The craziest housewife (other then porn star Danielle Staub) says it's hard for her to date because she's a single mom according to the New York Post. I haven't been this shocked since Mark McGrath left Extra!
11.30.2010
Lady Gaga Already Big Pimpin' New Album
While playing to a Poland crowd of her clueless zombie followers "Little Monsters" Gaga revealed that her new album is going to be "the best album of the decade."
Hmmm - it's 2010 so it better be pretty effing hot to say that! I have to say when an artist says shit like this about themselves they're usually wrong...remember Coldplay? Best song ever recorded my ass!
She also spewed some of her famous pro-freedom speech saying “the funny thing is that some people have reduced freedom to a brand, they think that it’s trendy now to be free. They think it’s trendy to be excited about your identity, when in truth there is nothing trendy about ‘Born this Way.’”
Um, excuse me? Her whole schtick is trend-driven! If she were any trendier she would possibly explode and die of it. The 20 song album is going to be released in 2011 so wait and see, her monsters will gobble it up like it's air, but for the rest of us, it's just 20 trendy ass songs too long.
Hmmm - it's 2010 so it better be pretty effing hot to say that! I have to say when an artist says shit like this about themselves they're usually wrong...remember Coldplay? Best song ever recorded my ass!
She also spewed some of her famous pro-freedom speech saying “the funny thing is that some people have reduced freedom to a brand, they think that it’s trendy now to be free. They think it’s trendy to be excited about your identity, when in truth there is nothing trendy about ‘Born this Way.’”
Um, excuse me? Her whole schtick is trend-driven! If she were any trendier she would possibly explode and die of it. The 20 song album is going to be released in 2011 so wait and see, her monsters will gobble it up like it's air, but for the rest of us, it's just 20 trendy ass songs too long.
Barbara Walters Most Fascinating People are Especially Lame this Year
Babawawa knows what's interesting - that is if you're older than dirt and asking incompetent interns to let you know who they find fascinating.
The entire list hasn't been released but the names that have are:
Justin Bieber - Pop singer and he who whips his hair and makes girls cry with gleeful delight
Jennifer Lopez - Entrepreneur and big-ass beauty - Is it 2001 again or what?
Sarah Palin - Former sheisty Governor of Alaska, Levi hater and comedic punchline
LeBron James - Basketball player and guy who pissed everyone off by choosing to play with the Miami Heat
Sandra Bullock - Oscar winning Actress, Jesse "dirtball" James ex-wife and foe to Nazi-loving Michelle "Bombshell" McGee
Kate Middleton - Fiance of Prince William (the less hot son of Charles and Di)
Betty White - Last Golden Girl alive and comedy genius
The Cast of Jersey Shore - Random dumbasses from Jersey who became rich and famous for getting hammered and banging chicks on reality TV
The final two are God knows who - I'm thinking Oprah and maybe a trainwreck celeb like Charlie "Teflon" Sheen, Lindsay or maybe stupid Lady Gaga (who will probably wear a dress made of orphans or something because she's so artistic - barf!).
Meh - judging by the list thus far I won't be watching.
The entire list hasn't been released but the names that have are:
Justin Bieber - Pop singer and he who whips his hair and makes girls cry with gleeful delight
Jennifer Lopez - Entrepreneur and big-ass beauty - Is it 2001 again or what?
Sarah Palin - Former sheisty Governor of Alaska, Levi hater and comedic punchline
LeBron James - Basketball player and guy who pissed everyone off by choosing to play with the Miami Heat
Sandra Bullock - Oscar winning Actress, Jesse "dirtball" James ex-wife and foe to Nazi-loving Michelle "Bombshell" McGee
Kate Middleton - Fiance of Prince William (the less hot son of Charles and Di)
Betty White - Last Golden Girl alive and comedy genius
The Cast of Jersey Shore - Random dumbasses from Jersey who became rich and famous for getting hammered and banging chicks on reality TV
The final two are God knows who - I'm thinking Oprah and maybe a trainwreck celeb like Charlie "Teflon" Sheen, Lindsay or maybe stupid Lady Gaga (who will probably wear a dress made of orphans or something because she's so artistic - barf!).
Meh - judging by the list thus far I won't be watching.
11.29.2010
Spanish Woman Buys the Sun - The Sun!!!
Angeles Duran now owns the sun. The freakin' sun - like the one that is up in the sky giving us all cancer sun!
Though it is illegal for a country to buy the sun apparently an independent citizen can. That's right, Ayn Rand shit!
Angeles says, "There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first."
The crazy bitch also says that if you use the sun, you must pay her a fee. She won't keep all the money though. She's going to give half of her earnings to the Spanish government, some to her country's pension fund and the rest to research and to end world hunger. She will only keep 10% ofnothing the money she earns for "providing" us all with sunlight.
Okay Monty Burns, try again! No one is going to be forced to pay for the sunlight they "use", dumbass. And BTW - this broad should have to pay ME for her stupid sun damaging my skin, making my hair frizzy and keeping the Kardashians alive.
Though it is illegal for a country to buy the sun apparently an independent citizen can. That's right, Ayn Rand shit!
Angeles says, "There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first."
The crazy bitch also says that if you use the sun, you must pay her a fee. She won't keep all the money though. She's going to give half of her earnings to the Spanish government, some to her country's pension fund and the rest to research and to end world hunger. She will only keep 10% of
Okay Monty Burns, try again! No one is going to be forced to pay for the sunlight they "use", dumbass. And BTW - this broad should have to pay ME for her stupid sun damaging my skin, making my hair frizzy and keeping the Kardashians alive.
The World According to Kate Gosselin
Reality baby machine Kate Gosselin is having a super-crappy month.
First, Eric Roberts - a small time actor who is the bro of Julia Roberts and father of Emma Roberts - randomly took to Twitter to straight up call her a child abuser. Then the pothead Roberts, currently featured on Celebrity Rehab no less!, took his hatorade on over to http://smalltowngosselins.squarespace.com/ and gave an interview on how much Kate sucked. I'll admit, she's not the best mom in the world but who the Hell is this guy??? All up in her grill like he knows what's up?
Secondly, two of the little ones - Colin and Alexis - were reportedly expelled from school for rage issues. Christ, rage issues! Six-year-olds should not have rage let alone enough rage that it is an issue...Kate has since denied this saying she pulled them out of school but admitted they do have some anger aboutthe fact that they are reality guinea pigs the divorce.
Then comes the kicker, Kate came out in an interview saying that in an attempt to teach the kids not to be wasteful, she repacks their lunch if they don't eat it. Now, I'm thinking that's not a bad idea, right? I'm down with not wasting shit but here's the thing, apparently she does this for up to a week. That's a nasty ass sandwich! Damn girlfriend! Use some of that DWTS cash to make a new one at least and trick the little buggers into thinking it's the same one...the same point should come across. Evidently, they get made fun of for having musty sandwiches at school by the other kids and lash out.
In other news, Jon Gosselin is still with his sugarmomma Ellen Ross and is still a douchebag.
First, Eric Roberts - a small time actor who is the bro of Julia Roberts and father of Emma Roberts - randomly took to Twitter to straight up call her a child abuser. Then the pothead Roberts, currently featured on Celebrity Rehab no less!, took his hatorade on over to http://smalltowngosselins.squarespace.com/ and gave an interview on how much Kate sucked. I'll admit, she's not the best mom in the world but who the Hell is this guy??? All up in her grill like he knows what's up?
Secondly, two of the little ones - Colin and Alexis - were reportedly expelled from school for rage issues. Christ, rage issues! Six-year-olds should not have rage let alone enough rage that it is an issue...Kate has since denied this saying she pulled them out of school but admitted they do have some anger about
Then comes the kicker, Kate came out in an interview saying that in an attempt to teach the kids not to be wasteful, she repacks their lunch if they don't eat it. Now, I'm thinking that's not a bad idea, right? I'm down with not wasting shit but here's the thing, apparently she does this for up to a week. That's a nasty ass sandwich! Damn girlfriend! Use some of that DWTS cash to make a new one at least and trick the little buggers into thinking it's the same one...the same point should come across. Evidently, they get made fun of for having musty sandwiches at school by the other kids and lash out.
In other news, Jon Gosselin is still with his sugarmomma Ellen Ross and is still a douchebag.
11.28.2010
Superhot Justin Timberlake Campaigning for Oscar
Possibly the hottest man on the planet Justin Timberlake is taking a break from being awesome to try and nab an Oscar for his work in the facebook film, The Social Network.
You go Glen CoCo! If I were a member of the Academy I'd be stuffing some ballot boxes for him...I would do whatever Justin wanted me to do...ahhh Justin. Boy is beyond FINE!
Oh and how much do I hate stupid shelf ass Jessica Biel? Hands off, woman! JT belongs to the world...
You go Glen CoCo! If I were a member of the Academy I'd be stuffing some ballot boxes for him...I would do whatever Justin wanted me to do...ahhh Justin. Boy is beyond FINE!
Oh and how much do I hate stupid shelf ass Jessica Biel? Hands off, woman! JT belongs to the world...
Ugly Betty Actor Loses His Shit and Kills Mother With Sword
Remember Ugly Betty? That show that was pretty badass for a couple of seasons and then it got jerked around in the schedule and basically pissed on its bread and butter by changing the entire premise of the show?
Well, it's back in the news because it turns out that some formerly no-name actor, Michael Brea - who was an extra or something on one episode - has hacked his mother to death with a 3-foot ceremonial sword.
The actor, who has since said he felt like Neo from the Matrix during the ordeal (which is totally effed up), maintains he was doing God's work. He said, "I didn't kill her. I killed the demon inside her."
Now, I'm not a religious person or anything and I don't want to judge this obviously pretty mixed up dude, but I always thought God was an okay guy who liked people and wanted to help them out and shit...what the FUCK? Why on Earth would he want you to slash your mother to death with a sword? Demons or not, that seems like a major no no in God's eyes!
I hope the media doesn't spin this into a violence in entertainment issue, I would like to keep playing Grand Theft Auto in peace, but they've already done a pretty nifty job of labeling Michael as an Ugly Betty actor when (Google it) he kind of wasn't. Jokes aside, it's a sad situation and I hope the family gets over it okay.
Well, it's back in the news because it turns out that some formerly no-name actor, Michael Brea - who was an extra or something on one episode - has hacked his mother to death with a 3-foot ceremonial sword.
The actor, who has since said he felt like Neo from the Matrix during the ordeal (which is totally effed up), maintains he was doing God's work. He said, "I didn't kill her. I killed the demon inside her."
Now, I'm not a religious person or anything and I don't want to judge this obviously pretty mixed up dude, but I always thought God was an okay guy who liked people and wanted to help them out and shit...what the FUCK? Why on Earth would he want you to slash your mother to death with a sword? Demons or not, that seems like a major no no in God's eyes!
I hope the media doesn't spin this into a violence in entertainment issue, I would like to keep playing Grand Theft Auto in peace, but they've already done a pretty nifty job of labeling Michael as an Ugly Betty actor when (Google it) he kind of wasn't. Jokes aside, it's a sad situation and I hope the family gets over it okay.
Lindsay Lohan's Stupid Mother Dina suing Glee over Joke
I don't watch Glee, I try to avoid watching anything where people burst into song, so I don't know what sort of jokes they do but I do know that it is a comedy and that generally comedies tend to poke fun at people.
Apparently Dina Lohan never got the memo because the mother-of-the-year is super pissed at some lame jokes that Gwyneth Paltrow told on a past episode about her addict daughter, LiLo.
I read the jokes that she has her panties all in a knot about and didn't really get how they offended the matriarch. I suppose one of the jokes commented that LiLo is crazy but come on you dumb broad! She may not be like Charles Manson crazy but she is a little off. It's pretty nutso to kill off a flourishing triple-threat career and up and coming branding empire because she can't keep her coke out of her nose. It certainly isn't "normal".
Gossip Cop reported Dina told them that "our lawyers are sending a letter" on the grounds that they defamed the former actress. A rep for Lindsay said, "Lindsay has an issue that millions of people around the world are dealing with yet ‘Glee' is treating addiction as a laughing matter."
I've heard before that Dina pulls this crap all the time - sending letters all over the damn place threatening legal action at the slightest thing involving Lindsay. She should save up her stamp money and pay for some of LiLo's legal bills.
NOTE: This blog does not in any way seek to defame, slander or infuriate ANY stage moms and/or their daughters and should not be considered actionable in a court of law for any litigation.
Apparently Dina Lohan never got the memo because the mother-of-the-year is super pissed at some lame jokes that Gwyneth Paltrow told on a past episode about her addict daughter, LiLo.
I read the jokes that she has her panties all in a knot about and didn't really get how they offended the matriarch. I suppose one of the jokes commented that LiLo is crazy but come on you dumb broad! She may not be like Charles Manson crazy but she is a little off. It's pretty nutso to kill off a flourishing triple-threat career and up and coming branding empire because she can't keep her coke out of her nose. It certainly isn't "normal".
Gossip Cop reported Dina told them that "our lawyers are sending a letter" on the grounds that they defamed the former actress. A rep for Lindsay said, "Lindsay has an issue that millions of people around the world are dealing with yet ‘Glee' is treating addiction as a laughing matter."
I've heard before that Dina pulls this crap all the time - sending letters all over the damn place threatening legal action at the slightest thing involving Lindsay. She should save up her stamp money and pay for some of LiLo's legal bills.
NOTE: This blog does not in any way seek to defame, slander or infuriate ANY stage moms and/or their daughters and should not be considered actionable in a court of law for any litigation.
Kim Kardashian Rips off Your Kids!
Good old Kim K is gonna get some baaad karma for this shit!
Turns out her new kid friendly credit card, for kiddies who want them but obviously shouldn't have them, is a scam and rips off users with crazy ass fees. Available to teenyboppers as young as 16 the cards can help your kid bid on Justin Bieber shaped pieces of toast on Ebay and shop for crap online. Is this really necessary?
Here's a few of the many, many, many predatory charges that come along with the shitty card:
Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 6 months) $59.95
Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 12 months) $99.95
Monthly Fee (Applies after initial purchase period) $7.95
Card Replacement - Primary or Companion $9.95
ATM Withdrawal - Domestic $1.50
ATM Inquiry or Decline - Domestic $1.00
ATM Withdrawal - International $2.50
ATM Inquiry or Decline - International $2.00
Point of Sale - Decline -Domestic $1.00
Point of Sale - Decline - International $1.00
External Checking or Savings Transfer (To/From) $1.00
Account to Account Transfer * $1.00
Retail Load Fee (MoneyGram) $1.00
Load Account by Debit/Credit Card ** $1.00
Cancel Account - Request Balance Mailed by Check $6.00
Service Center Care-Live operator $1.50
Bill Pay - Per Item $2.00
Replacement Card Expedite Fee (Overnight) $25.00
WTF? MasterCard must've drove a truckload of money up to her McMansion to get her to endorse this garbage. I hope she can still sleep at night! But yeah, they probably did pay her a ton of cash and she probably sleeps just fine on top of it all - on that and on her big, fat, sex tape making ass. This chick really knows how to make it rain!
UPDATE: 01/12/2010
It turns out the stupid Kardashians finally clued in and have since stopped endorsing the card due to an investigation and public uproar.
Turns out her new kid friendly credit card, for kiddies who want them but obviously shouldn't have them, is a scam and rips off users with crazy ass fees. Available to teenyboppers as young as 16 the cards can help your kid bid on Justin Bieber shaped pieces of toast on Ebay and shop for crap online. Is this really necessary?
Here's a few of the many, many, many predatory charges that come along with the shitty card:
Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 6 months) $59.95
Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 12 months) $99.95
Monthly Fee (Applies after initial purchase period) $7.95
Card Replacement - Primary or Companion $9.95
ATM Withdrawal - Domestic $1.50
ATM Inquiry or Decline - Domestic $1.00
ATM Withdrawal - International $2.50
ATM Inquiry or Decline - International $2.00
Point of Sale - Decline -Domestic $1.00
Point of Sale - Decline - International $1.00
External Checking or Savings Transfer (To/From) $1.00
Account to Account Transfer * $1.00
Retail Load Fee (MoneyGram) $1.00
Load Account by Debit/Credit Card ** $1.00
Cancel Account - Request Balance Mailed by Check $6.00
Service Center Care-Live operator $1.50
Bill Pay - Per Item $2.00
Replacement Card Expedite Fee (Overnight) $25.00
WTF? MasterCard must've drove a truckload of money up to her McMansion to get her to endorse this garbage. I hope she can still sleep at night! But yeah, they probably did pay her a ton of cash and she probably sleeps just fine on top of it all - on that and on her big, fat, sex tape making ass. This chick really knows how to make it rain!
