Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Cast in Next Lady Gaga Video

Pop culture crossover, bitches!!!

E News is reporting that slutpig Lady Gagme Gaga has cast the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in her newest video.

According to the non-news news site the concept was the pop tart's idea and she will be directing the video which B T Dubs will also have a Miss Andy in it too.

Love me some Andy...

BUT > Ch'all know who's not in it thouuuuugh?

Two of the BH biotches will be MIA for the vid (E doesn't say why) and it's none other than Jacqueline Joyce and fall down drunk, LeAnn hating Brandi (who may have been cast but missed it because she's generally too drunk to know what fucking day it is.)

They didn't even mention Yolanda - one of my faves whoot! - in the article so I'm not too sure if Ryan Seacrest is mad at her dutch ass or David Foster made some calls and she is in fact now Lady Gaga...hard to tell what's what sometimes with today's shoddy journalism.

The shoot is taking place today at Hearst Castle.

Bleh.  Stupid music industry...I miss Kurt Cobain.

Image Via www.vulture.com

Everyone Needs to Stop Dicking Around and Just Let Brandi Glanville Be a Real Housewife

Am I right???

I'll admit that I don't totally know what's going on here because these damn rag mags have me so confused I don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my ass but Imma try to make some sort of sense out of this Brandi Glanville fuckery because frankly, it's sort of my thing...

Here's the dealio...

Brandi Glanville, who in my opinion is the best thing to happen to the Housewives since cuckoo Kelly Killoren got KKB canned, was made a full-time housewife for the third season (this was according to RadarOnline).

So, I was all YAY and shit, right?  But THEN Radar posted some crap yesterday about her being effed over by Eddie and that bikini-clad, twitter-obsessed LeAnn Cibrian!!!

ACK!  MAMA NOOO!

Radar now says that Eddie and Bikini Body were adamant that the kids not appear on the show (Brandi and Eddie have two sons) - when Brandi was forced to tell Bravo execs about Eddie and Bikini Body's non-story-line friendly decision, they cut her ass back down to B player with Thinshot enthusiast Dana "makes me wanna barf" Wilkey.

Here's my thing...

A while ago Radar was acquired by shitmag Star.  Since then it's just Star magazine wrapped up in a RadarOnline bow...thus, it's ALWAYS complete bullshit now.

Brandi took to twitter to spank them and wrote this:

I hope so!  I want more Brandi (and while I'm throwing that out there I could also do with a little less Shana Taylor - it's creepin' me out, man!  Seriously!)

#TeamBrandi

Image Via www.dailyfill.com

That Mohamed Dude From RHOBH Stole Joe Francis' Helicopter (Allegedly)

You wanna know what they call it when two things smash up against each other in pop culture weirdness???

SYNERGY!  Jazz hands!

Let's start here > Joe Francis (that douchebag who makes bank from getting drunk girls to show their tits) has misplaced his helicopter...

Yes, that's right.  Dude's all "Where the heck is my helicopter?  I seem to have misplaced my helicopter..."

It turns out that dumbass's only lead seems to be the guy who he went "halfsies" on the chopper with, none other than Mohamed Hadid from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Lisa Vanderpumpme's Buddy).

Hazzah!  Synergy!

Francis is now suing Hadid for the quarter mill he paid him for it.  Thing is, there was no paperwork!  He just gave Mohamed the cash for the sucker and assumed they were brahs or something.

Real swift buddy!

The helicopter has yet to be located.

Image Via www.wetpaint.com  

Video of the Day! Sneak Peek at The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion

Oh shiz!  Fucking BRING IT!

Though this season was a little effed up (Taylor!) the reunions are my fave thing EVER!!!  I'm getting a little excited just writing about it - so sick.

Check out this sneak peek at the 3-part reunion and it's freakin' awesomeness - and guess who's there???

Here's a hint - She dated a gay bull mastiff.  ;)



Image Via www.toofab.com

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - The Return of Cedric (Next Weeks Ep Recap)

I managed to get my grubby little hands on the new full ep of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (next week's episode) early from some Aussie dude and it is soooo good!  This is a recap so don't read anymore if you don't want to know what happens next week...your ass has been warned!  If you bitch at me on Twitter about it Imma block ya...and shit talk ya...and possibly report you for spam...Just jokes.  Let's roll!

It starts out with Kim being all cray cray and bossing that psychopath Ken around to get her soft drinks and other stupid shit while she's in the makeup chair (it's the big opening of Sur tonight!)  Kim jaws about how Kyle did her dirty by asking her why she missed her flight more than once...LOL - Kim is a trip!  Why the hell can't Kyle and that sexy bitch Mauricio ask her about why she was late to Hawaii?  It's not like she was 45 mins late - bitch was like 36 hours late!!!  That's fucking days!  DAYS!!!

