Check Out These Hilarious Photobombs

Hahaha.  This is pretty funny shit.

Don't cha hate it when someone RUINS one of your picture perfect precious memories with their silly ass???

I know I do!  (This probably would've been my engagement photo, jerkoffs!  Y'all know who you are!!!)

Well it's a helluva lot funnier when it's someone else's life moment being sharted on by some idiot in the background!  Check it out >

Happy Prom! Love, creepy peeking guy in the garage. 

Haha!  Lunch!

The fuck?

BUM LOOKER! CHEEKY MONKEY!

She's just getting her jam on no big deal.

Men think they don't need to wear shirts but you DO!  Unless you're Ryan Reynolds or something we don't wanna see them tittays!

Again...The fuck?

Oh grow up lady!

I have a buddy we call Spillz.  I get it.

This is wrong on so many levels.

lol Chicks.  Ew.    

Actually, I've had one of my signature changes of heart - now I'm kind of thinking the only thing better than a precious memory caught on digital is one with a funny ass person fucking it up in the background.

I get it.  I get jokes. ;)

All Images Via www.chacha.com/gallery/2514/what-are-outrageously-great-photobombs/finished

New Kurt Cobain Film "Montage of Heck" Trailer is Out - VIDEO

HBO has released a two and a half minute trailer for the much anticipated Kurt Cobain flick Montage of Heck and it looks SICK af!

Rolling Stone writes >

"The critically acclaimed Kurt Cobain documentary Montage of Heck doesn't premiere on television until May 4th, but HBO has unveiled a devastating two-and-a-half-minute trailer packed with snippets of never-before-seen home movies and family photos. The sneak peak also shows how Montage of Heck will seamlessly integrate animation into the story of the Nirvana frontman, much like director Brett Morgen did with his Robert Evans doc The Kid Stays in the Picture."

"The trailer, like the film, is paced by interviews with family members and bassist Krist Novoselic, as well as a taped conversation between Cobain and Rolling Stone's David Fricke. While the first look is full of intimate moments from the singer's life, the most poignant comes in the home movies that show Cobain playing with his infant daughter, Frances Bean."

"In addition to the film, which has been drawing rave reviews on the film festival circuit in recent months, Montage of Heck will be preceded by a companion book containing "a mixture of animation stills, rare photography and other treasures from Kurt Cobain's personal archive. Morgen also promised that the Montage of Heck soundtrack would feature "a mind-blowing 12-minute acoustic Cobain unheard track," though no details of the song have been released."

I, like many other Gen X-ers, grew up on Kurt's soulful brand of raspy raw song writing and to this day he STILL resonates as a voice of apathetic youth.  Kurt was capable of making people FEEL through Nirvana's music.  Whether it was happy or sad or stupid or contagious...this wasn't some Miley Cyrus pop shit.

This was art...It fucking still is.

Check out the trailer >   

Image Via www.lauralieff.com

Ottawa Opens Purrfect Cafe - First Ever Cat Cafe

Okay, okay, okay, so it's not as jaja as Starbucks or even Tim Horton's but do those giant corporate caffeine slingers offer free cats, coffee and snacks?  

Sure don't.

Well!  Ottawa just opened the Purrfect Cafe on 331 Cooper Street, a drop-in program that offers free drinks, food and wifi to anyone who wants to relax, hang out and nap (nap?) with some cutie patootie kitties from the Village Kitten Rescue.  

Genius!  I love it.  Cats for everyone!

Kayla Miller - who thought up the free cat cafe - says, "It's good to have a program that forces us to stop and be in the moment and enjoy the cats that are here to give people comfort.  If people are having a bad day, they can just come and pet a cat and it does wonders for your mental health."

Word to your mother.

A patron, Eleanor Upshall who is a self-proclaimed cat whisperer (recognize) said, "I don't feel fulfilled in life unless I'm holding a cat."

Does anyone?

Another customer, 28 yo Kat Murley, said the cafe gives her a place where she can relax and not "have to worry about hiding myself."

Don't hide girl!

"It's just the experience of sitting quietly and calmly petting them. Just sitting with a warm purring cat on your lap, you can't really beat that."

I am so on board with that statement.