UPDATE: 01/12/2010
It turns out the stupid Kardashians finally clued in and have since stopped endorsing the card due to an investigation and public uproar.
11.27.2010
Naked Man in Lawn Chair Top Suspect in Arson
In more crazy pants news from Florida, some naked dude who was sitting in a lawn chair across the street from a burning building is now the top suspect in the fire. Because, you know, if you see some naked porch monkey pointing and laughing at a fire - he probably set it.
No arrests have been made but the Miami residents who live there said something didn't seem right about the shady guy. Ha - you think?
One resident said the nude-lawn-chair-sitting man "...was on his porch butt-naked and laughing at the whole thing."
I'll agree it's pretty suspicious however, what kind of a world are we living in that a man can't sit naked in a lawn chair on his own porch, laughing at the misfortune of others, without being harassed by the police?!?
No arrests have been made but the Miami residents who live there said something didn't seem right about the shady guy. Ha - you think?
One resident said the nude-lawn-chair-sitting man "...was on his porch butt-naked and laughing at the whole thing."
I'll agree it's pretty suspicious however, what kind of a world are we living in that a man can't sit naked in a lawn chair on his own porch, laughing at the misfortune of others, without being harassed by the police?!?
MuchMusic Tries to Get Rid of Music
Ugh - stupid MuchMusic!
MuchMusic is currently only forced to play 50% music in their programming schedule but recently applied to the CRTC to get it lowered to 25% in order to play more lifestyle-centric shows.
Oh eff off - Not to sound old as shit but when I was a kid music channels played music dangnabbit! Not these newfangled reality shows...
I guess reruns of shows like Punk'd and Jackass get higher ratings for the station but come on - if I want to watch crap I'll go to Bravo and Slice for it.
The CRTC denied the application but they will likely reapply. I love me some reality TV but this is getting stupid. Just play some Rihanna and shut the Hell up.
MuchMusic is currently only forced to play 50% music in their programming schedule but recently applied to the CRTC to get it lowered to 25% in order to play more lifestyle-centric shows.
Oh eff off - Not to sound old as shit but when I was a kid music channels played music dangnabbit! Not these newfangled reality shows...
I guess reruns of shows like Punk'd and Jackass get higher ratings for the station but come on - if I want to watch crap I'll go to Bravo and Slice for it.
The CRTC denied the application but they will likely reapply. I love me some reality TV but this is getting stupid. Just play some Rihanna and shut the Hell up.
Kanye West Booed at Thanksgiving Day Parade
Yowsa!
Kanye was not welcome at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade...he was booed like a stripper at church while riding on a big stupid apple or something. How embarrassing!
They also chanted Taylor at him and you can hear some chick calling him an asshole.
For fucks sakes people - sure, he's a bit of a douche but it was only an awards show! Can't we just go back to hatin' on Chris Brown?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQNsnlj6aW0&feature=player_embedded#!
Kanye was not welcome at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade...he was booed like a stripper at church while riding on a big stupid apple or something. How embarrassing!
They also chanted Taylor at him and you can hear some chick calling him an asshole.
For fucks sakes people - sure, he's a bit of a douche but it was only an awards show! Can't we just go back to hatin' on Chris Brown?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQNsnlj6aW0&feature=player_embedded#!
The Manzo Brothers Supposedly Getting Own Show
Italian hottie Albie Manzo and his less-good-looking (but effing hilarious) brother Chris may be getting their own reality show according to the New York Post.
Bravo hasn't said anything so it's a little suspect but Andy Cohen is the master of stunt publicity in reality TV...Remember those crazy assholes who crashed the White House?
Bravo hasn't said anything so it's a little suspect but Andy Cohen is the master of stunt publicity in reality TV...Remember those crazy assholes who crashed the White House?
11.25.2010
Brody Jenner may Propose to Avril on New Year's - Barf!
X17 is reporting that love of my life Brody Jenner may propose to dirtball, poser punk Avril LaVigne on New Year's.
Noooo! Don't do it, Boo! I'm this close to getting on a plane and going to Hollywood to beat a bitch down!
The two have been together for way longer than they should be and according to his friends and his Elvis-dating mother he is head over heels. Her friends, on the other hand, think he's a famewhore who is using her because she's a star. Bitches please! I think the Hollywood superstud would be just fine without her "fame". If there's one thing Brody knows how to do it's bang his way into the limelight.
Hopefully, he comes to his senses and will ditch the bitch but as of right now the blogosphere is abuzz (and by abuzz, I mean featured on a few celebsites) with the upcoming engagement.
I have to go throw up now.
Noooo! Don't do it, Boo! I'm this close to getting on a plane and going to Hollywood to beat a bitch down!
The two have been together for way longer than they should be and according to his friends and his Elvis-dating mother he is head over heels. Her friends, on the other hand, think he's a famewhore who is using her because she's a star. Bitches please! I think the Hollywood superstud would be just fine without her "fame". If there's one thing Brody knows how to do it's bang his way into the limelight.
Hopefully, he comes to his senses and will ditch the bitch but as of right now the blogosphere is abuzz (and by abuzz, I mean featured on a few celebsites) with the upcoming engagement.
I have to go throw up now.
Dolce and Gabbana owe $1 Billion to the Tax Man!
Holy shit! Cue Dr. Evil with his pointy pinky finger $1 BILLION DOLLARS!
According to The Huffington post, the superstar Italian designers have been indicted for evading taxes to the tune of about a billion dollars. They each allegedly owe $569 million (416 Euros) to the man and could face up to 3 years in jail. That's gotta suck!
How do you say don't drop the soap in Italian?
According to The Huffington post, the superstar Italian designers have been indicted for evading taxes to the tune of about a billion dollars. They each allegedly owe $569 million (416 Euros) to the man and could face up to 3 years in jail. That's gotta suck!
How do you say don't drop the soap in Italian?
Lindsay Lohan is Freeeee!!! But Only For About 15 Hours
LiLo will be getting a day pass out of her sober living facility in Palm Springs to spend Thanksgiving with MiLo in LA. Awwww...it's nice to see that family can still be important to dysfunctional familes.
After sobering up she had made up with her crazy, fame-hungry father and things seem to be going pretty well. Recently the scumbag promised not to shoot off his big mouth to the media about her bizness and that seems to be a major factor in the reunion. It probably doesn't hurt that he gave her his Benz tocrash drive around in after she got her license back. Hopefully, she won't ram into any more trees with the luxury car.
Since he's no longer pissing her off by being all up in her Kool-Aid and blabbing about it to the media she seems happy mending ties with him.
Remember her aching pop hit Confessions of a Broken Heart? It was so fucking moving I cry like a little bitch every time I hear it. Yeah right. I hope it lasts but he's a bit of a poopyhead so who knows? Could just be another sad pop song in the making.
Somewhere Dina Lohan's head is exploding.
After sobering up she had made up with her crazy, fame-hungry father and things seem to be going pretty well. Recently the scumbag promised not to shoot off his big mouth to the media about her bizness and that seems to be a major factor in the reunion. It probably doesn't hurt that he gave her his Benz to
Since he's no longer pissing her off by being all up in her Kool-Aid and blabbing about it to the media she seems happy mending ties with him.
Remember her aching pop hit Confessions of a Broken Heart? It was so fucking moving I cry like a little bitch every time I hear it. Yeah right. I hope it lasts but he's a bit of a poopyhead so who knows? Could just be another sad pop song in the making.
Somewhere Dina Lohan's head is exploding.
11.24.2010
Barack Obama Annual Turkey Pardoning
They were scheduled to be executed, the clock was ticking down, they would soon be just two more stuffed-carcasses with delicious cranberry sauce and then it happened...
They were pardoned by the President!!!
In the annual (and totally pointless) turkey pardoning President Obama saved two turkeys, Apple and Cider, from becoming someone's dinner this morning in a boring-ass ceremony.
The turkey's were spared, Obama cracked some lame jokes, the world moved on...
They were pardoned by the President!!!
In the annual (and totally pointless) turkey pardoning President Obama saved two turkeys, Apple and Cider, from becoming someone's dinner this morning in a boring-ass ceremony.
The turkey's were spared, Obama cracked some lame jokes, the world moved on...
Random Northeastern Undergrad who Pissed Away $200K on Education Posts a Humble New Message
Kelli "pay for my education" Space has updated her page with the following message:
Hi all,
While I’m extremely grateful to everyone who’s donated, I fear I’ve misrepresented myself in one way or another, as there have been many misconceptions the past couple of days.
I never intended to pass my loans along to someone else and absolve myself of all responsibility. I also never intended to come across as a “beggar.” This website was about putting it out there that I made a mistake, letting people know the extent of the debt burden I’m under because of it — that I’m not the only one in this position — and asking for help if anyone was so inclined to give it. If not, absolutely fine. If this is what it took to address the issues of student loan practices, I’m happy to have helped get the dialogue going, as obviously I’m an extreme case.
My loans are absolutely my cross to bear alone, and I’ve been making regular payments since I began my payment plan. I never intend to default, and since I have such a small chance of declaring bankruptcy, I don’t intend to take that “easy way out” either.
I don’t believe my college years were in any way glamorous, though I do realize I chose to give myself an experience that many other people can not and will not experience for themselves. It is MY fault, and mine alone, then, that I am in this debt due to “needing” to attend Northeastern 5 years ago. My gross abuse of finances to pay for my education should not be passed along to anyone else.
I do not expect donations from anyone — how could I? There was no way for me to know the kind of response I’d receive. Those who have donated have shown their support and that has encouraged me a great deal. People have provided me with various links, causing me to look deeper into legislation on student loans; people have asked questions to understand student loan situations better; and people have shared their own related issues, and I absolutely feel for them as well. I admire those who have told me they’ve paid off their loans, or those who didn’t take out more than they could handle from the onset.
By all means, please donate to any of the many causes out there over me. I’m aware that my issue will remain an issue for some 20 years due to my own poor decision-making, and other immediate causes deserve any amount you can give. Please, do not think I expect anyone’s money, particularly over any other cause.
Thank you to everyone who has been open and honest on how they feel. I appreciate all conversation on the topic and, trust me, no one has been harder on me than myself.
Thanks again,
Kelli
At least she's a little less brazen about what she did. She has now raised $2,132.47 with this Mickey Mouse website of hers and has supposedly learned a lesson. Meh - the whole thing still irks me...but you go Glen Coco!
If you want to donate to pay my student loans please go to www.payformyshitnotyours.com.
Hi all,
While I’m extremely grateful to everyone who’s donated, I fear I’ve misrepresented myself in one way or another, as there have been many misconceptions the past couple of days.
I never intended to pass my loans along to someone else and absolve myself of all responsibility. I also never intended to come across as a “beggar.” This website was about putting it out there that I made a mistake, letting people know the extent of the debt burden I’m under because of it — that I’m not the only one in this position — and asking for help if anyone was so inclined to give it. If not, absolutely fine. If this is what it took to address the issues of student loan practices, I’m happy to have helped get the dialogue going, as obviously I’m an extreme case.
My loans are absolutely my cross to bear alone, and I’ve been making regular payments since I began my payment plan. I never intend to default, and since I have such a small chance of declaring bankruptcy, I don’t intend to take that “easy way out” either.
I don’t believe my college years were in any way glamorous, though I do realize I chose to give myself an experience that many other people can not and will not experience for themselves. It is MY fault, and mine alone, then, that I am in this debt due to “needing” to attend Northeastern 5 years ago. My gross abuse of finances to pay for my education should not be passed along to anyone else.
I do not expect donations from anyone — how could I? There was no way for me to know the kind of response I’d receive. Those who have donated have shown their support and that has encouraged me a great deal. People have provided me with various links, causing me to look deeper into legislation on student loans; people have asked questions to understand student loan situations better; and people have shared their own related issues, and I absolutely feel for them as well. I admire those who have told me they’ve paid off their loans, or those who didn’t take out more than they could handle from the onset.
By all means, please donate to any of the many causes out there over me. I’m aware that my issue will remain an issue for some 20 years due to my own poor decision-making, and other immediate causes deserve any amount you can give. Please, do not think I expect anyone’s money, particularly over any other cause.
Thank you to everyone who has been open and honest on how they feel. I appreciate all conversation on the topic and, trust me, no one has been harder on me than myself.
Thanks again,
Kelli
At least she's a little less brazen about what she did. She has now raised $2,132.47 with this Mickey Mouse website of hers and has supposedly learned a lesson. Meh - the whole thing still irks me...but you go Glen Coco!
If you want to donate to pay my student loans please go to www.payformyshitnotyours.com.
Sarah Palin’s Alaska - Episode 2
This was on last Sunday but I got all caught up watching Conviction Kitchen so I missed it. It’s not online, I assume due to an evil socialist liberal plot, so I had to wait until TLC reran it.
The episode starts off pretty slow with Sarah talking about her day to day life, yawn! After working out she takes Bristol to the shooting range where she had her first baby shower. Classy! Sarah vehemently states that she loves to “tell that story because it gets the liberals all wee-wee’d up.” What the Hell is wee-wee’d up? Some sort of Republispeak? Wikipedia didn’t seem to have an answer so I’ll move on.
Anyway, Sarah makes an underhanded comment about Bristol’s idiot baby-daddy Levi and gives a smarmy smile. She kind of sucks at shooting but manages to hit a few. Of course, Iron Man Todd is a superstar at it. Bristol sucks more than she does and doesn’t really seem into it but is being pushed by her “mama grizzly” to not give up. Bristol, in turn, tells her mom to take her prom hair back home. Zing!
The next day, the family leaves for a fishing trip in Homer - Halibut capitol of the world - she says that like it‘s the friggin‘ home of the Eiffel Tower. They drive there down-to-earth RV 263 miles to Homer where she makes a dumb “Just for the Halibut” joke.
Once in Homer they walk down to the boat. Sarah says hi to everyone she passes like she‘s still a pageant queen. Some seem impressed - others don’t respond. And one wants a picture of himself with a Palin - she goes to strike her best pose until the yokal says it’s Todd he wants a photo with. Apparently, Mr. America is a 4 time Iron Dog champ - which she says means he won a race where he had to travel 2000 miles across Alaska on a snow machine. Snow machine? WTF is a snow machine? I assume it’s a snowmobile so that’s cool. Good for him.
They check out the boat and meet the captain and are to come back the following day to kill a shitload of Halibut with him. The couple visits a fisherman memorial which is nice and compassionate and empathetic, but she still lacks any humanness there. It’s just the same smile plastered on the same face with the same voice inflection.
They head back to the RV and have a family BBQ - she takes another chance to passive aggressively bash Levi telling Bristol that the lesson of the day for her is that there’s lots of fish in the sea. (And you just know she means good bible-believing Christian fish, not dirty douchebag fish who lie and try to make her look stupid).
Back from commercial and there’s a viewer discretion all of sudden…Oh oh! Sarah and Bristol leave for a mother/daughter day and the massacre begins. (BTW - is her horny daughter Bristol her fave or what? She’s the one who always gets to go on these trips!)
After pulling up a gnarly looking starfish they start getting some halibut and they both take turns smacking the Hell out of these poor fish. They get their whack on for a while and there‘s blood everyone - the poor fish are still alive - Sarah is proud of Bristol for her whacking ability - it’s all fairly disgusting. At one point they both hold a still beating heart in their hands.
The next morning Sexy Sarah goes kayaking with Todd and says some dumb shit like that they’re in good hands because the dude taking them looks like Jesus. There’s a random lesson on a passing sea lion from Jesus and they race back to shore because Sarah’s got more mother/daughter bonding to do.
Now we find our dainty ladies at a processing plant ready to work the line. After a couple of minutes of disgusting processing on the “slime line” they head to the hopper/guillotine section to chop some muthaf^&*ing heads off! Assassin’s Creed style!!!
They take some of the fish back to camp and do some clam digging with Piper on the beach while Bristol and Willow (what’s with these names?) stay behind to do bong hits or take care of Levi Jr. or something.
12000 lbs of fish died that day. The mother/daughter day massacre of 2010 will never be forgotten. PETA and those bastard liberals will make sure of that.
The episode starts off pretty slow with Sarah talking about her day to day life, yawn! After working out she takes Bristol to the shooting range where she had her first baby shower. Classy! Sarah vehemently states that she loves to “tell that story because it gets the liberals all wee-wee’d up.” What the Hell is wee-wee’d up? Some sort of Republispeak? Wikipedia didn’t seem to have an answer so I’ll move on.
Anyway, Sarah makes an underhanded comment about Bristol’s idiot baby-daddy Levi and gives a smarmy smile. She kind of sucks at shooting but manages to hit a few. Of course, Iron Man Todd is a superstar at it. Bristol sucks more than she does and doesn’t really seem into it but is being pushed by her “mama grizzly” to not give up. Bristol, in turn, tells her mom to take her prom hair back home. Zing!