Cut to Lisa's new lounge, Sur.  The opening is already bumpin' and their are TONS of fake boobs and bad botox jobs rippin' around drunk already.  Brandi seems a little perturbed though - what could be bothering the superawesome Brandi you ask?  Well, turns out the Vanderpumps have a waitress who works for them named Scheana - she just happens to be a girlfriend Eddie Cibrian was dating when Brandi was still married to him.  She (along with the lovely Brandi) was who he left for that asshat Leann Rimes.

What the fuck is that?  That hobag had a girlfriend AND a wife who he left for bikini-enthusiast Leann?  Did NOT know that!  Crazy!

Anyways, Lisa's a class act so she tells Scheana (who spells it like that?) to peace out because she's a ho making Brandi uncomfortable and she leaves.  Then we go back to Kim and creepy Ken.

Ken is PICKING OUT KIM'S CLOTHES!  Red flag, man!  Controlling dickhead red flag!

In interview, Kim says he likes to know what she's wearing and where she is at all times...she also says that if she doesn't pick up her phone, "It's a problem."  The hell?  What happens if she's in the bathroom or something?  (She's ALWAYS in the bathroom.)  She takes a handful of meds (on camera?  WTF dude?) and they head out.

Cut back to Sur and...enter Cedric!  Fucking I hate you AND your kids CEDRIC!!!

Lisa asks him what he's doing there and the mofo says he's just there to congratulate her, tell her how nice it is to see her and how much he still loves her.  Um - newsflash dickhead - Lisa don't love you no mo'.  Get it?  NO MO' LOVE AND MONEY AND AWESOME POOL LOUNGING FOR YOU!  She wants to know who the hell invited him but before anyone can say anything, Brandi gets all I didn't do it and Ken (good Ken not weirdo Ken) comes to his wife's rescue and kicks Cedric's mooching ass out.  They even clip back to the reunion for effect - natch.

He finally leaves after trying to shake Ken's hand (Ken's all Aw Hells naw, brah! and doesn't) with some trashy looking blonde chick he came with.

Oh shiz!  Now we're on to Shana Taylor and her shrink Dr. Sophy...dude comes to her house and she cries (she always cries - I don't think I've seen her in a scene this season not crying) while showing the Doc Kennedy's reward chart (?).  It's a little confusing...They talk about how she needs to be strong blah blah psychobabble blah and he reassures her that going to Sur is a good idea.  Just a question here but do shrinks in Beverly Hills usually escort their patients to parties?  Is that a thing?  Because it seems like some bo'shit to me.

Back at the opening - Adrienne is showing Lisa Paul's ex-girlfriend who is also at Sur that night.  What the fuck?  Everyone's at this damn opening lol.  Adrienne is a together lady though so no drama there...good girl!  She never acts a damn fool - it's refreshing.

Now we see Kim and crazy Ken are on their late-ass way to Sur in a dirty limo where Kim grabs what looks to be a baggie of drugs and a bunch of garbage in a napkin from behind her seat - not sure what's going on there!  Whatever!  Cut to interview where Kim says that she's a Virgo so she's late as shit and gets anxiety a lot (by the way she's drinking the whole ride...) she says she doesn't want to see Kyle and Ken just placates her the whole damn way.  She seems pretty licked...

When they get to the opening, Kyle greets Kim and gets pretty upset - I assume partly because of the fight in Hawaii and partly because of the fact that she's all fucked up again.  Crazy Ken does some controlling mind game shit on Kim, telling her to stay with him, but she flutters around like a drunken fool anyways until she comes to Adrienne.  Ah, the voice of reason...

Adrienne questions her gaunt appearance and general wobbliness and Kim explains she's off balance due to lack of sleep assuring her she has NOT been drinking.  Whatever - I saw that crazy bitch chuggin' hooch in the dirty limo about 5 fucking seconds ago (not to mention the shitload of pills she downed when they left their hotel.)  Adrienne is pretty concerned so she takes Kim to the john where they can talk in private.

Kim divulges that crazy Ken has a "very mean side" and asks her stuff like, "Who the fuck are you on the phone with?" when she's talking to one of her uber-blond kids and then calls her a "fucking liar" when she hangs up.

What?

Adrienne must've been thinking the same damn WTF thing as me because she goes and gets Kyle, telling her something is off with Kim.  Yeah, something's off all right!  They head to the other room much to controlling Ken's dismay where Kim tells her it's not working.  She says that crazy Ken makes her cry every day by making fun of her.  Aw!  That's kind of sad.  :(  Kim wants to leave him and move out but doesn't want to be alone.