From the Ottawa Citizen > 

Most of the kittens range from six months to a year old, and many have special needs. Bobby has no tail, for example, and Charlie is missing part of his tongue. Despite this, several of the animals have already been adopted from the café and Miller said approaching other rescue centres could be an option in the future, although "I don't want people to mistake us for a cat rescue. We're a cat café."

Poor Charlie!  Bobby NOOOO!

The Purrfect Cafe is open on the third Tuesday of every month from 3:30-6:30 p.m.  Check it out and help save a kitty cat if you can.  :)

Image Via www.ottawacitizen.com

Ack! ISIS is Luring Western Women with Kittens, Nutella and Emojis

Fucking looooove Nutella...

I don't usually rock my terrorist opinion in blog form because I find it opens all sorts of crazypeople doors but this little tidbit of information has me buggin'.

Straight up buggin'!

CNN (hit up that link for the vid) is reporting that ISIS is a fan of utilizing social media to lure western women.

Ai'ight...Makes sense, I'm with you...gimme some tips...save me from myself...

BUT then they go on to report just how ISIS is using social media to lure women - apparently the crafty bastards are using pictures of Nutella, kittens and emojis to make women think that ISIS is 'Jihadi Cool' (not my term) essentially making us want to join up.

ERT!  Back that ass up.  I don't like Nutella that much.

I skimmed through a few of the other articles and evidently they really do believe the use of such images will make women like me think that everything's all hunky dory.

Oh sure, I may need to behead a few people but fuck it, they've got kittens!

KITTENS!!!

Bitch please.

Image Via www.twitter.com

Drunk Hannah Writes Notes to Sober Hannah - Sober Hannah Not Impressed

Drunk notes are the best!  Much better than drunk tweets...you ever go on Twitter at like 3 am and try to disagree with someone with an egg avi?  Yeesh!  Could start a fucking war on there...

No joke.

Anyways, so there's a sheila named Hannah (a film student in Melbourne) who likes to get her pub on (drinking age in Australia is 18) and write drunk memos to her future self.  The results are questionably helpful and pretty bitchy but the only thing I'm thinking is that I would SO party with drunk Hannah.   

Check out the notes, complete with Hannah's Tumblr captions >

"The one time I wasn't being a dick to future me."

"I saw three of my best friend's penises."

"I woke up with swollen feet and old gum on my sheets."

"There's a video of a brazilian (sic) dude teaching me to pickpocket strangers."

"Turns out it was a mixture of soggy popcorn and vodka."

"I was pulling glass out of my feet for literally weeks."

"I had to throw the shoes out."

The notes are from 2012 and no new ones have been posted since so it's unclear whether or not drunk H-Dog and sober Hannah were ever able to coexist.

I like to think so.    

Images Via www.generalbooty.tumblr.com

The Official Ted Two Trailer is Out and It Kicks Ass - VIDEO

On June 26th Ted Two hits theatres and it looks pretty effing saaaa-weet!

Ted marries that hilariously stupid trashbag Tammy-Lynne from the first movie and sets out to have a baby with her but obvi with a serious lack of dick comes a serious lack of sperm.  Luckily, his superhot BFF Johnny is willing to supply Ted with the babymaking juice.

But aye, just as things are coming up sperm covered roses for Ted and Tammy-Lynne they get a letter from the government wanting proof that he's a person before they'll let them have a kid.

So what's a teddy bear to do???

Motherfucker takes it to the courts!  That's what.

Armed with that fine ass Amanda Seyfried as their lawyer, he and Johnny set off to sue the government for Ted's civil rights.

Hilarity ensues...

Check it out >



Hahaha "We could totally be lawyers."  That's funny shit.

Image Via www.youtube.com

Oh Mah God! This British Chippy Got Brain Maggots!

Ack!

I hate maggots!  Once when I was a little kid my pops told me to get him some carrots from the cold room (pantry) and when I jammed my cute little innocent hand into the bag it was straight up just carrot mush and yellow maggots!  Fucking scarred for life, man!  Oh yeah!  It was just like when Atreyu's stupid horse Artax drowned in the swamp of sadness!



Fucked up childhood memory shit...

