Meet Rolo (pictured left)...he was just chillin' out being a rodent when the hamster shit hit the hamster fan one night!
You see, Rolo fell 12 feet out of a first story window which must've totally sucked, bounced off a "car bonnet" whatever the fuck that is and then got chased by a goddamn cat! It was NOT Rolo's day!
London police were nearby though - THANK GOD! - and they waved their arms at the cat and BAM! that little pussy took off quicker than Lindsay Lohan at the scene of an accident. One of the two officers assisting captured Rolo under his helmet.
But now what? Where the hell did this hamster come from? Whose fucking hamster is it? Why did Grissom have to leave CSI?
Yes, the case had changed to one of...A MISSING PET!!! Dun, dun, dun...
So the officers retrace their steps and they see a sign...A sign that hilariously says, Beware of Hamster. They got all Sherlock Holmes and put two and two together and the hamster was returned to the family. They hadn't even noticed he was missing! Self-absorbed jerks!
London's finest say that Rolo had a "hell of a night" and that in 12 years they had never encountered anything like this...
The end.
(Editor's Note: Sorry, 'sa slow news day what with the Olympics and shit...)
Image Via www.mirror.co.uk
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