The next day, the family leaves for a fishing trip in Homer - Halibut capitol of the world - she says that like it‘s the friggin‘ home of the Eiffel Tower. They drive there down-to-earth RV 263 miles to Homer where she makes a dumb “Just for the Halibut” joke.
Once in Homer they walk down to the boat. Sarah says hi to everyone she passes like she‘s still a pageant queen. Some seem impressed - others don’t respond. And one wants a picture of himself with a Palin - she goes to strike her best pose until the yokal says it’s Todd he wants a photo with. Apparently, Mr. America is a 4 time Iron Dog champ - which she says means he won a race where he had to travel 2000 miles across Alaska on a snow machine. Snow machine? WTF is a snow machine? I assume it’s a snowmobile so that’s cool. Good for him.
They check out the boat and meet the captain and are to come back the following day to kill a shitload of Halibut with him. The couple visits a fisherman memorial which is nice and compassionate and empathetic, but she still lacks any humanness there. It’s just the same smile plastered on the same face with the same voice inflection.
They head back to the RV and have a family BBQ - she takes another chance to passive aggressively bash Levi telling Bristol that the lesson of the day for her is that there’s lots of fish in the sea. (And you just know she means good bible-believing Christian fish, not dirty douchebag fish who lie and try to make her look stupid).
Back from commercial and there’s a viewer discretion all of sudden…Oh oh! Sarah and Bristol leave for a mother/daughter day and the massacre begins. (BTW - is her horny daughter Bristol her fave or what? She’s the one who always gets to go on these trips!)
After pulling up a gnarly looking starfish they start getting some halibut and they both take turns smacking the Hell out of these poor fish. They get their whack on for a while and there‘s blood everyone - the poor fish are still alive - Sarah is proud of Bristol for her whacking ability - it’s all fairly disgusting. At one point they both hold a still beating heart in their hands.
The next morning Sexy Sarah goes kayaking with Todd and says some dumb shit like that they’re in good hands because the dude taking them looks like Jesus. There’s a random lesson on a passing sea lion from Jesus and they race back to shore because Sarah’s got more mother/daughter bonding to do.
Now we find our dainty ladies at a processing plant ready to work the line. After a couple of minutes of disgusting processing on the “slime line” they head to the hopper/guillotine section to chop some muthaf^&*ing heads off! Assassin’s Creed style!!!
They take some of the fish back to camp and do some clam digging with Piper on the beach while Bristol and Willow (what’s with these names?) stay behind to do bong hits or take care of Levi Jr. or something.
12000 lbs of fish died that day. The mother/daughter day massacre of 2010 will never be forgotten. PETA and those bastard liberals will make sure of that.
Taylor Momsen is a Jerk - Takes Hiatus From Gossip Girl
Yes it may be true, the angst-ridden, raccoon-eyed, pantsless, foul-mouthed Taylor Momsen is supposedly on a hiatus from being one of the resident biotches on Gossip Girl.
Man, I can't wait until she grows up a bit and realizes how stupid she is.
Little J would probably rather be out flashing her underage tittays while rockin' out with her band, The Pretty Reckless anyway - reports are saying she only does GG for the money and doesn't really care about the show.
Stripper shoes are pricey yo!
It is also being speculated that her rider includes having a full bar in her dressing room. What dumbass 17-year-old puts that in her rider? Right, one who wants to look like a badass. God, my eyes hurt from rolling them at her so much.
We all get it, you're a rebel - you're angry - everyone can go fuck themselves, right? Only thing we don't get is what your underage future porn star ass is rebelling against...it's so hard being rich and pretty and on a hit show...it must be agony being her! I'm surprised she can even get up in the morning.
These are what I call princess problems. So cover those boobies up and stop talking about how much you love your vibrator you dumb jerk. And put on some damn pants! I don't even care what kind of pants...blue jeans, black jeans, any jeans, fuck put on some leggings for all I care. I hear Lindsay has a line of those...
Man, I can't wait until she grows up a bit and realizes how stupid she is.
Little J would probably rather be out flashing her underage tittays while rockin' out with her band, The Pretty Reckless anyway - reports are saying she only does GG for the money and doesn't really care about the show.
Stripper shoes are pricey yo!
It is also being speculated that her rider includes having a full bar in her dressing room. What dumbass 17-year-old puts that in her rider? Right, one who wants to look like a badass. God, my eyes hurt from rolling them at her so much.
We all get it, you're a rebel - you're angry - everyone can go fuck themselves, right? Only thing we don't get is what your underage future porn star ass is rebelling against...it's so hard being rich and pretty and on a hit show...it must be agony being her! I'm surprised she can even get up in the morning.
These are what I call princess problems. So cover those boobies up and stop talking about how much you love your vibrator you dumb jerk. And put on some damn pants! I don't even care what kind of pants...blue jeans, black jeans, any jeans, fuck put on some leggings for all I care. I hear Lindsay has a line of those...
Facebook Scandal at World Famous Prep School
Is it just me or are rich kids becoming real jerkoffs?
The "scandal" is a little timid and lame to get all hot in the pants about - think the Burn Book in Mean Girls - but I imagine this is getting the amount of press it is because the school is a major big deal amongst aristocrats and rich assholes. From royalty to acting superstars it's the go-to prep school for the obscenely wealthy.
Like I said it's a little lame but I do agree that girls shouldn't call each other whores and sluts online. Come on ladies - no more chick on chick crime! Sistas hatin' sistas...tsk, tsk.
For a look at the real life Gossip Girl/Mean Girls type scandal follow the link:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-11-22/choate-rosamary-halls-facebook-scandal-cyber-bullying/?om_rid=DxZiCZ&om_mid=_BM68IUB8V0TWOa
The "scandal" is a little timid and lame to get all hot in the pants about - think the Burn Book in Mean Girls - but I imagine this is getting the amount of press it is because the school is a major big deal amongst aristocrats and rich assholes. From royalty to acting superstars it's the go-to prep school for the obscenely wealthy.
Like I said it's a little lame but I do agree that girls shouldn't call each other whores and sluts online. Come on ladies - no more chick on chick crime! Sistas hatin' sistas...tsk, tsk.
For a look at the real life Gossip Girl/Mean Girls type scandal follow the link:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-11-22/choate-rosamary-halls-facebook-scandal-cyber-bullying/?om_rid=DxZiCZ&om_mid=_BM68IUB8V0TWOa
Oxford Study Says Dogs Smarter than Cats
The eggheads up at Oxford University have nothing better to do then research dumb shit like this?
BTW, I'm pro-cat. Crazy-ass cat lady if you will, but I'm certainly not anti-dog. All animals are a-okay in my eyes really as long as they don't take a dump in my laundry basket or lick themselves while I'm eating.
I suppose I do have to agree that dogs definitely seem smarter. A commenter on a follow-up article on Jezebel.com summed it up pretty well:
When my dog looks at me intently, she's thinking: "He's putting on his shoes, which indicates he's going out and will no doubt take me for a walk, followed by a treat, so I should wag my tail to show my agreement."
When my cat looks at me intently, he's thinking: "Please collapse and die so I can eat you."
Now I'm no brainiac or anything but screw this nonsense - let's get on making some of those self-cleaning houses, Jetson's-style! Now, that's some research I can get on board with!
BTW, I'm pro-cat. Crazy-ass cat lady if you will, but I'm certainly not anti-dog. All animals are a-okay in my eyes really as long as they don't take a dump in my laundry basket or lick themselves while I'm eating.
I suppose I do have to agree that dogs definitely seem smarter. A commenter on a follow-up article on Jezebel.com summed it up pretty well:
When my dog looks at me intently, she's thinking: "He's putting on his shoes, which indicates he's going out and will no doubt take me for a walk, followed by a treat, so I should wag my tail to show my agreement."
When my cat looks at me intently, he's thinking: "Please collapse and die so I can eat you."
Now I'm no brainiac or anything but screw this nonsense - let's get on making some of those self-cleaning houses, Jetson's-style! Now, that's some research I can get on board with!
11.23.2010
Bristol Palin gets Third on DWTS Finale - No One Reported Dead...Yet
I don't know what's worse, her losing or her winning, I'm so confused! Why oh why is life so complicated?
On the one hand, you just know the tea party crazies are planning some badass revenge on the liberal, socialist bastards who are obviously to blame for this atrocity (if I were Tina Fey I'd be in hiding right now). But on the other hand the Palin haters are shooting up their TVs and having standoffs with SWAT teams.
Me? I don't really care to be honest, I only blog about the dumbass because it's just too damn easy. As news reports start to trickle in of how the forever-split Americans are going to handle this we'll see what madness ensues. Maybe nothing will happen - who the eff knows? It's so hard to tell what the Hell sets off these talcum-powder mailing fanatics, all I know is now finally we can move on to more important things - like Season 3 of Jersey Shore, booyah!
(Oh yeah and for those of you who are actually into watching the showyou should be ashamed of yourselves Jennifer Grey won.)
Turns out the age-old saying is true, NOBODY puts Baby in a corner! Not even a Levi-banging ass from Alaska and her dopey power-hungry mother.
On the one hand, you just know the tea party crazies are planning some badass revenge on the liberal, socialist bastards who are obviously to blame for this atrocity (if I were Tina Fey I'd be in hiding right now). But on the other hand the Palin haters are shooting up their TVs and having standoffs with SWAT teams.
Me? I don't really care to be honest, I only blog about the dumbass because it's just too damn easy. As news reports start to trickle in of how the forever-split Americans are going to handle this we'll see what madness ensues. Maybe nothing will happen - who the eff knows? It's so hard to tell what the Hell sets off these talcum-powder mailing fanatics, all I know is now finally we can move on to more important things - like Season 3 of Jersey Shore, booyah!
(Oh yeah and for those of you who are actually into watching the show
Turns out the age-old saying is true, NOBODY puts Baby in a corner! Not even a Levi-banging ass from Alaska and her dopey power-hungry mother.
Hell’s Kitchen Winner Didn’t get Prize - Has to Take Cash Instead
On last year’s uncharacteristically uber-boring season of Hell’s Kitchen Holli Ugalde took the grand prize, a 6-month stint working side-by-side with head chef, Andy Cook, at the Savoy Grill restaurant in London.
Problem is that she and the producers couldn’t get a work Visa to go through so she never got to go to London! Mad drama yo!
Well, doesn’t that just suck ass? She took all that abuse for nothing!
Nah, Ramsey wouldn't do that...Holli took the cash instead and now works as the signature chef at Fort Lauderdale’s B Ocean (no affiliation to the show). Reports state no reason was given for the Visa being declined.
Somewhere Chef Ramsey is swearing his British ass off and possibly calling someone a donkey.
Problem is that she and the producers couldn’t get a work Visa to go through so she never got to go to London! Mad drama yo!
Well, doesn’t that just suck ass? She took all that abuse for nothing!
Nah, Ramsey wouldn't do that...Holli took the cash instead and now works as the signature chef at Fort Lauderdale’s B Ocean (no affiliation to the show). Reports state no reason was given for the Visa being declined.
Somewhere Chef Ramsey is swearing his British ass off and possibly calling someone a donkey.
Miley Cyrus Is Legal Today
Somewhere a frat house is collectively chanting “Fresh Meat” over and over again.
Everyone’s favourite horse-faced star turned 18 today and now it is okay for her to totally get down and dirty…you know, like dancing in cages and grinding older men on dance floors and shit…oh wait, she already did that.
Happy Birthday, Boo! Try not to self-implode on us.
Everyone’s favourite horse-faced star turned 18 today and now it is okay for her to totally get down and dirty…you know, like dancing in cages and grinding older men on dance floors and shit…oh wait, she already did that.
Happy Birthday, Boo! Try not to self-implode on us.
Woman Camping Out Front of Best Buy Already for Black Friday
Okay you stupid Americans, this is a bit much.
Some crazy lady in Florida, which in my estimation houses almost every lunatic in the U.S., has already set up a tent outside a Florida Best Buy in order to be first in line for Black Friday sales.
Hello??? It's Tuesday woman! You don't have a job? A life? And where the Hell are the kids she says she has?
(For those of you who don't know what Black Friday is, it's the day that Americans trample on each other to buy crap at box stores on sale.)
She was interviewed by a local news crew and said, "We did this just for our own firstness, um, to make ourselves happy and that we accomplished something - it was a personal goal."
Whaaa? You need to get some new personal goals! Consumerism isn't a goal, it's more of a disease.
She also said some nonsense about Thanksgiving not meaning that "you just have to go to someone's house, have a traditional turkey, spend eight hours a day cooking and cleaning, enjoying the good meal and family and then cleaning up and going home and falling asleep on the couch watching football."
Yeah, who wants to do that when you can spend your time shopping for shit you don't need. Screw tradition! Shop on America, shop on!
Link is below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA0TtJPt_lQ&feature=player_embedded
Some crazy lady in Florida, which in my estimation houses almost every lunatic in the U.S., has already set up a tent outside a Florida Best Buy in order to be first in line for Black Friday sales.
Hello??? It's Tuesday woman! You don't have a job? A life? And where the Hell are the kids she says she has?
(For those of you who don't know what Black Friday is, it's the day that Americans trample on each other to buy crap at box stores on sale.)
She was interviewed by a local news crew and said, "We did this just for our own firstness, um, to make ourselves happy and that we accomplished something - it was a personal goal."
Whaaa? You need to get some new personal goals! Consumerism isn't a goal, it's more of a disease.
She also said some nonsense about Thanksgiving not meaning that "you just have to go to someone's house, have a traditional turkey, spend eight hours a day cooking and cleaning, enjoying the good meal and family and then cleaning up and going home and falling asleep on the couch watching football."
Yeah, who wants to do that when you can spend your time shopping for shit you don't need. Screw tradition! Shop on America, shop on!
Link is below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA0TtJPt_lQ&feature=player_embedded
Heidi was Obsessed with Dr. Frank Ryan - Lame!
A good friend of Dr. Frank Ryan, Dawn Daluise, has come out in an interview on Radar Online saying Heidi Montag had an “obsessive” crush on the plastic surgeon.
Dawn went on to say, “She saw him as her knight in shining armour.” Yeesh, better him than her douchebag in broke-ass armour Spencer, that guy just reeks of asshole.
She is apparently pretty pissed off that Heidi went on ET and said that the late Dr. Ryan misled her into thinking the surgeries wouldn’t be as excessive as they were and shot back with this interview accusing the star of bashing Dr. Ryan for publicity. I wouldn‘t put anything past Heidi Heidi Heidi Fame Ho. She needs money...preferably with the least amount of work possible…So she does crazy shit like this so people like me will blog about it and keep her google-worthy. Damn. Now I don’t want to post this and feed the machine. But epiphany aside…
Allegedly, Heidi kept calling the Doctor and showing up at his office uninvited trying to spark a personal relationship with him. The secret obsessive crush is also the reason she kept asking for things to be redone and complaining about her boob/nose pain to him. Dawn said Heidi began this nutso behaviour after the surgeon had already rebuked her on a personal and romantic level.
Evidently there were also a lot of texts from Heidi to Dr. Ryan, going on and on about how she wanted to look like Barbie - Exactly like Barbie! She had to look like Barbie or else she would kill everyone he loved and shit on their corpses!!! That is how much she wanted to be Barbie! Anywho, he showed the texts to many of his friends (I don’t know why he would do that but this Dawn chick seems fairly legit) and they probably all made fun of her and joked about how much she sucked.
It also just came out that she still has her panties in a knot about not being included in the Hills finale because she had been there from the beginning. Well honey, when your husband gets kicked off for threatening a producer and you allege that the creator of the show sexually harassed you they tend to not want you around too much.
I think she’s just going apeshit right now because whatever star she had is fading away and she’s in a huff about being the only original Hills girl who didn’t get her own show.
Dawn went on to say, “She saw him as her knight in shining armour.” Yeesh, better him than her douchebag in broke-ass armour Spencer, that guy just reeks of asshole.
She is apparently pretty pissed off that Heidi went on ET and said that the late Dr. Ryan misled her into thinking the surgeries wouldn’t be as excessive as they were and shot back with this interview accusing the star of bashing Dr. Ryan for publicity. I wouldn‘t put anything past Heidi Heidi Heidi Fame Ho. She needs money...preferably with the least amount of work possible…So she does crazy shit like this so people like me will blog about it and keep her google-worthy. Damn. Now I don’t want to post this and feed the machine. But epiphany aside…
Allegedly, Heidi kept calling the Doctor and showing up at his office uninvited trying to spark a personal relationship with him. The secret obsessive crush is also the reason she kept asking for things to be redone and complaining about her boob/nose pain to him. Dawn said Heidi began this nutso behaviour after the surgeon had already rebuked her on a personal and romantic level.
