Jenelle Evans and Nathan Griffith Break Up...on Twitter

Freakin' shit show...

So it looks like resident Teen Mom morons Jenelle Evans and Nathan "Mongo" Griffith have ended their super trashy relationship just weeks after getting engaged.  Nathan appears to be the one who ended it via a couple of fuck you very much tweets.

Mongo no like!  Mongo feel mad!

I don't know what the eff happened to get Mongo's panties in a bunch but I do know that Jenelle's ex-husband Courtland came rollin' into town and some sort of trouble ensued...

It came to a head today when Mongo posted his above Me No Happy tweets and Courtland got all super sap and posted some shit about his undying love for roast beef.

Awwww...I'm kinda crushing on Courty B right now...

Jenelle hasn't replied to any of the boy drama but did just tweet and delete this >

Not too sure if someone texted him this (lol I have like no facts on this blog post - they're confusing y'all!) or what but Yowza!  Jenelle goes apeshit when he talks to another chick!  Looking at sexy bikini pics is, I'm sure, frowned upon.

Ugh.  I miss Kieffah.

UPDATED:  They are back together and have yet to mention the shit show that ended their union on twitter...ain't love grand?

Images Via www.twitter.com

Mario got Kicked off the Ramonacoaster

Real Housewife of New York's original gangsta, Ramona Singer, has filed for divorce from her hubby of 27 years Mario.

Allegedly, there was an epic fight out at their Hampton's McMansion last weekend when CrazyEyes walked in on Mario with another lady friend.  Jill Zarin A source called Page Six ASAP and claimed cops were called though no charges were laid.

Rumors of indiscretions had been plaguing the couple since forever and one mistress came out of the woodwork last summer, these recent events are what perhaps prompted Ramona to tell Mario to step the fuck off.

UsWeekly says they're already dating other people and supposedly fighting has just begun over their fortune and properties...Keep in mind, these two are some serious ass ballbusting businesspeople!  Masters of their universes...People who have their "eye on the prize" so to speak.  

Translation:  This is gonna get ugly!

Watch what happens...

Image Via www.radaronline.com

Aw! 19 YO Courtney Stodden Breaks 53 YO Doug Hutchison's Pervy Lil' Heart

God damn!  Can't anyone find true loooove anymoooore?!?!?!

Famous Infamous teen bride Courtney Stodden has supposedly called it quits with old ballzzzz Doug Hutchison after 3 whole years of marriage.  Allegedly, she says she is moving ahead with a reality show to find a new man and he says he's going to miss the fact that someone that young and blond would actually let him bang her... (PS - I made that last part up.)

Ain't love grand?  So...effing...beautiful...

Jailbait McLiptwitch married Doug's pervy ass when she was just 16 and he was too fucking old to be marrying a 16 year old.  Though the split hasn't been publicly announced supposedly he has already moved out of their Hollywood home.

So sad when stupidly impossible relationships don't work out...For realz, I haven't felt this bad about a relationship since Kris Humphries was kicked to the curb when he wouldn't play with Bruce's balls play ball.

So tonight, we drink to Doug!  But stay away from my niece you pervy bitch!



And yes, I know this song doesn't apply to the post but the name's the same and Mr. Chow is my jam so just enjoy the shits and giggles and don't worry your pretty lil' heads about content and continuity.  I ain't no Babawawa.

Image Via www.mirror.co.uk

E News is Reporting Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner are Separated

Ooooh, if they get divorced she is SO gonna change her name back to Kardashian...

E News (are they allowed to call this shit news?) is reporting that super fertile couple Kris and Bruce Jenner are separated after approx. 8000 soul sucking business deals and 22 years of marriage.

They put out this generic ass press statement >

"We are living separately and we are much happier this way.  But we will always have much love and respect for each other. Even though we are separated, we will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority."

I don't totally buy this because the fam does dumb crap like this to get press but with two teen kids I'm pretty sure they wouldn't do that.  Pretty sure...

Anywho, between the two plastic surgery fanatics they have 10 kids and a whoooole lotta money from suckers who buy shit like towels with their kids faces on it and lame ass socks.  A divorce would prob get ugly, they say family is number one but let's be real...  

The Kardashians are ALL about the Benjamins.

Image Via www.thesuperficial.com

Gorgeous George Clooney and That Wrestler Broke Up

There is nothing sadder than the end of the random love between a movie star and a wrestler...

Pffft.  Yeah right.

Sources (and by sources I mean the stupid internet) are saying that Booker from Roseanne and Hot Chyna broke up a few weeks ago but kept quiet about it because they didn't want everyone all up in their tear flavored Kool Aid or some such nonsense.

