Russell Brand's Goofy Ass Dumps Katy Perry's Quirky Ass

Saw this coming!  He's a skank and she's too quirky!  Skanky dude's can't control their dicks and quirky gets real annoying, real fast.  Like, damn bitches!  I didn't even take psych 101 and I know that shit!      

But some marriages just feel like they're going to fail, you know what I mean?  Like Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, Sinead O'Connor and that random dude, Tori Spelling and that cheater Dean Whoops!  I mean Britney and K-Fat...

Yes, it's not exactly shocking when some celeb couples bail out early...

This is another one of those times.

After a few months of Joey-and-Dawson-style will they or won't they (divorce not bang) shit, Russell Brand has filed for divorce from Katy Perry after about one year.  Allegedly, the two had been "having problems" and both have been spotted tooling around (emphasis on the word tool) without their wedding rings recently.     

He filed the papers today at noon - and since just after Christmas, their twitter accounts have remained tweetless.  It is the saddest fucking thing since Aldous Snow bombed with the heartfelt and unintentionally racist track African Child.

And speaking of Aldous, let me leave y'all with these EPIC words of wisdom, "When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall."

(Though something tells me Russell won't have any problems getting someone to stroke his Jeffrey...no problem at all...- seriously, guy's a mad slutpig.)

Image Via www.inquisitr.com

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