Blake Lively is Kissing Mah Boo Ryan Reynolds Now

Ugh.  Skank.

First off, I thought stupid, hot Blake Lively was banging Leo or something...Secondly, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BITCH DOING ON MAH MAN!?!  Get off of him, ho!  He doesn't like that!

Granted, Ryan and I are not officially dating but that's not important.  I am very protective of mah boo and would do anything for him - Know that.

Anyways, not only was this wench seen sucking his face on a "romantic weekend" (barf), but she was also seen leaving his apartment with a pillow!  A fucking pillow!  Why not just slap on a sign that says, I'm a stupid horny hot chick who can kind of act and I just banged Ryan Reynold's brains out, bitches!  God!  At least it'd be more subtle.

Title Image Via www.tmz.com
Post Image Via www.dailymail.co.uk

Leighton Meester Suing Mother

Ooooh!  So Gossip-Girl-y!!!

Blair Waldorf is suing her idiot mother for taking money from her and using it to get a whack of plastic surgery done.  This angered the star because her mom was supposed to use it to care for Blair's younger bro, Lex, who has health issues.  Don't fuck with Blair!

Leighton sent over $7,500 a month to provide for little Lex but instead of using the money on her brother, the bizzatch spent the money on several cosmetic procedures like plastic surgery, Botox, and hair extensions.   Ho got her weave done!

It doesn't end there though, she also argued that she had an oral contract that required Leighton to pay her $10k a month and threatened Blair with a $3 million lawsuit if she didn't pay up.

This chick just reeks of shady!  Keep in mind that she's been in and out of jail before for drug smuggling and even HAD Blair in a federal prison during a stint in "da joint".

Gnarly!

Image Via www.leightonmeesterworld.com

Blake Lively Nudie Pics Surface - Reps Say it Ain't Her

Okay, so I wasn't going to go there but since no one will shut up about Serena VanderHobag's supposed nudie pics I thought I'd throw my two sense in...

For those of you who live under a rock and/or could give a shit about celebs naked, pictures surfaced the other day of a supposed nekkid ass Blake Lively on the internet and almost immediately her reps came forth to deny the pics were of her.  The pics look pretty right on but I don't see the Gossip Girl doing anything so desperate since she actually has a flourishing career and may be banging the hottest and most talented dude on the planet LEO!!!  (besides JT that is - call me, boo!).

This is much more a Vanexxxa Hudgens type move... 

Anyways, I'm not going to post the pics (sorry boys - but I did look for a pic for the post where she isn't wearing much - good lookin' out, yo!) but here's the link for those of you who need to replenish your spank banks - the girl is hot.  Muy Caliente!  Even if it isn't her.

Image Via www.goremaster.com

Blake Lively and Leo DiCaprio Together? UPDATED

Maybe.

And yeah, I totally know it's a douchey move to post on a maybe thing but it's a slow day and I don't want to write about Schwarzenegger again.

So, back in November Perez Hilton's ghost writers announced that Baz Luhrmann had introduced Serena VanderHobag and the King of the World at a dinner.  Well, check this old biddy gossip out, since Leo's split with Bar Refaeli he and the blonde clothes hanger have been spotted "canoodling at the Hotel du Cap Eden Roc in Cannes over the weekend!"  Well, fuck me!  Canoodling!  I don't even know what that means so I'm going to assume it means that he banged her in France.

Anyways, Blake's Manager an insider reveals that, "She was wearing white and he was in a baseball cap. They walked around the grounds together. It looked like they were a couple."  She was wearing white!  He was in a baseball cap!

I'm so sorry that you wasted your time reading this.  My bad.

(Original Post From May 17, 2011)

UPDATE - 06/01/2011:  It appears that reports were not too far off with this one.  Recently, Blake was spotted jetting out of  hotel with I-got-fucked hair moments before DiCaprio strutted out of the same hotel doing his whole don't look at me but look at me cool guy thing!  Gasp!  I smell a new supercouple!  I'm thinking maybe Bleo or LeLake may be some good names for the newest power duo...don't steal that though!  Patent pending, bitches!

Image Via www.popsugar.com

A-List Celeb Spread Herpes in Vegas??? UPDATED 20/06/2011

Not really a question but definitely a questionable statement!  Whaaa?

