Celebrity Rehab 4

December 5th marks the premiere of Celebrity Rehab season 4 - in Canada anyway - and as someone who used to think this show was a gross exploitation of the user celebrities who take part, I must admit, last year they hooked me.

The pseudo-celebs they had on season 3 had a few real ones mixed in and that is the only reason I started watching it - also for some unknown and possibly sick reason I feel an inexplicable attraction for Dr. Drew.  He’s sexy in a doctor-with-an-attitude kind of way, I‘d definitely hit that…but I digress.

I watched season 3 because Tom Sizemore was on it and I’m a huge fan of his.  I’m also for some reason super fascinated with the Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss - I highly recommend watching a doc or two about her - though a little hokey she is one interesting (and super smart) lady!  Throw them together in this house with sexy Dr. Drew and I was in.  Didn’t hurt either that Dennis “Hung like a Horse” Rodman was skulking around behind all the Heidi/Tom drama writhing in denial and a little self-loathing.

Tom Sizemore and Heidi Fleiss did set off a firestorm of tragic love/hate during the rehabilitation and were surprisingly candid, he brought me to tears twice…and I certainly didn’t expect that.

Season 4 should be a shit show as well but there are no real celebs here.  The cast includes Laguna Beach douchebag Jason Wahler, Tiger Wood’s #1 ho Rachel Uchitel, socialite train-wreck Jason “Gummi Bear” Davis and the self-proclaimed world’s first supermodel Miss Janice Dickinson.  There are a few others like Jeremy London (Griffin from Party of Five), Leif Garrett (who I only know from Dickie Roberts and touring with The Melvins but was apparently the Justin Bieber of the 70s) and Julia Robert’s brother who we’ll just call Julia Robert’s brother because I don‘t really care about him.  There are two more no-names that are just filling out the cast, taking up space.

Because the upcoming season has no one that can be considered a star, at one point it was going to be cancelled due to lack of interest.  For a Hollywood millisecond Lindsay Lohan’s name was thrown into the mix, I assume to create hype because bitch please!  Even though she hasn’t made a movie since 2007 - she hasn’t fallen so far she needs Dr. Drew all up in her bizness to make a buck.

I also recall someone throwing out the name Tila Tequila, but thank God that didn’t happen, she took her Shot at Love (probably right in the face) on reality TV already and now we are done with that crazy hobag…moving on.

So, tune in for this goat rodeo - even if you didn’t like the others, I didn’t either - it’s a rare peek into the lives of addicts in Hollywood.