Nekkid Zombie Attack in Not Florida

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In surprisingly not Florida Pennsylvania last weekend some dude had one helluva night!  It ended with him gnawing on some poor chick's face while screaming like an animal with his dick hanging out.

It disturbs me that things like this can happen so randomly nowadays...

20-year-old Richard Cimino Jr. (no one date that guy!) was driving around at 5 AM when he decided to park his car behind some houses and get into his skivvys.  Cimino then decided to break into a nearby house where he got booted by the owners.  Then mofo broke into another house (an abandoned one this time) and was apparently so amped that he took off said underwear and jumped out of a second story window - this  "severely [injured] his arms and legs."

So now dude's nekkid and bleeding fairly profusely but does he call 911?  Nope.  He decides to go rippin' around in the streets of PA!  Bro thinks it's naked zombie party time!  But it is SOOO not!  

Then he met up with two unlucky broads >

According to a police press release, Cimino attacked one of the women and "began to gnaw" at her head while "screaming like an animal."

Thankfully, they got the hell away from him and called the cops but when the men in blue showed up he attacked them!  They stun-gunned his crazy ass and got him to EMTs but when they tried treating his wounds, he punched one of 'em!  What a dick!

Captain Crazypants was charged with two counts each of aggravated assault, simple assault, indecent exposure and criminal mischief, plus three counts of burglary and one count each of criminal trespass and defiant trespassing.

The police say that they do not know if he was on drugs but I feel confident confirming that he was because WTF dude?  

Lock him up!    

Image Via www.urbanmusic2000.com

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