MTV Airs Alternate Ending to "The Hills" - VIDEO

Boom!  ALTERNATE ENDING TO THE HILLS, BITCHES!

MTV (in the States - not airing in Canada BOOOOO!) has been playing a shitload of Hills eps in what they call #RetroMTV and today they actually aired the finale episode with an alternate ending.

(Remember the first time it aired it broke every little girl's heart when Brody said goodbye to Kristin and they pulled out to reveal that they weren't in the damn hills but on a stupid sound lot?  Bastards.)

Well!  This ending is quite different >>>



Gah, I've missed these assholes!  I'm tellin' ya, not a damn day goes by when I don't think about Justin Bobby and his filthy hair and combat boots.

Not one damn day.

Image Via www.betcheslovethis.com

Lauren Conrad's New Condo - She's Back in the Hills

Lauren Conrad just bought some sweet new digs - A 3200 square foot condo in the Hollywood Hills for $1.35 million.

The 90210 penthouse has 3 bedrooms, 4 baths and a rooftop pool.  PIMP.  

The homeowner's fees on the sky palace are a gnarly $2319 a month on top of her million dollar mortgage.  She also owns another home in the 'Bu.  

Lucky girl also got to bang Brody Jenner back in the day...some chicks have it all...

(Ignore the old lady shit, I'm pretty sure that's not her stuff.)

Images Via www.mls.com

Lauren Conrad is a Glamour Girl

Damn!  Looking good, LC!

The Laguna Beach rich girl is on the cover of Glamour Magazine's swimsuit issue and I for one am stoked to see someone with a real effing job on the cover of a mag for once.  Sure, she's no brain surgeon or anything, but if I have to look at JWowws breasts one more time while hittin' up the mini-mart I'm gonna blow chunks.

Nasty, sick-of-women-being-idiots chunks...

Anywho, in the upcoming ish she waxes poetic about cellulite, her Laguna Beach co-stars and what it was like behind the scenes of the uber-addictive Hills.  (Click Images To Enlarge.)

But, where is Heidi?  I don't see her disgustingly warped body anywhere???

Ouch!  BURRRRN!

Images Via www.glamourmagazine.com

The Hills Movie - Say it Ain't Soooo!

I'm a big fan of The Hills - HUGE!  Even after they dicked me over with that BS final episode where Brody was left standing in a studio lot after pretending to say bye to my fave bitch, Kristin Cavallari - yeah, I can deal with that - I knew it was fake...

But to make a 90-minute movie out of reality porn is about as appealing as french kissing Spencer Pratt - and like most, it's not for me.

Audrina was the first one to get this rumorball rolling with some coy, ceiling eye comments to Ryan Seacrest saying, "Maybe we'll all come back together and do a movie, you never know."  This has somehow turned into - "They're definitely doing a movie so let's ask the other cast members what they think," sort of thing so when Whitney Port was questioned by People.com about a flick she just HAD to comment.

Port said, "I think it would be cool.  It would be cool!" so apparently she seems to think it would be cool lol - Lauren would probably rather die than deal with this fuckery again and Speidi is busy being hated and going broke - God knows what Jen Bunney and the others think of it but they were always just B-players anyway.

Keep in mind NOTHING is happening with this - "I don't know that there's anything actually happening," Port also told People - "I didn't know what she was talking about."  Amen sista!  I don't know what any of you are talking about anymore!

Image Via www.confessionsofaglamaholic.com

Stephen Colletti Is Dating Chelsea Kane

Remember Stephen Colletti?  The brunette heartbreaker from Laguna Beach who tore up the surf with his best bud Dieter and dated two of the richest hot chicks in the "real" OC?

Well, he's got himself a new woman!  Hear that Kristen and LC?

Like they give a shit...

Anywho, PerezHilton.com is reporting that Stephen or Stee-fan as Kristen used to say is currently hooking up with Chelsea Kane who is on Dancing with the Stars right now.  Other then that I have no idea who she is and I'm too lazy to google her right now so piss off.

The two were already reported to be an item but no one was really sure what was going down with the pair.  While now - thanks to the magic of Twitter we can see things are definitely happenin'.

Chelsea Tweeted, "My apartment is appliance-less. Opened my door to a handsome @Stephencolletti standing there with a brand new microwave. #thelittlethings” 

Ahhhh!  So, he is chillin' with the dancing blonde and apparently buying microwaves for her appliance-less apartment so they can cook up some loooove.  Go on, Stephen!  Milk those famous hos and get you some press while the getting's good!

