Lady Gaga's "You and I" - VIDEO and Re-Cap

WTF is this???  Seriously, I don't know what this is...I'M SO CONFUSED!!!  I warn you, this re-cap is going to sound ADD as hell but that's what the video is, so crap is out of my control .  Hazzah!  

Gaga has unleashed yet another mini-movie video on her little clone monsters and as always we suffer the collateral damage.  I don't know why this woman can't just contain the fuckery for like, one video, because this shit is getting played out!
   
The country-style song plays out like a Manson video and starts out with some quick shots of "shocking" imagery and of course the obligatory playing up of the self-loving fact that she has a vagina - (though I still swear I see a disco stick tuck job in those bondage outfits).  Then she shows up all Annie Lennoxed out circa early 90s dressed in man drag *cough* another ripoff *ahem* scuse me, I had some bullshit in my throat I had to clear out.

Anyways, now she's in a crop circle type place singing to her Annie Lennox rip off doppelganger!  Maybe bitch is an alien!!!  Oh, no wait, she's just unoriginal and self-obsessed, my bad...NEXT!

Now we're back to the "shocking" Marilyn Manson-ish imagery - Beautiful People costumes and all...oh and now something else is happening...Cue the nippleless Gaga mermaid!  Shit is getting hard to follow!

ACK - we're at the 4:06 mark now and I pray this ends soon and this mermaid ho is having sex in a dirty tub!  Double ACK!  But wait, what's that you say?  Mermaids can't have sex?  Well, this is Gaga's world, bitches!  She does what she wants and apparently she wants to be a nippleless mermaid having sex in a dirty tub so y'all can get to steppin'!  (PS - Don't worry they cuddle in the end so it's not like dirty, meaningless mermaid sex - it's how I imagine Ariel and Eric may have fucked and then cuddled...All beautiful and shit.)

Okay we're at 5:45 and it just went silent...5:55 still no music...6:12 and we're done.  Wow, the last 30 seconds of a video that's silent?  That's deep, man!  Pfft!  

And BTW, what the eff is with these GD 6 minute videos?!?  Cut the fat, bitch!  I don't need to see every damn thing you're thinking...

And THAT is how you write a video re-cap motherfuckers!