It's being said that Keibler broke up with his fine ass because he wouldn't knock her up with his sexy million dollar sperm.

I, for one, am SHOCKED!  SHOCKED that a man who is known for being anti-hubby/anti-babydaddy didn't want to get married and have kids!

Again...Pffft.  PFFF-FUCKING-FFFT!

NEXT!

Image Via www.lifeandstylemag.com

Bethenny Frankel's Divorce and Why it Sucks to be Jason Hoppy

Below the bitchy exterior and non-stop mentions of how damaged and messed-up she thinks she is, Bethenny Frankel is, at the core, a businesswoman - and right now she is in the business of getting divorced! 

Look out, Jason!!!    

TMZ reports that some initial "negotiations" have begun in the sawthatonecoming divorce of Jill Zarin hater Bethenny and her real estate hubby Jason Hoppy.  (Bethenny recently filed for divorce after just 2 short reality television filled years of BS and bickering.)  

Looks like she's really going for the 18-year-long jugular here and wants some serious swag for her and Bryn!  She's worth over $25 million but is apparently saving up for her next divorce or something because she wants HIM to support her rich ass...

She wants > 

"-Child support ... retroactive from the date she filed for divorce
-Medical, dental, optical, therapeutic, and orthodontic expenses for HER and her child
-Life insurance that makes both her and the kid beneficiaries"

Damn woman!  Pay for your own mouthguard!  And why would Bethenny still be a beneficiary on his life insurance?!?  Give the guy a break, man!  If Bethenny gets this and he dies shortly after, Imma be all sorts of suspicious...  

TMZ also said she wants exclusive custody of their home and primary custody of Bryn.  There is a prenup, so though she wants his cash, as far as she's concerned Jason can go ahead and take it up the butt with a bottle of Skinnygirl margarita because that's the closest he's ever gonna get to being part of her fucking empire.

Your move, Bravo Jason.

Image Via www.zimbio.com

Deryck Whibley and His Woman Dressed Up as Chavril For Halloween

Haha!  Chavril IS pretty damn scary!  ZING!!!

Avril Lavigne has been taking some serious public mockery for actually agreeing to marry the frontman of Nickelback, Chad Kroeger, and it looks like she may be taking some private mockery for it as well.

Her ex-hubby Deryck and his GF Ari Cooper (Mazel!) wore that shit (above) at a party on Saturday and Perez posted the pic Sunday.  Lavigne was married to Whibley for three years when she was too young to know enough not to get married so young.  More recently, she had broken up with the hottest damn man alive Brody Jenner.

BOOM! >

Shortly after her break up with that fine piece of ass she was allofasudden engaged to Chad.  Granted, I don't know Chad personally but I think that we can all agree that he certainly comes off as a big warbly douchebag poopoohead who makes us all a little embarrassed to be Canucks.

Proof in point >

Just after catching wind of the costumes Chad tweeted this:

"Hey Deryck loved the costumes! we were going to dress up as you guys this year but all the parties had celebrity themes haha! —CK"

HAHAHA!  That's not funny - but leave it to this mouthbreather to mock someone's fame level as an insult.

Such...a poopoohead.  

(Thanks for not marrying Brody.)

Image Via www.omg.yahoo.com

Teen Mom Farrah Abraham's Ex Daniel Alvarez Speaks Out

If you watched last night's ep of Teen Mom, you saw uber-bitch Farrah Abraham get dipped out on at the airport by her short-lived beau Daniel Alvarez.

Even though she's a nightmare of a human being, I'll admit, I felt bad for her.  Until I read his side, that is...

Speaking to E! Online, Daniel set some things straight >

"I did watch the episode and have mixed feelings about what appears to be my last appearance on the show. I'm disappointed to see that they [MTV] jumped from a lovely dinner to me ditching her in Austin, which wasn't the case," Alvarez insists.

"The breakup happened after our dinner and after a night out on the town. It began with Farrah completely degrading not only a helpless and innocent fast-food drive-thru attendant but also two of my closest friends. At that point, I chose to cut ties with her and after a brief but direct argument, I sent her back to the hotel with a close friend of mine," he tells us. "Farrah already knew we were done and that I was not planning on taking the same flight back as her. The cameras fortunately/unfortunately didn't capture our breakup, so that is why I believe it jumped from a very merry and high-spirited scene to an unpleasant one."

