What the Hell is Going on With Kate Gosselin?

Ah!  Remember back in the day when you could throw on a little Jon and Kate Plus 8 and watch a family of 10 fold laundry and shit?  It was a hit!  Like those homophobic duck people! ;)  People couldn't get enough!

Until we could...

Cut to a couple of years later and Kate was more likely to be found screaming her fool head off at Jon than anything else.  She would berate him constantly...yell at him in public...and you just knoooow that icy bitch wasn't putting out!  Jon finally peaced out to go look for some silence (and probably some pussy) and Kate grabbed the world by the balls and struck out on her "own".  Enter, Kate Plus 8.

Now this show was a real piece of shit.  The familial fold had clearly unfolded into a hot mess of free trips, Kate yelling at the only friends she had left and some sort of silver fox looking bodyguard she clearly didn't need.  Whilst Kris Jenner Jr. was still on TLC pimping out her kiddies, Jon was on a yacht...with Christian Audigier...no one knows why except for them.  

Illuminati shit.

Anyways!  Between then and now Kate and Jon have declared their own sort of War of the Roses on each other.  She says he jacked their bank account...he says she hacked his computer...he said she hit the kids...she said he's a manwhore etc. etc.

So let's get in the now > Kate is broke and dragging her older twins Maddie and Cara to The View et al trying to make stars out of them.  There's a slight problem with her retirement plan though.  Her twins seem to have made some sort of sisterly pact not to speak when she does this and Kate just ends up looking like a big asshole on national television yet again.

As for Jon, dude's been living in a Unibomber style shack out in the woods for the last couple of years (hiding from Christian Audigier I bet!)  He's also on Couples Therapy (where he was supposedly caught masturbating on camera lol.)  Now, after Kate's little non-speaking tv tour with his kids, he's going for full custody of all of them.

He says, "[The children] live in fear of Kate. Every time I see them, they tell me they want to live with me...Regardless of what the judge decides, I have to at least try. I just wish Kate would wake up, realize how she's behaving--and change her ways."

Oh snap!

Kate fully expects to win but I think it's pretty obvious that sadly they're all losers here...especially the kiddies.

Image Via www.doucheblog24.blogspot.com

Jimmy Kimmel Spoofs a New Kate Gosselin Dating Show - VIDEO

I don't know about you guys but Kate Gosselin scares the hell outta me!  She's a little less scary without that fucked up chick mullet but still!  This chick will slice and dice you with that bitchy tongue of hers!

Sushi-Style!

Check out this Kimmel spoof about a new money-making show for Kate and her 8 little paychecks >

(The actual faux promo starts a minute in if you're not into Kimmel...)



The sad part is, if this were a show, I'd probably watch it lol!  I'm like, totally sick!

Image Via www.youtube.com

Kate Gosselin Got a Facelift?

Meh - She still looks like an asshole to me...

Seriously dude?  You might want to keep some of that money for college tuition dumbass...

According to UsWeekly, Kate Gosselin wants back on TV and apparently she thinks fixing her stupid fucking face will help do that.

A source tells the rag, "She's consumed with her appearance...It's not surprising, Kate wants to look 10 years younger."

Supposedly, Kate (who has had a tummy tuck and tittay implants done already) relies on three tanning sessions a week to keep her Snooki-like glow and last June she allegedly even pumped her own face full of Botox.   

"New York City plastic surgeon Jon Turk tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on sale Wednesday) that based on recent photos, it looks like Gosselin's gone more extreme this time: A defined jawline and changed eye shape "suggest a facelift."

What a waste of money!  If anything, bitch needs a personality lift.  Her failure serves her right for treating people the way she does...Jon's balls need to drop already so he can take charge of the damn money!  But I guess he'd just piss it all away on pussy and Ed Hardy t-shirts...Sad.   

And this is neither here nor there really but I'm still seeing new pics with her and her boyfriend bodyguard???  Who's he protecting her from?  Her kids?  I don't even think Hasselhoff has security and that motherfucker is a legend!

The only person this ho needs protection from is herself!

Image Via www.usmagazine.com

Kate Gosselin + a Coupon Company = a JOB!

Ugh!  Vile, vile woman!

When Kate Gosselin lost her crappy show on TLC we all let out a collective sigh of relief.  It was the sort of relief you feel when a giant asshole you know feels the sharp bitchslap of karma.  It felt nice.

Well it seems karma is a beautiful bitch who keeps on slappin'!

In a complete 180 from starring in a reality show Kate got a new (much less glamorous) job as a blog writer for an online coupon deals website.  She will publish her first blog post on November 22 and will give tips on how to survive Black Friday on a budget.  YAWN!