She also tells Kyle here that she was up all night fighting with cuckoo Ken the day before Hawaii and that's why she missed the flight.  'Scuse me, flights (and a boat...and a bus).  She missed a few things.  Not sure if I believe her here - I feel like she lies a lot - not maliciously, more like habitually.

Back in the main room crazy Ken is asking Brandi what she said about him in Hawaii.  She tells him she called him a gay bull mastiff (lol) and laughs her awesome ass off.  He doesn't seem too impressed but screw him - guy's just such a creepy motherfucker.

Cut to the crying sisters.  Kim braces Kyle for some news and guess what???  Kim tells Kyle she's 3 months late!!!  She could be knocked up!  By crazy Ken!  Who tells her to fuck off all the time!  ACK!

Enter Shana Taylor and her shrink/escort/date.  Lisa asks her about a faint black eye and before Shana Taylor comments on her eye she tells them she wants to talk to all of them together.  Basically, she tells them she's sorry about freaking out 90% of the season and blames the dissolution of her marriage and the shittiness of her hubby.

Oh and BTW - During this time Kim's back in the bathroom and crazy Ken is banging on the door like an asshole bothering Kim and asking if he can come in.  Naw dude, you can't come in!  LOL  She's in the shitter, yo!  Slow your roll and go get a fucking drink.  Kim just keeps screaming through the door for him to leave her alone - it's kind of messed up.  Sucks to be the chick from Celebrity Rehab and Mauricio's ma - they're stuck watching and waiting and by the looks of it the seal's been broken, if you catch my drift.

Back to the ladies, at the table the shrink/escort prompts Shana Taylor to tell her story to the girls and she says that a few weeks prior Russell smacked the hell out of her (hence the black eye - yikes) and that was when she decided to leave him for good.  There's a big apology/cry fest and la di da - they're all friends again at the end.

It ends with Kim finally coming out of the john LOL.

Image Via www.eonline.com

Video of the Day! Allison DuBois' on Why She Was a Raging Bitch on Housewives of Bev Hills

Because she's a saucy medium...?

Nah, just kidding...This bitch sucks, eh?

I know that's a jerk thing to say with no explanation but if you've ever seen the Dinner From Hell ep of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills then THAT is explanation enough.

Well, dinner guest from hell, Allison DuBois, is finally speaking out on what appears to be her YouTube page about what went down that night at Camille's and why she felt the need to act like a complete bitch to Kyle and company.  The explanation is weak but you guys can judge this big mouth for yourselves.



BONUS CLIP:  This dude, KCSCougar, has one of the funniest YouTube pages I have ever watched and he threw up this spoof of the dinner in the aftermath of the fuckery a whiles back.  Seriously, watch some of his stuff (link above.)  It's a fucking hoot!



Image Via www.cliqueclack.com 

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season Two Update

The ladies of Bev Hills are back to filming, kickin' ass and takin' names!

The original gangstas are all back (thank god) including Kim Richards and Kyle Richards Umansky - Paris' aunts who totally aired their stinky shit at the end of last season in an explosion of TMI.  Thought Kim would decline - would've put money on it - but I would've lost.

But aye!  Two new "ladies" are coming to the party - Dana Wilkey (a friend of Taylor Armstrongs) and Brandi Glanville (LeAnn Rimes' arch nemesis and twit-pic feuding ex of her husband, Eddie Cibrian) - but the originals would've been more than enough, crazy-bitch-drama-wise!

Camille Grammer is in a custody battle with Frasier, Kim and Kyle are trying to unfuckify their messed-up sibling relationship, Taylor Armstrong just got divorced and is now citing Russell physically abused her, Jiggy fucking rules and Adrienne and Lisa will most likely continue to take being a businesswoman to a whole new level of awesome.

Not sure about this Dana chick - never heard of her - did a quick Google search on her and she seems to be a party planner/product placement guru who is engaged to a dude named John Flynn.  She appears to be somewhat of a BFF to Taylor and was even the one who planned that ostentatious party for little, unaffected Kennedy.

Brandi Glanville on the other hand is going to start some serious shit!  She is a pretty no nonsense model who may or may not still be a woman scorned after that idiot Eddie Cibrian humiliated her by publicly cheating on her with LeAnn Rimes and her low self-esteem.  She is also the one who was all buddy buddy with Cedric when he left the show after last year which I'm sure is a gnarly thorn in Lisa Vanderpump's sophisticated side.  No news yet on if he will film - hopefully we get a lot of that hot piece of ass Mauricio this upcoming season though - DAY-UM!

