A crazy huge Burmese Python was caught in Florida!
The python weighed 164½ pounds and measured 17 feet, 7 inches long - the scary motherfucker was found in the glades (look out Horatio!) and just happened to be all sorts of knocked up with 87 eggs!
The snake was euthanized and is now being studied at the Florida Museum of Natural History. Apparently, the snakes are hella bad for other forms of wildlife because they will grind on everything and anything they can find.
A snake expert (cool job) said that, "A 17-ft snake could eat anything it wants."
I'm no expert but no shit, Sherlock! I'm like, 5 foot fuck all and if I ran into one of these dickheads I would just let them eat my ass! I can't be bothered to outrun some anaconda-looking snakes...
If Owen Wilson couldn't do it, I'm sure my ass can't!
I probably taste like vodka a little bit though at any given time... #JustSayin
Image Via www.heraldtribune.com