Sean Young Should Win an Oscar for Most Pathetic Arrest

Oh snap!  Sean Young is effin' cray, yo!

Check out the stunt she pulled the other night at the Oscar party of Oscar parties, the Governor's Ball.

Here's the lowdown...

Sean Young (who was a pretty big deal back in the day - Blade Runner anybody?) got arrested for assaulting a security guard outside the Governor's Ball!  For those of you not in the know so to speak, the Gov's ball is a big effin' deal after the Oscars.  It's like a mixture of pretentious Wolfgang Puck cuisine, BOTH of Angelina's legs and usually Leo!  LEO!!!

Young was allegedly outside the swanky event she wasn't invited to taking pictures with A-listers on their way in - um, WTF, bitch?  I'd feel bad for her but I save all my pity for starving kitty cats, not washed up desperado celeb wannabes.

Apparently, Missus Crazypants nabbed some pretty sweet shots of herself posing with Saint Angelina of Pittopia and Sandra Bullock to name a few.  She promptly shared them to Facebook in a bold (yet super lame) power move and then the amateur paparazzi/former movie star was promptly placed under citizen's arrest by a member of Academy security.

Ha ha - Citizen's arrest?  People do that shit?  

Anyways, she had said she wasn't bothering anyone so they should just leave her the hell alone but when the guy grabbed her arm to place her under citizen's arrest (lol) she smacked him away...and ta-da!  That's assault, brutha!  She got released on $20K bail and insists that footage from X-17 will exonerate her.

Young continues to insist the Academy will issue her a public apology any day now...most likely the day that monkeys fly outta her butt.        

LOOK INTO YOUR FUTURE, LINDSAY!!!

(There.  That should scare the hell outta her.)

Image Via www.onlineathens.com

Guess The Celebrity Kids

Oh why not, eh?  Not much else going on other than Lindsay losing and finding her stupid purse... 

Your mission is as follows, correctly ID all 8 of the celebrity kids below.  That's it, that's all.  Answers are at the bottom so don't go all scroll crazy if you want to guess.  You don't win anything but feel free to go ahead and pat yourself on the back if you get 'em all right! 

This kid's mom is a lip-syching guru who had her entire face changed with surgery (to look like her hotter sister no less) and his emo dad used to be a rock star in a band.  Emo idiot.
 

This one has two of the most beautiful parents in the world and enjoys traveling, wearing ties and possibly holding impromptu UN-style conferences with her many brothers and sisters...If this kid grows up to look anything like her mommy, DAMN!  Her fine ass daddy better get a gun.

This kid's parents have both played superheroes (though pretty shitty ones) and were both in the flick Pearl Harbour.  Her dad almost married one of the biggest stars on the planet and won a debatable Oscar for writing when he was only 26.   

This one's single mother is beloved as all hell and divorced one of the biggest douchebags in the history of douchbaggery just last year.   She has moved on with her life and the kid and he moved on to cheating on the next idiot in another highly publicized break up a few months ago.

These two cool bros have musician parents (with one hell of a fashionable mother!)  These are the dopest kids on the block, yo!  And they know it!  It is a little depressing these two are always dressed better than me and there is nothing I can do about it...but SO CUTE!  Who cares!?!  Puppies for everyone!!!

This kid's mother got famous because she is the sister of someone who got famous because she has a big ass and a porn tape...yes that's right.  His dad is a damn funny tweeter of dick jokes and rocks a suit and a cane like it's no one's damn BIZNESS!  Dude shuts it down!  Every.  Single.  Time. 

These two little ones look EXACTLY like their divorced mom and dad and should thank their lucky damn stars for that, because their parents are H-O-T!  Their mother won an Oscar for her work in a biopic and their dad recently had another kid with a model he knocked up by accident.
 

This baby's mom's a rocker chick and her dad's a motocross legend.  She has the same name as a tree and enjoys drooling, licking plastic toys and breastfeeding.  Her dad was also on The Surreal Life with Janice Dickinson and Omarosa lol.  Epic TV.

ANSWERS:

Bronx Wentz (Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz) Image Via www.fuckyeahbronxwentz.tumblr.com
Shiloh Jolie Pitt (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt) Image Via www.people.com
Violet Affleck (Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck)  Image Via www.affleckgirls.wordpress.com
Louis Bullock (Sandra Bullock) Image Via www.radaronline.com
Zuma and Kingston (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale) Image Via www.x17.com
Mason Disick (Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick)  Image Via www.x17.com
Ava and Deacon Phillippe (Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe)  Image Via Fame
Willow Sage Hart (Pink and Carey Hart) Image Via www.socialitelife.com

Jesse James: I Felt Trapped!