Alvarez also reveals that he never had any intention to marry Abraham, despite her pushing for a ring. "I've stated before that a healthy relationship has to be cultivated over time and cannot go from a few weeks of dating to marriage. And for me, marriage is a one-time thing so I'm not looking to take a leap of faith over a six-week dating session," he says. "Farrah's name calling and continued badgering of my name has no solid backing and comes out of spite towards me. Actions speak louder than words and we've all witnessed many of hers."

Ack!  I kneeeew some shit must've went down!  To not even want to take the same flight as her back to Florida was shady as hell, yo!      

Farrah defended herself on her blog calling Daniel "immature" and saying that he "needs mental help" lol!  Ouch!  He's since done a few more interviews with WetPaint etc. (hit up google) but they're all pretty similar.

Farrah's hot and all but a hot asshole is still an asshole, ya know?

Image Via www.eonline.com

Kim K's Divorce Drama Continues...Calls The Hump a Cancer

After getting married in a disgusting display of ostentation - racking up at least a $10 million wedding bill - looks like Kim Kartrashian and Kris Humphries are now on the hook for some hefty bills in divorce/annulment proceedings.

Kim's lawyer - supastar legal eagle Laura Wasser (think Brit Brit circa K-Fed) - says that her client has amassed a gnarly $250k bill fighting the Hump in court!

Essentially, Kris is the turd that won't flush...

Speaking of turds though, seems to me that Kim is the one who pushed for the wedding, Kim is the one who conveniently "fell out of love" 72 days after the union and Kim is the one who ultimately benefited in ratings and Benjamins from the joke of a relationship (even having the balls to re-film scenes for her show to make him look super-douchey.)

All the Hump seemed to get was a fucking headache, a bunch of late night jokes at his expense and a huge ass legal bill.

The source of the friction is that the Hump wants an annulment based on fraud as opposed to a divorce (for those who don't know - Kim and Kris both consider themselves religious - he grew up a Christian and Kris Jenner owns a church that the family tithes to < PS how fucking sketch is that???)  Anyways, because of his religious beliefs he doesn't want to have an unholy divorce under his belt before he even hits 30.

Getting an annulment is harder than getting a divorce though so the stupid just keeps going...The Hump even tried to trick Kanye West into accepting a subpoena by putting that shit in a Nordstrom box!  Hahaha!    

Kim supposedly said she is "emotionally exhausted" from dealing with Kris and considers him a cancer - she thinks that if outtakes of her E! shitshow "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" are played in court, they will show Kris as a "manipulative, vindictive, petty, fame-hungry jerk."

"It's all on camera and it's going to backfire in his face."

Bitch please!  Obvi, I'm more Team Kris than Team Trashbag Famewhore but I don't just blame her...Who the hell marries Kim Kardashian???  That shit's on him!

The case should be settled by May.  The lawyers are back in court for an update on Nov. 28th...

So...Way to waste resources, stupidfaces!

Image Via www.ranqer.com

Video of the Day! K-Stew's Confession to R-Patz (Spoof)

This is a little longer than it needs to be but brought a few shits and gigs...

BarelyPolitical's youtube channel posted this little ditty about Kristen Stewart's cheating ways and her subsequent confession.

She was DUPED, yo!  ;)



Image Via www.youtube.com

R-Patz is Chilling at R-Witherspoon's House While that Cheating Trick K-Stew Moves Out

Last week, for some effed up reason, the fact that Kristen Stewart kissed a director (cheating on America's fave vampire hottie, R-Patz) blew shit UP!

What's gonna happen?  Will he stay with her?  Why can't she emote?  Should she have been Team Jacob?

Well, Us Weekly seems to know whassup so here's the skivvy >

When the most talked about kiss since MJ and Lisa Marie happened sources say that Kristen came clean to the media first with that wonky apology, ...I love him, I love him, I'm sorry BS and he was pissed that she didn't tell him first.

That's right!  R to the Patz had to read that shit on Gawker or whatever!  LAME!

He then "secretly" (lol way to blow his cover douches) moved out of the house they've shared in LA for a few years and went to none other than Elle fucking Woods totally bitchin' Ojai home, Libbey Ranch...(the home she married the guy who wasn't Ryan Phillippe at.)

Evidently, the Witherspoon vacay home is like an oasis of awesome (pics below) and you just know that Reese has some good vibes going on - new hubby, Oscar gold, new kid coming, boss hair...Niiiiice!

The rag mag says Rob spends his days running, smoking butts and reading "everything he can" on Kristen's affair (that doesn't sound true at all lol!).  He asked her to move out of their previously shared home and she is supposedly staying with her parents.

