Deryck Whibley and His Woman Dressed Up as Chavril For Halloween

Haha!  Chavril IS pretty damn scary!  ZING!!!

Avril Lavigne has been taking some serious public mockery for actually agreeing to marry the frontman of Nickelback, Chad Kroeger, and it looks like she may be taking some private mockery for it as well.

Her ex-hubby Deryck and his GF Ari Cooper (Mazel!) wore that shit (above) at a party on Saturday and Perez posted the pic Sunday.  Lavigne was married to Whibley for three years when she was too young to know enough not to get married so young.  More recently, she had broken up with the hottest damn man alive Brody Jenner.

BOOM! >

Shortly after her break up with that fine piece of ass she was allofasudden engaged to Chad.  Granted, I don't know Chad personally but I think that we can all agree that he certainly comes off as a big warbly douchebag poopoohead who makes us all a little embarrassed to be Canucks.

Proof in point >

Just after catching wind of the costumes Chad tweeted this:

"Hey Deryck loved the costumes! we were going to dress up as you guys this year but all the parties had celebrity themes haha! —CK"

HAHAHA!  That's not funny - but leave it to this mouthbreather to mock someone's fame level as an insult.

Such...a poopoohead.  

(Thanks for not marrying Brody.)

Image Via www.omg.yahoo.com

Avril Lavigne is ENGAGED to Chad Kroeger

Avril Lavigne was dating Chad Kroeger?

Ha!  What a loser!!!!

Well, fuck just dating him, now Avril is going to become Mrs. Nickelback according to TMZ sister-site, TooFab...

Um...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wasn't this trick like JUST dating my boo Brody Jenner a hot minute ago?  Honestly, I didn't even really know that they broke up and I'm a borderline stalker, man!  (I prefer the term supafan BTW.)

Yesterday (which just happened to be mine AND Brody's birthday - DESTINY, YO!) her rep announced via People Magazine that the pop punk poser got engaged to the too-damn-old-for-her-if-you-ask-me warbler on August 8.  He popped the question with a pear-shaped, 14 karat ring.  This will be her second marriage before she's thirty and his first (shocker!)

Kind of a dick move to announce it on Brody's birthday though, eh?  DICK MOVE!

Kroeger told Hello! Mag - "I knew I was falling for her. It was incredibly powerful and something I'll never forget."  He also said he feels "like the luckiest person alive."

Avril told the mag, "He makes me laugh every day. He takes care of me in every way and is extremely attentive."

Gimme a minute to roll my eyes back into my damn head.

Ugh!  I don't care how attentive he is...HE'S CHAD KROEGER! 

Thanks for not marrying Brody!

PS - Here's the rock for those of you into that...

Title Image Via www.justjared.com
Post Image Via www.toofab.com

Did Brody Jenner Dump Avril Lavigne? UPDATED: Brody and Avril's Twitter Response

I fucking hope so!  Brody is mah boo!  MAH BOOOOO!  I love him - have since the Princes of Malibu and in celebutard years, that's a pretty long damn time.

Anyways, I peeped 3 of the articles spewing this beautiful tale of bastard love gone bad and it would seem that all 3 have a different story to spin so I'm gonna take this one with a grain of salt until either one comments on the breakup.

Yahoo OMG says Brody dumped her ass because she was pressuring him into marriage and he wasn't ready...EOnline simply says a source told them about the split with no reason given (keep in mind E owns the Kardashians and Brody is - whether I like it or not - a Kardashian stepbrother, so maybe one of those bigass K obsessed siblings of his outed the story so Ryan Seacrest would ignore faltering ratings).  UsWeekly has the meatiest of the articles saying his (ahem) career was all out of whack from following her around on tour and that she wouldn't let him stay in the 'Bu long enough to get his shit together.

Avril and her people have not commented and Brody only wrote this on his twitter (right when the story broke about 12 hours ago.)

