The first ever Target opened up in Ontario, Canada a few weeks ago to about 100 waiting cold ass Canucks who just couldn't wait to get their Tim Horton's stained mittens on some moderately priced foreign goods. Some of them even waited since 5:30 in the morning! Gross!
The hell is wrong with people? I get back in the day when there was nothing to do but bang your cousin and gawk at McDonald's openings as they took over the world, but now there's Twitter and shit...and The Real Housewives!
Am I right, ladies??? Beverly Hills is ON POINT this season! #TeamYolanda
Anywho, the first shopper ever (a young stud of a Canadian muffin) bought the kid's movie Tarzan for some unknown reason and the second guy purchased a Michael Bolton CD that he told the reporter he enjoyed because MB's "beautiful voice" has always "captured him" and that he was going to listen to it for FIVE HOURS! That's like how they getcha to tell secrets at Gitmo, yo!
Sidebar: He bought Time, Love and Tenderness. That's not just ANY Bolton CD! That's like the fucking Use Your Illusion of Michael Bolton CDs! But five hours??? This guy's single, yo...
Another chick brags that she was one of the first in WalMart when it opened there but also opined that it was just like Zellers with the name Target. Duhhhhh! 124 more stores will be built by the end of the year so get ready to look at an even less diverse, more corporate landscape of store options!
Here's the vid > Photos/Video: Target opens!
PS - After watching this I have decided that I have no damn right making cracks about US crazies anymore because of that Michael Bolton loving doucher. My bad, I didn't know about that stupid guy...Trust me, we haven't been this embarrassed since Justin Bieber. ;)
Image Via www.twitter.com