Aw! 19 YO Courtney Stodden Breaks 53 YO Doug Hutchison's Pervy Lil' Heart

God damn!  Can't anyone find true loooove anymoooore?!?!?!

Famous Infamous teen bride Courtney Stodden has supposedly called it quits with old ballzzzz Doug Hutchison after 3 whole years of marriage.  Allegedly, she says she is moving ahead with a reality show to find a new man and he says he's going to miss the fact that someone that young and blond would actually let him bang her... (PS - I made that last part up.)

Ain't love grand?  So...effing...beautiful...

Jailbait McLiptwitch married Doug's pervy ass when she was just 16 and he was too fucking old to be marrying a 16 year old.  Though the split hasn't been publicly announced supposedly he has already moved out of their Hollywood home.

So sad when stupidly impossible relationships don't work out...For realz, I haven't felt this bad about a relationship since Kris Humphries was kicked to the curb when he wouldn't play with Bruce's balls play ball.

So tonight, we drink to Doug!  But stay away from my niece you pervy bitch!



And yes, I know this song doesn't apply to the post but the name's the same and Mr. Chow is my jam so just enjoy the shits and giggles and don't worry your pretty lil' heads about content and continuity.  I ain't no Babawawa.

Image Via www.mirror.co.uk

Happy Easter!!! From Courtney Stodden's Stripper Shoes!

Remember back in the day when we'd all chuck on our fanciest, clearest stripper shoes and just fucking THANK sweet Jesus that he was crucified for our sins!

Oh right, never happened...UNTIL NOW!

Yes, it's 2012 folks and it's the year of an informal probation Lindsay, of a moon base promise Newt Gingrich has been wet dreaming of since god knows when (what the fuck was all that about?) and of a less than impressive Housewife comedy show (Ugh!  Slade!)  Well, let's take a moment and think of Jesus while checking out what is now acceptable for an 18 year old girl to do on Easter!  (In case you're wondering what she's doing, she's looking for Easter eggs...in a forest...and under the hood of a shitty jeep - lol.)

Man!  I remember when I first found out I was an idiot when I was a kid.  This chick's up for a RUUUUDE awakening!  (Prediction - in a few years, she WILL have the largest Lucite shoe collection known to man.  BAM Coco!  Suck on that!)

Happy resurrection, Jesus!

(Sorry about that twit.)  Amen.

Images Via www.toofab.com

Merry Christmas! Courtney Stodden Style!

I'm not too sure where this slore learned to count, but for the last little while she's just been sitting around (prob nekkid) posting what her "true love" gave to her for Christmas on her filthy twitter account (yes, I follow it - you're welcome.)  We can all only thank sweet God that she's found time between porn tweets to do one of her infamous photoshoots for y'all to celebrate the birth of Jesus with!

Yay!  Oh No!

Here she is on Santa's lap...(she was asking him for a soul...and maybe a slutty sweater!  Holy Brrrr!)

Here's one!  Santa (I assume her hubby "Grandpa Pervert") carrying her half-nekkid ass around while leering at her like a 14-year-old boy...looks like a damn porn still!

HO! HO! HO!  Crotch shots for everyone!!!

Wow!  She doesn't even get it.

Anyways, Happy Birthday Jesus!  (Please ignore that one, she's one of our shittier examples...) 

BAM!  Snuck two more in there!  ;)

UPDATE:  Here's a video of the shoot that just surfaced.  She reads him her tweets.  It's disgusting lol.



Images Via www.celebuzz.com

Courtney Stodden is an Attention Starved Loser Who Wears Gowns to the Mall

That is so...stupid.

Girlfriend is taking her inappropriate style to the outdoor mall, yo!  Busting out her purtiest evening gown to pose for photos walk around the Grove with her pervert husband Doug Hutchison.

Okay.  So that happened.

She's pretty notorious for dressing like a hobag no matter where she be rollin'.  Check out a few of her greatest hits.

Image Via www.solialitelife.com

Here she is being all sorts of not sexy at a pumpkin patch.

