The fuck?
Little Suri Cruise, the first born daughter of Xenu, is a mere 5-years-old in human years but that isn't stopping the wee one from becoming the next Robert Munsch!
Random rag mag InTouch ran the "story":
"Suri Cruise, author? According to a family friend, the 5-year-old is currently penning her own children's book! And her parents, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, think it's so good, they plan to publish it when she's finished. "Suri is smart beyond her years," the family friend tells In Touch. "Not only is she writing the book, she's also working on all the illustrations. She is actually very talented for someone so young."
What? Who is this family friend??? I don't think she's spricken da engrish! "Not only is she writing the book, she's also working on all the illustrations"? Gimme a break! I will give Suri a million GD dollars if she can read one page of her mother's L.Ron Hubbard Handbook! I swear to fucking god I will!
The article continues, "And her parents couldn't be more proud. "Tom and Katie are careful not to push her too hard, but of course they think she is a little genius," adds the friend. Although Suri hasn't come up with a title just yet, the insider reveals the story is about the adventures of a little girl who lives in a big house in Beverly Hills. Sounds like more of an autobiography to us, Suri!"
Does she even know where her nose is yet? Granted, I'm no kiddie expert - ugh! Vile little buggers - but I did used to babysit for booze money when I was a kid and all the 5-year-old brat I babysat wanted to do was watch Spice World over and over again and eat chicken nuggets...Suri is no joke though, so maybe that's just how she rolls.
But hey, maybe I'm wrong here...I also think it's effed up to have a science fiction writer as a God so...it appears the Cruise's and I just ain't on the same page so to speak.
Image Via www.socialitelife.com
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