You know the old story - boy stalks girl, girl won't meet with boy, boy goes even more crazy and writes fake tell all book?
No? Well, that's because it doesn't fucking happen!!! That is until now...
Meet Marce William Burchell, he's a guy who has been celeb-stalking Jessica Simpson and her boobies for years. He's tried numerous times to meet her and woe her with his particular brand of crazy but to no avail. Jessica won't meet him and wants nothing to do with him.
So, what's a crazy obsessed fan to do??? I know! Write a book about their torrid affair! Yeah, that's right. This effin' tool decided his next move should be to release a book (30-pages should not claim that title in my opinion though) about his lady love and how SHE tried to seduce HIM!
Oh no he di'nt!!!
Amazon is selling the book (WTF? These guys just selling anything now?) for $29.99 - that's a buck a page - in paperback with the product description:
This is a limited Edition, prerelease of his upcoming TRUE LIFE book titled : " The True Story of Jessica Ann Simpson's 22 month long Attempt to Seduce a Married Man- Her Very Active Super Secret Sex Life" This is a True story of Romance, True Innocent Love, Deceit, Unfaithfulness, Graphic Details of Jesssica Simpson's Many Secret Sexual Affairs, Her Love of Revenge Sex and Manipulations of Men - Her Feelings on Tiger Woods and little Know Details of her Family. Only 10,000 signed by the author prereleases will be sold on Ebay. Those sold elsewhere will be unsigned. You will receive a detailed summary, of the true facts about how Jessica Ann Simpson from April 30, 2009 to Feb 2011 tried to seduce a married man, even while dating seriously Tony Romo and later engaged to be married to Eric Johnson. IT will describe how she cheated on every man. You will hear from her, in her own words what she felt and said in private to men. This is a prerelease summary of the book packed with true details of how she chased a married man and tried to seduce him, even at one point offering him $5 million dollars and all she had to for sex and marriage. Yes, Jessic [sic] Simpson just this February cheated on Eric Johnson and tried to seduce a married man behind his back. All proceeds will be donated to BPG Inc. to finance the first affordable electric car that will sell for less than a similar gasoline powered car at $10,000 ( after tax rebate). This electric car is designed to make all gasoline powered cars obsolete, can carry seven passengers and cargo, has a top speed of 180 mph, can go 300 miles per charge and accelerates from 0-60 mph in less than 4 seconds. These funds will put many Americans back to work on this laudible project to make America free from ever higher rising gasoline prices, and will make our land cleaner and freer for all."
Wow! For someone who never met her it's absolutely ASTOUNDING that he could write a book about her (with quotes from the busty one no less) and gain access to all this gnarly info! Astounding!
There's even a couple of reviews up on the book - one telling the writer to take his meds (LOL - ouch) and the other praising the book as "gripping" - though I'd bet my first born kid that one was written by Mr. Wonderful himself.
TMZ reports that Burchell even wants to challenge Jessica's fiance, Eric Johnson, to a marathon where the lucky winner wins the busty star's hand.
Yikes! Papa Joe is gonna wipe the floor with this guy!
Image Via www.amazon.com
No comments:
Post a Comment