In her defense, it's being speculated that the director in question, Rupert Sanders, was being a total asshat and was the one pursuing her.  People on set allegedly said they saw him staring at her - HA!  Dude's the director so that's pretty bunk - But another crew member said he tucked her hair behind her ear once!!!

I know what that leads to/means!

Ear fucking!

Kidding, relax Twitards...here's Reese's crib, but keep this shit on the down low - it's a secret! ;)

Title Image Via www.omg.yahoo.com
Post Images Via www.elledecor.com

OctoUpdate! Nadya Suleman is Single Again and Looking For Donations!

In today's not shocking at all news TMZ is reporting that Octomom and her piece, Frankie G., have split up!

Awwww!

It would seem that after three months of living in OctoWorld Frankie has been humped and dumped.  Octomom informed her gal pals that she was too busy to have a serious relationship with a greasy man who wears neon likes it's the fucking 80s.  (That's not a direct quote.)

As we all know, Octo is VERY busy with stripping, self-pleasuring porn productions and loan commercials.  Oh yeah, and she has 14 kids...that's a bit of a handful I bet.

In other stupid Octomom news, she has now taken to the net looking for handouts donations.  Sources say she's looking to get about $150K.  

In these ECONOMIC TIMES!?!  Dream on!

You see, she was evicted because she pisses away her money on cable and bottled water and now she needs a new home.  On her GoFundMe site, she has already received a whopping 6 donations ranging from 5-50 bucks.    

Now, obvi I don't want any kiddies to be homeless and shit but I don't know about this latest "moneymaker."  She needs to get an OctoJob, yo!  At least something with a modicum of security...

Good luck, OctoKids!

Image Via www.usmagazine.com

Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif are Separating...

Welcome to Beverly Hills...

TMZ is reporting that Paul Nassif (house hubby on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) is filing for separation from his housewife Adrienne.  He plans to do it this week.  It bears noting that other sites insist SHE is the one who left him.  Hard to tell what's true, but TMZ is legit - so Imma go with them.

TMZ says Adrienne knows about his intentions to file and though they've tried to work things out - they couldn't avoid a separation.  They have 3 kids, a huge ass mansion and a couple of companies...

(She kept all her Maloof shit separate because she's NOOO joke as a bizwoman.)

This comes on the heels of a bunch of crazy crap that's going on behind the scenes with RHOBH.  It's been rumored that Adrienne and former bestie/braless beauty Brandi Glanville are hating on each other like a couple of tweens.  Word on the net is that Lisa is using Brandi as a puppet to take down Adrienne in the public eye because she pissed her off with a few zingers or something.  The whole thing's getting messy and now sources say that lawyers are getting involved...Adrienne allegedly didn't even go on the obligatory Housewife Getaway trip this upcoming season because of the aforementioned "mean girls."

Not sure Paul was up for the shit show!

Here's the court papers.

Watch what happens...

Image Via www.bravotv.com

TomKat Settled their Divorce and is Playing Nice Now

But all those media jerks said this shit was going to court!

LIARS!!!

I bet it was gonna be a hot mess of Scientology and Dawson's Creek secrets too!  FUCK!  

When Joey Potter pulled the great escape and cruised away one day with Suri when Tom was out of town making Cock Rock of Ages, I bet she didn't think it'd be this easy...But while she was picturing dudes in bubble wrap following her around Hollywood in SUVs and shit all Tom was apparently doing was getting stellar negotiations ready.    

Earlier today, TMZ (who are not liars - Harvey's no joke) reported that TomKat have come to a settlement agreement in regards to their divorce.  Apparently, the main sticking issue had been Tommy Boy's access to she who is named Princess Xenu Suri.

Both lawyers seemed pleased in statements.

She was too tall for his ass anyway!

Still no sign of Pacey... :(

Image Via www.askamydaily.com

TomKat Splits!

APOCALYPSE!  APOCALYPSE!!!

This morning Posh Spice wannabe, Katie Holmes, filed for divorce from Tom Cruise.  It was almost as sad as when Tom Cruise filed for divorce from Nicole Kidman...(minus five years and with one less kid)...so not quite.

Princess Xenu Suri had no comment - mainly because the only word she can say is scientology MINE.

Joey Potter filed the papers after five years of matrimony citing irreconcilable differences and went after primary custody of she who is named Suri.  Apparently, Tom was blindsided by the filing and all sorts of shocked - his rep said, "Kate has filed for divorce and Tom is deeply saddened and is concentrating on his three children.  Please allow them their privacy to work this out."

TMZ reports their was some "nastiness" involved (yikes!) and that his hard on for scientology was a HUMONGOID factor.

Duh...

Marry Pacey, yo!!!!  I LOVE Pacey!