Evidently there were also a lot of texts from Heidi to Dr. Ryan, going on and on about how she wanted to look like Barbie - Exactly like Barbie! She had to look like Barbie or else she would kill everyone he loved and shit on their corpses!!! That is how much she wanted to be Barbie! Anywho, he showed the texts to many of his friends (I don’t know why he would do that but this Dawn chick seems fairly legit) and they probably all made fun of her and joked about how much she sucked.
It also just came out that she still has her panties in a knot about not being included in the Hills finale because she had been there from the beginning. Well honey, when your husband gets kicked off for threatening a producer and you allege that the creator of the show sexually harassed you they tend to not want you around too much.
I think she’s just going apeshit right now because whatever star she had is fading away and she’s in a huff about being the only original Hills girl who didn’t get her own show.
Mean Girls 2 - Straight to DVD Blasphemy!
Mean Girls is arguably one of the best movies made in 2004 so it makes sense, in Hollywood anyway, to capitalize and make a sequel right?
Wrong! Fail! No! Stop it! Ew!
The soon-to-not-be-watched-by-anyone Mean Girls sequel is slated to hit discount bins in 2011. This is a cinematic sin. Starring a bunch of actors you've never heard of - aside from Tim Meadows, who reprises his role as the Principal - the trailer is a big poopy mess of barf jokes and bad acting. And BTW, what is with Tim meadows being in this? Is dude homeless or what? Did he really have to stoop this low for an acting job?
I did recognize Gabby's hot, boring niece from Desperate Housewives so that's a coup I guess for the sinners putting this sucker out but other then that the best thing I can say about the trailer is that I don't have to watch it ever again...Lindsay Lohan must be rolling over in her hospital bed!
For those of you sickies who are curious the trailer link is below.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-mean-girls-2-official-trailer
Wrong! Fail! No! Stop it! Ew!
The soon-to-not-be-watched-by-anyone Mean Girls sequel is slated to hit discount bins in 2011. This is a cinematic sin. Starring a bunch of actors you've never heard of - aside from Tim Meadows, who reprises his role as the Principal - the trailer is a big poopy mess of barf jokes and bad acting. And BTW, what is with Tim meadows being in this? Is dude homeless or what? Did he really have to stoop this low for an acting job?
I did recognize Gabby's hot, boring niece from Desperate Housewives so that's a coup I guess for the sinners putting this sucker out but other then that the best thing I can say about the trailer is that I don't have to watch it ever again...Lindsay Lohan must be rolling over in her hospital bed!
For those of you sickies who are curious the trailer link is below.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-mean-girls-2-official-trailer
$200K in Student Debt? Really?
So, there's this 23-year-old jackass named Kelli Space who spent $200k attending Northeastern to get a Sociology degree. $200k!!! $200 muthaf%^cking k!!!
Her financial stupidity doesn't end there, now this dumb broad wants everyone else to help her pay for it!
With looming payments of $891 a month (to be raised to $1600 in November 2011) to one of only about six lenders, she is gonna need to work it to get those bills paid...so, what's a gal to do? Hit the internet like a hooker hits the streets! Except instead of selling her body, she's selling her sob story. To anyone who will feel bad for her.
Feel bad for her? Sheesh, I feel bad for America knowing there's people living there with the gall to pull a stunt like this. This is like donating money to someone who ran up their credit card knowing full damn well they wouldn't be able to pay it back...no one else signed those loan papers every year...she knew full well what she was doing and she crossed her fingers and did it anyway.
On her lame-ass website, twohundredthou.com, she writes, "I chose to attend a top 70 school — and why not? It had everything: prestige, great location, typical campus, every major under the sun… the full college experience."
Why not? Howsabout because you COULDN'T EFFING AFFORD IT! How's that for a reason?
It's your education and your debt, you pay it back. I have my own student loans to worry about.
Her financial stupidity doesn't end there, now this dumb broad wants everyone else to help her pay for it!
With looming payments of $891 a month (to be raised to $1600 in November 2011) to one of only about six lenders, she is gonna need to work it to get those bills paid...so, what's a gal to do? Hit the internet like a hooker hits the streets! Except instead of selling her body, she's selling her sob story. To anyone who will feel bad for her.
Feel bad for her? Sheesh, I feel bad for America knowing there's people living there with the gall to pull a stunt like this. This is like donating money to someone who ran up their credit card knowing full damn well they wouldn't be able to pay it back...no one else signed those loan papers every year...she knew full well what she was doing and she crossed her fingers and did it anyway.
On her lame-ass website, twohundredthou.com, she writes, "I chose to attend a top 70 school — and why not? It had everything: prestige, great location, typical campus, every major under the sun… the full college experience."
Why not? Howsabout because you COULDN'T EFFING AFFORD IT! How's that for a reason?
It's your education and your debt, you pay it back. I have my own student loans to worry about.
11.22.2010
Goodbye Oprah, Helloooo Jeff Lewis!
Jeff Lewis is amazing! If you don't know who he is I feel sorry for you...He's the patriarch of Flipping Out, a house flipping show on Bravo.
This guy is a trip! He's part psychopath part Martha Stewart.
Armed with an angry temper and a bane for incompetence this dude is no joke. A hate-mongering homosexual unlike anything ever seen before. He has a dope housekeeper Zoila, who humors him with her sublime cuteness, a COO named Jenny who is a non-stop riot, Trace an intern with major Jeff Lewis envy and Jett, the quiet but competent house boy he employs. Sarah Berkman also recently came on as an assistant.
His show, Flipping Out, is nothing short of spectacular and I encourage anyone who hasn't seen it to tune in at least once. He is the epitamy of entertainment, reality style, and takes no prisoners in his quest for financial gain and fame.
Well, Tori Spelling is slated to join him on a talk show in development and her, on the other hand, I can do without. A spoiled rich kid from Beverly Hills, she is an asshole to the utmost degree. Asshole squared if you will. But if I have to tolerate her in order to watch my fave gay host a talk show, I'm willing to do that...yeesh, the things I do for a laugh.
ABC is currently very interested in developing the talk show - but shows in development these days are a dime a dozen. Hopefully they just give the damn show to him, but only time will tell what will come of it.
I have to say - I'd rather watch him and Zoila make a show but whatevs...Tori, I suppose, is a name, and if it doesn't happen on ABC I could see another station gobbling it up anyway. Fingers crossed, wink, wink, watch what happens.
This guy is a trip! He's part psychopath part Martha Stewart.
Armed with an angry temper and a bane for incompetence this dude is no joke. A hate-mongering homosexual unlike anything ever seen before. He has a dope housekeeper Zoila, who humors him with her sublime cuteness, a COO named Jenny who is a non-stop riot, Trace an intern with major Jeff Lewis envy and Jett, the quiet but competent house boy he employs. Sarah Berkman also recently came on as an assistant.
His show, Flipping Out, is nothing short of spectacular and I encourage anyone who hasn't seen it to tune in at least once. He is the epitamy of entertainment, reality style, and takes no prisoners in his quest for financial gain and fame.
Well, Tori Spelling is slated to join him on a talk show in development and her, on the other hand, I can do without. A spoiled rich kid from Beverly Hills, she is an asshole to the utmost degree. Asshole squared if you will. But if I have to tolerate her in order to watch my fave gay host a talk show, I'm willing to do that...yeesh, the things I do for a laugh.
ABC is currently very interested in developing the talk show - but shows in development these days are a dime a dozen. Hopefully they just give the damn show to him, but only time will tell what will come of it.
I have to say - I'd rather watch him and Zoila make a show but whatevs...Tori, I suppose, is a name, and if it doesn't happen on ABC I could see another station gobbling it up anyway. Fingers crossed, wink, wink, watch what happens.
Heidi Montag’s Mom says Bye Bye Barbie!
Darlene Egelhoff, Heidi Montag’s non-plastic mother, has decided to stop trying to reconnect with the brainwashed Barbie and move on, focussing on her less-stupid kids Skye and Holly.
It’s sad, nay tragic, to see a mother have to give up on a kid, but sometimes it may be the best thing.
Heidi let Hollywood and Spencer get into her head and turn her into a resident dumbass so yeah, I’d say this is one of those cases.
Focussing on her failed music/acting career has become the most important thing in this bitches life along with pleasing Sven Gali Spencer and since it turns out her mother can’t further her career she’s over it. Well, now mommy is over it, while she cleans houses for a living she thinks of what may have been, a normal life with her normal kids. Sans Spencer Pratt.
Heidi's mother's blog can be found at http://www.darleneegelhoff.com/
It’s sad, nay tragic, to see a mother have to give up on a kid, but sometimes it may be the best thing.
Heidi let Hollywood and Spencer get into her head and turn her into a resident dumbass so yeah, I’d say this is one of those cases.
Focussing on her failed music/acting career has become the most important thing in this bitches life along with pleasing Sven Gali Spencer and since it turns out her mother can’t further her career she’s over it. Well, now mommy is over it, while she cleans houses for a living she thinks of what may have been, a normal life with her normal kids. Sans Spencer Pratt.
Heidi's mother's blog can be found at http://www.darleneegelhoff.com/
Debt Collector Uses Facebook to Collect
Florida resident Melanie Beacham owed $362 in car payments to her debtee so MarkOne Financial LLC assassins collectors were called into action to get the money kamikaze-style, by doing anything they possibly could to find her.
I have worked in debt collections for one of the biggest banks in the world, and let me tell you, it ain’t pretty! They use their employees as snipers and tell them to do the shadiest things they can to get that money. I had been told to lie, harass, stalk and shame people into paying their debts. I get that it is usually their fault that they pissed away money they didn’t have on crap they didn’t need but never did I think it would be necessary to lie and harass someone as a job - I left after six months after seeing two collectors in back line (the absolute last line of defense before the bank has to write off the debt) tell a man’s daughter - very young daughter I may add - on the phone that they were going to break her father’s legs if he didn’t call them back immediately. It was the grossest side of the human condition I had ever seen…shudder…sometimes; I still have nightmares about it!
After Melanie didn’t pay her debt and apparently their 10 calls a day didn’t work, they decided to go online and find her relatives on facebook, using them to get to her…Jesus Christ! Like a freakin’ spy thriller straight out of Hollyweird.
They simply sent (what the bank I worked at used to call) “cover your ass messages” which means you leave a telephone number and no info so when the customer/fucked debtor tries to sue it’s extremely hard to prove as harassment.
“Please have Melanie C Beacham call me. 904-899-8378. Thanks.”
Regardless, this has sparked a lawsuit by Beacham claiming that “MarkOne intentionally harassed and abused the Plaintiff in outrageous format.” But we’ll see what happens; these collectors are trained to harass people without being sued for harassment. Hell, when I worked at the bank - we had a Goddamn seminar on it.
I have worked in debt collections for one of the biggest banks in the world, and let me tell you, it ain’t pretty! They use their employees as snipers and tell them to do the shadiest things they can to get that money. I had been told to lie, harass, stalk and shame people into paying their debts. I get that it is usually their fault that they pissed away money they didn’t have on crap they didn’t need but never did I think it would be necessary to lie and harass someone as a job - I left after six months after seeing two collectors in back line (the absolute last line of defense before the bank has to write off the debt) tell a man’s daughter - very young daughter I may add - on the phone that they were going to break her father’s legs if he didn’t call them back immediately. It was the grossest side of the human condition I had ever seen…shudder…sometimes; I still have nightmares about it!
After Melanie didn’t pay her debt and apparently their 10 calls a day didn’t work, they decided to go online and find her relatives on facebook, using them to get to her…Jesus Christ! Like a freakin’ spy thriller straight out of Hollyweird.
They simply sent (what the bank I worked at used to call) “cover your ass messages” which means you leave a telephone number and no info so when the customer/fucked debtor tries to sue it’s extremely hard to prove as harassment.
“Please have Melanie C Beacham call me. 904-899-8378. Thanks.”
Regardless, this has sparked a lawsuit by Beacham claiming that “MarkOne intentionally harassed and abused the Plaintiff in outrageous format.” But we’ll see what happens; these collectors are trained to harass people without being sued for harassment. Hell, when I worked at the bank - we had a Goddamn seminar on it.
11.20.2010
No Inferno for Lindsay
After waiting like a docile little puppy for Lindsay Lohan to escape from her own madness, the director of Inferno - the Linda Lovelace biopic - has reportedly moved on to an actress who won’t cost gazillions of dollars to insure and relapse as soon as she gets a night off.
Even after Lindsay failed numerous drug tests, sending her to rehab for the umpteenth time, the director had vowed to stick by her and wait as long as it took. Well, it turns out it took too damn long because they have dropped thetrain wreck actress and are in talks with another wacktress who is dying to play a porn star.
Probably for the best, her last foray into on-screen whoredom bore I Know Who Killed Me which may or may not be one of the worst movies ever made…like Silence of the Lambs my ass! Has she even seen Silence of the Lambs? Because I am not only horrified I watched that hunk of junk, but shit! I am a little offended!
Even after Lindsay failed numerous drug tests, sending her to rehab for the umpteenth time, the director had vowed to stick by her and wait as long as it took. Well, it turns out it took too damn long because they have dropped the
Probably for the best, her last foray into on-screen whoredom bore I Know Who Killed Me which may or may not be one of the worst movies ever made…like Silence of the Lambs my ass! Has she even seen Silence of the Lambs? Because I am not only horrified I watched that hunk of junk, but shit! I am a little offended!
Paris Hilton Starts Community Service
She is not exactly the smartest cokehead in the cokehead jar so when Paris got busted again last August for cocaine possession it wasn’t exactly a shock. She tried the good old “it’s not mine” defence before admitting it was in a September trial and was punished with 200 hours of community service and a $2000 fine…she pisses 2000 bucks so hopefully the community service takes a toll on her.
She was spotted with the Hollywood Beautification Team to paint over the gang graffiti on the buildings. She wore their standard yellow shirt but accessorized it with black skinny pants and matching black heels because she is mildly retarded.
Pfft - is it weird these losers show up to do community service in heels? Don’t they realize that they’re going to be getting down and dirty? It’s not a club sweetie, it’s punishment…but hey, they’re your huge privileged feet that’ll get blisters not mine.
She was spotted with the Hollywood Beautification Team to paint over the gang graffiti on the buildings. She wore their standard yellow shirt but accessorized it with black skinny pants and matching black heels because she is mildly retarded.
Pfft - is it weird these losers show up to do community service in heels? Don’t they realize that they’re going to be getting down and dirty? It’s not a club sweetie, it’s punishment…but hey, they’re your huge privileged feet that’ll get blisters not mine.
Dawson Leery and Zack Morris - I Just Had a 90s Wet Dream
Oh, Dawson, you sensitive man stud from the creek! It’s about time you met a Mister Zack Morris!
Franklin and Bash, Zack Morris’ new show on TNT, will play host to the meeting of the 90s superstar actors with Dawson playing Zack’s ex’s new fiancé who needs legal help after his bachelor party goes wrong.
And oh yeah, Breckin Meyer, the stoner from Clueless will complete the trifecta of old school awesomeness. And the world makes sense again...
Franklin and Bash, Zack Morris’ new show on TNT, will play host to the meeting of the 90s superstar actors with Dawson playing Zack’s ex’s new fiancé who needs legal help after his bachelor party goes wrong.
And oh yeah, Breckin Meyer, the stoner from Clueless will complete the trifecta of old school awesomeness. And the world makes sense again...
Rihanna Explains What Happened with Drake and Her - No One Cares
When Chris Brown, who I would love to kick in the balls, beat the Hell out of Rihanna I thought damn! This chick is gonna have mad issues about men, but shortly after she was spotted with hot commodity of the moment Drake.
They briefly dated (very briefly) and afterwards unibrow Drake said he felt he was “played“ by the superhot singer. I gotta say there are worse things in the world than being played by one of the hottest chicks on the planet but I digress.
She simply stated, “It was what it was…I just didn’t want to get to serious about anything or anyone at the time.”
Phew! Now we can all move on with our lives.
They briefly dated (very briefly) and afterwards unibrow Drake said he felt he was “played“ by the superhot singer. I gotta say there are worse things in the world than being played by one of the hottest chicks on the planet but I digress.
She simply stated, “It was what it was…I just didn’t want to get to serious about anything or anyone at the time.”
Phew! Now we can all move on with our lives.
White Powder Mailed to DWTS Set
Ahhhh! What could it be? Anthrax??? Some sort or nefarious chemical meant to kill Bristol? What is it??? WHAT IS IT???
Before we all panic, after a white powder substance was mailed in to the DWTS studio and part of the building had to be evacuated, the coppers were very relieved to announce that is was…
Talcum powder! That‘s hilarious! Turns out some random dbag sent some talcum powder to the studio for God knows what reason…This drama is out of control…if Americans spent half as much time on their flawed politricks as they did hooting and hollering over reality television, by now they’d run the whole damn world.
