEO

Ugh - then take him already, bitch!  

My boyfriend asked me once, when he accidentally pulled some side-eye on an ep of  Real Housewives of New Jersey, "Who the fuck is Kim G?"

It was harder to answer than I thought it would be - Generally speaking though, Kim G is a shit starter, the mother of Chris Manzo's BFF, the one who yelled at prostitution whore in public that she had "fake, square tittays" and Michael Lohan's supposed piece of ass at the moment (sorry Lindsay).  Phew - didja get all that?

Well, after her recent (and quite unceremonious) ejection from The Real Housewives of New Jersey on their Christmas ep, Kim G has to look elsewhere for fame, yo!  So, why not pull a Jon Gosselin (remember him?) and join forces with other fame-seeking-super-ho Michael Lohan? 

Kim Granatell made a video that no one asked for for her buddy Tom Murro over at Celebrity Magnet explaining how that fake kiss wasn't fake and how Kate Major can go screw herself because Michael is with her!  It appears to be in response to that last installment of Celebrity Rehab where Kate Major was going all psycho-stalker on Mikey.

Michael is apparently amused by the whole stupid love triangle saying, "I'm laughing my ass off.  Kim sure is good at stirring up drama."  True dat, Michael...true DAT!



Image Via www.jedresnik.com

Michael Lohan To Box John Wayne Bobbit

Um what?

Apparently, today in celebrity boxing news, Michael Lohan is poised to duke it out with John Wayne Bobbit (that douchebag whose wife cut his dick off in 1993).  How crazy is that?  Apparently, Bobbit was supposed to fight once before - with Joey Buttafuoco - back in the day but got arrested for domestic violence and couldn't make the fight.

Kind of using the word Celebrity pretty fast and loose eh?

“It’s for a great cause, raising awareness for teen drug and alcohol addiction," says Celebrity Boxing founder, Damon Feldman.

Please!  How many people are going to get shitfaced and watch this - I'm guessing 90% of the audience...sober people don't watch this crap!

The match will take place on June 4th in Florida.

Image Via www.sharetv.org

Want to Date Michael Lohan?

Got $10,000 bucks?

That's right folks!  This hunky, mesh-shirt wearing, phone-talkin', jailbird of a divorced trainwreck is available for dates...IF you have a cool Ten grand!  Pfft - good luck with that one, dude.

The worst father ever born-again Christian has almost agreed to accept a lifetime membership to the dating website WhatsYourPrice.com, whose members offer money to go on a first date.  By the way check out that site, it's a trip!

The date with a douchebag requires:
- $10,000 minimum first date offer
- First class airfare if he has to travel out of state for the date
- Four star hotel accommodations or better

And, oh yeah, he doesn't kiss and tell...shhh!  In case you want to make out with his old, skanky ass and don't want anyone to know about it - be assured, it's cool.

The deal hasn't been finalized and if it goes through MiLo intends on donating the cash to his rehab programs (not his - ones that he runs or something).

What a bunch of horseshit! 

Image Via www.videogum.com

Michael Lohan Released From Hospital - Going After His Ex Now

Michael Lohan's having a real banner week, eh?  Not since Jon Gosselin and his Ed Hardy-swaddled antics have I seen such a douchebag dad...well, there's always Slade Smiley - but let's stick to this doucher for the time being...

MiLo was released from the hospital this morning after they treated him for a booboo "deep cut" that he got on his arm along with heart issues from fighting with that nasty, wannabe starfucker Kate Major on Monday night.  The injury was supposedly obtained during that domestic fight and before she had him arrested for domestic violence.

He has since been released with a citation and TMZ is reporting that Lohan will be charged with domestic violence, false imprisonment, and preventing the reporting of victimization...and so what's a guy to do?  Charge her back of course!

In true Lohan fashion he is denying everything and saying that he was the victim of assault and not Major.  In a video on RadarOnline he rants and raves about Major and says he has an appointment with the popo to charge Kate.  What is wrong with this fool?  Nothing says I don't pick on women like picking on women, brainiac.  

And BTW - where the Hell is Kim G???

Image Via www.thegossipbee.com

Michael Lohan is Dating Kim G - And Has Yet Another Incident at Celeb Rehab

In the latest WTF celeb news, that idiot Michael Lohan is dating that other idiot Kim Granatell (more famously known as Kim G) from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Mourning another death of his daddy/daughter bond with original gangsta Lindsay Lohan, MiLo has found solace and a new short lived faux fame in the arms of the shit-starting Kim G.  Astrochicks reports that he's been texting her some lovey dovey crap like "You are beautiful inside and out" and "I need a fire, a fur rug a snowy night and you."  Ugh - I'd like to light 'em both on fire.

Apparently Kim is just as in love telling Astrochicks that Michael "...doesn't have a saggy ass and...is a good kisser."

Classy as always bitch.  Wonder what her kids think of this...So dumb.