Image Via www.crushable.com

Here she is attending mass in her finest metallic wedges.

Image Via www.crushable.com

Oh look!  Here she is on Halloween!  The pink dog makes it particularly scary!  Boo!  Yeah, right!  The only thing that's scary about this shit is the cautionary aspect of it.  God help little girls everywhere!

And keep your daughters off her damn filthy twitter!  Check this hobaggery out!

Secret Santa: Id love to lure you in by caressing 

my red lips up against your rosiness as my lustrous 

legs lie on top of your levitating lap.

Had such an erotic afternoon after being elegantly 

bound with whips & chains for a brand new foxy photo shoot... XOs

Tenderly trembling my tantalizing tongue up - 

down - & all around the sugarcoated candy-cane of Christmas! XOs

"Levitating lap?"  The fuck?  Somebody take this bitch's thesaurus away!  And what the hell is the "sugarcoated candy-cane of Christmas???"  

Aw shit.  It's a 50 something year old cock isn't it?

Image Via www.dlisted.com

Video of the Day! Courtney Stodden Joins The Real Housewives of Bev Hills (Spoof)

Ugh, why not?  The show is already all sorts of icky this season...

Taylor!

And does anyone know why this ho does that weird cockjaw thing with her mouth yet?  What's that about?  Is it medical?  Because if it is she should get that shit checked out.

Anywho, check out the spoof that The Soup did on what it would be like if child-whore-bride Courtney Stodden joined Camille and company:



Winky kitty face!  

Image Via www.ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com

Some Slutty Fashion Tips - Hosted By Courtney Stodden

Oh lawd!  This chick is still around?

Perezhilton posted the following list from Courtney Stodden (not sure where he got it because he never gives credit to his sources) about her "sexy" skanky look and how you can achieve it!

I personally take most of my fashion tips from 17-year-old married people who just finished high school!

1. A pink sundress is a must have! I personally love playing up the 'Barbie' look. When I throw on this baby doll, slip into some stiletto sandals & dazzle myself in some feminine accessories, I feel sweet & sassy!

Image Via www.perezhilton.com

 2. I love wearing a tight tank, ripped blue jeans, completed with a divine pair of high heels just about anywhere. I feel that this look can be suitable for any time of day - It exudes just the right amount of sex appeal, attitude and flair.

 3. When I wear this particular outfit, I feel a sense of relaxation & tranquility - There is nothing like saturating yourself in a very feminine set of soft sexy sweats for the day… (with a little bit of bling on them) …

Image Via www.blogzap2it.com

 4. I enjoyed flaunting my figure in Pamela Anderson's iconic Baywatch look. It's quite sexy - of course - but this look also radiates a certain unique quality that allows sportiness to play a major factor. I can appreciate that. This rendition was such an honor & a delight to remake. What a fun shoot!

Image Via www.popdust.com

 5. When I am feeling the need to take control of a spicy situation &/or be daringly dominant… I crack the whip in this vigorous police getup! There is no other feeling than putting yourself in a policewoman's shoes. Try it!

Image Via www.perezhilton.com

6. This specific outfit brings a certain special 'something' to the table for me - A hard rugged toughness - which I find extremely mysterious … it works great for a hot night out on the town. It's a statement.

Image Via www.perezhilton.com

What...an asshole.  And PS - that first shot is her in high school pre-marriage...no plastic surgery my ass!

Title Image Via www.usmagazine.com

Courtney Stodden and Hubby - "Pumpkin Patch Discriminated Against Our Sexiness" VIDEO

Video of the day!  You guys gotta see this!

In response to the backlash over being a pumpkin patch whore Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison went on Dr. Drew to 'splain themselves.

It's priceless.



Image Via www.socialitelife.com

Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison Booted From Pumpkin Patch for Being Pervs

Remember the good old days when you used to go to the pumpkin patch and bend over?

Soooo stupid...