Before we all panic, after a white powder substance was mailed in to the DWTS studio and part of the building had to be evacuated, the coppers were very relieved to announce that is was…
Talcum powder! That‘s hilarious! Turns out some random dbag sent some talcum powder to the studio for God knows what reason…This drama is out of control…if Americans spent half as much time on their flawed politricks as they did hooting and hollering over reality television, by now they’d run the whole damn world.
Russell Brand on Larry King Live
Russell Brand was his usual batty British self on last night's Larry King Live. He talked candidly about drugs, sex and Katy Perry.
A couple of clips below.
http://larrykinglive.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/19/russell-brand-talks-katy-perry-addiction/
The full transcript is below.
https://acrobat.com/#d=7HU0xtc6ILfSQulz7JcIQg
A couple of clips below.
http://larrykinglive.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/19/russell-brand-talks-katy-perry-addiction/
The full transcript is below.
https://acrobat.com/#d=7HU0xtc6ILfSQulz7JcIQg
11.19.2010
The Real Housewives of New York - The Second Coming...
Being as I’m totally obsessed with The Real Housewives of the OC when they created a spin-off of sorts to New York, I was in. Sign my ass up! All I needed to know is when and what channel?
They’re already done the 3rd season of this beast so we’ll have to start there.
God bless Andy Cohen! He found six women just as watchable as the others…where did he get them? Who knows? Who cares? Bring on the bitches!
First we have self-proclaimed Queen Bee, Jill Zarin. According to her she knows absolutely everyone in New York and for some reason this validates her to no end. She’s married to Bobby - which she pronounces as Bawbi - and has one daughter Allyson from a previous marriage. She spends her days tormenting the other women while pretending to be nice and spending Bawbi’s fabric store fortune like a spoiled teenager. Season 3 started with her at housewife war with Bethenny, the younger, prettier one she was formerly BFFs with. She uses her fakeness to sucker the Countess into the role of partner in crime and together they try todestroy the Universe! get everyone to take sides.
The Countess, LuAnn DeLesseps, (what kind of name is LuAnn for a countess? Whenever I think of the name LuAnn I think of King of the Hill), is an uppity broad who married a Count obviously and lived with him in a badass townhouse on the Upper East Side for the first couple of seasons. Season 3 found her alone and looking for an apartment after his nobleness allegedly banged an Ethiopian Princess and divorced her. They had two kids together, Noel and Victoria, who seem like a more level-headed version of these Real Housewives brats but who knows? Editing can be a gift or a nightmare. She constantly refers to her meaningless nobility and now is recording music a la Kim Zolciak. She had a fabulous Filipino maid, Rosie, who since the divorce has been AWOL as they had to move to the Hamptons where she could not easily commute to.
Bethenny Frankel (Hoppy now), was the token single non-housewife but season 3 marked her last season on the show as she was the only housewife in history (aside from Jo and Slade’s shit show - Date my Ex) to get her own spin-off. She’s a tough talking New York businesswoman looking for love and building a brand of booze, books and baked goods. She’s a little annoying, but funny at times, and though not my personal favorite she is definitely the only one with enough personality to deserve her own show, Bethenny Getting Married?. This, coupled with some teenybopper voice message where she told Jill to “Get a hobby” drove Jill Zarin batty and word is, she tried to get the other ladies to stop filming with her to fuck her over. Ultimately, it led to chaos and all out housewife war with the ladies picking sides and Bethenny leaving for good. Jill has since gone from one of the viewer’s faves to perhaps the most hated.
Alex McCord, the one who pretends to be rich, is an interesting one. After a few seasons of sitting back and taking abuse from the others, season 3 pretty much made her snap! She started the season low-key as usual but soon joined in their reindeer games and was making a spectacle of herself along with the rest of them…usually in public. She married a gay guy Simon Van Kempen, and together they make Silex! A gnarly social-climbing transformer who thinks the most important things in life are money and proximity to socialites. Simon used to run the Hotel Chandler but is now running a media company in the hotel sector. They have two bratty little kids with pompous names, Johan and Francois and these little buggers take misbehaving to a new level…causing chaos wherever they go. They’ve thus far, stabbed a guy’s gourmet burger in a hoity-toity restaurant, pulled fabrics off the wall at Zarin fabric and climbed up some dude’s leg in the Hamptons. Alex and Simon seem to ignore and almost condone the behaviour, or at least pretend it doesn’t exist. By taking Bethenny’s side in the war of the idiots-with-too-much-time-on-their-hands, she crossed Jill Zarin which is like crossing Sonny Corleone. I expect major fireworks here next season.
Ramona Singer aka Rameana aka The Ramonacoaster aka Crazy-Eyes is another businesswoman who has an impressive surplus clothing company she started on her own about 22 years ago. She is all sorts of nuts rivalling Jill Zarin as the resident bitch. She is married to Mario Singer, a jewellery maven and owner of True Faith Jewellery and has one daughter, Avery, who she tried (briefly) to turn into the next Lindsay Lohan. She uses her crazy eyes to antagonize the other ladies and start all sorts of shit but she manages to stay out of the main line of fire usually. She also, as the other ladies do, hocks a bunch of other products that I need not mention.
Kelly “CrazyAss” Bensimmon is not an original housewife. She was married to Gilles Bensimmon which is like marrying Mr. Big so kudos to her for marrying well but other then that holy shitballz woman! Get thee to a shrink ASAP! She joined the mix in the second season and I don’t even know what to say about her…she went nuts, the other housewives mocked her, enough said.
Sonja Morgan is the newest one. She is a welcome addition if only for the fact that she screwed Kelly’s former boytoy/fake boyfriend Maximillion and throws it in her crazy face repeatedly. She was married for about 10 years to John Morgan, the great grandson of J.P Morgan which means holy moneybags! But in recent news she has had to file for bankruptcy due to her divorce and a 7 million dollar lawsuit she lost. So, I guess she’s got about as much money as Alex now…how embarrassing.
I’ll be updating as new episodes from the next season come in.
They’re already done the 3rd season of this beast so we’ll have to start there.
God bless Andy Cohen! He found six women just as watchable as the others…where did he get them? Who knows? Who cares? Bring on the bitches!
First we have self-proclaimed Queen Bee, Jill Zarin. According to her she knows absolutely everyone in New York and for some reason this validates her to no end. She’s married to Bobby - which she pronounces as Bawbi - and has one daughter Allyson from a previous marriage. She spends her days tormenting the other women while pretending to be nice and spending Bawbi’s fabric store fortune like a spoiled teenager. Season 3 started with her at housewife war with Bethenny, the younger, prettier one she was formerly BFFs with. She uses her fakeness to sucker the Countess into the role of partner in crime and together they try to
The Countess, LuAnn DeLesseps, (what kind of name is LuAnn for a countess? Whenever I think of the name LuAnn I think of King of the Hill), is an uppity broad who married a Count obviously and lived with him in a badass townhouse on the Upper East Side for the first couple of seasons. Season 3 found her alone and looking for an apartment after his nobleness allegedly banged an Ethiopian Princess and divorced her. They had two kids together, Noel and Victoria, who seem like a more level-headed version of these Real Housewives brats but who knows? Editing can be a gift or a nightmare. She constantly refers to her meaningless nobility and now is recording music a la Kim Zolciak. She had a fabulous Filipino maid, Rosie, who since the divorce has been AWOL as they had to move to the Hamptons where she could not easily commute to.
Bethenny Frankel (Hoppy now), was the token single non-housewife but season 3 marked her last season on the show as she was the only housewife in history (aside from Jo and Slade’s shit show - Date my Ex) to get her own spin-off. She’s a tough talking New York businesswoman looking for love and building a brand of booze, books and baked goods. She’s a little annoying, but funny at times, and though not my personal favorite she is definitely the only one with enough personality to deserve her own show, Bethenny Getting Married?. This, coupled with some teenybopper voice message where she told Jill to “Get a hobby” drove Jill Zarin batty and word is, she tried to get the other ladies to stop filming with her to fuck her over. Ultimately, it led to chaos and all out housewife war with the ladies picking sides and Bethenny leaving for good. Jill has since gone from one of the viewer’s faves to perhaps the most hated.
Alex McCord, the one who pretends to be rich, is an interesting one. After a few seasons of sitting back and taking abuse from the others, season 3 pretty much made her snap! She started the season low-key as usual but soon joined in their reindeer games and was making a spectacle of herself along with the rest of them…usually in public. She married a gay guy Simon Van Kempen, and together they make Silex! A gnarly social-climbing transformer who thinks the most important things in life are money and proximity to socialites. Simon used to run the Hotel Chandler but is now running a media company in the hotel sector. They have two bratty little kids with pompous names, Johan and Francois and these little buggers take misbehaving to a new level…causing chaos wherever they go. They’ve thus far, stabbed a guy’s gourmet burger in a hoity-toity restaurant, pulled fabrics off the wall at Zarin fabric and climbed up some dude’s leg in the Hamptons. Alex and Simon seem to ignore and almost condone the behaviour, or at least pretend it doesn’t exist. By taking Bethenny’s side in the war of the idiots-with-too-much-time-on-their-hands, she crossed Jill Zarin which is like crossing Sonny Corleone. I expect major fireworks here next season.
Ramona Singer aka Rameana aka The Ramonacoaster aka Crazy-Eyes is another businesswoman who has an impressive surplus clothing company she started on her own about 22 years ago. She is all sorts of nuts rivalling Jill Zarin as the resident bitch. She is married to Mario Singer, a jewellery maven and owner of True Faith Jewellery and has one daughter, Avery, who she tried (briefly) to turn into the next Lindsay Lohan. She uses her crazy eyes to antagonize the other ladies and start all sorts of shit but she manages to stay out of the main line of fire usually. She also, as the other ladies do, hocks a bunch of other products that I need not mention.
Kelly “CrazyAss” Bensimmon is not an original housewife. She was married to Gilles Bensimmon which is like marrying Mr. Big so kudos to her for marrying well but other then that holy shitballz woman! Get thee to a shrink ASAP! She joined the mix in the second season and I don’t even know what to say about her…she went nuts, the other housewives mocked her, enough said.
Sonja Morgan is the newest one. She is a welcome addition if only for the fact that she screwed Kelly’s former boytoy/fake boyfriend Maximillion and throws it in her crazy face repeatedly. She was married for about 10 years to John Morgan, the great grandson of J.P Morgan which means holy moneybags! But in recent news she has had to file for bankruptcy due to her divorce and a 7 million dollar lawsuit she lost. So, I guess she’s got about as much money as Alex now…how embarrassing.
I’ll be updating as new episodes from the next season come in.
Brit Brit to do Another Reality Show
I used to hate Britney, she was a stupid pop princess cut from the same cloth as every other one. But then she went nutso and suddenly she was accessible, likable even, to a sick jerk like me.
I may mouth off about celebrities at every given chance but I do not wish any harm to anyone ever. Especially if they're sick. Britney is sick, and she's getting better, that's pretty rad.
I watched "Chaotic", the reality show she shot with that douchebag K-Fat, and it was not too bad contrary to popular opinion, it wasn't good by any means, but it didn't make me want to gouge my eyes out or anything. And the special that came out after she started getting help, "For the Record" was quite good. She came off pretty well for a crazy girl who had since shot her career in the ass by running around town with Adnan and wearing a pink wig while channeling Stewie Griffin.
Supposedly, she is now in talks (which means nothing in Hollywood really but I'm gonna run with it because, with the stupid royal engagement of Prince William dominating, it's a slow celeb-news day) to create and star in a new reality show. We'll see if it comes to fruition, but if it does I'm gonna be all over it like Lindsay on a lesbian coke dealer! Her fishbowl is an interesting one to peek into and good or bad, this bitch was born to entertain!
I may mouth off about celebrities at every given chance but I do not wish any harm to anyone ever. Especially if they're sick. Britney is sick, and she's getting better, that's pretty rad.
I watched "Chaotic", the reality show she shot with that douchebag K-Fat, and it was not too bad contrary to popular opinion, it wasn't good by any means, but it didn't make me want to gouge my eyes out or anything. And the special that came out after she started getting help, "For the Record" was quite good. She came off pretty well for a crazy girl who had since shot her career in the ass by running around town with Adnan and wearing a pink wig while channeling Stewie Griffin.
Supposedly, she is now in talks (which means nothing in Hollywood really but I'm gonna run with it because, with the stupid royal engagement of Prince William dominating, it's a slow celeb-news day) to create and star in a new reality show. We'll see if it comes to fruition, but if it does I'm gonna be all over it like Lindsay on a lesbian coke dealer! Her fishbowl is an interesting one to peek into and good or bad, this bitch was born to entertain!
Heidi Montag Regrets Plastic Surgery
Well duh, dumbass!
Heidi had previously come out and said her gross, monster boobs were a mistake because she felt like they were hindering things in her life (you know, like playing with her stupid puppies and being brainwashed by Spencer Pratt), but now she says she regrets them all. All freakin' 10 of them.
Posted on Perezhilton.com Heidi said:
Heidi had previously come out and said her gross, monster boobs were a mistake because she felt like they were hindering things in her life (you know, like playing with her stupid puppies and being brainwashed by Spencer Pratt), but now she says she regrets them all. All freakin' 10 of them.
Posted on Perezhilton.com Heidi said:
George Bush on Leno
Love him or hate him the man is funny as Hell! Last night on a Leno appearance he was quite entertaining.
I am a pretty liberal-minded person so George W. isn't exactly my favorite former President, but as adrinking buddy man this guy rules. Policies aside, George tells a mean joke and if he hadn't quit drinking ages ago, I would so get my buzz on with him! Below is a link to the segment (hit next on the page for the video).
http://blog.snapler.com/2010/11/19/bush-on-leno-george-w-bush-jokes-about-exit-strategy-drinking-video/
I am a pretty liberal-minded person so George W. isn't exactly my favorite former President, but as a
http://blog.snapler.com/2010/11/19/bush-on-leno-george-w-bush-jokes-about-exit-strategy-drinking-video/
11.18.2010
Amber Portwood Going to Jail
The psychotic teen mom, made famous for beating the Hell out of that poor bastard Gary has been charged with 2 felonies. Yep, felonies!
Yowsa! A warrant will supposedly be issued and her crazy ass could do up to 3 years with fines up to $10, 000 for the crime.
There are also new pictures of the 20-year old boozing it up at a party surfacing online. This one’s a real classy broad! I say, send her ass to jail. At the very least to show teens that being 16 and pregnant is not the best way to fame and fortune...
Yowsa! A warrant will supposedly be issued and her crazy ass could do up to 3 years with fines up to $10, 000 for the crime.
There are also new pictures of the 20-year old boozing it up at a party surfacing online. This one’s a real classy broad! I say, send her ass to jail. At the very least to show teens that being 16 and pregnant is not the best way to fame and fortune...
Rachel Zoe is Pregnant
Rachel Zoe is knocked up! Ba-na-nas!
The super skinny stylist finally confirmed, via Twitter no less, that she let her gay husband impregnate her.
I don’t watch her show anymore because let’s face it since that asshole Taylor left it’s a bit of a snooze fest. Yawn!
Congrats on the new baby boy! And oh yeah, eat something! Babies like food.
Image Via www.thehollywoodhotspot.com
Steven Slater - Bad as Ever!
Remember Steven Slater? That crazy mofo who famously, maybe infamously, quit his job at JetBlue by telling off the airplane passengers, grabbing a few nearby beers and deploying the evacuation slide! It was totally badass! Like when Scarface quits in Half-Baked.
Now, a little over 3 months later, we have moved on…in this fast-paced world of celebrity scandal and political incompetence how could we not? We had the end of Jersey Shore to move on to!
Well, he’s back bitches! In the form of rap of course.
Now hawking the new Line2 app by Toktumi, he has hit the internet with a vengeance! Check out the video link below for a chuckle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oDFBj8UxpU
He’s no Jay Z, and the video looks like one of Heidi Montag’s less than stellar offerings, but hey, get as much out of those 15 minutes as you can, boo! Clock’s ticking…
Now, a little over 3 months later, we have moved on…in this fast-paced world of celebrity scandal and political incompetence how could we not? We had the end of Jersey Shore to move on to!
Well, he’s back bitches! In the form of rap of course.
Now hawking the new Line2 app by Toktumi, he has hit the internet with a vengeance! Check out the video link below for a chuckle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oDFBj8UxpU
He’s no Jay Z, and the video looks like one of Heidi Montag’s less than stellar offerings, but hey, get as much out of those 15 minutes as you can, boo! Clock’s ticking…
Homophobic Bristol Palin Booed for Beating Brandy - Man shoots TV in Anger
Here we go again...I didn't want to mention this fame ho more then I had to but she is just begging to be mocked now.
