Store Lindsay Lohan Allegedly Jacked Tried Make $ On a Book Deal

That is some shady shit, yo!

The stupid store that LiLo supposedly ripped off that ugly gold necklace from called some two-bit literary agent named Sharlene Martin and tried to strike up a deal with her saying they wanted to write a book about the high-profile theft case (alleged theft - don't sue me Dina!).  

Her Mickey Mouse company (I'm not being a dick here, click the link) told them fuck off they weren't interested and that the story was "...a moment, not a book" and also supposedly said "You shouldn't waste any literary agent's time.  Call the Enquirer if you want."   

Smells pretty sheisty to me...reeks of underhanded Lohan garbage and stinks of a third-rate agent trying to look good and get press.  Not to mention the stench of the store Kamofie & Co. itself (who has already sold the surveillance tape of LiLo to those sharks over at ET). 

The thirty second phone call probably was more like this:

Crappy Literary Agent - Hello?

Dina Lohan Store Publicist - Hi, this is Dina Lohan and I'm trying to make some jerk store look like a bunch of fucktards so that my daughter and I can go party - whoo, I'm Lindsay's mom!  I'm Lindsay's mom!  Whoops!  I mean...*starts using fake raspy voice enhanced by doing coke with her daughter* This is the store Lindsay allegedly stole that necklace from - wanna write a book about it? 

Crappy Literary Agent - What?  Who is this?  Hell no you crazy asshole...why would anyone even ask that question to a random small-time publisher who would later do something like use this story to get her name published on large blog sites like RadarOnline and TMZ?

Dina Lohan Store Publicist -*still using fake voice* We're just trying to get the truth out - don't tell anyone we asked you okay?  Because then we'll lose credibility as witnesses.  Wink, wink. 

Crappy Literary Agent - But I need good (and free) publicity too!  So no Dina!...I mean Store Publicist!  BTW Do you have Harvey Levin's digits?

Dina Lohan Store Publicist - As a matter of fact I have them right here...

END SCENE.

Who knows anymore WTH is going down with the players in this sick story?  I follow this shit everyday and I can barely keep up...I have to admit I am getting a little sick of the whole will she or won't she go to jail thing...it's all so Dawson and Joey circa season one and I'm not 18 anymore.

The March 25th court date is supposed to be the last chance to take the damn plea deal...just like the one on the 10th was the last chance and the one on February 23 was the last chance before that.

Gah!  Just stop breaking the law you stupid drunk driving thief...for Christ sakes if you need something to keep your ass busy then get thee to Japan!  Maybe it would do you some good to help people instead of hurt them.

(Alleged thief Dina...don't sue me.)

Image Via www.daylife.com