Oh yeah - in more interesting minor celeb news - Michael's crazy ex-fiance Kate Major (that dumbass who quit her job at Star Mag because she thought Jon Gosselin was in love with her lol) is claiming he whacked one of her friends in the face.  It all went down at Dr. Drew's fake rehab and apparently had something to do with her showing up for a photo op therapy session and her finding out MiLo was a lying prick.  Duh!  What's wrong with this chick it's like she has the words "gullible asshole magnet" tattooed on her forehead!

She left - he followed her - the cameras followed them - and then she says he ripped off her bracelet and punched her buddy or something.  Major says it's all on camera.

Christ, Hollywood is getting so white trash.

Image Via www.realhousewivesofgossip.blogspot.com

Michael Lohan Is All Kinds of Pissed Off at Tareq Salahi

Lindsay's idiot father Michael is a trip, yo!  How does this guy get himself involved in everything that ever happens???  Guy's like Forrest fucking Gump, man!

Anyways, in MiLo's latest incident I guess he rented an apartment to the gruesome twosome Salahi's for $2500 for 3 weeks and they didn't pay him his money.

What is he?  New?  That's what these assholes do!  It's like their thing.  You know how being a hobag is Tila Tequila's thing?  Well this is their thing.  Not paying for shit and crashing parties they shouldn't be at.

RadarOnline took a break out of taping Charlie Sheen every two seconds and got some gnarly video of Michael and Tareq fighting through the paps.  The video is weird though.  The first part has MiLo bitchin' and moanin' about his "owed" money and talking up Dr. Drew like he has a ten inch penis (he even takes a low blow shot at Tareq for "not caring about his wife and pulling her out of the program when she needs help" which I don't even think happened) and then the second part is that lying fuck Tareq alluding to the fact that this was just entertainment and good showmanship on Michael's part.

Hmmm.  Tough to tell who to believe...

Bottom line seems to be that Tareq never paid Michael for renting him and his stupid Barbie doll wife the apartment, Michael wants his money and is pissed that he's not as famous an anyone else and Dr. Drew's reality show "Celebrity Rehab" is probably a big fake mess of spoiled and overacting D-list celebutards.  (It is kind of shady that the Celebrity Rehab cameras were reportedly on site taping.)

I don't really care - I love that show!  Fake or real?  Who gives a rats ass?  I say serve them all up on a skewer and let's all sit back with a beer and enjoy the show!

And man, I am going to watch the shit out of this season!

Image Via www.okmagazine.com

Celebrity Rehab Casting in Progress

This has got to be a joke.  A really bad joke.  A fucking shitball of a joke that is not even good enough to jerk off good jokes.

Casting for the new season of Celebrity Rehab has begun and check out who's going to be on the trainwreck show next, Michael Douchebag Lohan and infamous White House crashers Tareq and Michaele Salahi!

WTF is that?  In the words of Nene Leakes, Shut up!  That is sooo stoopid!!!

First off, I thought that dumbass Michael was all squeaky clean and sober and even working at a rehab center helping out any kid in trouble he didn't father and secondly, since when are those assholes the Salahis in need of rehab?  I watched them crash the White House and the whole season of their Housewives of DC exploits and I barely saw them drink their own crappy wine.

Can you get rehabbed for being a fucktard?

Oh yeah, you can.  Jesse James did a while back...Other "celebs" who will join this trifecta of society's garbage include Dwight Gooden (former NY Mets pitcher), Hobie from Baywatch and that crazy biatch Bai Ling.  PS -LiLo has already spoken out about the sitch saying she's worried Michael will embarrass the family and not use his paycheque to take care of his child support to Dina.  Oy Vey!  These freakin' Lohans, can't keep their big mouths shut.  Just stay the fuck home - all of y'all!  It worked for Britney and she was damn near half dead at one point...Sometimes it needs to not be about a paycheque, Christ - have a little dignity!

Images Via www.tmz.com

Michael Lohan Says Dina Snorted Coke with Lindsay!!!

Oh Michael NOOOO!!!

Sonofabitch!  Whatever happened to this fool keeping his trap shut?!?

Michael Lohan went on a radio talk show this morning and said that Dina snorted coke with Lindsay in the past!  The interviewer tried to get a little more into that bold ass statement but Michael glossed by it when pressed.  It seems he made the statement in spite because Dina pissed him off pretty good on Wednesday by not letting him onto the elevator with his daughter (she has a protective order against her ex-husband).

He even said some crazy shit about Dina's older brother Chris Sullivan having Hep C from "drinking and drug use" and that when Dina got pissed about MiLo helping her nephew (Chris' son) with his own drug problems by putting him into rehab, Dina fired Chris leaving him with no medical insurance - and when he couldn't pay for his much needed meds anymore he died.  Jesus!  That's not only below the belt that's like fucking taking the belt off and beating the shit out of her with it!

Tell Lindsay's lawyer this shit!  Or he could've told her counselors at Betty Ford...don't give an interview and tell the slack jawed masses on a radio show!!!  That doesn't help anything!  Baaaad parenting...

He also took shots at Lou Taylor, Larry Rudolph and Sam Ronson!  Oh yeah, and of course he didn't miss a chance to plug his new rehab job.  You can give a listen here.

Wow, real shit week for LiLo, eh?

Image Via www.bumpshack.com