Meet the Real Housewives of Vancouver

Ah!  The Housewives franchise!  The absolute obsession of many an otherwise level-headed woman and the bane of many an attached man.  Thing is, we're from Venus and made from sugar and spice and shit so we get the remote and we watch HOUSEWIVES!!!

Weaker sex my ass.

Well, get out your finest DSquared plaid ensemble and alert Celine Dion because housewives have hit Canadian soil, eh!  Bring on the Real Housewives of Vancouver!

First off we have Reiko MacKenzie - she's described as an adrenaline junkie and likes mixed martial arts and exotic sports cars.  Her hubby, a venture capitalist, and her have two kids, 8 and 2.  Her fleet of sports cars has been estimated at a cool million bucks.  Keep your eyes on this Japanese bombshell - her hubby was notoriously acquitted in the Vancouver gangland murder trial.  YIKES!  Mad drama in BC, yo!

Christina Kiesel is a twice-divorced "lady of leisure" with no kids.  She likes to travel and has visited over 30 countries in the last 4 years.  Kiesel considers herself somewhat of a chick hater so she has her very own Lawrence a la Sheree, her hairdresser and pocket go-to gay.

Ronnie Seterdahl is a luxury toy expert (such an asshole thing to call yourself BTW) who boasts ownership of four side by side homes on the exclusive waterfront in West Vancouver, a 200-acre vineyard in Napa, private jet, and a yacht. Her and her husband of 10 years have four kids (five with Ronnie's step-daughter) whose ages range from 5-23.

Jody Claman is a local fashionista (ugh - hate that word) and businesswoman.  She owns a very popular boutique catering to the other label whores, has a baby wear shop as well as a catering business.  The self-described Martha Stewart on acid is self-made and philanthropic, starting a charity to help fight hunger in Vancouver's infamously poverty-stricken East side.

Last but not least, we have pageant queen (barf) Mary Zilba.  She was Miss Ohio and a singer who has apparently had some "hits" like See You Again and Give it Up that allegedly plays on MuchMusic (our MTV) all the time. She has 3 teen boys and lives in a waterfront condo.  After a 17 year marriage she is back on the market and looking for love.

The producer promises lots of drama but I'm not so sure that sociologically these women are two peas in a table flippin' pod, so to speak.  I suppose I shouldn't be so presumptive and a little pretentious about our ladies though...

Throw a camera and some minor fame in anyone's face and there's no telling what they'll do to get a coveted Wiki page.  (Not to mention the fact that we DO drink a lot up in here...)

Cheers ladies!  See ya April 4th!

Images Via www.slice.ca