What the eff is with these Disney princesses going nutso?
First there was Brit Brit, then Lindsanity and now little girl lost Demi Lovato has fallen from her shiny pedestal of Disney stardom…
I know they have crazy ass fathers who make their lives a little well, crazy ass, but blaming daddy is getting old and I have to wonder what is it about the Disney star-making machine that drives these talented jerks to go cuckoo?
Britney, we can assume, went all crazy pants when Justin Timberlake broke her little teen heart, because let’s face it, Boy is FINE! Anyone would go a little cuckoo after losing his hotass. Props to her for getting better though, I thought she was dunzo when she married K-Fed and then went all Kojak, shaving her head in public. Just goes to show you anyone can pick themselves back up, strap on those titty tassels and get back to business!
Lindsanity blames her father, the media blames both her parents and in rehab they are probably telling her to blame Hollyweird…all I know is bitch needs to stop snorting coke and going for late night joyrides on the PCH. One of these days she’ll hit someone instead of a tree and become a chew toy in jail for some butch named “The Clitty Licker”.
And then there’s the newest little princess, Demi…a poor man’s Miley Cyrus if you ask me. A carbon copy of a carbon copy of a carbon copy.
Following in the footsteps of these illustrious assholes, she is now in rehab at 18. Allegedly for cocaine and cutting, like her predecessor Lindsanity, but in the press they say it is for "physical and emotional issues." By the way, what PR guru idiot came up with this one? When Lindsay first checked into rehab she spewed some nonsense about "making a proactive move to take care of her personal health."
SIDEBAR: Personal health? Proactive? The proactive thing would've been not drinking so much damn hooch you were found passed out in the hallway of the Beverly Wilshire, you stupid drunk!
And Miss Lovato's "physical and emotional issues" seems to be code for punching out one of her dancers for telling the Disney bigwigs about her hardcore partying - so basically some random chick told on her for doing drugs and drinking too much and she smacked a bitch down. They are also trying to say a Jonas Bros. (God only knows which one - points to you if you can tell one from the other) break-up was involved but let’s face it - JoeBro or not - no one really cares about them since Bieber Fever hit.
No conclusions can seem to be made from my ramblings aside from the fact that the house of mouse is a common denominator here…Hell, if it weren't for the collective stupidity of young Hollywood with their Paris Hiltons and Heidi Montags it could easily be assumed that they program teen scandal into these starlets along with the words to the Disney theme song. The boys seem to be a hot mess as well…but, aside from JC Chasez I don't consider them princesses…and that's really a whole other blog for a whole other time.
Image Via www.freedisneyclipartsite.com
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