Being as I’m totally obsessed with The Real Housewives of the OC when they created a spin-off of sorts to New York, I was in. Sign my ass up! All I needed to know is when and what channel?
They’re already done the 3rd season of this beast so we’ll have to start there.
God bless Andy Cohen! He found six women just as watchable as the others…where did he get them? Who knows? Who cares? Bring on the bitches!
First we have self-proclaimed Queen Bee, Jill Zarin. According to her she knows absolutely everyone in New York and for some reason this validates her to no end. She’s married to Bobby - which she pronounces as Bawbi - and has one daughter Allyson from a previous marriage. She spends her days tormenting the other women while pretending to be nice and spending Bawbi’s fabric store fortune like a spoiled teenager. Season 3 started with her at housewife war with Bethenny, the younger, prettier one she was formerly BFFs with. She uses her fakeness to sucker the Countess into the role of partner in crime and together they try to destroy the Universe! get everyone to take sides.
The Countess, LuAnn DeLesseps, (what kind of name is LuAnn for a countess? Whenever I think of the name LuAnn I think of King of the Hill), is an uppity broad who married a Count obviously and lived with him in a badass townhouse on the Upper East Side for the first couple of seasons. Season 3 found her alone and looking for an apartment after his nobleness allegedly banged an Ethiopian Princess and divorced her. They had two kids together, Noel and Victoria, who seem like a more level-headed version of these Real Housewives brats but who knows? Editing can be a gift or a nightmare. She constantly refers to her meaningless nobility and now is recording music a la Kim Zolciak. She had a fabulous Filipino maid, Rosie, who since the divorce has been AWOL as they had to move to the Hamptons where she could not easily commute to.
Bethenny Frankel (Hoppy now), was the token single non-housewife but season 3 marked her last season on the show as she was the only housewife in history (aside from Jo and Slade’s shit show - Date my Ex) to get her own spin-off. She’s a tough talking New York businesswoman looking for love and building a brand of booze, books and baked goods. She’s a little annoying, but funny at times, and though not my personal favorite she is definitely the only one with enough personality to deserve her own show, Bethenny Getting Married?. This, coupled with some teenybopper voice message where she told Jill to “Get a hobby” drove Jill Zarin batty and word is, she tried to get the other ladies to stop filming with her to fuck her over. Ultimately, it led to chaos and all out housewife war with the ladies picking sides and Bethenny leaving for good. Jill has since gone from one of the viewer’s faves to perhaps the most hated.
Alex McCord, the one who pretends to be rich, is an interesting one. After a few seasons of sitting back and taking abuse from the others, season 3 pretty much made her snap! She started the season low-key as usual but soon joined in their reindeer games and was making a spectacle of herself along with the rest of them…usually in public. She married a gay guy Simon Van Kempen, and together they make Silex! A gnarly social-climbing transformer who thinks the most important things in life are money and proximity to socialites. Simon used to run the Hotel Chandler but is now running a media company in the hotel sector. They have two bratty little kids with pompous names, Johan and Francois and these little buggers take misbehaving to a new level…causing chaos wherever they go. They’ve thus far, stabbed a guy’s gourmet burger in a hoity-toity restaurant, pulled fabrics off the wall at Zarin fabric and climbed up some dude’s leg in the Hamptons. Alex and Simon seem to ignore and almost condone the behaviour, or at least pretend it doesn’t exist. By taking Bethenny’s side in the war of the idiots-with-too-much-time-on-their-hands, she crossed Jill Zarin which is like crossing Sonny Corleone. I expect major fireworks here next season.
Ramona Singer aka Rameana aka The Ramonacoaster aka Crazy-Eyes is another businesswoman who has an impressive surplus clothing company she started on her own about 22 years ago. She is all sorts of nuts rivalling Jill Zarin as the resident bitch. She is married to Mario Singer, a jewellery maven and owner of True Faith Jewellery and has one daughter, Avery, who she tried (briefly) to turn into the next Lindsay Lohan. She uses her crazy eyes to antagonize the other ladies and start all sorts of shit but she manages to stay out of the main line of fire usually. She also, as the other ladies do, hocks a bunch of other products that I need not mention.
Kelly “CrazyAss” Bensimmon is not an original housewife. She was married to Gilles Bensimmon which is like marrying Mr. Big so kudos to her for marrying well but other then that holy shitballz woman! Get thee to a shrink ASAP! She joined the mix in the second season and I don’t even know what to say about her…she went nuts, the other housewives mocked her, enough said.
Sonja Morgan is the newest one. She is a welcome addition if only for the fact that she screwed Kelly’s former boytoy/fake boyfriend Maximillion and throws it in her crazy face repeatedly. She was married for about 10 years to John Morgan, the great grandson of J.P Morgan which means holy moneybags! But in recent news she has had to file for bankruptcy due to her divorce and a 7 million dollar lawsuit she lost. So, I guess she’s got about as much money as Alex now…how embarrassing.
I’ll be updating as new episodes from the next season come in.
