Following in the illustrious footsteps of “Jon and Kate” and “Sister Wives”, Sarah Palin landed with a bang on everyone’s favourite freak show channel, TLC. The highest show debut in TLC's history with 5 million viewers, now 5 million people can see 2012 from their houses.
It was semi-interesting if you like the outdoors, and Alaska is very beautiful indeed, but then you hear that voice tempering in through the credits, “I can see Russia from here!” she gleefully squeals in the opener as if it’s a badge of honour and not an international punch line.
She starts off outside on the deck “working” and Todd, who apparently doesn’t speak, comes out and stands there not speaking for a while well she bitches about the well-publicized guy next door who is writing a tell all about the family. She goes on and on about how he is invading their privacy and pretty much stalking them, though every shot they cut to of the dude he is sitting on his deck reading a book and keeping to himself. I didn’t see any cut out eye holes in the book for him to peer through and I certainly didn’t see him peeking over the top of the pages looking shady like a bad mystery movie. But whatever…Todd and his beer-swilling redneck buddies built a 14 foot fence to keep him on his side reading his book quietly.
Her stupid kid Willow, who looks identical to Bristol the Pistol (I would have thought she was in most instances if it weren’t for Bristol being in LA busy shooting DWTS and ignoring her kid instead of voting) makes many appearances. Unlike the others, who only made short stints on camera, Willow gets some airtime trying to sneak some jackass Andy upstairs while her mom is on the computer working. When Sarah wakes up from her work coma and realizes she’s been bested by her teenage daughter, she calls Willow on her Blackberry from about 15 feet away to tell her to come downstairs with her horny boyfriend ASAP! Can’t have another Levi Johnson in the family!
They go fishing for a while which Sarah pretends they always do, though the kids reveal otherwise when saying how cool it is and acting like it’s the first time they’ve gotten out and done something in ages. Todd doesn’t speak and she compares herself to a mama grizzly…blah, blah, blah…she really likes comparing herself to animals for some reason. When they return, again they bitch about the guy next door how much he sucks and how much they rule, and then they cut to the same footage of the dude sitting quietly reading his book.
Then it’s back to work! Sexy Sarah reminds us a few times that she has to juggle being a mom and working (which most mothers do anyway especially in these economic times) like we should feel sorry for her. She says that they do everything on their own with no help which I find hard to swallow until I see that she does her Fox News correspondence from her back yard so I kind of believe her. They even threw up a cardboard hick-style “Do Not Disturb” sign on the shed or whatever the Hell it is she calls a studio for effect. We get it. You don’t have to keep telling us how down to Earth you are. Message received and deleted. Inside we see the shed is a beautiful studio set up with an amazing panoramic view of Alaska behind her. She asks Todd a few questions about what she should say to Bill O’Reilly because she doesn’t want anymore “Gotcha” journalists taking her words and making them sound dumb. Huh? By the way is it weird that Fox News still calls her Governor? She retired from that job in 2009 to sell her coloring books or something, didn‘t she?
She allegedly banters with Bill for a while about important things and then we see her back to the outdoors she loves. After telling her father he should’ve climbed Mount McKinley and it’s not too late to put it on his bucket list as it is an Alaskan badge of honour and everyone should do it, she tries to climb part of it herself with less then stellar results.
Cut to her attempting to climb this behemoth! Apparently, she thinks all her pageant experience and political stupidity deems her qualified enough to try to climb part of the highest peak in North America. The guide takes her and silent Todd up and they walk along a glacier over dangerous crevasses (which they pronounce Cravases) and begin to climb part of McKinley.
The guide whips up the stony structure like it’s nobody’s business and waits for Sexy Sarah to make her way up…we wait…and wait…and wait. At some point a title card comes up and we see it’s been 45 minutes since she started, and I imagine this is the producers clever way of showing us how Sarah perseveres through it, how she doesn’t quit when things get tough! Well, holy shit! Get out the campaign buttons right now! This is an hour long ad for our future President.
This woman is going rogue all over Alaska and loving it!
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