Bristol beat Brandy out for a spot in the finals, to a cavalcade of Boos no less, and the world collectively shook it's head in shock. Okay, so first off calm down people! It's an effing dancing show and, in my opinion, a super craptastic one at that.
What I find more interesting are the recent behind the scenes blunders of this "star".
Turns out she and her little sister Willow went on a tirade against someone who thought their mother's reality show sucked ass and called him "gay" in a majorly derogative way as well as a "faggot" which has become one of the dirtiest words you can call someone. Shit, people are getting fired/retiring nowadays for saying it. The power of the word is undeniable and to have the balls to put it out there on facebook is quite nasty.
They have since apologized but the damage is done - it's on the internet! THE INTERNET!!!
In other Bristol news, a man in Wisconsin shot his TV in a rage over her advancement to the finals. His rage against the machine wasn't the worst of his problems, turns out the crazy guy (sloshed out of his tree) then went on to have an all night standoff with the SWAT team! Yikes.
Just another life ruined by the Palins...when will the madness end!
Bristol beat Brandy out for a spot in the finals, to a cavalcade of Boos no less, and the world collectively shook it's head in shock. Okay, so first off calm down people! It's an effing dancing show and, in my opinion, a super craptastic one at that.
What I find more interesting are the recent behind the scenes blunders of this "star".
Turns out she and her little sister Willow went on a tirade against someone who thought their mother's reality show sucked ass and called him "gay" in a majorly derogative way as well as a "faggot" which has become one of the dirtiest words you can call someone. Shit, people are getting fired/retiring nowadays for saying it. The power of the word is undeniable and to have the balls to put it out there on facebook is quite nasty.
They have since apologized but the damage is done - it's on the internet! THE INTERNET!!!
In other Bristol news, a man in Wisconsin shot his TV in a rage over her advancement to the finals. His rage against the machine wasn't the worst of his problems, turns out the crazy guy (sloshed out of his tree) then went on to have an all night standoff with the SWAT team! Yikes.
Just another life ruined by the Palins...when will the madness end!
11.17.2010
Woman Kills Baby For Messin' With Her Farmville Session
What the Hell is wrong with people in Florida? And who is this into Farmville??? Feed your stupid crops later you dumb bitch!
http://kotaku.com/5675176/woman-kills-baby-for-interrupting-farmville-session
http://kotaku.com/5675176/woman-kills-baby-for-interrupting-farmville-session
Celebrity Rehab 4
December 5th marks the premiere of Celebrity Rehab season 4 - in Canada anyway - and as someone who used to think this show was a gross exploitation of the user celebrities who take part, I must admit, last year they hooked me.
The pseudo-celebs they had on season 3 had a few real ones mixed in and that is the only reason I started watching it - also for some unknown and possibly sick reason I feel an inexplicable attraction for Dr. Drew. He’s sexy in a doctor-with-an-attitude kind of way, I‘d definitely hit that…but I digress.
I watched season 3 because Tom Sizemore was on it and I’m a huge fan of his. I’m also for some reason super fascinated with the Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss - I highly recommend watching a doc or two about her - though a little hokey she is one interesting (and super smart) lady! Throw them together in this house with sexy Dr. Drew and I was in. Didn’t hurt either that Dennis “Hung like a Horse” Rodman was skulking around behind all the Heidi/Tom drama writhing in denial and a little self-loathing.
Tom Sizemore and Heidi Fleiss did set off a firestorm of tragic love/hate during the rehabilitation and were surprisingly candid, he brought me to tears twice…and I certainly didn’t expect that.
Season 4 should be a shit show as well but there are no real celebs here. The cast includes Laguna Beach douchebag Jason Wahler, Tiger Wood’s #1 ho Rachel Uchitel, socialite train-wreck Jason “Gummi Bear” Davis and the self-proclaimed world’s first supermodel Miss Janice Dickinson. There are a few others like Jeremy London (Griffin from Party of Five), Leif Garrett (who I only know from Dickie Roberts and touring with The Melvins but was apparently the Justin Bieber of the 70s) and Julia Robert’s brother who we’ll just call Julia Robert’s brother because I don‘t really care about him. There are two more no-names that are just filling out the cast, taking up space.
Because the upcoming season has no one that can be considered a star, at one point it was going to be cancelled due to lack of interest. For a Hollywood millisecond Lindsay Lohan’s name was thrown into the mix, I assume to create hype because bitch please! Even though she hasn’t made a movie since 2007 - she hasn’t fallen so far she needs Dr. Drew all up in her bizness to make a buck.
I also recall someone throwing out the name Tila Tequila, but thank God that didn’t happen, she took her Shot at Love (probably right in the face) on reality TV already and now we are done with that crazy hobag…moving on.
So, tune in for this goat rodeo - even if you didn’t like the others, I didn’t either - it’s a rare peek into the lives of addicts in Hollywood.
The pseudo-celebs they had on season 3 had a few real ones mixed in and that is the only reason I started watching it - also for some unknown and possibly sick reason I feel an inexplicable attraction for Dr. Drew. He’s sexy in a doctor-with-an-attitude kind of way, I‘d definitely hit that…but I digress.
I watched season 3 because Tom Sizemore was on it and I’m a huge fan of his. I’m also for some reason super fascinated with the Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss - I highly recommend watching a doc or two about her - though a little hokey she is one interesting (and super smart) lady! Throw them together in this house with sexy Dr. Drew and I was in. Didn’t hurt either that Dennis “Hung like a Horse” Rodman was skulking around behind all the Heidi/Tom drama writhing in denial and a little self-loathing.
Tom Sizemore and Heidi Fleiss did set off a firestorm of tragic love/hate during the rehabilitation and were surprisingly candid, he brought me to tears twice…and I certainly didn’t expect that.
Season 4 should be a shit show as well but there are no real celebs here. The cast includes Laguna Beach douchebag Jason Wahler, Tiger Wood’s #1 ho Rachel Uchitel, socialite train-wreck Jason “Gummi Bear” Davis and the self-proclaimed world’s first supermodel Miss Janice Dickinson. There are a few others like Jeremy London (Griffin from Party of Five), Leif Garrett (who I only know from Dickie Roberts and touring with The Melvins but was apparently the Justin Bieber of the 70s) and Julia Robert’s brother who we’ll just call Julia Robert’s brother because I don‘t really care about him. There are two more no-names that are just filling out the cast, taking up space.
Because the upcoming season has no one that can be considered a star, at one point it was going to be cancelled due to lack of interest. For a Hollywood millisecond Lindsay Lohan’s name was thrown into the mix, I assume to create hype because bitch please! Even though she hasn’t made a movie since 2007 - she hasn’t fallen so far she needs Dr. Drew all up in her bizness to make a buck.
I also recall someone throwing out the name Tila Tequila, but thank God that didn’t happen, she took her Shot at Love (probably right in the face) on reality TV already and now we are done with that crazy hobag…moving on.
So, tune in for this goat rodeo - even if you didn’t like the others, I didn’t either - it’s a rare peek into the lives of addicts in Hollywood.
11.16.2010
Cheating Conservatives Voting Bristol All the Way to the End
I knew it! Those crazy Palin-loving conservatives are skewing the votes on DWTS so that their faux-famous baby mama Bristol can take home the stupid, meaningless Disco Ball Trophy!
Gawker.com has trolled the blogs and Twitter to find evidence of some - ahem - foul play amongst DWTS voting. Whaaa? Is that really necessary? These jerks have way to much free time on their hands!
The following excerpts are just a few of many, and I mean MANY, incidents of conservatives posting how they are trying to rig voting for America’s favorite single mother:
"Got my 80 votes in online…took 2 hours. I am beat!"
Wowsa! Not since Kate Gosselin was called an unfit mother for dancing the night away while her kids sat at home with nannies and her useless Ed Hardy swaddled ex and Michael Bolton threw a hissy fit about the judges being mean to him have we had so much controversy on this show! Seems like politricks as usual with these fools…if you can’t beat them cheat your ass off, if that doesn’t work you can always scare them into thinking there are weapons of mass destruction in the trophy that will only go off if Bristol doesn’t win.
Gawker.com has trolled the blogs and Twitter to find evidence of some - ahem - foul play amongst DWTS voting. Whaaa? Is that really necessary? These jerks have way to much free time on their hands!
The following excerpts are just a few of many, and I mean MANY, incidents of conservatives posting how they are trying to rig voting for America’s favorite single mother:
"Got my 80 votes in online…took 2 hours. I am beat!"
Wowsa! Not since Kate Gosselin was called an unfit mother for dancing the night away while her kids sat at home with nannies and her useless Ed Hardy swaddled ex and Michael Bolton threw a hissy fit about the judges being mean to him have we had so much controversy on this show! Seems like politricks as usual with these fools…if you can’t beat them cheat your ass off, if that doesn’t work you can always scare them into thinking there are weapons of mass destruction in the trophy that will only go off if Bristol doesn’t win.
Jerry Seinfeld Clip from Conan O'Brien
Leave it to Jerry to call out all the hipster fucks who have no Blackberry etiquette...also a funny crack at the end about IPhones.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYDA7__znfY&feature=player_embedded
Gold, Jerry! Gold!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYDA7__znfY&feature=player_embedded
Gold, Jerry! Gold!
Lady Gaga to Finally Drop Some New Damn Music
The age of Gaga is upon us and though I can't stand her thinly-veiled fame-whore antics I realize that many are drooling over this shit dropping like it's going to be the next Thriller.
After waiting an uncharacteristically long two years to drop a sophomore album, "Born This Way" hits next year and will no doubt sell gazillions of copies in it's first hours...this is the type of album slobbering beasts sleep outside stores for because they want to be the hipster idiot to say they bought it first.
I wouldn't mind her as much if it weren't for the fact that I feel she insults the intelligence of music fans, real music fans, which are typically not pop music fans as it were. Sure, I can get down to a good pop song with the best of them and even like Paparazzi quite a bit, but the show of it all, the imagery she's created in the vain of being different, is annoying the crap out of me.
RedOne, a good friend of hers and her producer, said in an interview:
"To be honest with you, I think that this album that she's making is too precious to talk about. When it comes out you'll hear and you'll make your choice. I think you're gonna love it. But I think it's too precious for me to talk about it. It's crazy."
Too precious? What the eff does that mean? Does she sing about little kittens playing with string or what?
Busy touring the world playing hits from her one album, we'll see if she can keep up the show. I have yet to be convinced she's not just another generic pop star - dressed up in "shocking" outfits, trying to prove something that she doesn't really need to prove.
She always makes me think of that line in Empire Records that a young Renee Zellweger spews sarcastically at Robin Tunney, "Well, Sinead O'Rebellion...Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior!"
I think it will sell like gangbusters and then she'll pull the same remix ripoff scheme she did with her first album but in the world of pop I really am inclined to associate just three words with 2011...IT'S BRITNEY BITCH!
After waiting an uncharacteristically long two years to drop a sophomore album, "Born This Way" hits next year and will no doubt sell gazillions of copies in it's first hours...this is the type of album slobbering beasts sleep outside stores for because they want to be the hipster idiot to say they bought it first.
I wouldn't mind her as much if it weren't for the fact that I feel she insults the intelligence of music fans, real music fans, which are typically not pop music fans as it were. Sure, I can get down to a good pop song with the best of them and even like Paparazzi quite a bit, but the show of it all, the imagery she's created in the vain of being different, is annoying the crap out of me.
RedOne, a good friend of hers and her producer, said in an interview:
"To be honest with you, I think that this album that she's making is too precious to talk about. When it comes out you'll hear and you'll make your choice. I think you're gonna love it. But I think it's too precious for me to talk about it. It's crazy."
Too precious? What the eff does that mean? Does she sing about little kittens playing with string or what?
Busy touring the world playing hits from her one album, we'll see if she can keep up the show. I have yet to be convinced she's not just another generic pop star - dressed up in "shocking" outfits, trying to prove something that she doesn't really need to prove.
She always makes me think of that line in Empire Records that a young Renee Zellweger spews sarcastically at Robin Tunney, "Well, Sinead O'Rebellion...Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior!"
I think it will sell like gangbusters and then she'll pull the same remix ripoff scheme she did with her first album but in the world of pop I really am inclined to associate just three words with 2011...IT'S BRITNEY BITCH!
How Danielle Staub Made Me Cry
Prostitution whore...sex tape star...ex-con...reality vixen...plastic surgery nightmare...pop singer!
Who can keep up with the many slutty and illicit hats that Danielle Staub wears these days? She has just released a God awful video called "Cry" about how she was abused by her ex-husband. I assume it isn't the ex-husband that showed up on the Real Housewives of Jersey but the other one. You know, the one that she said played Russian Roulette in her most private of areas, hung her dog and beat the snot out of her on a daily basis?
Domestic abuse is no joke but this woman has as much credibility as Spencer and Heidi.
Anyway, the video is up at Gawker.com and against my better judgment I watched the stupid thing. Porno is one thing but acting is another and we can clearly see her bread is not buttered on the side of the latter. Basically the video has some poor schmuck in it who walks around while she's trying to emote sadness through her Botox. Her fake lesbian girlfriend wrote the fake lyrics for her before they fake broke up.
I don't know who the Hell is singing this piece of crap but it doesn't sound like her at all and the lip-synching is terrible in a distracting sort of way. Like when you watch the Devil's Advocate and Keanu Reeves' southern drawl mysteriously keeps going in and out.
It makes me cry but not because of the strength of the song or the video but because some bored asshole keeps giving her the opportunity to record music.
Who can keep up with the many slutty and illicit hats that Danielle Staub wears these days? She has just released a God awful video called "Cry" about how she was abused by her ex-husband. I assume it isn't the ex-husband that showed up on the Real Housewives of Jersey but the other one. You know, the one that she said played Russian Roulette in her most private of areas, hung her dog and beat the snot out of her on a daily basis?
Domestic abuse is no joke but this woman has as much credibility as Spencer and Heidi.
Anyway, the video is up at Gawker.com and against my better judgment I watched the stupid thing. Porno is one thing but acting is another and we can clearly see her bread is not buttered on the side of the latter. Basically the video has some poor schmuck in it who walks around while she's trying to emote sadness through her Botox. Her fake lesbian girlfriend wrote the fake lyrics for her before they fake broke up.
I don't know who the Hell is singing this piece of crap but it doesn't sound like her at all and the lip-synching is terrible in a distracting sort of way. Like when you watch the Devil's Advocate and Keanu Reeves' southern drawl mysteriously keeps going in and out.
It makes me cry but not because of the strength of the song or the video but because some bored asshole keeps giving her the opportunity to record music.
Nick and Jessica - Soon to be Newlyweds Again!
Within days of each other these two have gotten engaged to their significant others, and now the race to the altar begins!
Nick finally proposed to Vanessa Minnillo after 4 years of dating and Eric Johnson followed suit about a week later. They both tweeted standard congrats for each other but everyone seems to think it's total BS.
They divorced in 2005 after only three years of marriage and yet we still want to see them all pissy with each other for moving on. Maybe it's the fact that they took refuge on our televisions briefly as a modern-day Lucy and Ricky (if you don't get that reference you are too young to be reading my blog). The fact that they were on the wildly popular "Newlyweds" seems to have ingrained something into our minds that says they will be forever tied together if only in reruns.
Of course, I'm no psychiatrist and we do the same thing with Brad and Jen. So, who the Hell knows why we think of certain couples this way. All I know is thank God someone is marrying Jessica! With her mom jean scandals and plastic-surgery loving sister beating her not only down the aisle but to the maternity ward, we tend to treat this gorgeous, $100 million woman like she's Shrek.
Good to see her catching a break.
Nick finally proposed to Vanessa Minnillo after 4 years of dating and Eric Johnson followed suit about a week later. They both tweeted standard congrats for each other but everyone seems to think it's total BS.
They divorced in 2005 after only three years of marriage and yet we still want to see them all pissy with each other for moving on. Maybe it's the fact that they took refuge on our televisions briefly as a modern-day Lucy and Ricky (if you don't get that reference you are too young to be reading my blog). The fact that they were on the wildly popular "Newlyweds" seems to have ingrained something into our minds that says they will be forever tied together if only in reruns.
Of course, I'm no psychiatrist and we do the same thing with Brad and Jen. So, who the Hell knows why we think of certain couples this way. All I know is thank God someone is marrying Jessica! With her mom jean scandals and plastic-surgery loving sister beating her not only down the aisle but to the maternity ward, we tend to treat this gorgeous, $100 million woman like she's Shrek.
Good to see her catching a break.