There is a preview available but you'll have to go to Bravo to check it out...for some reason Andy Cohen hates Canadians and we can't watch anything Bravo online - bastard! 

UPDATE:  Got my grubby little hands on the trailer - you're welcome...

Image Via www.imbringingbloggingback.com

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Cast Allegedly All Coming Back

It's been a real will they or won't they come back game since that disgusting display of wealth and bad behavior on the final episodes of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and now the latest...

According to a "source close to Bravo" they are all in for round 2.  Ding, ding, ding!  Get out your helmets bitches!!!

My main man Andy Cohen, rarely if ever confirms or denies anything to do with his ladies of the Housewives series, so it's still very up in the air but after reading all the previous shit about the future casting fate of the show, this news seems more legit than others.

It doesn't surprise me at all.  These gals are all about being famous and being a Housewife seems to be an easier route than learning how to act or getting in the studio and rocking an autotune machine like no one's bizness.

Actually, I take that back, Kim Richards (the only one that is actually famous for being an actor albeit 30 some-odd years ago - she's now mostly known for being the aunt of that bony bitch Paris Hilton) is one I didn't really expect back.  You see, she's a drunkass who was outed for her alcoholism on the finale by her asshole sister Kyle (amongst a few other tasty tidbits she probably didn't want the world to know) and apparently their relationship got all sorts of awkward after.

Jury's still out.  Until I hear it from Bravo or Andy I'm not going to expect the full cast back.  But really folks as long as that saucy minx Lisa Vanderpump is in with her baldass dog Gigalo, does it really matter?  Team Jiggy!

Image Via www.poptower.com

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion - Part 2

Andy Cohen starts off the second half of the reunion show with a bang.  After bringing up the fight between Camille and Kyle for the millionth time he turns to Kim and asks, "Is Kyle a bully?"

Well, Jesus Christ!  Why not just dig up their beloved dead mother and show her to them!

Kim dances around this for a minute before the Wicked Witch of Beverly Hills Camille chimes in, "I've seen her bully you, " like her shit don't stink.  This does not go over well with Lisa who is the only one who sticks up for Kyle.

When Andy confronts Camille about being irresponsible for the majority of her actions on the show she, for some fucked up reason brings up when she basically said that Mauricio is cheating on Kyle.  In her defense, she does say that she regrets being a megabitch and bringing that up but come on, I don't care if that stupid broad from Medium brought it up first!  Not cool, bizzatch!  Not cool at all!

Then we get into the Cedric situation.

Turns out Cedric is a big douchebag who freaked out on Lisa and Ken when he was moving out and totally turned on the Todds, only to come back the following day and demand money from the uber-rich couple or he would sell lies to the tabs.  Andy got his grubby little hands on a video of Cedric telling his side of the story.  In the video Cedric basically says he was sick of being treated like Jiggy and being Lisa's bitch boy, he accused her of changing when the show started and becoming a parody of herself.  Whatevs dude.  I'm team Lisa but mostly because I can smell a liar a mile away and something never sat quite right with me when Cedric was telling his story about his mother being a french prostitute and leaving him in a phone booth.  Yeah, I saw that movie too, dude.  (Ken later states that they did find out that some if not all of his tale of french woe was a sham.)

Now let's get into Taylor aka Shana, she cries about her icy husband and her marriage for the millionth time and let's us know that the trip at the end of the season was good for them.  Next.

Bring on the bitches!

The husbands come on out but who the Hell cares about any of them besides hot ass Mauricio, yum.  The sexy real estate guru revealed that women have been sending him racy emails and photos (it wasn't me, I swear) and Camille made damn sure everyone knew that she hired him back after firing him for being married to her arch enemy Kyle...it's all very mature and dignified.  Andy touches briefly on Handsome Nick and Camille states she's clearly having an affair with him just kissing him because she's Italian.

When Ken starts talking about Cedric it's quite poignant.  Perhaps made clearer by being surrounded in so much garbage and fluff but I really felt for the Todds at this point.  Cedric lashed out at this family quite cruelly, whether or not he was mistreated or not, he went too far by yelling at Ken that he "fucking hated his wife and his kids."  Harsh dude.  No need to bring the Junior Todds into this mess.

Andy strikes for blood with the sisters by again asking Kim if she thought that Kyle bullied her.  They cry and talk in circles about tough love and dominant personalities before Kim completely loses it.  Bawling like a baby, she admits that Kyle is tough on her and they fight too much.  Then we get to relive the damn limo scene.  This scene, and only this scene, is what prompted me to start posting about these pampered Beverly Hills phonies.