Image Via www.blingcheese.com

Whitney Port To Lauren Conrad - I got the Shaft!

No, not that shaft you pervs!

The shaft with her scripted, non-reality "reality" show, The City.  UsWeekly is revealing that Whitney is pissed at Lauren because she thinks that her show was canceled to make room for LCs new project.

The mag goes on to say that with the exception of that boring idiot Lo, all the girls from the Hills are all jealous of Lauren and don't really think she's such hot shit.  Lauren's show has since been rejected by MTV...

It all smells like bullshit to me.      

Image Via www.thefilm.com

Lauren Conrad Show Cancelled = Me Pissed Off

Oh eff you, MTV!

Reports are stating that MTV is pulling Lauren Conrad's new show because it is too high brow for their audience.

Well, ain't that a bitch?

Hopefully another network like the uber-crappy W or Vision will pick it up or something because I think that sucks balls.

Team Lauren.

Top Ten Highest Paid Reality Stars

The Daily Beast has compiled a list of the reality stars who are estimated to bank the most cold, hard cash this year and it's a Kardashian-fest.  Kris Jenner must be kicking herself that she didn't have more kids!

The list is as follows:

Kim Kardashian - $6 Million
This krazy Kardashian has paved the way for a new brand of celebrity...pioneered by Paris but perfected by Kim K, this chick is a money-making machine!  By parlaying beauty, a somewhat famous last name, a big ass and a sex tape into an empire of fame-whoredom, it's Miss Kardashian's world and we all just live in it. 
Lauren Conrad - $5 Million
This Hills star made a name out of nothing and a career out of actually working.  Lauren is a talented style-maven who has carved out a lucrative fashion and publishing career for herself.  This chick has class, and she works it like no other young Hollywood reality star does.  Kudos for Lauren, go on girl! 
Bethenny Frankel - $4 Million
Most famous for being a Real Housewife of New York, I first saw Bethenny come in second on that shitty Martha Stewart Apprentice show.  She's since used her business savvy to eke out a high-profile presence in reality TV and personal branding.  Bravo loves this bitch, she'll be a mainstay on the network with her solo show for years to come.   
Audrina Patridge - $3.5 Million
Playing second fiddle to Lauren on the Hills, Audrina uses her perfect boobs to entrance men and make women feel inferior.  She has an upcoming solo show which I don't think will do too hot, but you never know.  The power of boobs is no joke!  
Kate Gosselin - $3.5 Million
Tied with Audrina, the octo-mom has used her no-holds-barred bitchiness to claw her way to the top of the heap of D-Listers on TLC.  While we watched her berate her useless husband and men in general, she soared in the ratings...now that the personal drama with Jon isn't on the show, ratings are falling faster than you can say child psychiatrist.  She still has a presence, but now it's in the form of being fodder for a scandal-ridden tabloid shitstorm.   
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino - $3 Million
We got a situation!  And it's that we pay this douchebag money to put out books and fitness videos based on the world according to Mike.  I'm a fan of the show and I've even been known to break out some Mike-isms like "grenade-free zone" and "T-shirt time" but I'm not about to go out and buy any of his crappy products!  That, for me, would be a major waste-of-my-money situation.  
Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian - $2.5 Million each
Completing the trifecta of the Kardashian machine, these two combine their powers with Kim to create the most famous sisters on the planet - Kardashius Prime!!!  They are a force to be reckoned with!  Books, shows, appearances...these chicks are like effing parsley, they're everywhere!
Kendra Wilkinson - $2 Million
Ugh - this one was a trip to me...famous for basically banging a rich, very influential old man, Kendra went from the projects to the penthouse.  She used her reality fame to bag herself a younger guy, though not as rich, marrying Hank Baskett (who does okay - he brought in about $1.5 in 2010) and popped out a kid with him.  She's an E Channel celeb so she takes a constant backseat to the precious Kardashian clan, but if they ever die, I could see her being the top bitch in the house of E. 
Pauly D - $2 Million
This DJ is another breakout from the train wreck show known as The Jersey Shore, possibly the most likable one on the cast - I'm betting on him for staying power.  That's right, when the Situation is a distant memory sustained only by TiVo and Snooki has died of alcohol poisoning - the last man standing is gonna be Pauly D.  You can quote me on that shit.