The internet is abuzz with talk of an A-List star giving someone herpes in Las Vegas and the ensuing lawsuit for $20 million dollars.  Day-um!  Wrap up yo' shit, man!  No glove, no love!  I don't care if it's George fucking Clooney - you can't just assume these boys are clean!

The plaintiff is saying that "they met the celebrity in Las Vegas April 1.  The suit claims the celeb -- a male who is worth in excess of $100 million  -- entered into a nefarious plot designed to lure Plaintiff into his luxurious hotel room to serve his prurient desires."  Oooh - nefarious!

And $20 mill!?!  Like, one in four Americans has the herp don't they?  I may have just made that up but I'm pretty sure I've heard that somewhere.  Bitch please!  The herp is worth $1 mill MAX.

TMZ says that, "The suit claims the celeb told the plaintiff he had 'no venereal diseases.'  At that point, they watched porn and engaged in 'mutual oral copulation, mutual self-gratification, rubbing and massaging each other, play-wrestling, licking and (unprotected) intercourse.'  And, it was all videotaped!  According to the lawsuit, filed by attorney Keith Davidson, it didn't end well, because the plaintiff contracted herpes.  The suit claims the celeb knew all along he had herpes and lied to the plaintiff in order to satisfy his desires"  That's so wrong!  That's like, dumpster baby wrong!

Herpes having bastard!

RadarOnline has a pretty slick post up right now that boasts the headline: Who Was in Las Vegas on Herpes Weekend?  Lol - that's so awesome!

They report that celebs were plentiful that fateful herpes-fueled weekend!  "...at Cinema-Con, headquartered at Caesars Palace: Ryan Reynolds, Russell Brand, Vin Diesel, Tyler Perry, Jack Black, Tim Allen, John Travolta and others (were there).  With Michael Jordan at the golf tournament were actors Larry David, Chris Tucker and Jamie Foxx; model Gabriel Aubry; director Spike Lee; talk show host Maury Povich; NFL QB Drew Brees; hockey icons Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux; and retired baseball stars Ken Griffey Jr., Greg Maddux, John Smoltz and Mike Piazza.  Notable names at the ACM Awards included American Idol judge Steven Tyler, TV hunk Chace Crawford and country artists Keith Urban, Alan Jackson, Brad Paisley and Toby Keith."

My money is on  Gossip Girl dude Nate Archibald or Travolta.  And ten bucks says it was - let's just say - homoerotic???  Only time will tell who gaveth the alleged herpes to the plaintiff...but you better believe I'll be updating every step of the way!  Herpes, celebs, lawsuits!  It's the perfect storm.  Beauty in celebrity nature, yo!  Beauty in celebrity nature...

UPDATE 20/06/2011:  The A-list celebrity who allegedly gave the Las Vegas visitor herpes has settled the case for just over $5 million!!!  That's what you get for bangin' a dude with herpes?!?  Shoot!  I know a chick who banged like four dudes with the herp and all she got was two bastard babies and a mad case of the disease - stupid broad!  Looks like you gotta bang the celebs with herpies!  Not just some dirty random dude, and yes, I'm talking to you Whori Lori - oh yeah, I went there...

Image Via www.kakiasoptics.gr

Blake Lively Joins Team Firecrotch

Blake Lively aka Serena Van der Humphrey or whatever has gone and got her hair did!  And the internet is ablaze with opinions and judgment.

I could really care less but who am I to determine what people want to read about?  And hey, it's a slow news day.   

The former blonde has died her tresses ginger and told People, "It’s for the film Hick.  I thought [my character] needed red hair. It helps when you’re playing a role, when I don’t feel like myself. And I don’t really feel like myself with red hair.”

Fuck, and here I was thinking it was for a live action Little Mermaid movie - shows what I know. 

Image Via www.mtv.com
Copyright Getty Images

Taylor Momsen Out as Material Girl Model - Kelly Osbourne In

 Don't fuck with Madonna, man!

Taylor Momsen is becoming notorious for her I'm-trying-to-be-badass behavior and faux shocking antics.  Now she has been dropped from the Material Girl fashion line and replaced by Kelly Osbourne.  Ouch!   

This is the second time acting out has cost her a job, last year her role as Little J was cut down to almost nothing due to the GG powerhouse not wanting to be associated with her new image makeover.  I don't know what the Hell is going on with this kid!