Thing is, the two don't really go into the limo fight and what happened after.  They simply keep stating and re-stating how much they love each other (almost trying to convince themselves) and how they won't talk about that night.  Andy must've been pooping in his Dolce.  God love him for trying though.

The dinner from hell is up next.  Now anyone who watches this garbage knows what went on there.  A whole bunch of bitch!  The ladies confront Camille about being friends with such a psycho and she cops to the fact that her drinking buddy said some fucked up things.  And according to Andy, the number one question on the Bravo blogs was if Alison was such a powerful medium then why didn't she tell Camille about Kelsey?  Camille says that she thinks the reading that Alison got on Kyle was about her.  Well, if that ain't a bunch of bullshit?

The show closes with some of the ladies regrets and they're fairly obvious.  Lisa doesn't have any, Taylor regrets saying she was going to "go all Oklahoma" on Kim's ass, Kyle regrets fighting with everyone, Adrienne has no regrets, Kim regrets being born fighting with Taylor and Kyle and the lovely former Mrs. Grammer regrets everything with Kyle.  Yawn.

It is kind of weird when Andy offers up the usual final toast making clear that they have cider as well as booze for the ladies to drink.  Poor drunk Kim.  Looking like a fool till the end.

Image Via www.popcrunch.com

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Finale Season 1 - WTF Was That???

So, last night I checked out The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finale and I have to say - these bitches have snapped!

The whole season was a little ho hum (especially compared to the ladies of Jersey or Atlanta franchises) and consisted of little more than a whole bunch of drama over a "Dinner from Hell" with some bitch psychic the show Medium was based on and of course, Camille and Kelsey Grammer getting a gnarly divorce.  Other then that there was some bickering between the Richards sisters (Paris Hilton's aunts) and a few marital problems between Brody Jenner's mom Linda Thompson's BFF Taylor Armstrong and her cold as ice husband.

SIDENOTE:  Something semi-interesting about this installment of Housewives are the cameos by 90s pop culture figures like Kato Kaelin and Faye Resnick, granted both were OJ Simpson trial made icons of faux fame but it's interesting to see them later in life. 

But the finale was an exquisite shitstorm of reality garbage culminating in the loss of a hot, gay houseguest and the destruction of two (almost three) families.

The finale picks up in New York at the Tony's where we see Camille and Kelsey being awkward and pretending nothing is wrong in front of their snooty friends.  Props to the Bravo crew for catching a masterful clip where Camille and Kelsey exit the limo on opposite sides making for a sweet, metaphorical clip of real reality.  They weren't allowed to film the red carpet so the next time we see Camille she is talking to a paid employee friend about how shocked she was when she went to the couple's lavish New York apartment and had to show ID because the doorman argued she was not the Mrs. Grammer he knew.  That brought the LOLs!  Ha!  Probably shocked the shit out of the stupid bitch!

So, the cat was out of the horny bag and she realized that she and Kelsey weren't going to work it out because surprise, surprise there was a new blonde in town!

Basically other than that the whole episode was a wash up until the final party where Kim Richards showed up hammered and Taylor started a whole lot of trouble over a whole lot of nothing.  When Kyle, Adrienne and Lisa all came over to see what the Hell was going down Kim felt ganged up on and started lashing out saying that she actually didn't like any of them...WTF dude?  Rude much. 

After a whole bunch of he said, she said Kim takes off for the limo to cry with that crazy looking dude Martin she is "dating" and whines to him for a while about how much everyone sucks.  Adrienne comes in, the only sane one on the show beside Lisa, and tries to comfort her drunk ass to no avail when Kyle bursts in.

Here's where the shit hit the fan!

Apparently the sisters have a whole lot of misplaced anger and they plan to take it out on each other by airing all their dirty laundry at once!  So, the gist of it seemed to be that Kim is an alcoholic who mooches off hot ass, superstar Realtor Mauricio and Kyle is a cold bitch who is jealous because Kim had all their mother's attention growing up.  Kim screamed out some crazy shit about Kyle stealing her fucking house - whatever the fuck that means and about Kyle being fake.  Kyle was hooting and hollering about their mother worrying about Kim her whole life (and death - ouch) and about how she had to take over caring for her drunk sister.

At the end of the whole mess, Kyle cut Kim off from everything and told Mauricio they were "done with her" as she headed out of the limo.  The title cards came up in usual Housewife fashion and said that Kim's family checked her into rehab (the tabloids say she checked herself out a week later) and that Kyle and Kim didn't talk for weeks after the fight.

It was a whole lot of crazy and God love them for it.  These ladies may just make for good TV after all.