4.11.2011

Celebrity Apprentice - Episode 6


Break out the sun tan lotion!  This shit is gettin' hot!

Last night on Celebrity Apprentice, the teams were challenged to think inside (or was it outside?) the box to create a street marketing idea for a sun tan company - Australian Gold.  The outline was clear, the execs wanted brand integration, use of the logo, tag line and their cuddly koala mascot featured.  La Toya would lead the women and Sugar Ray would lead the men.

Challenged with first coming up with a concept for their dick in a box advertising display, Sugar Ray got all jazzed up about pirates because someone said the word treasure (Johnny Depp fetish anyone?) and La Toya wanted fun!  Yes, I said fun.  La Toya used her peeny little idiot brain to determine that the ladies needed to have a theme of "fun".  Whatever the fuck that means???

Anyways, so now with their (ahem) concepts - they meet up with the folks in charge of Australian Gold...I thought Snooki was going to walk in with Pauly D and their "sick tans" but alas it was just some suits...boring Trump...or was it?

It would have been if Gary Busey (God bless his little crazy heart) hadn't told said suits that he was horny in so many words.  Bad Gary!  Baaad!  After telling the suits their product made him feel sexual (keep in mind this was in a weak bid to become their spokesperson - yeesh) and embarrassing the men one more time the teams peaced out and went to work on their boxes.

The men started on their stupid shipwreck box like they were in "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Has-Beens" and the women started their "fun" box.  NOTE:  It was pretty much at this point that La Toya determined fun=beach - um okay, not too generic and uncreative there dumbass!  She did throw a winter theme in last minute to make it different, but the team just came off looking like a bunch of jerks with mixed messages and weak marketing.

Oh and apparently, thinking is not the only thing La Toya doesn't do well, she also can't add.  With that asshole Star Jones in charge of the money and budget, La Toya continually wanted the numbers to suit her...no matter what they were.  Come back to planet earth, dude!  This is NYC, not Never Never Land Ranch!  Star tried her best to explain that 2+2=4 but La Toya could not comprehend it so she just blamed all the women of trying to eff her over because she is project manager.  Defiant bitches!  Why wouldn't they just go get the crapload of sand she wanted, strap it all onto Nene like she's a fucking work horse and STFU?!?  Gawd!

Both boxes went up and drew somewhat of a crowd.  The men chanted like they wanted it to rain, the women ignored their playmate and boasted lesser models in bikinis having...what else?...fun!  Mad fun!  When Don Jr. came to check in on the women, Nene wasn't exactly feeling La Toya as her fearless leader.  She not only threw her under the bus - she chucked the bitch!  In full on Koala gear no less!

Now, we're off to the boardroom...SPOILER ALERT - DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED YET! 

After some hooing and hawing from The Donald including chastising the women for not parading Hope (the ignorable playmate) around half naked - he announced the women's team had won!  Fun for everybody!  Wahoo!  The men were slightly shocked and I have to admit - so was I.  Sure, they didn't have a koala (strike one), they didn't really use branding to their advantage (strike two) and they had Gary Busey telling the execs how horny he was (strike three - Yer Out!).  But the raceless-looking La Toya can barely talk and walk at the same time...guess her team got her through...

The women went back to the suite where the Nene versus La Toya fight came full circle.  La Toya said she was hurt by NeNe’s comments in the boardroom and felt NeNe was personally attacking her. To which NeNe gave Trump a hard on by repeating the show’s tagline: “It’s not personal, it's just business.”  Nene went on to say, don't act like you’re the reason we won, because you’re not” adding if La Toya couldn’t handle the criticism she should “go in the bathroom and hide. Don’t try me – ever!”  She's right, yo - this chick would BURY La Toya!  I watch the Real Housewives and she'll choke a bitch down!

Extra points for Nene for when she blurted out, “I worked my ass off while you sat there and looked like Casper the Ghost. Disappear, ghost! The only reason you’ve gotten this far is because of your last name. You faked it for 50 years. You are very old and you need to be your age and not 12.”  Lol - "Disappear Ghost!"  So rude, but sooo funny!

But back to the boardroom, the guys do their best to get rid of Gary but Trump isn't stupid!  Who's watching this shit to see what Sugar Ray will do next?  Not too many!  But what will Gary do next?  Who the fuck knows?  And we are all watching his silly show to see!  When Mark admits that he was the one who pushed through the pirate theme it's over.  O-V-E-R!  They lost on theme - not because Gary was going around trying to stick his dick in everything...so with a sharp hand movement the Trump's hammer came down..."They didn't like the theme, Mark, you're fired."

Image Via www.herald247.com

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