Brad Pitt Verbally Poops Out Some Insensitive Shit About Jennifer Aniston

Brad Pitt has decided to sound off on how much his life sucked in the 90s - including how uninteresting his marriage was with JenAn.  Well, that's not very nice!

The aging A-lister told Parade, "I spent the '90s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony...I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic...It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn't living an interesting life myself."

Bitch please!  Some of us LIVE on our couches typing snark stories about non celebs and we deal with it just fine - you're complaining about being a superstar actor (who gets the juiciest roles this side of Tom Hanks) who was married to an intelligent, architecturally-savvy hottie?  Yeah, sooo uninteresting...I feel really bad for you - ass.

He went on to insensitively say, "I think that my marriage [to actress Jennifer Aniston] had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn't."  Oh?  What's that, monogamous?

"I'm satisfied with making true choices and finding the woman I love, Angie, and building a family that I love so much. A family is a risky venture, because the greater the love, the greater the loss…That's the trade-off.  But I'll take it all.  One of the greatest, smartest things I ever did was give my kids Angie as their mom...She is such a great mom.  Oh, man, I'm so happy to have her...We'll get married when everyone can. We're not splitting up. And we don't have a seventh child yet." 

Why you gotta do her dirty dude!?!  Especially right now when her mom is dying in a hospital, you selfish prick!  Uncool!  Obvi, I don't have a prob with him talking about his undying love for Ang because he's with her now but keep Aniston's name out yo' mouth bitch!  Just leave it alone!

NOTE:  Brad released this statement in regards to the article (something he NEVER does FYI):  "It grieves me that this was interpreted this way.  Jen is an incredibly giving, loving, and hilarious woman who remains my friend.  It is an important relationship I value greatly. The point I was trying to make is not that Jen was dull, but that I was becoming dull to myself -- and that, I am responsible for."  Whatever man, you speak english AND you're a pretty sharp guy, whether it was you that you meant sucked or her - it's still a fucked up thing to say. 

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The Week in Break Ups

There are a few stars crying into their couture this week as a couple of high profile relationships have come to a untimely timely end...

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn are no more.  ScarHo 26, and Penn 50, were together for five months and made headlines when she gave him a crotch rub with her foot in public and also when they attended Reese Witherspoon's wedding together.  Saw this one coming a mile away...there's only so many times she could listen to him wax political and he prob got sick of her yelling Ryan's name out in bed.   

Amy Winehouse and rehab have parted ways once again.  After only a week, wino Winehouse has peaced out of the Priory Clinic in London.  No word on if she's all better but I highly doubt it...she stopped for a bottle of vodka on the damn way in!

CamRod is o-v-e-r!  No more Yankee love for Cameron Diaz as her and Alex Rodriguez are dunzo.  It seems like just yesterday she was feeding him popcorn like she was his bitch.  "They've broken up," an insider told FitPerez. "[Cameron is] hurt and betrayed, because she tried so hard to please him ... She went overboard."  Desperate Debbie is not a good look for anyone, Cam but don't worry - you can do better anyway. 

Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston may not be friends anymore!  If this were the 90s I would totally give a shit but since JenAn's movies suck balls now and Courtney has all but faded away on some Cougar show...meh.

Aniston and Cox have not been photographed together in nearly a year and a source (which means nothing these days) has confirmed that there is "tension" between Aniston and Cox.  Apparently, Aniston has a big stick up her ass about Cox's behavior while she is separated from her husband of 11 years David Arquette.  Allegedly her behavior reminds Aniston of her own heartache with her ex husband Brad Pitt.  Aniston's rep says, "It's a complete fabrication. There was no fall[ing] out and Jennifer considers Courteney to be a dear and close friend."

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Forbes 100 Most Powerful Celebrities

Here's our Bungled and the Botched breakdown of the list:

Heading up the rear is Desperate Housewife Teri Hatcher at #99 being edged out by her hotter, cooler co-star Eva Longoria at #81.  My main man, Eminem comes in at #71 and JLo takes a place smack dab in the middle at #50.

Whiny Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel takes a surprising spot at #42 with stupid Glenn Beck being stupid in spot #30 (thankyouverymuch Republican nutbags).  The super sad and alone Jennifer Aniston may crack a desperate smile since she's at #21 on this meaningless list and Leo made a huge jump this year to #15.  Mrawr.

