Mila Kunis Chicken Lawsuit > Mila's All Bitch Please - Kristina Karo Turds Up TMZ (VIDEOS)

Mila Kunis chicken lawsuit...why can't I quit youuuuu?!?

Okay so I know it's pretty stupid to have even posted one word about this tinsel town garbage let alone written two blog posts about it but I think this is some funny shit!

If you're just tuning in you may want to check out the initial post Here.  Admittedly, it's one of my more verbose posts and I could've cut a significant amount of the fat but screw it, you gotta live right?

So here it is - post number two about a wannabe Ukrainian pop star named Kristina Karo and a chicken named Doggie who may or may not of been stolen by super awesome Mila Kunis.  Editor's Note:  The fuck he was! 

In the red corner we have Mila and Ashton - the Hollywood power couple took a hot minute to weigh in on this little nugget of madness via video and basically farted in her general direction, figuratively speaking. ;)



Haha - No Green Card for you!

And then we have Karo - the Lady Gaga of chicken lawsuits - in all her infinite fucking wisdom she thought it would be a kick ass idea to go on TMZ and explain what the hell is wrong with her and...I'll just be realz, it did NOT go well.



She's so demure lol.  And yeah, I see the chicken on the desk, woman!  Shreeeeewd!

I promise to stop posting about this crap now...probably...unless something else funny happens...then I might.

Ugh - What the hell is wrong with me?

Image Via www.shirtoid.com

Some Crazy Bitch is Suing Mila Kunis Over a Pet Chicken

Crotch shot...

Here's wassup >

Super adorbs Mila Kunis is being sued by some crazy bitch who thinks she's a pop star over the theft of said pop star's childhood chicken 25 FREAKIN' YEARS AGO!

Ugh - Should be some sort of statute of limitation on being a fucking moron...

Kristina Karo, the aforementioned "pop star" (she ain't no Rihanna, I'll say that...vid below) and above gratuitous crotch shot alleges that she went to school with Mila back in the day and that they were "inseparable" when they were kids.

Homegirl claims that Mila was all super jelly of her and her pet chicken WHEN SHE WAS 7 and that she stole it from her.  Karo goes on with some jabberwocky about how Mila would swing by her Ukrainian digs to play with her chicken (who she called Doggie which is stupid af but whatevs) and everything was kosher until one day something not so cool happened...

One day Doggie disappeared - ABDUCTION!  Straight up chickennapping, yo! - But wait, there's more...there's a confession, a confession of pure guilt.

You see, Karo says Mila immediately manned the fuck up (weak) telling her "Kristina, you can have any other chicken as a pet, you have a whole chicken farm."  

Preach.

Well!  The story unfolds further my friends...Now Karo is in LaLaLand - peace out Ukraine bitches! - trying to make a name for herself and her crotch and now she wants retribution for this heinous chicken non-crime.  Bitch says now that her and her childhood bestie are living in the same city again all sorts of sad, sad memories of Milas poultry pilfering ways have driven her BACK to therapy.  It's all VERY troublesome.

In the lawsuit she also alleges that the theft of Doggie 25 YEARS AGO has "prevented her from pursuing the American dream."

Where am I???  Is this a dream???  Like, I think reality stepped outta here 'bout five minutes ago...

She wants 5 large from Mrs. Ashton Kutcher (btw how good is it that Jackie and Kelso got married in RL? SO GOOD!) for the shrink bills but I don't think that she's gonna see a damn dime of that.

Chicken therapy...gtfoh.

25 YEARS AGO!

Image Via www.youtube,com 

Demi Moore Thinks She May Be Unlovable

Awwww!  That damn Ashton Kutcher done effed up her mind about her ability to be loved, yo!

Nah, prob not, but I bet the big public dump he took on her smarted a little...(and by little I mean a lot!)

The former actress recently told Harper's Bazaar: 

What scares me is that I'm going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I'm really not lovable. [I worry I'm] not worthy of being loved. That there's something fundamentally wrong with me.
I used to think that what scared me was the idea of being abandoned until someone said to me, 'Only children can be abandoned. Adults can't be abandoned because we have a choice. Children don’t have a choice.'