11.15.2010
Sarah Palin’s Alaska - Episode 1
Following in the illustrious footsteps of “Jon and Kate” and “Sister Wives”, Sarah Palin landed with a bang on everyone’s favourite freak show channel, TLC. The highest show debut in TLC's history with 5 million viewers, now 5 million people can see 2012 from their houses.
It was semi-interesting if you like the outdoors, and Alaska is very beautiful indeed, but then you hear that voice tempering in through the credits, “I can see Russia from here!” she gleefully squeals in the opener as if it’s a badge of honour and not an international punch line.
She starts off outside on the deck “working” and Todd, who apparently doesn’t speak, comes out and stands there not speaking for a while well she bitches about the well-publicized guy next door who is writing a tell all about the family. She goes on and on about how he is invading their privacy and pretty much stalking them, though every shot they cut to of the dude he is sitting on his deck reading a book and keeping to himself. I didn’t see any cut out eye holes in the book for him to peer through and I certainly didn’t see him peeking over the top of the pages looking shady like a bad mystery movie. But whatever…Todd and his beer-swilling redneck buddies built a 14 foot fence to keep him on his side reading his book quietly.
Her stupid kid Willow, who looks identical to Bristol the Pistol (I would have thought she was in most instances if it weren’t for Bristol being in LA busy shooting DWTS and ignoring her kid instead of voting) makes many appearances. Unlike the others, who only made short stints on camera, Willow gets some airtime trying to sneak some jackass Andy upstairs while her mom is on the computer working. When Sarah wakes up from her work coma and realizes she’s been bested by her teenage daughter, she calls Willow on her Blackberry from about 15 feet away to tell her to come downstairs with her horny boyfriend ASAP! Can’t have another Levi Johnson in the family!
They go fishing for a while which Sarah pretends they always do, though the kids reveal otherwise when saying how cool it is and acting like it’s the first time they’ve gotten out and done something in ages. Todd doesn’t speak and she compares herself to a mama grizzly…blah, blah, blah…she really likes comparing herself to animals for some reason. When they return, again they bitch about the guy next door how much he sucks and how much they rule, and then they cut to the same footage of the dude sitting quietly reading his book.
Then it’s back to work! Sexy Sarah reminds us a few times that she has to juggle being a mom and working (which most mothers do anyway especially in these economic times) like we should feel sorry for her. She says that they do everything on their own with no help which I find hard to swallow until I see that she does her Fox News correspondence from her back yard so I kind of believe her. They even threw up a cardboard hick-style “Do Not Disturb” sign on the shed or whatever the Hell it is she calls a studio for effect. We get it. You don’t have to keep telling us how down to Earth you are. Message received and deleted. Inside we see the shed is a beautiful studio set up with an amazing panoramic view of Alaska behind her. She asks Todd a few questions about what she should say to Bill O’Reilly because she doesn’t want anymore “Gotcha” journalists taking her words and making them sound dumb. Huh? By the way is it weird that Fox News still calls her Governor? She retired from that job in 2009 to sell her coloring books or something, didn‘t she?
She allegedly banters with Bill for a while about important things and then we see her back to the outdoors she loves. After telling her father he should’ve climbed Mount McKinley and it’s not too late to put it on his bucket list as it is an Alaskan badge of honour and everyone should do it, she tries to climb part of it herself with less then stellar results.
Cut to her attempting to climb this behemoth! Apparently, she thinks all her pageant experience and political stupidity deems her qualified enough to try to climb part of the highest peak in North America. The guide takes her and silent Todd up and they walk along a glacier over dangerous crevasses (which they pronounce Cravases) and begin to climb part of McKinley.
The guide whips up the stony structure like it’s nobody’s business and waits for Sexy Sarah to make her way up…we wait…and wait…and wait. At some point a title card comes up and we see it’s been 45 minutes since she started, and I imagine this is the producers clever way of showing us how Sarah perseveres through it, how she doesn’t quit when things get tough! Well, holy shit! Get out the campaign buttons right now! This is an hour long ad for our future President.
This woman is going rogue all over Alaska and loving it!
It was semi-interesting if you like the outdoors, and Alaska is very beautiful indeed, but then you hear that voice tempering in through the credits, “I can see Russia from here!” she gleefully squeals in the opener as if it’s a badge of honour and not an international punch line.
She starts off outside on the deck “working” and Todd, who apparently doesn’t speak, comes out and stands there not speaking for a while well she bitches about the well-publicized guy next door who is writing a tell all about the family. She goes on and on about how he is invading their privacy and pretty much stalking them, though every shot they cut to of the dude he is sitting on his deck reading a book and keeping to himself. I didn’t see any cut out eye holes in the book for him to peer through and I certainly didn’t see him peeking over the top of the pages looking shady like a bad mystery movie. But whatever…Todd and his beer-swilling redneck buddies built a 14 foot fence to keep him on his side reading his book quietly.
Her stupid kid Willow, who looks identical to Bristol the Pistol (I would have thought she was in most instances if it weren’t for Bristol being in LA busy shooting DWTS and ignoring her kid instead of voting) makes many appearances. Unlike the others, who only made short stints on camera, Willow gets some airtime trying to sneak some jackass Andy upstairs while her mom is on the computer working. When Sarah wakes up from her work coma and realizes she’s been bested by her teenage daughter, she calls Willow on her Blackberry from about 15 feet away to tell her to come downstairs with her horny boyfriend ASAP! Can’t have another Levi Johnson in the family!
They go fishing for a while which Sarah pretends they always do, though the kids reveal otherwise when saying how cool it is and acting like it’s the first time they’ve gotten out and done something in ages. Todd doesn’t speak and she compares herself to a mama grizzly…blah, blah, blah…she really likes comparing herself to animals for some reason. When they return, again they bitch about the guy next door how much he sucks and how much they rule, and then they cut to the same footage of the dude sitting quietly reading his book.
Then it’s back to work! Sexy Sarah reminds us a few times that she has to juggle being a mom and working (which most mothers do anyway especially in these economic times) like we should feel sorry for her. She says that they do everything on their own with no help which I find hard to swallow until I see that she does her Fox News correspondence from her back yard so I kind of believe her. They even threw up a cardboard hick-style “Do Not Disturb” sign on the shed or whatever the Hell it is she calls a studio for effect. We get it. You don’t have to keep telling us how down to Earth you are. Message received and deleted. Inside we see the shed is a beautiful studio set up with an amazing panoramic view of Alaska behind her. She asks Todd a few questions about what she should say to Bill O’Reilly because she doesn’t want anymore “Gotcha” journalists taking her words and making them sound dumb. Huh? By the way is it weird that Fox News still calls her Governor? She retired from that job in 2009 to sell her coloring books or something, didn‘t she?
She allegedly banters with Bill for a while about important things and then we see her back to the outdoors she loves. After telling her father he should’ve climbed Mount McKinley and it’s not too late to put it on his bucket list as it is an Alaskan badge of honour and everyone should do it, she tries to climb part of it herself with less then stellar results.
Cut to her attempting to climb this behemoth! Apparently, she thinks all her pageant experience and political stupidity deems her qualified enough to try to climb part of the highest peak in North America. The guide takes her and silent Todd up and they walk along a glacier over dangerous crevasses (which they pronounce Cravases) and begin to climb part of McKinley.
The guide whips up the stony structure like it’s nobody’s business and waits for Sexy Sarah to make her way up…we wait…and wait…and wait. At some point a title card comes up and we see it’s been 45 minutes since she started, and I imagine this is the producers clever way of showing us how Sarah perseveres through it, how she doesn’t quit when things get tough! Well, holy shit! Get out the campaign buttons right now! This is an hour long ad for our future President.
This woman is going rogue all over Alaska and loving it!
Ad Nausea in the Age of Materialism
Where isn’t there an ad nowadays?
I watch television and there’s an ad in the corner. I go to work and there are pop-ups all over my screen. I take a piss and there’s an ad on the door. Buy me! They scream mercilessly as if I’m thinking of what products I may want to purchase while I take a dump.
I studied marketing in college and know how the machine works. It’s one of the reasons I don’t want anything to do with marketing. It’s a shallow industry built on bottom lines and profit margins. The people are secondary, tertiary even, to money and consumerism.
When I was in high school I took a course in Media Literature, no one wanted to take it as I recall and the damn thing was almost cancelled due to lack of interest. Thankfully, the class was a go and I was enlightened a bit by a teacher who gave me a copy of a glossy magazine called “Ad Busters”.
Now, “Ad Busters” and any sort of publication like it should be taken with a grain of salt. Much like the marketing machine, magazines like these are very much one-sided. Where marketers spend time grabbing at your dollars by doing things like manipulating Maslow’s Hierarchy, anti-consumerism groups spend time basically telling you how evil it is to be a consumer.
I am not going to preach about this because I am aware people are either for consumerism or against it…and I know that consumers don’t want to hear about how they are shopping us into oblivion. We’re cooking the damn planet with our garbage and fossil fuel dependency and no one seems to care…as long as you have the latest trendy piece of shit item, sadly it doesn’t seem to matter.
If you don’t need that new pair of shoes, think twice. If you are only buying something because Carrie on Sex and the City wore it - for God sakes, don’t do it! And if you can’t control the urge to splurge on the latest gadget - just think about how they are going to screw you with an update or new product in a few months.
I just want people to stop and think for a minute when they are out and about shopping - do you really need it?
I watch television and there’s an ad in the corner. I go to work and there are pop-ups all over my screen. I take a piss and there’s an ad on the door. Buy me! They scream mercilessly as if I’m thinking of what products I may want to purchase while I take a dump.
I studied marketing in college and know how the machine works. It’s one of the reasons I don’t want anything to do with marketing. It’s a shallow industry built on bottom lines and profit margins. The people are secondary, tertiary even, to money and consumerism.
When I was in high school I took a course in Media Literature, no one wanted to take it as I recall and the damn thing was almost cancelled due to lack of interest. Thankfully, the class was a go and I was enlightened a bit by a teacher who gave me a copy of a glossy magazine called “Ad Busters”.
Now, “Ad Busters” and any sort of publication like it should be taken with a grain of salt. Much like the marketing machine, magazines like these are very much one-sided. Where marketers spend time grabbing at your dollars by doing things like manipulating Maslow’s Hierarchy, anti-consumerism groups spend time basically telling you how evil it is to be a consumer.
I am not going to preach about this because I am aware people are either for consumerism or against it…and I know that consumers don’t want to hear about how they are shopping us into oblivion. We’re cooking the damn planet with our garbage and fossil fuel dependency and no one seems to care…as long as you have the latest trendy piece of shit item, sadly it doesn’t seem to matter.
If you don’t need that new pair of shoes, think twice. If you are only buying something because Carrie on Sex and the City wore it - for God sakes, don’t do it! And if you can’t control the urge to splurge on the latest gadget - just think about how they are going to screw you with an update or new product in a few months.
I just want people to stop and think for a minute when they are out and about shopping - do you really need it?
11.12.2010
Funniest Guy Online
I'm not one to sit around on YouTube and watch kittens chase their tails or fat people falling through ice but this guy is effing hilarious. And well worth taking the time to watch a few. It's one dude who does all the animation and voices and I give it five fist pumps out of five.
http://www.youtube.com/user/KCSCougar#p/u/31/0zned6m3RwU
http://www.youtube.com/user/KCSCougar#p/u/31/0zned6m3RwU
The Real Housewives - My Obsession Began in Orange County…
It started in the OC…in the wake of a boom of Orange County-centric shows like Laguna Beach and of course, The OC. From there it grew into it’s own monster - they added New York, Atlanta, New Jersey, DC and then Beverly Hills - but I’ll get to those in another blog.
My main man - Andy Cohen is the programming mastermind behind this beast. As the Senior VP of Production and Programming at Bravo TV, a subsidiary of NBC Universal, he takes spoiled and entitled women and puts them and their family’s lives in a fishbowl for all of us to gawk at, usually pretty slack-jawed.
I must say, I loooove me some Andy Cohen! He’s a reality genius…a TV junkie’s heroine dealer. He is the brains behind Top Chef, Million Dollar Listing, Flipping Out and The Rachel Zoe Project to name a few. He finally won an Emmy last year for Top Chef, beating out the front runner The Amazing Race for the first time ever. Too bad he was out getting sloshed with Sarah Jessica Parker or one of his other celeb buddies and didn’t make it to the awards.
The OC started out as a small, cheapo-weapo, reality show. I remember checking it out in reruns and thinking who the Hell watches this garbage? Then, one episode at a time, they had me panting for more. I suppose the one housewife story I was most into was Jo and Slade. The resident young assholes - Slade loved to talk about how rich they were and Jo loved to talk about how drunk she was. Ultimately, they broke up so Slade banged one of the other Season 1 housewives Lauri in a feverish attempt to stay on the show. Then the stupid drunk one Jo got her own reality show spin-off so Slade went back to banging her.
The show failed miserably and basically so did they - both in a bullshit music career and a failed bid at movie stardom. He now bangs Gretchen, the token airhead on the OC Housewives, who though she is beautiful, may or may not be missing half her brain. She says things like, “His job is pleasuring me in bed.” when asked about her fake knight in shining armour’s non-job and giggles like an idiot when the other ladies tell her how much of a proven douchebag Slade is.
The other ladies are a bunch of jerks that pretend to be rich and happy until the end of the season reunion shows come, where they fight like tweens. We'll have to start at Season 5 as it is the most recent.
Vicki Gunvalson is the only original one left - she’s a cold fish who sits around telling everyone how hard she works while poking the others about how they don’t work. Boring! She was married to this dude Donn, who seemed to be the only rational person on the show - but they’ve since gone the way of most reality couples - divorce. She annoys everyone else on the show with her know-it-all attitude and has since said she may not return for season 6.
Tamra Barney is a really pretty blond who means well but stirs up shit constantly. She thinks she’s still in high school fighting to be Queen Bee. She had a controlling husband Simon who didn’t let her travel alone and basically treated her like snot but alas, that marriage is dunzo too. She has crazy cute kids who now live with her in a condo since the divorce (they had to sell the house in a short sale.) Her oldest son has been arrested more times then Charlie “Teflon” Sheen and I‘m sure was one of the reasons her bastard husband left. As the evil stepson he had constantly been a bane in Simon's existence. Vicki and Tamra are best friends and team up to torture Gretchen about some seriously messed up shit that played out on season 4 (and in the news) involving some scumbag named Jay Photoglou. Simon, since leaving, has taken the kids off the show for next season and Tamra has a new guy - Eddie Judge - who seems to be a new sugardaddy of sorts. Though young and hot he is now taking care of her as Simon no longer could (Simon quit/got fired from his lucrative job at Fletcher Jones to sell fancy booze).
The aforementioned Gretchen Rossi is a trip! She thinks she knows what’s going on, but girlfriend doesn’t have a clue. Still with Slade, amongst rumours they got engaged in the upcoming season, he has turned her into a clone of his precious Jo, without all the hooch. He even talked the dumb broad into buying Jo’s music so they could still profit off her. Basically, she’s a gold digger whose wealthy fiancé Jeff, died on the first season she was on. Now the tables seem to have turned - and she’s the one being played. I could go on about Slade and her forever so I'll move on. The main source of conflict amongst these ladies is a feud between Tamra and Gretchen that like I said involves an OC scumbag Jay Photoglou. The gist of it is that while Gretchen was with uber-rich Jeff apparently she was also with Jay. After things soured with Jay, he turned to Tamra and Simon (God only knows why) on a mission to destroy the clueless Gretchen. He called night after night divulging her shadiness in detail to the immature Barney's who in turn got super-pissed at Gretchen for involving them in the madness. Since, Jay's released some gnarly pics of Gretchen online (mostly to theDirty.com) and they've been in and out of court suing each other over defamation and lies.
Lynne Curtin stands around all day with her hands over her ears singing la-la-la-la, you know? Like little kids do. She seems to be fairly stoned most of the time and has been evicted four or five times. Her two princess daughters say “like” constantly and can barely speak English. They sound like they speak LA - that mystifying language that Paris Hilton and her cohorts speak. They were famously evicted on the show after her husband, Jim (I call him Jimmy Cooper from the OC) failed to pay a hefty deposit on their new home. It was not the first time...seems Jimmy Cooper can't say no you see. He doesn't say no to his dumbass wife and he certainly doesn't say no to his stupid kids. Thus, the emperor had no clothes. He spent money he never really had on plastic surgery and BMWs for his precious family...leading them to embarrassing public debt and reduced them to living in a gasp! condo. They've since been canned from the show.
Alexis is the new one - according to the sharks on the tabloid sites she is the only one in Housewife history who campaigned her ass off to get on the show. She’s married to Jim, a shiesty jackass who says nothing more about his career then that he’s an entrepreneur. Online it says something about him owning pawn shops and there seems to be an indiscretion involving sports memorabilia fraud. They have three kids they leave with a nanny constantly and won't exactly be winning parent of the year anytime soon. The 411 on Alexis is that she’s a megabitch who cheated on her first husband and has always longed to be rich and famous; she was also a Maxim Hometown Hottie (barf) back in the day.