Oh boo effing hoo, idiot! 

I got my filthy little judgmental hands on some excerpts from Jesse James' new book, American Outlaw, via RadarOnline, and I have to say - this guy deserves an award for his douchiness!  And not one of those bullshit awards like an MTV Moonman but more like an Oscar for douchebaggery!

Apparently, he felt "trapped" in his marriage to America's sweetheart so he started cheating on her...well, that's definitely one way to go...

Check this dumb shit out:

On his business:

“If I closed West Coast down, it would hurt Sandy. That was the catch. In the eyes of the public, my fate was directly tied to hers. So just like I couldn’t punch somebody’s teeth out on the red carpet, I couldn’t really fuck up businesswise, either, because it would reflect badly upon her, and probably affect her successful image.  You’re trapped, I thought suddenly. It came out of nowhere, but you’re trapped pretty good, aren’t you?"

On how he felt Sandra held his balls in a vice:

(When she asked him to lower the volume on the radio during a trip.)  “I lowered it. Of course I did.  That’s what any husband would do for his high-class wife. She wasn’t some whore in the back of a Daytona nightclub: She was a lady, with gentler tastes.  But in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but feel kind of cheated. It was like I was Huckleberry Finn or something, when Widow Douglas decides to adopt him. They were ‘sivilizing’ me, and I didn’t know how to make them stop."

On why he decided to stick his dick in a trashy Nazi "model":

“I couldn’t escape. Not even for an instant. Mentally at a loss, desperate for something to make me feel like I had some sense of freedom, I ran through the list of things I could do to assert my independence over my life. Infidelity, unfortunately, was at the top of the list.”

Oh reeeaaaly?  This is how this guy thinks!?!  No word yet on why he likes to pretend he's Hitler and/or why he decided to adopt little Louie in the midst of this fuckery...but I'll keep you posted with updates and excerpts as they leak...I'm gonna have a field day with this one.  Good luck Kat Von D!

Seriously, good luck!

Image Via www.evilbeetgossip.com

Jesse James and Kat Von D to Marry

Yeah, this sounds like about as good of an idea as when she got that shit tattooed on her face.

I'm a pretty big believer in once a cheater, always a cheater and this guy's a cheater!  And this mofo can't even cheat well!  Come on dude, who bangs a Nazi fame whore and then thinks she's not going to use the affair to further her - ahem - career?

Anyways - the two D-Listers have gotten engaged and will probably have a bunch of redneck kids together who they'll have to bail out of jail one day but hey, I'm all for moving on.  Congrats idiots.

I give them 3 months.  4 if she doesn't get fat again.

Scarlett Johansson Thinks Sandra Bullock is a Man-EatingTramp

Bitch please!

So now that Sandra B (possibly the most perfect woman on the planet) is maybe dating ScarHo's soon-to-be-ex husband, Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett is pissed to the max about it.

Whatever you dumb ice queen, Alanis should've kicked yo' ass when she had the chance...

The National Enquirer is reporting that a stupid source close to stupid ScarHo said "She still has intense feelings for Ryan and feels Sandra isn't respecting that at all. Sandra may be known as 'America's Sweetheart,' but she's NO sweetheart to Scarlett."  She also supposedly called her a man-eating tramp amongst other things.

Oh okay, let me just get my little violin out.  And Man-Eating Tramp?  Who the fuck says that?  Blanche Devereaux?  Come on now.

Barbara Walters Most Fascinating People are Especially Lame this Year

Babawawa knows what's interesting - that is if you're older than dirt and asking incompetent interns to let you know who they find fascinating.

The entire list hasn't been released but the names that have are:

Justin Bieber  - Pop singer and he who whips his hair and makes girls cry with gleeful delight
Jennifer Lopez - Entrepreneur and big-ass beauty - Is it 2001 again or what?
Sarah Palin - Former sheisty Governor of Alaska, Levi hater and comedic punchline
LeBron James - Basketball player and guy who pissed everyone off by choosing to play with the Miami Heat
Sandra Bullock - Oscar winning Actress, Jesse "dirtball" James ex-wife and foe to Nazi-loving Michelle "Bombshell" McGee
Kate Middleton - Fiance of Prince William (the less hot son of Charles and Di)
Betty White - Last Golden Girl alive and comedy genius
The Cast of Jersey Shore - Random dumbasses from Jersey who became rich and famous for getting hammered and banging chicks on reality TV

The final two are God knows who - I'm thinking Oprah and maybe a trainwreck celeb like Charlie "Teflon" Sheen, Lindsay or maybe stupid Lady Gaga (who will probably wear a dress made of orphans or something because she's so artistic - barf!).

Meh - judging by the list thus far I won't be watching.