Guessing from her actions, I guess she thinks she's going to be some sort of Courtney Love ripoff but someone should really tell her Kurt Cobain is dead and shocking behavior is only shocking when it's not devoid of any substance.  You can't pretend to be all messed up, dumbass!  You actually have to be messed up...not that I want her to be all drugged up and passed out at the Chateau Marmont.  Just be yourself, yo!  I hate to pick on the kid...because though I don't want to admit it, I actually like The Pretty Reckless, and the chick has some acting chops.  And dude, it's so hard to come back from shit like this...

Image Via www.ayyyy.com

Taylor Momsen Sluts it Up at Justin Bieber Premiere

Taylor "I want to dress like a hobag because I think it makes me look rebellious" Momsen showed up at the premiere of Justin Bieber's new movie looking like a giant slutpuppy fool, dressed in this.

Because that's just how she rolls, yo!

The underage jail bait said, "I am who I am, I dress the way I do even if I'm at a Justin Bieber premiere...it's cool; it's not for everyone."  She went on to say, "I designed this corset with a friend, it's custom."

Who's her friend???  Courtney effing Love?  Come on now!

I'm all about wearing whatever the Hell you want and everyone else can go screw themselves but to pretend to be all badass while attending a Bieber premiere is pretty stupid, no?  And it really shows her age, which doesn't make the outfit look provocative and rebellious, it just makes it look pathetic and phony.

Take a page from the Lohan playbook honey, you have to be at least 18 to ride that ride...and you also can't be seen attending Justin Bieber events...EPIC FAIL.

Image Via www.bieberpics.com

Taylor Momsen Still Stupid - Still Slutty

In more Taylor "I'm a badass" Momsen news, the young, dumb star took to the stage for another The Pretty Reckless show half-naked again.  Yawn.

Not really news anymore since the skankalicious Little J is all about this "look" she has going on.  I heard she doesn't even break the image when she's getting her diapers changed!

Raccoon eyes also just gave another "shocking" interview to The Guardian, speaking out about her pro-masturbation agenda.

The angst-ridden one said, “I’m a promoter of masturbation. Don’t sleep around — learn yourself first! Guys do, but girls don’t. And that’s why girls have so many bad experiences.”

Puh-lease!  If I need sex advice I'll ask someone who isn't a pissy little twelve-year-old with a bullshit chip on her shoulder thanks.  I'd encourage you all to do the same.

Blake Lively is the Next Chanel Model

Serena van der Woodson is the new face of Chanel - the budding fashionista will be hocking Karl Lagerfeld's handbags next year in new ads.

The bitch has some mad fashion game so I'm not too surprised.  She's also become fast friends with Lagerfeld and Anna Wintour, making her the new muse-of-the-moment in the pointless world of high fashion.  While Taylor Momsen is busy rebelling against being a rich, privileged asshole and Blair is spending her time selling Herbal Essences shampoo, Blake has been cultivating a glamorous side career in modeling.

Stay tuned to see Blake in, what I'm sure will be, the super-trendiest campaign of fashion awesomeness to hit the planet since Madonna sold her soul to Dolce and Gabbana.  If you're into that sort of thing.

Taylor Momsen is a Jerk - Takes Hiatus From Gossip Girl

Yes it may be true, the angst-ridden, raccoon-eyed, pantsless, foul-mouthed Taylor Momsen is supposedly on a hiatus from being one of the resident biotches on Gossip Girl. 

Man, I can't wait until she grows up a bit and realizes how stupid she is.

Little J would probably rather be out flashing her underage tittays while rockin' out with her band, The Pretty Reckless anyway - reports are saying she only does GG for the money and doesn't really care about the show.

Stripper shoes are pricey yo!

It is also being speculated that her rider includes having a full bar in her dressing room.  What dumbass 17-year-old puts that in her rider?  Right, one who wants to look like a badass.  God, my eyes hurt from rolling them at her so much.

We all get it, you're a rebel - you're angry - everyone can go fuck themselves, right?  Only thing we don't get is what your underage future porn star ass is rebelling against...it's so hard being rich and pretty and on a hit show...it must be agony being her!  I'm surprised she can even get up in the morning.

These are what I call princess problems.  So cover those boobies up and stop talking about how much you love your vibrator you dumb jerk.  And put on some damn pants!  I don't even care what kind of pants...blue jeans, black jeans, any jeans, fuck put on some leggings for all I care.  I hear Lindsay has a line of those...