Oh, I'll relax all right.  I'll relax on your bed in some sexy shit until you come home!  RAWR!  I'm a canuck chick too!!!  Brody has dated Jagger Queen of Canada Jadye Nicole, some chick he calls Britney CanadaWhore AND Avril...

I'm SO in.

Call me BOO!!!  (But only after you get that fucking tattoo of Avril's name removed from your ribs!)

UPDATE 18/01/11:  Brody and Avril have taken to twitter and it looks like this is most likely false BOOOO!  Brody wrote last night:

To which Avril replied:

Lame.

Image Via www.uk.omg.yahoo.com

Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner in Brawl - The Aftermath

So in case you missed it (hit the link), Avril Lavigne did her best impersonation of a punk rock chick and got into a fight with some random at the Roosevelt the other night - she was with mah boo her boyfriend Brody Jenner and he broke up the fight (taking a bottle to his head for the efforts), stayed when she took off and talked to the popo afterwards.  Well, now Avril and some witnesses are piping up about what went down that fateful night at da club.

Lavigne says, "I don't fight. I don't believe in it. To clear things up I got attacked by 5 people last night out of nowhere. Not cool. My face is fucked."  Haha!  So succinct!  My piss poor luck is that her face is not sooo fucked that Brody would leave her and come be my boyfriend...but aye, that's a wet daydream for another time...

She added, "As in black eye, bloody nose, hair ripped out, scratches, bruises and cuts. So not ok to be abusive to others. Violence is NEVER the answer."

Amen sista!  I am soooo sick of this wealthy white girl on wealthy white girl violence!  Where are their It Gets Better videos!?!?

Image Via www.x17.com

One source is very adamant that, "Brody and Avril didn't do anything to start the fight ... [it was] just a bunch of drunk people getting out of hand," and another source (who peeped the fight) says Brody's attacker appeared drunk before the ruckus and was "running his mouth for no reason."  Apparently, the guy who smashed my beloved in the head with a beer bottle was talking a LOT of trash before things got violent.  He even called mah Brody a "douche!"

Bastard!  YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS A DOUCHE!

When the guy hit Brody with the bottle that's when all hell broke loose.  Bottle hitter's friends rushed in and attacked both Avril and Brody - Avril got pretty banged up and mah Brody got stitches. 

Image Via www.perezhilton.com (DUH)

God help that bastard if mah Brody's face is damaged!  I can go gangsta bitch in about 60 seconds - 30 if I've been drinking.

Title Image Via www.tmz.com

Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner in Brawl

Oh snap!  Avril is turning Brody into a bad boy!  A super sexyasallhell bad boy!

TMZ is reporting that Avril and supersexy Brody were at The Roosevelt Hotel on Saturday night (actually Sunday morning but you know kids) when the punk rock poser got into it with another chick.  When Brody tried to break it up he got a bottle to his beautiful head.

"Law enforcement sources tell [TMZ] hotel security broke up the fight and detained Brody and others involved. Police were called to the hotel and when all was said and done ... the police report listed Brody as the victim of an assault with a deadly weapon.

Our sources say Brody was the only one involved who spoke to police -- the other combatants (including Avril) had split by the time they arrived. We're told Brody refused medical attention and went to the hospital on his own.

No arrests were made."

She split on him!  If I were Brody's girlfriend I would never leave him!  And I would give him constant blow jobs so if anyone knows him and is reading this tell him to tweet me!  That's mah boo!

Seriously.  Constant blow jobs.

Image Via www.zimbio.com

Check Out Avril Lavigne's New Video - Wish You Were Here

Avril Lavigne's new video is out and is generally her crying her way through a lovey dovey rock ballad of sorts...the song's not too shabby nor is the video but God help her if it's about my Brody Jenner which it seems to be!!! 

I WILL throw down!

But seriously, please don't marry Brody.



Image Via www.coverlandia.net

Britney Spears New Video - She's Been Avril Lavigne-ified!