Slutty child bride Courtney Stodden and her creepy older hubby were allegedly tossed from a pumpkin patch for acting "inappropriately". 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You guys know the pic, the celeb (with or without kids) goes to that pumpkin patch in LA that all the other celebs go to and try and get pre-placed paps to take their pics.  They all do it.  Well, Courtney and Doug tried to join in the photo op but were booted from the patch for making out like a couple of porn stars.

Apperently, some shoppers saw them behaving "inappropriately" amidst the pumpkins and complained to a pumpkin patch patrol unit, who then kicked the couple out.

Oh and side note:  Pumpkin patch patrol unit???  What the fuck job is that???  I never saw that job title on Workopolis!  Shee-it!  If any of you guys know how I can become part of this elite group LET ME KNOW!!!  I think I'd be pretty good at patrolling pumpkins.  Actually, fuck think!  I know!

But back to mister and missus hobag...

IMO I think the real reason they got kicked out is because homey decided to go to the heavily child-populated pumpkin patch looking like a damn slore!   I mean who wears hooker boots to the patch???  I'm all about doing whatever the hell you wanna do but dude!

NO!  NOOOOOOOO!

Seriously.  Stop it.

Images Via www.socialitelife.com

Courtney Stodden Proves She's All Real by Taking Her Fake Tits to the Beach

Everyone's favorite 17-year-old child bride must have ran out of disgusting tweets to write because she headed to the beach for a day of fame-whoring and self esteem building.

Evidently sick of her "haters" saying she's more fake than a three dollar bill she took to the surf in a teeny weeny white bikini and romped around like a child of sixteen.

Her husband, Doug Hutchison was in tow and he could not have looked more pleased with his woman, carrying her around and staring at her huge boobs.  He, for some reason, was fully dressed during the beach fun time.  Oh, and I'm talking FULLY dressed - looks kind of weird standing next to a hobag wearing heels with her bikini on the beach...but fashion is so subjective. 

Only thing these stupid pics seem to prove is that these two are a couple of fucktards with too much time on their hands and innappropriate beach attire.

Images Via www.celebuzz.com

Courtney Stodden Inks Reality Show Deal

You know there's times when I feel like an ass for spending thousands of dollars going to school for film writing...

This is one of those times.

Everyone's favorite twitter-slut, nay everywhere-slut, is still here y'all!  And it looks like she's kicking in the reality show door with her lucite hooker shoe - BAM!  Slut power!!!

Merv Griffin Entertainment (which is one of the big dawgs, yo) has signed on the child bride and her inappropriate older husband Doug Hutchison for a new show - RadarOnline reports that, "The reality show will give viewers a look into the newlywed's unconventional lifestyle and promises to be no holds barred."  

So...yeah.  That happened.

Image Via www.hollywoodreporter.com

Today in Courtney Stodden Tweets...

Um what?

Was she bustin' out strippin' moves on a ferris wheel because that shit is all sorts of WRONG!  Hope there weren't any kids on it at the time!

Correction, any other kids.

Image Via https://twitter.com/#!/CourtneyStodden

Courtney Stodden's Filthy F$%#ing Twitter Leaves Little to Imagination

What is wrong with this girl???  That's right GIRL - she's 16 and why the hell she spends all her time writing nasty shit on twitter is beyond me - I'm pretty sure her ass should be in high school...GO TO SCHOOL, HO!

Anyways, for those who don't know, she's the nasty little blonde meth face bombshell who married that dude from The Green Mile (who is 51 mind you) and she seems to think that being a full time twitter ho is her job - seriously, bitch is working those tweets like the rent is due (and like her landlord is a pimp).

Here's a few of the "sexy" tweets:

Wow dude - sooo sexy!  If you're into 16-year-olds!  EW!  And WTH is with the random church/God stuff???  Um, no!  Don't drag him into this hot mess!

And yes, I know I shouldn't talk about a kid like this but come on - you can't flash people with a bunch of dirty tweets and then say don't look or comment - that's what twitter is!

GO TO SCHOOL, HO!

Title Image Via www.news.softpedia.com
Twitter Images Via https://twitter.com/#!/CourtneyStodden