The previous housewives (there were 6) show up every now and then in cameos but have generally all just faded into D-list tabloid fodder. Bravo never comments on why these ladies leave - I’ll certainly miss Lynne's stoned stupidity and underage drunk daughters. Two new housewives are on the way for season 6 - just more fresh meat for the masses to gorge on and spit out.
My main man - Andy Cohen is the programming mastermind behind this beast. As the Senior VP of Production and Programming at Bravo TV, a subsidiary of NBC Universal, he takes spoiled and entitled women and puts them and their family’s lives in a fishbowl for all of us to gawk at, usually pretty slack-jawed.
I must say, I loooove me some Andy Cohen! He’s a reality genius…a TV junkie’s heroine dealer. He is the brains behind Top Chef, Million Dollar Listing, Flipping Out and The Rachel Zoe Project to name a few. He finally won an Emmy last year for Top Chef, beating out the front runner The Amazing Race for the first time ever. Too bad he was out getting sloshed with Sarah Jessica Parker or one of his other celeb buddies and didn’t make it to the awards.
The OC started out as a small, cheapo-weapo, reality show. I remember checking it out in reruns and thinking who the Hell watches this garbage? Then, one episode at a time, they had me panting for more. I suppose the one housewife story I was most into was Jo and Slade. The resident young assholes - Slade loved to talk about how rich they were and Jo loved to talk about how drunk she was. Ultimately, they broke up so Slade banged one of the other Season 1 housewives Lauri in a feverish attempt to stay on the show. Then the stupid drunk one Jo got her own reality show spin-off so Slade went back to banging her.
The show failed miserably and basically so did they - both in a bullshit music career and a failed bid at movie stardom. He now bangs Gretchen, the token airhead on the OC Housewives, who though she is beautiful, may or may not be missing half her brain. She says things like, “His job is pleasuring me in bed.” when asked about her fake knight in shining armour’s non-job and giggles like an idiot when the other ladies tell her how much of a proven douchebag Slade is.
The other ladies are a bunch of jerks that pretend to be rich and happy until the end of the season reunion shows come, where they fight like tweens. We'll have to start at Season 5 as it is the most recent.
Vicki Gunvalson is the only original one left - she’s a cold fish who sits around telling everyone how hard she works while poking the others about how they don’t work. Boring! She was married to this dude Donn, who seemed to be the only rational person on the show - but they’ve since gone the way of most reality couples - divorce. She annoys everyone else on the show with her know-it-all attitude and has since said she may not return for season 6.
Tamra Barney is a really pretty blond who means well but stirs up shit constantly. She thinks she’s still in high school fighting to be Queen Bee. She had a controlling husband Simon who didn’t let her travel alone and basically treated her like snot but alas, that marriage is dunzo too. She has crazy cute kids who now live with her in a condo since the divorce (they had to sell the house in a short sale.) Her oldest son has been arrested more times then Charlie “Teflon” Sheen and I‘m sure was one of the reasons her bastard husband left. As the evil stepson he had constantly been a bane in Simon's existence. Vicki and Tamra are best friends and team up to torture Gretchen about some seriously messed up shit that played out on season 4 (and in the news) involving some scumbag named Jay Photoglou. Simon, since leaving, has taken the kids off the show for next season and Tamra has a new guy - Eddie Judge - who seems to be a new sugardaddy of sorts. Though young and hot he is now taking care of her as Simon no longer could (Simon quit/got fired from his lucrative job at Fletcher Jones to sell fancy booze).
The aforementioned Gretchen Rossi is a trip! She thinks she knows what’s going on, but girlfriend doesn’t have a clue. Still with Slade, amongst rumours they got engaged in the upcoming season, he has turned her into a clone of his precious Jo, without all the hooch. He even talked the dumb broad into buying Jo’s music so they could still profit off her. Basically, she’s a gold digger whose wealthy fiancé Jeff, died on the first season she was on. Now the tables seem to have turned - and she’s the one being played. I could go on about Slade and her forever so I'll move on. The main source of conflict amongst these ladies is a feud between Tamra and Gretchen that like I said involves an OC scumbag Jay Photoglou. The gist of it is that while Gretchen was with uber-rich Jeff apparently she was also with Jay. After things soured with Jay, he turned to Tamra and Simon (God only knows why) on a mission to destroy the clueless Gretchen. He called night after night divulging her shadiness in detail to the immature Barney's who in turn got super-pissed at Gretchen for involving them in the madness. Since, Jay's released some gnarly pics of Gretchen online (mostly to theDirty.com) and they've been in and out of court suing each other over defamation and lies.
Lynne Curtin stands around all day with her hands over her ears singing la-la-la-la, you know? Like little kids do. She seems to be fairly stoned most of the time and has been evicted four or five times. Her two princess daughters say “like” constantly and can barely speak English. They sound like they speak LA - that mystifying language that Paris Hilton and her cohorts speak. They were famously evicted on the show after her husband, Jim (I call him Jimmy Cooper from the OC) failed to pay a hefty deposit on their new home. It was not the first time...seems Jimmy Cooper can't say no you see. He doesn't say no to his dumbass wife and he certainly doesn't say no to his stupid kids. Thus, the emperor had no clothes. He spent money he never really had on plastic surgery and BMWs for his precious family...leading them to embarrassing public debt and reduced them to living in a gasp! condo. They've since been canned from the show.
Alexis is the new one - according to the sharks on the tabloid sites she is the only one in Housewife history who campaigned her ass off to get on the show. She’s married to Jim, a shiesty jackass who says nothing more about his career then that he’s an entrepreneur. Online it says something about him owning pawn shops and there seems to be an indiscretion involving sports memorabilia fraud. They have three kids they leave with a nanny constantly and won't exactly be winning parent of the year anytime soon. The 411 on Alexis is that she’s a megabitch who cheated on her first husband and has always longed to be rich and famous; she was also a Maxim Hometown Hottie (barf) back in the day.
The previous housewives (there were 6) show up every now and then in cameos but have generally all just faded into D-list tabloid fodder. Bravo never comments on why these ladies leave - I’ll certainly miss Lynne's stoned stupidity and underage drunk daughters. Two new housewives are on the way for season 6 - just more fresh meat for the masses to gorge on and spit out.
11.11.2010
Perez Hilton - From the Heartless to the Heart
The Queen is dead.
Touting a self-named website that is one of the most popular celebu-sites online, Perez Hilton has amassed a small fortune talking smack and kicking ass as one of the only bloggers who had the balls to go after Hollywood with no apologies and a witty, smartass wink and a smile. Not anymore though - he has recently spoken out about negativity and bullying with a straight face - the one ideal her majesty once ruled with a vengeance.
Born, Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr., Perez Hilton (a play on Paris Hilton) used to garner huge hits for outing celebs and snarky doodling. Now, in a post-bullying-suicide world he has chosen a more demure route as Mr. Nice Guy - turning his back on the very shtick that made his blog stand out from the rest.
Admittedly, I was one of his biggest fans…Hell, bitch was my homepage. But now, sadly as most things do, his time in the limelight seems to be ending. With a quasi-relationship with the very celebs he once bashed and an insatiable taste for his own fame, Perez has gone from an unapologetic celebu-blogger to a typical star-seeking bitch.
I don’t condone being an asshole…but I also don’t like my intelligence being insulted…for someone to build a fortune on negativity and then try to school me on how negativity breeds violence is insane. Hypocritical in fact…and I hate hypocrites.
Yeah, yeah, you were on some reality shows and a handful of talk shows…and apparently you recorded a song called “The Clap” which I haven’t heard but is described simply as being a song about Gonorrhoea, you represent a few musical artists on your music label - Darelle London, who seems to be the Canadian equivalent of Lily Allen (someone Perez formerly bashed shamelessly) and Sliimy who put out a dope cover of Womanizer but that may be the best thing I can say about him - but other then that your celebrity, the very celebrity you have spent years building from behind a computer (which, I‘ll admit is impressive) seems non-existent at best. Seems kissing Lady Gaga’s ass can only get you so far in LaLaLand.
Now with the tides changing and the world becoming increasingly more sensitive (something that pisses me off to no end) he’s turned his back on the negative to focus on the mundane…which is all well and good but where is the intrigue? Where is the controversy?
Now, Perez Hilton has become just like everyone else…a rat in a cage…a hand puppet for the famous. I go to his site every now and then but I may as well be on any celeb-site, there’s no bite, no payoff…I’m not saying it’s better to be berating these celebutards but if you want to stand out - STAND OUT! Don’t spoon feed me the same info - much later then other sites I may add - and expect me to drool.
In the over-saturated world of celebrity news, now he’s just another brick in the wall.
Touting a self-named website that is one of the most popular celebu-sites online, Perez Hilton has amassed a small fortune talking smack and kicking ass as one of the only bloggers who had the balls to go after Hollywood with no apologies and a witty, smartass wink and a smile. Not anymore though - he has recently spoken out about negativity and bullying with a straight face - the one ideal her majesty once ruled with a vengeance.
Born, Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr., Perez Hilton (a play on Paris Hilton) used to garner huge hits for outing celebs and snarky doodling. Now, in a post-bullying-suicide world he has chosen a more demure route as Mr. Nice Guy - turning his back on the very shtick that made his blog stand out from the rest.
Admittedly, I was one of his biggest fans…Hell, bitch was my homepage. But now, sadly as most things do, his time in the limelight seems to be ending. With a quasi-relationship with the very celebs he once bashed and an insatiable taste for his own fame, Perez has gone from an unapologetic celebu-blogger to a typical star-seeking bitch.
I don’t condone being an asshole…but I also don’t like my intelligence being insulted…for someone to build a fortune on negativity and then try to school me on how negativity breeds violence is insane. Hypocritical in fact…and I hate hypocrites.
Yeah, yeah, you were on some reality shows and a handful of talk shows…and apparently you recorded a song called “The Clap” which I haven’t heard but is described simply as being a song about Gonorrhoea, you represent a few musical artists on your music label - Darelle London, who seems to be the Canadian equivalent of Lily Allen (someone Perez formerly bashed shamelessly) and Sliimy who put out a dope cover of Womanizer but that may be the best thing I can say about him - but other then that your celebrity, the very celebrity you have spent years building from behind a computer (which, I‘ll admit is impressive) seems non-existent at best. Seems kissing Lady Gaga’s ass can only get you so far in LaLaLand.
Now with the tides changing and the world becoming increasingly more sensitive (something that pisses me off to no end) he’s turned his back on the negative to focus on the mundane…which is all well and good but where is the intrigue? Where is the controversy?
Now, Perez Hilton has become just like everyone else…a rat in a cage…a hand puppet for the famous. I go to his site every now and then but I may as well be on any celeb-site, there’s no bite, no payoff…I’m not saying it’s better to be berating these celebutards but if you want to stand out - STAND OUT! Don’t spoon feed me the same info - much later then other sites I may add - and expect me to drool.
In the over-saturated world of celebrity news, now he’s just another brick in the wall.
11.10.2010
Bristol the Pistol to Win?
I don't watch Dancing with the Stars and would probably rather dig my eyes out with a blunt object then start. But, with everyone's favourite unwed, teen breeder Bristol on queue to win, it baits me to comment.
Being the daughter of a woman who has, arguably, given us some of the most ridiculous quotes in political history (along with George W) and getting knocked up by some inbred playgirl model/mayoral candidate at 18 has seemingly rocketed this young woman to fame - only American fame really, but nowadays isn’t that the only fame that seems to matter?
Beating out the Hoff, Mrs. Brady and (gasp!) the Situation, she seems to be untouchable…A woman who speaks about abstinence for boatloads of money but couldn’t keep her panties on, a girl who formed BSMP, a political consulting firm, but did not vote.
Obviously, I have nothing really good to say about Bristol the Pistol, but apparently the American public sees her as someone worthy of their love…and of that God-awful disco ball trophy they award each year.
Maybe, Sarah Palin’s craptastic reality show will shed some light on this family, this woman, and why people are so enamoured of her…It’s been speculated that the Tea Party is keeping her alive with their votes, which to me, is simply another reason to hate the Tea Party.
I know sometimes people are famous for bad behavior, hello Spencer Pratt and Omarosa, but to dress this jerk up in glitter and pretend she’s worth any airtime is beyond me. My cat is more interesting and intelligent then she is.
Being the daughter of a woman who has, arguably, given us some of the most ridiculous quotes in political history (along with George W) and getting knocked up by some inbred playgirl model/mayoral candidate at 18 has seemingly rocketed this young woman to fame - only American fame really, but nowadays isn’t that the only fame that seems to matter?
Beating out the Hoff, Mrs. Brady and (gasp!) the Situation, she seems to be untouchable…A woman who speaks about abstinence for boatloads of money but couldn’t keep her panties on, a girl who formed BSMP, a political consulting firm, but did not vote.
Obviously, I have nothing really good to say about Bristol the Pistol, but apparently the American public sees her as someone worthy of their love…and of that God-awful disco ball trophy they award each year.
Maybe, Sarah Palin’s craptastic reality show will shed some light on this family, this woman, and why people are so enamoured of her…It’s been speculated that the Tea Party is keeping her alive with their votes, which to me, is simply another reason to hate the Tea Party.
I know sometimes people are famous for bad behavior, hello Spencer Pratt and Omarosa, but to dress this jerk up in glitter and pretend she’s worth any airtime is beyond me. My cat is more interesting and intelligent then she is.
Disney Princesses Gone Wild
What the eff is with these Disney princesses going nutso?
First there was Brit Brit, then Lindsanity and now little girl lost Demi Lovato has fallen from her shiny pedestal of Disney stardom…
I know they have crazy ass fathers who make their lives a little well, crazy ass, but blaming daddy is getting old and I have to wonder what is it about the Disney star-making machine that drives these talented jerks to go cuckoo?
Britney, we can assume, went all crazy pants when Justin Timberlake broke her little teen heart, because let’s face it, Boy is FINE! Anyone would go a little cuckoo after losing his hotass. Props to her for getting better though, I thought she was dunzo when she married K-Fed and then went all Kojak, shaving her head in public. Just goes to show you anyone can pick themselves back up, strap on those titty tassels and get back to business!
Lindsanity blames her father, the media blames both her parents and in rehab they are probably telling her to blame Hollyweird…all I know is bitch needs to stop snorting coke and going for late night joyrides on the PCH. One of these days she’ll hit someone instead of a tree and become a chew toy in jail for some butch named “The Clitty Licker”.
And then there’s the newest little princess, Demi…a poor man’s Miley Cyrus if you ask me. A carbon copy of a carbon copy of a carbon copy.
Following in the footsteps of these illustrious assholes, she is now in rehab at 18. Allegedly for cocaine and cutting, like her predecessor Lindsanity, but in the press they say it is for "physical and emotional issues." By the way, what PR guru idiot came up with this one? When Lindsay first checked into rehab she spewed some nonsense about "making a proactive move to take care of her personal health."
SIDEBAR: Personal health? Proactive? The proactive thing would've been not drinking so much damn hooch you were found passed out in the hallway of the Beverly Wilshire, you stupid drunk!
And Miss Lovato's "physical and emotional issues" seems to be code for punching out one of her dancers for telling the Disney bigwigs about her hardcore partying - so basically some random chick told on her for doing drugs and drinking too much and she smacked a bitch down. They are also trying to say a Jonas Bros. (God only knows which one - points to you if you can tell one from the other) break-up was involved but let’s face it - JoeBro or not - no one really cares about them since Bieber Fever hit.
No conclusions can seem to be made from my ramblings aside from the fact that the house of mouse is a common denominator here…Hell, if it weren't for the collective stupidity of young Hollywood with their Paris Hiltons and Heidi Montags it could easily be assumed that they program teen scandal into these starlets along with the words to the Disney theme song. The boys seem to be a hot mess as well…but, aside from JC Chasez I don't consider them princesses…and that's really a whole other blog for a whole other time.
Image Via www.freedisneyclipartsite.com
And it Begins...
This is a blog about "stuff", mainly unimportant stuff that I find interesting in the world...
To those who know me you may be aware of my affinity for Celebu-nonsense and my disdain for the sad state of affairs the world is in.
So, here it all shall be...the good, the bad and the ugly. Don't take me seriously, I reek of sarcasm and don't seek to offend anyone.
I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
To those who know me you may be aware of my affinity for Celebu-nonsense and my disdain for the sad state of affairs the world is in.
So, here it all shall be...the good, the bad and the ugly. Don't take me seriously, I reek of sarcasm and don't seek to offend anyone.
I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
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