WTF is Dripping Down Christina Aguilera's Leg?

Okay - so we all know that Xtina is a hot damn mess who is all about getting her drink on (allegedly) and wearing ill fitting leggings but what we didn't know was what the fuck was dripping down her leg a couple of days ago at Etta James (RIP - so sorry to drag you into this) funeral service.

Well, finally we have answers!  Meaningless, unimportant ANSWERS!!!

This is what her mouth piece said, "[Singing there] was her proudest moment.  The sweat caused her spray tan to streak."

What?

Why wasn't it "streaking" anywhere else then?  Is her vagina particularly sweaty?  Am I actually writing this shit in a blog post?

Whatevs.  Spray tan streaks or not, I think we can all agree by this point that Christina is a yucky, yucky girl now.

YUCKY!

#TeamBritney ;)

Images Via www.gawker.com

Christina Aguilera is Getting a Whole Lot of 'Ho is Fat' Today

All right, since I see people have been searching my blog all day for this shit and I'm done bugging Nene Leakes on twitter (for now) I'll play along...

Last night at the American Music Awards, Christina Aguilera showed up looking a hot damn mess and it appears everyone has headed over to haterville to lay some smack down about her burgeoning belly and her horrific goddamn dress.

Now, apart from a few snarky remarks I'm not going to hate on the girl for her weight - this poor girl takes waaay too much "Ho is fat" as it is in my opinion...her fashion choices however, now that's a different story. 

Thing is, I don't think she's fat at all (contrary to what that bitchface Kelly Osbourne says.)  She is a helluva lot fatter than she was...but I hear she's three sheets to the wind most of the time so maybe the booze is going to her gut.  God knows if she is a drunk (she certainly seems to enjoy "da club") but I hear that from time to time...She could be knocked up again, but with the boozalicious pics I've seen lately, I doubt it.

I think if she'd keep her mega-octave ass out of supertight shit she wouldn't look like a damn stuffed ham half the time - anyone have Rachel Zoe's phone number???  For realz! 

Anywho, check out the pics of Aguilera and judge for yourself if you must...

Images Via www.dlisted.com

What the Hell is Wrong with Christina Aguilera?

Didn't this bitch used to be all sexy or dirty or Lady Marmaladey or something???  Check her out at the Michael Jackson tribute concert...

Yikes!

Lay off the hooch...and the Cheetos!

Image Via www.tmz.com Via Wenn

Kelly Osbourne Calls XTina a Cunt and Puts Kate Middleton on Blast

Sup Kelly Osbourne's newly skinny ass lately???  She's spreading the hate around like a Real Housewife of New York!

First she got on Christina Aguilera on The Fashion Police saying, "Maybe she is just becoming the fat bitch she was born to be. I don't know. She was a cunt to me. And she bought my house!"  (Not her house - her rich daddy's house - the one from the show.)  She went on to say, "She called me fat for so many fucking years...So you know what? Fuck you! You're fat too."  Yikes!  If that ain't the fat kettle calling the fat pot fat!  Sounds like someone has some issues with herself.  The feud was actually started by Kelly (when she was a fat cow mind you) way back in 2003, when Kelly publicly announced that the singer’s Christmas album made her want to stab herself.  I couldn't find any sort of garbage about Xtina calling her fat but who knows - weird thing is Kelly has come out before crying about people making fun of fatties - She told Us Weekly a whiles back that, "I took more hell for being fat than I did for being an absolute raging drug addict. I will never understand that."  I guess now that Obsourne has lost almost 50 pounds she's starting to understand.  Moving on...  

On Leno Miss Osbourne showed up looking like a jacked up Marilyn Monroe wannabe and took some shots at the lovely Kate Middleton too (for those who don't know Kate she's Pippa Middleton's sister - and it's ALL about Pippa.)  She said, "If had had that job I would only wear it once. If I am going to be the future bloody Queen of England I'm going to wear that dress once because I'm giving up the rest of my life, all of my privacy. At least I can get a new dress every day!"  Um yeah, sooo...that's stupid!  You know, for those of us who didn't grow up in a haunted mansion with Ozzy fucking Osbourne footing the bill, we don't really see the point in spoiled celebrities and pretentious royals thinking that the most important thing in the world is a new dress.  Kelly also said that she'd also get new gitches everyday if she were Duchess. "Well, if I could, I would.  That's a really good idea, actually."  Though I'm tempted I'm not going to make any smelly vadge jokes here but I could - know that.

So anyways, the whole thing is lame and Kelly sucks balls etc. etc. etc.

Hear that Kelly?  LAME!  Madonna should fire your ass for being so lame and buggering up her Material Girl line with your lameness!  

And before you mofos start writing me comments and emails about being anti-fat, it's just shits and gigs people - I don't really think either one is fat - however I do really think that chicks are unapologetic BITCHES to each other.

Image Via www.four.co.nz

Christina Aguilera is First Celeb on the Gay Walk of Fame

I know what you're thinking...Christina Aguilera is gay???  Well apparently she is because she is going to be the first celeb to be featured on the West Hollywood Gay Walk of Fame!

“We’re proud of Christina, who’s always supported causes important to (gay) people,” Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center rep Stevie St. John told RadarOnline. “We applaud her for speaking out in favor of equality and working to support the community.”

Oh I get it - she's not gay she supports gays...my bad.  Anyways, the Walk is located at the Abbey which is a gay hotspot - some of my fellow reality-tv idiots will remember it as the place where Bruce Jenner's stylist took him on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.  How's that for pop culture knowledge???  Booyah!  

Image Via www.exposay.com

Christina Aguilera Got Drunk Off Her Ass - Boyfriend Popped for DUI

Christina has embarrassed herself once again!

It seems the percolating rumors that Xtina is a booze hound are true - the dumbass got hammered with her man and they got busted for DUI early this morning.  I knew it!  She's been looking like a damn sauced-out, stuffed sausage lately!

Though Xtina was only a passenger in the car and had no charges laid against her she's probably going to have one Helluva hangover.  Her drinking buddy and newest boytoy, Matthew Rutler was driving and therefore drunk driving charges were laid on him.

Not a good couple of months for the formerly slutastic Xtina! 

Stay off the roads when you're drinking bitch!  You have a kid!!!  At this rate you'll end up in a neighboring cell with Lilo!    

Image Via www.solarnavigator.net