Man Takes LSD, Dresses Up as an Elf and Attacks a Beamer

Fucking geeks...

Some nimrod in Oregon named Konrad Bass (cool name) was up to all sorts of questionable shenanigans last Tuesday when he took a bunch of acid, got on his best elf gear and hit the town!  More specifically, he hit some broad's BMW.

The call came into 911 around 7 am (who the fuck does acid at 7 am?  Get it together, dude) from a woman who said she was trapped in her car getting attacked by a "pirate."  When cops arrived on the scene the chain mail clad, sword wielding Bass informed them that he was in fact an elf who just happened to currently be "engaged in battle with the evil Morgoth."


He also told officers that the LSD he had taken may have been the reason he believed the BMW was an instrument of Morgoth, the evil villain from the Lord of the Rings prequel, The Silmarillion.

Lol.  Ya think?

They took his stupid sword away and Bass was carted off to the hospital and cited with criminal mischief.  

Bass, an avid LARPER (obvi) who writes fantasy novels under the name Konrad McKane (I'm not even joking) later said in an interview with Vocativ >

"I wasn't in my right mind.  I was still rocking my new pair of elf ears...I hopped on her hood and tried to pierce her tires with my master sword.  I was trying to prove a point.  Don't mess with a dark elf."

He claims he "mistook the car for a shapeshifting demon."

There is so much wrong with that hot mess of an explanation I don't even know where to start..."still rocking my new pair of elf ears"?  "Don't mess with a dark elf"?  Who saaaaays shit like that??? 

Bass also said in the interview that last time he dropped acid he turned into a dragon.

I'm not one to tell anyone what to do or anything but maybe this guy should lay off the acid...Or at the very least, stay his ass at home when he does it. 

Image Via www.gawker.com

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