The top ten include *drumroll*:

10. Superstar jock LeBron James
9.   The smarmy Simon Cowell
8.   Bon Jovi!  Nice! 
7.   Taylor Swift but Beyonce still had one of the best videos of all time!
6.   Endorsement poison and general asshat Tiger Woods
5.   New daddy Elton John
4.   U2 - because it's the 90s again???
3.   The incomparable Justin Bieber and his hair are still dominating the world
2.   Queen of the sad women Oprah (who has finally been dethroned after years at the top)
1.   And the winner of nothing but being on a stupid list in a magazine is...everyone's favorite cokehead...Lady Gaga!!!

Dear America - it's shit like this that makes other countries hate you.

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Jennifer Aniston is Soooo Sad!

Adding another layer of sadness to the saddest woman alive according to no one who knows her, Jennifer Aniston's dog, Norman has died.

She had the dog for 15 years...Poor sad, beautiful, filthy rich JenAn!

She had purchased her new $4.5 million apartment in New York under the dog’s name, The Norman’s Nest Trust.  RIP Norman!  Run free, you little piece of angel cake!  Run free!

And PS - I can already hear Angelina and Maddox cracking jokes from here!  Catty bitches!

Image Via www.starpulse.com

Andy Cohen calls Heidi Montag "Trash" - Jennifer Aniston Didn't Ban Her From Premiere

Well she is trash, isn't she?

For anyone who doesn't watch one of my favorite shows (for you Canucks we can only get it online and you have to search your ass off to find episodes) Watch What Happens Live is Andy Cohen's unapologetic take about everything celebrity.  On the program, Andy does a Mazel of the Week and a Jackhole of the Week each episode and guess who made Jackhole of the week???  Plastic not fantastic Miss Heidi Montag.

What Andy actually said was "Professionally, I'm not supposed to discuss any negotiations so I have to parse my words here. That trash is delusional and I would sooner stab...knives into my own eyes than see her on this network."  Atta boy, Andy!  Atta boy!

Serves her right - I can't stand how these two release fake stories about themselves and then just expect them to come to fruition.  Just because you say that you want to be on the Housewives of Bev Hills doesn't just automatically put you on it.  Spencer was even Tweeting that they were in talks with the Bravo execs for a spot for Heidi on the trainwreck show - um...no you weren't, freak!

Usually Hollywood just ignores them and their lies and neither confirms or denies their tall tales.  But not my Andy...

In other pointless Montag news...seems Heidi and her idiot husband Spencer said that they were not allowed to go to the premiere of Just Go With It (a movie where funbags has a 20 second cameo) and were banned by none other than Jen Aniston!  What?  That doesn't even make sense...since when is Jen in charge of Sony's guest list???  This ain't the Hills dumbass and JenAn ain't Lauren.

This seems to have not only angered Aniston but a few Sony execs and it seems like these two herpes have burned one of their last bridges.  It started when Heidi told Us magazine "I’m so upset.  I was so excited!...This is the first movie premiere I’ve ever been in and I can’t walk the red carpet because Jennifer Aniston decided I was too polarizing.  I've been such a huge Jennifer Aniston fan my entire life and it's just really upsetting that she would do this to me.  She (Aniston) should know how hard it is to make a career for yourself, and to have someone like Jennifer Aniston go out of her way to make things hard for me, is really disheartening."  (It's kind of weird in the interview she says Jennifer Aniston's full name so much.  Geez, if you're going to lie to the world at least lie well!)

Then when the D-Lister realized she shouldn't have tried to go toe-to-toe with the A-Lister, she attempted to furiously backtrack and spin some damage control. 

"I read that Jennifer had banned me from the premiere for being too polarizing but I know now that wasn’t true," the 23-year-old pair of fake boobs has since admitted.  "I got my invite and I would have loved to be there but I had to be in Los Angeles with my dogs."  Montag further tried to save face by apologizing to Sony: "I was honoured to be a part of such a great movie and I apologize to Jennifer and Sony for this big misunderstanding."  PS - It bears mentioning that no article exists where Aniston said anything about Montag, so where'd she read it?  Spencer's lame Twitter?  And what the Hell do you mean you had to be with your dogs?  Christ, it was your first (and last) movie premiere, get Spencer to watch them - he's got nothing else going on.

Methinks the apology is too little too late amigos!  Hollywood only forgives bad behaviour if you have actual acting chops or, of course, if your last name is Sheen...

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