Fred Willard Still Maintains His Penis' Innocence

I love Fred Willard!  His penis...I don't so much need to see though...

Well, here's what's going down with Willard's willie and so far...'snot great.

The gist > Fred Willard (famed comedic actor from Roseanne and Best in Show to name a few) was in an adult theatre a couple of days ago and he allegedly whipped it out and started whacking off.  Cops came in on a random whim to check it out and found the 78-year-old with his penis in his hand.

Whoopsie!

Now > Fred insists it's not illegal because whacking off in front of people is only illegal if the people around you are "offended" by the act lol.  That's a law!  I checked!  Obvi, his point is everyone was there to see peen so what's the effin' prob?

I gotta admit if there is one public place I wouldn't be shocked that someone was whacking off in, it would be - ding, ding, ding - you guessed it!  A porn theatre!

Willard has since been fired from his gig over on PBS but is vigilantly fighting the charges.  I don't totally get why he didn't jump online and spank it in the comfort of his mansion, but I also don't get why John Travolta doesn't hire himself ONE personal masseuse - Travolta has a fucking airplane parked in his driveway!  Why the hell does he hire masseurs on Craigslist!?!?!

But that's a WHOOOOLE 'nother thing...

When I was a kid, pretty much the same thing happened to this fucking awesome dude named Pee-Wee Herman...it effectively ended his career until he showed up in the epic movie Blow with Johnny Depp YEARS later.  Even that wicked piece of filmmaking couldn't save his ass though, and he's been rarely seen in mainstream since.

Here's hoping the same thing doesn't happen to Willard.

#FreeFred'sPeen!

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