I used to like Gwynnie - back in the Seven days and shit - she was all engaged to pre-Angelina Brad Pitt and making movies about dudes named Ripley and Royal Tenenbaums...but then - she changed.
Perhaps due to an abrupt break up with Ben Affleck or perhaps due to the infamous Oscar curse (who am I to speculate?) Gwyneth has turned into a bit of an asshole. And I'm not sure I like it!
Here's some choice quotes from the starlet that prove she's an asshole with a capital spoiledbitch. Thought I'd share...
"Even actresses that you really admire, like Reese Witherspoon, you think, 'Another romantic comedy?' You see her in something like Walk the Line and think, 'God, you're so great!' And then you think, 'Why is she doing these stupid romantic comedies?' But of course, it's for money and status." Oh okay, Shakespeare in Love! I've never seen that but it looks like a real piece of shit. And what the fuck was Bounce about? Come on now! It's like the pasty white skinny bitch pot calling the pasty white skinny bitch kettle black.
"When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat." Um...too easy?
"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin." Now, I've never had cheese from a tin but fuck her anyway. Macrobiotic bizzatch.
"Taking care of yourself is being there for your kids, like how on a plane, they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first." They DO tell you to do that! How does she know what they tell commoners to do on commercial flights?
"I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup." Fuck you bitch! I was RAISED on cup-a-soup and I loved every goddamn second of it! Nah, I really didn't but let's not be so melodramatic here - you'd rather die? Really? Who would run Goop and be an icy ho to Chris Martin?
"When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it's like, 'No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?'" Get a bikini wax in Paris? Wow! The day that I jump off the treadmill on my yacht and grab a quick vadge wax in Paris is the day I can die my friends! That's so ostentatious!
So, the moral of the story is that Gwyneth Paltrow is an asshole.
Goop that ya Goopy bitch! Yeah. I said it.
Image Via www.hypervocal.com
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