Jackie Warrick (Prez of CouponCabin.com) says, "Kate has embraced coupons her entire life. We look forward to sharing the unique insight she has gained over the years."   Puh-lease!  The only thing this chick has any insight about is alienating her husband and treating people badly.

"No matter how much money you have, it's just smart to use coupons. It's like free money in your pocket," Kate said about the job.

Hope you have a shitload of coupons yourself, Kate!  You're going to need 'em.

Image Via www.hairstyles-ideas.info

Why the Hell Would Kate Gosselin Buy an Audi?

This chick is unreal!

Don't get me wrong, Jon's a mayja doucher too but at least he lives in the real world, albeit not very successfully.

Anyway - Last week, Kate bought herself a new ride yo!  Ho bought an two-seater Audi!  LOL - whatta dumbass!  I expect she is going to either make her kids run alongside the car while she berates them or she's just over it and does not want to take them ANYWHERE anymore.  I'm surprised her big fat ego could even fit in the sucker.

Kate was recently canned by TLC and has been pretty public about being freaked out about the lack of  income but apparently she isn't freaked out that much - Audi's ain't cheap.

In my opinion this octoidiot has LOST IT!  I started watching the show again in the past two weeks because I'm a glutton for punishment of the cancellation and in my estimation she's gone nutso with a capital bitch!  Her babysitter (that sweetheart Ashley who has pretty much been on the show since the beginning) walked out of a road trip froom hell last week after Kate lost it over some fucking pizza and even her slave-boy bodyguard Steve (the only employee she's relatively nice to) seems to be getting sick of the nightmare mom. 

Time's gonna tell on this one, but I think it's safe to say Kate's on minute 14 and she better start thinking about what happens at 16.  College is expensive and teenage boys can eat their friggin' weight in food! 

Image Via www.celebritycarsblog.com

Kate Gosselin is Still a D-I-V-A

Check out this footage of an upcoming ep of that god-awful show Kate Plus 8.

It would seem that mommy dearest Kate got into it with her BFF and nanny, Ashley during a camping trip and they are not impressed.  You can see the word BITCH spewing from their eyes and can almost hear them wishing for death in the clip.

AWKWARD!



Just END IT ALREADY!!! 

Image Via www.drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.wordpress.com

Kate Plus 8 - Cancelled

Oh thank God!

After dragging this poor excuse of a show out for about 3 seasons longer than they should have it looks as though TLC may be looking for a new mega-sized family to exploit...

The network says, "TLC has decided not to renew another season of Kate Plus 8.  By the end of this season Kate Plus 8 will have hit the 150 episode mark (including Jon & Kate Plus 8); an exceptional milestone. TLC hopes to check in with Kate and the family periodically with specials in the future."

Thanks but no thanks, I don't need any updates...I think I'll just wait to check out the kiddies on Season 20 of The Surreal Life.  

Hopefully she can get a job elsewhere though - my heart bleeds for little Aidan and company - they NEVER wanted or asked for any of this.

Good riddance.

PS - if you give Octomom a show - I'm out!

UPDATE:  Kate released this statement:

"TLC cancelled it. I'm sorry ...

We've had a great run! Six years of whirlwind funfilled adventures thanks to TLC and our many many supportive &diehard fans!

While it is very sad for me and the kids (there were many tears at the breakfast table this morning!), we are looking forward with great anticipation to our bright future! As is very typical for me, I am choosing to see the positive in this situation and I am excited to consider the many more invigorating opportunities that may come my way!

I poured my entire self in2 the last6years of 'Kate Plus 8' & I can't wait2have the chance2challenge myself again w future endeavors! In the meanX,I hope 2have more time4motivational speaking,book writing &other fun work opportunities that come my way...And maybe even some dating??!! We wish our fans well. And remember, this is not 'goodbye'.I prefer to say 'See you around!' Xoxo

We will all stay on twitter! I know I'm not going anywhere!"

Yeah, not going anywhere besides the damn unemployment line!  Pfft!

Image Via www.igossip.com

Stalker Scare: Kate Gosselin Harassed by Pedophile Via Twitter

Yuck- to the motherfucking -y!

In today's gross out edition we talk about a loser freak who gets his jollies by either being a pedophile and/or pretending to be a pedophile.  Sick!

The douchebag Kate Gosselin follower went by the name GeorgeHarvey2 and was using a pic of the actor Stanley Tucci as his ID.  For those of you who don't live on IMDB - George Harvey was the evil mofo who killed a young girl (Tucci played the part in The Lovely Bones).