Image Via www.posh24.com

...And Johnny Depp is BACK on the Market!

First off, my condolences to his kids and Vanessa but second off...

YAY!!!

Yummy manhunk Johnny Depp and his longtime love Vanessa Paradis have split after months of rumors and denials blast through the internet - the two finally issued a statement saying they had split - it went the usual way of blah, blah, amicable, blah...

They had been dating for 14 years and Paradis got knocked up twice while together - they have a tween girl and boy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not 100% sure that I could land a Johnny Depp BUT -

My hopeful ass totally just got a teeny tiny bit closer...

I'm on Twitter, Johnny!  Hit me up, tweens looove me!


Image Via www.toofab.com

Married Tortoises Divorce After 115 Year Marriage

Turtles get married???

You bet your non-shell covered ass they do because these hot bitches Bibi and Poldi have been married for 115 years.  Sad part is, now they cannot stand the goddamn sight of each other - so they are divorcing...

Awww!

The zookeepers at the Austrian zoo where they lived tried everything to save the marriage - They tried games, aphrodisiacs and even marriage counseling.

What?

Aphrodisiacs and marriage counseling???  Where am I?  Is this a dream???  Splinter???

They knew it was over when Poldi kept biting her hubby, Bibi on the back...

Girl wanted out.  It happens.

I'm pretty impressed they made it that long though!  I wouldn't even want to hang out with myself after 115 years!  Gah!

Image Via www.shine.yahoo.com

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy Be Feudin' About Her Son

Ruh oh!

Looks like Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy be talking smack over 2 years after their break-up.

Here's wassup >

While promoting her crappy dating show, Love in the Wild, Jenny McCarthy inexplicably decided to take the time to throw some mad shade at her ex Jim Carrey.

Says the busty blonde, "I've tried to ask [Jim] numerous times [to see Evan], because my son still asks.  I haven't [reached out directly]...I tell [Evan] that someday you'll cross paths, meet again...[Evan's] been in therapy.  It's a process.  [Evan's] working on it."

Haven't reached out directly?  Then who reached out?  Did anyone reach out?  How the hell was Jim supposed to know Evan asks for him?  What the hell is going on???

Admittedly, if this is true, Jim should go see the little nugget if the relationship was/is healthy (he was in his life for 5 years - the kid is 10 now) but on the other side of it, it's a pretty dick move to throw Ace Ventura under the damn bus in the media.  Give him a call!  Don't do this!

Jim fired back with, "I will always do what I believe is in the best interest of Evan's well-being.  It's unfortunate that Evan's privacy is not being considered.  I love Evan very much and will miss him always."

Translation:  Keep my name out'cher mouth and don't talk about your kid's relationships in the media.

Your move, Playmate...

Image Via www.people.com

Taylor Swift 'Humiliated' John Mayer with that Bitchy Song About Him

Awww muffin!

John Mayer, notorious douchebag and singer, is crying foul, yo!  He thinks it is LAME with a capital fuck you that Taylor Swift got all public with their hot minute relationship after he humped and dumped her by writing the song, Dear John.

Mayer whined, "It made me feel terrible, because I didn't deserve it...I never did anything to deserve that.  It was a really lousy thing for her to do."

He also said he felt "humiliated" and that writing songs about men she's dated is 'cheap songwriting'.

Swift had previously said the song was written "sort of like the last email you would ever send to someone that you used to be in a relationship with."

Soooo...

Two things:

One - Don't date Taylor Swift and expect her not to write a song about it.  I don't listen to chick music but I know this gal's MO - putting dudes on blast is her thing!  It may be cheap but it's certainly not unexpected...

Second thing, wasn't Taylor Swift like 18 years old?  Dammmn!  If she still writes songs about high school shit #ShesTooYoungForYouBro!  Should've stuck with that sexual napalm Jessica Simpson was giving up!



Image Via www.2dayfm.com.au

Linda Hogan and her Boytoy Broke Up

Poor Linda Hogan...I hate her, y'all hate her, Hulk's fans hate her, Brutus the Barber Beefcake hates her...

And now she is alone again.

Yes, after four years of dating it's being reported that she and her boytoy - Charlie Hill - are no longer humping each other on stacks of Hulk's hard earned cash.  Aw!  Don'tcha just hate it when impossible relationships don't work out?

The two had just appeared on VH1's Couple's Therapy and apparently that shit don't work so they parted amicably deciding to no longer dye each other's hair platinum blonde ANYMORE!

Stay away from the Hulkster, bitch!  No rebound for you!

Image Via www.vh1.com