Florida Woman Gives Birth on Crack Binge - Chews Through Umbilical Cord

Wowsa!  That's pretty badass...

Thug Life!

Some genius knocked up 37 yo crack smoker named Chrystal (Sidebar: SUCH a hooker name) was just kickin' it last Friday with her man and her 11 month old kid in a motel room on a 24 hour crack binge when BAM!  Cracky McBadMother went into labor!

I hate it when that happens...   

Her stupid boyfriend Vincent had been running errands (possibly crack-related errands) so what's one to do?  Call 911?  Call the motel manager?    

Nope.  She decided to man up!  The lovely Chrystal got into the bathtub, popped the kid out and then chewed through the umbilical cord like a fucking rabid animal.

Who does that shit?

She did call Vincent but apparently he's also a genius and he had been pulled over for speeding while running his cracked out errands.  He would've been released with a ticket but once the cop ran Vinnie's ID he found out that he's wanted for attempted murder in Colorado.

lol Get the fuck outta here!    

After an hour Chrystal finally called 911 like a normal person and is now charged with child neglect.  The baby is now at a Gainesville hospital in critical condition and both parents are in jail where their stupid asses belong.

Image Via www.mynews13.com

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