Britney Spears has released her new video and she looks...like Avril Lavigne.  Um, okay?  A little random.

Interesting, but I'm all for doing shit that will entice Brody Jenner I guess - so, go on, girl!

Check out the new video for I Wanna Go:

The Hottest Chicks This Year - According to Maxim's Hot 100

A Bungled and the Botched break down. 

Let's see...we have Winnie Cooper riding high sans Wonder Years at #80 but damn, looks like she was just inched out by JWoww's breasts at #78.

Miley Bird comes in at #64 but was sadly beaten by Vagina Vanessa Hudgens (whose vagina is all over the internet) at #54 (vagina!).  Our favorite jailbird Lindsay landed in her orange jumpsuit at #38 which was just bested by Canadian cutie Avril Lavigne (who better get the hell away from my Brody or I'll cut her!) who came in at #34.

Britney (probably because she's not bald anymore) is at the cusp of the top quarter at #25 followed by Mega Fox, who is down to #17 from #5!  Shouldn't have messed with Michael Bay, man!  NO ONE messes with Michael Bay.

The Black Swans, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, came in at #8 and #5 respectively.  Which brings us to the top spots - exciting stuff!  Pfft.

#4 goes to my lesbian crush Cameron Diaz
#3 is last year's #1 Katy Perry (gross - but I'm not a dude, so whatevs)
#2 was nabbed by Olivia Munn - shout out to the half Asians!  Whoot!
And #1 is the new Megan Fox (2.0 shit!) Rosie Huntington Whiteley who famously took over for the vapid brunette after she "left" the latest Transformers Movie

There you go horny dudes - the link is here for pics (y'know *whispers* for spank bank purposes.)  

Image Via www.deccanchronicle.com

Avril and Brody Engaged!?! STFU!

Celebitchy.com is quoting Star Magazine as saying that the Canuck pop star and her beautiful boy toy Brody are engaged!  But being straight outta the notoriously-wrong-yet-still-in-print-for-some-reason Star Magazine I'm crossing all my fingers and hoping this is just another lie.

A dirty, dirty, filthy, fuck you lie that is NOT COOL to those of us who think one day Brody may marry us!!!

The lying sons of bitches are reporting:

"On Feb. 9, during the duo’s whirlwind trip to Europe, the divorced singer, 26, e-mailed a bandmate a picture of her left hand with what appears to be an engagement ring - with the subject line “ha ha.” And insiders tell Star that Brody, 27, did indeed pop the question to his girlfriend of about a year. “Avril has hinted to pals that she thought Brody was planning a big surprise during their trip to France,” says an insider. “It’s just her style to be coy rather than coming out with an announcement right away.”"

If this is true it would be the second marriage for the young divorcee and the first for Malibu's Golden Boy.

I'm going to go throw up now.

Image Via www.fanpop.com 

Avril Takes Brody Home for Christmas

Son of a bitch!

Greeted at the airport by her brother and his wife, Avril and Brody have hit Canadian soil for the holidays!

After eight months of disgusting and clearly wrong love the two seem to be getting more serious spending the holidays with her family.

I'm sure he's just doing it for publicity...Right?  RIGHT?

Brody Jenner may Propose to Avril on New Year's - Barf!

X17 is reporting that love of my life Brody Jenner may propose to dirtball, poser punk Avril LaVigne on New Year's.

Noooo!  Don't do it, Boo!  I'm this close to getting on a plane and going to Hollywood to beat a bitch down!

The two have been together for way longer than they should be and according to his friends and his Elvis-dating mother he is head over heels.  Her friends, on the other hand, think he's a famewhore who is using her because she's a star.  Bitches please!  I think the Hollywood superstud would be just fine without her "fame".  If there's one thing Brody knows how to do it's bang his way into the limelight.

Hopefully, he comes to his senses and will ditch the bitch but as of right now the blogosphere is abuzz (and by abuzz, I mean featured on a few celebsites) with the upcoming engagement.

I have to go throw up now.