Um, ai'ight.  That's just a bunch of stupid BS insecurity - get thee to a good therapist and hug that shit out!

She'll be fine!  She's a smokin' hot cougar bazillionaire!  Ain't nothin' fundamentally wrong with that!

(She does seem like a bit of a handful though.  No lie.  Prob totally HIGH maintenance!)

Image Via www.eonline.com Via Harper's Bazaar

This is Who Demi Moore is Banging?

Girlfriend!?!  He's so...shiny!  You should NEVER trust a shiny dude!  All reflective and tan - yuck!  Just askin' to be kicked in the nuts!

But that's neither here nor there I suppose...

RadarOnline is reporting that since Demi Moore split from Ashton Kutcher for having sex with a bunch of whores in a hot tub (allegedly) she is dating beauty mogul to the stars, Scott-Vincent Borba.

What the fuck is a "beauty mogul to the stars?"  Is that a thing?  If that IS a thing...that's a messed up thing to be.  But I digress...

The point is that the guy is all sorts of shiny ugg and she can do waaay better.  She was married to Bruce Willis for God's sake!  John McClane, man!!!

Image Via www.exposay.com  

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher Quit Each Other...

Aw!  And I was hoping that they would prove to us all that cougar love could make it, man!!!  I wanted so badly to believe that an old lady could nab herself a young stud...but apparently that is not true.  Fuck!

From the Huffington Post:

"Demi Moore is filing for divorce from Ashton Kutcher, she told the Associated Press.  'As a woman, a mother and a wife, there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life,' she told the news service.

In September, it was alleged that Kutcher had cheated on Moore with Sara Leal while he was in Las Vegas. He denied the accusation. Moving vans were spotted at the couple's home in October.  The pair were spotted at Bruce Willis's vacation home earlier in November, supposedly working on their marriage.

Kutcher and Moore were married in 2005; she was 43 years old, while he was 27 at the time."

Ashton, who tweets every single fucking thing that happens to him wrote on his page:

She's been mum on the social media website (her twitter handle is @mrskutcher though so that sucks she has to change it - bitch should've had a handle that said @nevershouldhavemarriedateenager.  Oh snap!  That's right...I went there.)  No word has come out from either camp addressing all those pics of Ashton  (possibly getting his fuck on) with a bunch of whores in a hot tub, but that seems to be when the shit really hit the fan.

Can't say I didn't see this coming but divorce is always sad...unless you're a Kardashian...then it's usually just karma.

Stupid Kardashians. 

Image Via www.alhaqonline.net

Ashton Kutcher Unfollowed Demi on Twitter

But he does still follow Snooki HA!  What an asshole!

I actually like Kelso quite a bit and I wasn't going to buy into this whole faux divorce BS until I read the news...Ashton Kutcher UNFOLLOWED Demi Moore on twitter!!!

That's like slapping her across the face!  HARD!  With your hot tub cheating (allegedly) dick!

I checked it out for myself and he did indeed stop following his wife but twitter is an elusive bitch who, in my estimation, unfollows at random sometimes.  Sucks to be her though, her handle is @mrskutcher - she's going to have to change it!  That's SOOO annoying!

Douche move if he did dump her bony ass on the social networking site but also very apropos.  He's the king of twitter.

But is Demi still his Queen?

See what I did there? ;)

Image Via www.vogue.co.uk

Charlie Sheen Out - Ashton Kutcher In

Who's winning now, bitch?!?

After publicly committing career suicide and going on a Goddess-involved, pug killing, Ustreaming bender of sorts looks like Charlie is definitely NOT getting back on the hit show he once starred on.

They're moving on you mofo! 

The studio just announced the re-cast.  Ashton Kutcher is supposedly in as the new lead on Two and a Half Men while Charlie continues on his tour of truth or trolls or winning or whatever.  And supposedly there is a HUGE ASS payday involved.  Not as much as Sheen raked in as the top dog on TV but about half of that which is enough to keep Demi in herbal body wraps for fucking ever anyway.

I don't watch anything on TV that doesn't have a Trump in it or the word Housewives in the title so I don't know too much about the program. 

Best of luck, Kelso! 

Image Via www.cwhrealestate.com