Anywho, there's this British broad who went to Peru on vacay and when she came back she was all oh shit I have an ear infection and went to the doc.

Note that during the trip she had noticed some weird happenings...a fly had been lodged in her ear briefly, she got mad headaches and every now and then some funky ass ear liquid would be found on her pillow.

Ewwww.

Well, it wasn't an ear infection - Doctors discovered it was maggots (BRAIN MAGGOTS!  FUCKING BRAIN MAGGOTS!!!) upon investigation and upon surgery yielded 8 maggots (BRAIN MAGGOTS!) from her head.

"It was the longest few hours that I have ever had to wait…" she said.  "I could still feel them and hear them and knowing what those scratching sounds were, and knowing what that wriggling feeling was, that just made it all the worse."

Ugh.  Maggots in my brain!  Like I don't have enough non-maggot shit to worry about...  

Image Via www.straight.com

Kate Stoltzfus From Breaking Amish is in Maxim Now...

Um, holy get a tan already...

First off, what the hell kind of a last name is that?  Not to mock the bitch's name but it is all sorts of messed up when 4 consonants are in a row, n'est pas?  That's like slappin' English in the face or something, and I for one - though I write colloquially on this here blog, have mad respect for English.

Secondly, what the eff is she wearing???  Screw shunning her for leaving the Amish because she felt oppressed, she should be shunned for wearing that shit!  I'm shunning her ass from my house for the shorts alone!

(Yeah, I'm definitely going to hell for that one...)

Anywho, Kate CrazyLastName from Breaking Amish, which is MAH JAM, is now a Girl of Maxim!

Yay!

Now, I don't know what the hell a Girl of Maxim is but it seems to have something to do with showing side titty and pooping out fairly obvious quotes.  When I Googled this nonsense it listed a whole whack of people with big boobies but the only ones I recognized were Topanga, that sexy biotch Joanna Krupa, Sean Avery's "sloppy seconds" Elisha Cuthbert and Lindsay Lohan before her face was all jacked up.

You can check it out here but she mainly says useless shit like eating vegetables is healthy and that she misses gardening.  *Rolling Eyes*  There's also a behind the scenes vid but I chose not to watch it because I watch too much stupid shit as it is.

Editor's Note:  Team Jeremiah.  Abe and Rebecca are complete dickheads.

Images Via www.maxim.com

This is What The First Target Opening In Canada Looked Like - VIDEO

The first ever Target opened up in Ontario, Canada a few weeks ago to about 100 waiting cold ass Canucks who just couldn't wait to get their Tim Horton's stained mittens on some moderately priced foreign goods.  Some of them even waited since 5:30 in the morning!  Gross!

The hell is wrong with people?  I get back in the day when there was nothing to do but bang your cousin and gawk at McDonald's openings as they took over the world, but now there's Twitter and shit...and The Real Housewives!

Am I right, ladies???  Beverly Hills is ON POINT this season!  #TeamYolanda

Anywho, the first shopper ever (a young stud of a Canadian muffin) bought the kid's movie Tarzan for some unknown reason and the second guy purchased a Michael Bolton CD that he told the reporter he enjoyed because MB's "beautiful voice" has always "captured him" and that he was going to listen to it for FIVE HOURS!  That's like how they getcha to tell secrets at Gitmo, yo!

Sidebar:  He bought Time, Love and Tenderness.  That's not just ANY Bolton CD!  That's like the fucking Use Your Illusion of Michael Bolton CDs!  But five hours???  This guy's single, yo...

Another chick brags that she was one of the first in WalMart when it opened there but also opined that it was just like Zellers with the name Target.  Duhhhhh!  124 more stores will be built by the end of the year so get ready to look at an even less diverse, more corporate landscape of store options!  Yay!

Here's the vid > Photos/Video: Target opens!  

PS - After watching this I have decided that I have no damn right making cracks about US crazies anymore because of that Michael Bolton loving doucher.  My bad, I didn't know about that stupid guy...Trust me, we haven't been this embarrassed since Justin Bieber. ;)

Image Via www.twitter.com

This Guy Wants to Get Rid of All the Cats in New Zealand

CAT HATEEEEER!

