Um, gonna have to throw a bigass whatthefuck out there on this one!
Once upon a time there was a man who had a polar bear for a pet. Essentially raising him from birth, they swam together, played tag and even tousled about on the lawn like a couple of questionably homosexual wrestlers...
...And then he ripped his owner's balls off!
Oh wait, that last part didn't happen...YET!
He's cute and all but he's a FUCKING POLAR BEAR! Why do people want these sketchy pets? Snakes, apes, ring-tailed goddamn lemurs! Just get a cat, man! They may be dicks but they *probably* won't rip your face off.
Try to ignore the shitty elevator music - I don't know what that's about.
(Story to be updated when man's face is torn off by his polar bear - I expect it to happen any day now but I'm nooo Jack Hannah - Mad respect, bro.)
Image Via www.youtube.com
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