GeorgeHarvey2 tweeted that he is in NAMBLA (the pedophilia group) and “He also made several inappropriate tweets involving porn as well as the young girl who was raped and murdered in the film The Lovely Bones,” one of Kate’s legitimate Twitter followers tells RadarOnline.com.  (I'm not sure how legitimacy was determined though lol.)

Kate has since been alerted about GeorgeHarvey2 and Steve Silverfox the bodyguard prob took over.  She has since blocked the creepy freak from following.  Jon Gosselin is not being questioned and is currently wearing Ed Hardy.

TLC has no comment.

Image Via www.okmagazine.com

Kate Gosselin Fears She May Need to Get a "Real Job"

Well, join the club bitch!  Everybody works woman!  And by work I don't mean pose for pictures at the post office and/or try to get on top-rated but crappy dancing shows.

Kate Plus 8 was back on tonight and it was much like the first season of the Jon-less show - meh.  But really, does anybody even care anymore?

According to Popeater.com the shitty ratings the Gosselin's got last year have rumors running rampant that if Kate's show doesn't get at least a million viewers an ep it will disappear faster than you can say Jon's a douchebag.  This would leave Kate in the position to have to get a (gasp!) real job.

Now don't get me wrong I feel for the kiddies and don't want them to have to eat Ramen every night but she did this to herself.  She alienated everyone with her rigid bitchiness and pissed in Jon's Cheerios every day (metaphorically, people!) until he finally snatched his balls back and up and left her.

And let's face it - we were watching the marriage more then we were watching the actual show.  That's why (even though Jon snapped and went all Spring Break - wahoo!) it doesn't work without him.  Now it's just a crappy reality show about a single mother and her bratty kids going on vacations no one else can afford.  If anything the newly structured show makes us like her less - not want to see more of her.

For the kids sake I hope she saved some TLC money - because I don't think half a mill tuned in for the snoozefest - let alone a million.

Image Via www.showbizphilly.blogspot.com

Jon Gosselin Gets a J-O-B

With all the recent history making changes in the world Jon Gosselin figured it was time to do something more important than smoking cigarettes and neglecting his kids...Mofo got a new job!

Jon has gone and got himself a construction job where he can smoke cigarettes and neglect his kids!

In lieu of being useless tool he is now going a new route working with Green Point Energy, a Pennsylvania-based company that specializes in renewable energy.  Basically, he's a roofer.

You go Glen Coco!  You gots to get paid!

Image Via www.technorati.com

Kate Gosselin is Hot Now

Meh, not impressed.

Pictures have surfaced recently of Kate Gosselin showing off a killer bod and being photographed at a very flattering angle and apparently it is qualifying as news.

Big effin' deal...doesn't erase the fact that she has eight kids, a dumbass ex-husband and a tendency to throw bitch fits on just about everybody.

It shouldn't be as shocking as people think it is.  All this broad does is work out.  She has no friends and according to sources her family hates her stupid ass, Jon even peaced out and he allegedly has a super tiny penis so I'm thinking he wasn't looking forward to rejoining the dating circuit.

Well, good for her I guess, nice to see something good come out of all this reality show stupidity.

Top Ten Highest Paid Reality Stars

The Daily Beast has compiled a list of the reality stars who are estimated to bank the most cold, hard cash this year and it's a Kardashian-fest.  Kris Jenner must be kicking herself that she didn't have more kids!

The list is as follows:

Kim Kardashian - $6 Million
This krazy Kardashian has paved the way for a new brand of celebrity...pioneered by Paris but perfected by Kim K, this chick is a money-making machine!  By parlaying beauty, a somewhat famous last name, a big ass and a sex tape into an empire of fame-whoredom, it's Miss Kardashian's world and we all just live in it. 
Lauren Conrad - $5 Million
This Hills star made a name out of nothing and a career out of actually working.  Lauren is a talented style-maven who has carved out a lucrative fashion and publishing career for herself.  This chick has class, and she works it like no other young Hollywood reality star does.  Kudos for Lauren, go on girl! 
Bethenny Frankel - $4 Million
Most famous for being a Real Housewife of New York, I first saw Bethenny come in second on that shitty Martha Stewart Apprentice show.  She's since used her business savvy to eke out a high-profile presence in reality TV and personal branding.  Bravo loves this bitch, she'll be a mainstay on the network with her solo show for years to come.   
Audrina Patridge - $3.5 Million
Playing second fiddle to Lauren on the Hills, Audrina uses her perfect boobs to entrance men and make women feel inferior.  She has an upcoming solo show which I don't think will do too hot, but you never know.  The power of boobs is no joke!  
Kate Gosselin - $3.5 Million
Tied with Audrina, the octo-mom has used her no-holds-barred bitchiness to claw her way to the top of the heap of D-Listers on TLC.  While we watched her berate her useless husband and men in general, she soared in the ratings...now that the personal drama with Jon isn't on the show, ratings are falling faster than you can say child psychiatrist.  She still has a presence, but now it's in the form of being fodder for a scandal-ridden tabloid shitstorm.   
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino - $3 Million
We got a situation!  And it's that we pay this douchebag money to put out books and fitness videos based on the world according to Mike.  I'm a fan of the show and I've even been known to break out some Mike-isms like "grenade-free zone" and "T-shirt time" but I'm not about to go out and buy any of his crappy products!  That, for me, would be a major waste-of-my-money situation.  
Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian - $2.5 Million each
Completing the trifecta of the Kardashian machine, these two combine their powers with Kim to create the most famous sisters on the planet - Kardashius Prime!!!  They are a force to be reckoned with!  Books, shows, appearances...these chicks are like effing parsley, they're everywhere!
Kendra Wilkinson - $2 Million
Ugh - this one was a trip to me...famous for basically banging a rich, very influential old man, Kendra went from the projects to the penthouse.  She used her reality fame to bag herself a younger guy, though not as rich, marrying Hank Baskett (who does okay - he brought in about $1.5 in 2010) and popped out a kid with him.  She's an E Channel celeb so she takes a constant backseat to the precious Kardashian clan, but if they ever die, I could see her being the top bitch in the house of E. 
Pauly D - $2 Million
This DJ is another breakout from the train wreck show known as The Jersey Shore, possibly the most likable one on the cast - I'm betting on him for staying power.  That's right, when the Situation is a distant memory sustained only by TiVo and Snooki has died of alcohol poisoning - the last man standing is gonna be Pauly D.  You can quote me on that shit.

More Gosselin Drama!!!

Who are these two???  Heidi and Spencer Pratt?  They're really staying in the headlines these days!!!

The family that just won't go away has some new problems to give us reason to judge and berate their parenting skills.

First, Kate took off to sunny Mexico, leaving the kids alone with a teenage babysitter, infuriating the Ed Hardy ad known as Jon.  Radar Online reports that he was pissed he didn't know the young sitter and get to try to bang her and didn't get to talk to the kids while they were under her young rule.

Apparently, the 19-year-old couldn't handle the octo-brats and told Kate to take her $24-an-hour and shove it, quitting soon after the reality star mom's trip to Cabo.  That brings the total number of nannies who have quit to close to 30!  I don't even know 30 people!!!

Secondly, the absentee dad Jon also says he has been getting some nasty ass calls from angry parents who are saying that some of the little kids (I guess the ones that weren't expelled) are telling other students at school that their parents are lying to them and Santa isn't real.  Damn them!  I'd be pissed too!  Sure it's true but Santa is sacred...a sacred beautiful lie we tell our kids so they can bugger up the postal system every year and waste cookies and milk with a stupid, trusting smile on their faces!

It hasn't come out which of the little guys has been spewing the anti-Christmas hate speech but I bet it was that Joel!  It's the cutest ones that are always trouble...

The World According to Kate Gosselin

Reality baby machine Kate Gosselin is having a super-crappy month.

First, Eric Roberts - a small time actor who is the bro of Julia Roberts and father of Emma Roberts - randomly took to Twitter to straight up call her a child abuser.  Then the pothead Roberts, currently featured on Celebrity Rehab no less!, took his hatorade on over to http://smalltowngosselins.squarespace.com/ and gave an interview on how much Kate sucked.  I'll admit, she's not the best mom in the world but who the Hell is this guy???  All up in her grill like he knows what's up?

Secondly, two of the little ones - Colin and Alexis - were reportedly expelled from school for rage issues. Christ, rage issues!  Six-year-olds should not have rage let alone enough rage that it is an issue...Kate has since denied this saying she pulled them out of school but admitted they do have some anger about the fact that they are reality guinea pigs the divorce.

Then comes the kicker, Kate came out in an interview saying that in an attempt to teach the kids not to be wasteful, she repacks their lunch if they don't eat it.  Now, I'm thinking that's not a bad idea, right?  I'm down with not wasting shit but here's the thing, apparently she does this for up to a week.  That's a nasty ass sandwich!  Damn girlfriend!  Use some of that DWTS cash to make a new one at least and trick the little buggers into thinking it's the same one...the same point should come across.  Evidently, they get made fun of for having musty sandwiches at school by the other kids and lash out.

In other news, Jon Gosselin is still with his sugarmomma Ellen Ross and is still a douchebag.