There's a dude in New Zealand named Gareth Morgan who fancies himself somewhat of an environmentalist.  His main cause is to rid NZ of all the super awesome cats that are currently rippin' around which is WRONG but experts say if he gets his way, the country could be cat-free in a few years.

That makes me sad.

His main beef seems to be that cats kill local birds so we should get rid of the cats.  He thinks that NZ would be a beautiful natural habitat if all the goddamn cats weren't killing the noisy ass birds and he also said something about wanting to see "native wildlife, penguins on the beach, kiwis roaming about in your garden" when he looks out his stupid window.

Morgan is all stoked on neutering - Bob Barker style! - but says that if you're not too attached to your cat euthanasia is also an "option."  (Editor's Note:  Fuck this asshole!)

Yeah, well I also have the option of kicking this guy in the crotch if I ever meet him.  I don't really care how attached he is to his testicles...

Now allegedly 6 species of local birds have gone extinct due to kitty cat killings and sure, that sucks balls.  HOWEVER, circle of life, bitches!

I don't like this one bit!

Image Via www.gawker.com

Courtney Love Covers 99 Problems - VIDEO

WTF is this?

Check out cuckoo Courtney Love's rendition of Jay Z's 99 Problems.  The former Hole front woman slash OG hot mess was playing a show at StarBar during Sundance when she let this little ditty rip like it was okay to do that.

Granted, Court's cleaned up her act a bit and what with that little skank Courtney Stodden showing everyone her vagina all the time CL is def not the most slutty Courtney anymore...

So that's good.

Unfortunately, this cover is not so good.



I miss Kurt.

Image Via www.polarimagazine.com

Homeless Man Fatally Strangled For Stealing Toothpaste from CVS

That is sooooo not right...

In Chicago back in 2010, a homeless man named Anthony Kyser (pictured above) was strangled to death by Pedro Villarosa - the manager of a CVS store - and it's just now that the video surveillance has surfaced.  (I'm not posting it on here because I'm not into watching that sort of thing but you can watch it here if you want.)

According to the accompanying article >

"...the video appears to capture Kyser fleeing to the alley with the store manager close behind him. There's a brief struggle before Kyser hits the pavement, with the store manager on top of him.

Another man appears to punch and kick Kyser, at one point stepping down on his hand while the store manager remains atop Kyser. More bystanders join in, helping to hold Kyser down. Eventually, Kyser stops flailing his legs, the video shows."

They only say that some bystanders joined in...it was six people.  SIX PEOPLE!  What the hell is that about???

They helped hold the homeless man down while the manager strangled him to death.  His last words were, "I can't breathe."

Kyser's mother is suing CVS for the death - the manager claims that it was self defense.

Now I know that you can't steal shit, but let's have a little compassion people!  It's a fucking tube of toothpaste...NO ONE should ever have to die over a stupid tube of toothpaste.

Image Via www.dnainfo.com

This Dude Found a Chicken Organ in His KFC!

SICK!

Some poor starving student was trying to get his grind on at a local KFC in the UK when BAM!  Motherfucker saw what he thought was a chicken brain in his Gladiator Box Meal!

Kill me now.

The stupid salty poultry chain basically said that he needs to chill the hell out because it was only a chicken kidney and those won't hurt you.  

A spokesperson for the company said, "We always try to ensure the highest standards in all of our restaurants."

(Try harder...)

They went on to say that, "Although we haven't received the product, it appears from a photograph that unfortunately on this occasion a kidney, and not a brain as claimed, was not removed in the preparation process...We're very sorry about Mr Langoo's experience and while there was no health risk, we agree it was unsightly."

KFC then gave the student a shitload of vouchers for free food but he says he will only eat chicken at home now where he can see how it's prepared.

Word, bro.  Word.

Image Via www.dailymail.co.uk

My Fave Auto Corrects of the Year!

With 2012 coming to an end, Imma go ahead and make me a list.  That seems to be what people do 'round this time of year.  They make lists and they check 'em off!  They love it!

In the wake of some seriously troubling times let's take a moment and chuckle at what can become of modern man once he engages with that sneaky bitch auto correct and her sometimes slutty ways...

Here's MY list.

Get'cher giggle on >

Images Via www.damnyouautocorrect.com