Oh Sarah Palin! You are just a dirty petri dish of controversy aren't you!?!
Joe McGinniss - the dude who stirred up some shit a whiles back for living next door to the Palins and "stalking" them is dropping his much anticipated tell all book about the woman who coined the dumb term Gotcha Journalism when Katie Couric asked her what she reads. Well this guy's Gotcha now bitch! And he's fighting dirty! The Enquirer has gotten their dirty little hands on a few snippets from the book and pre-released them so we can all jizz ourselves in anticipation of the actual full length...
Rumor numero uno is that Palin smoked dope in college...well la de fucking da! That's not so scandalous - doesn't everyone smoke pot in college? Unless she was smoking it with Obama while trash talking America I'm not too impressed with this one...
Rumor number two - She cheated on Todd repeatedly. Okay, here we go - this rumor's a little more naughty. According to the book, "Sarah carried on an extramarital affair with Todd's business partner Brad Hanson, and Todd dissolved their snowmobile dealership after he learned about the affair. Now 47, Sarah has vehemently denied cheating on her husband, and Hanson insisted he was never involved with the former Alaska governor. But according to [The Enquirer] McGinniss quotes a friend of Todd's as saying Sarah's husband was embarrassed by the affair, which occurred around 1996 and lasted as long as six months." Yikes! He had to dissolve his snowmobile dealership! That's so sad!
Next we have the rumor that she's a shitty parent. I think this is below the belt (though surprisingly I didn't think the last one was *shrugs*) but jabbing at kids doesn't really sit well with me - even if your kid IS Bristol Palin. The Enquirer says, "The book portrays Sarah as a bad mom and, in essence, abandoning her kids. McGinniss quotes friends as saying that when Todd wasn't there, busy Sarah would let the kids fend for themselves, and writes that daughters Bristol and Willow's meals often consisted of 'burnt' pots of Kraft mac and cheese made on the stove." Oh whatever! Fuck man, when I was a kid there was none of this damn coddling shit where kids ruled the roost and got whatever they wanted. I made my own fucking food a lot of the time - usually mac and cheese or shitty Mr. Noodles and I grew up (questionably) just fine! Even when I did burn the crap out of it! NEXT!
Oooh this one's scandalous! Apparently the first lady of Alaska snorted coke off an oil drum! LOL - that's SO Republican!!! "[B]efore she was elected governor, [McGinniss] states Sarah was seen snorting cocaine off an overturned 55-gallon oil drum while snowmobiling with pals. The book names a longtime associate of the Palins as saying Todd, who was arrested for DUI in 1986, used cocaine and "was on the end of the straw plenty." Well day-um! Who knew these Palin jerks liked to party like it was 1979?!? Get out the fucking blacklight!
Finally, rumor number five is that she allegedly has a fetish for black dudes and hooked up with NBA player Glen Rice when she was a sports reporter. That's not that interesting aside from the fact that she's a white chick who surrounds herself with white people who only hang around with other white people. "McGinniss quotes a friend as saying Sarah had 'hauled [Rice's] ass down.' While the pal coyly states: 'I can't say I know they had sex,' the friend is also quoted as saying: 'I remember Sarah feeling pretty good that she'd been with a black basketball star.'" Well go on, girl! Jungle fever that shit up! She wasn't married so like I said I don't find this little nugget too interesting. Fun fact - Rice is the dude who was married to that really pretty, bitchy chick on Real Housewives of Miami, Cristy.
So there you go, Lord knows what else is in the book. I don't buy this type of crap but if you're into it the book is called, The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin and hits stores on the 20th. I'm sure it's an EXCELLENT bathroom book.
Image Via www.amazon.com
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