4.11.2011

American Idol - Fattys in the Back Row Only Please - UPDATED


When Ashley Kauffman and her five friends got free tix to go see American Idol she probably thought, "This fucking rules!  I'm going to be able to lose my shit at American Idol LIVE!  Lose MY shit!"

But she was bitterly unprepared for what came next...

They made her fat ass sit in the back, yo!  They wouldn't let her sit with her skinnybitch buddies up in the front!  This...is a tragedy!

Allegedly, while three of her friends nabbed front row seats, she was told, “Oh no, you're just too big, too heavy to be in front!” and then a second staffer got all up in her fat face and said “this makes sense why you're not with the skinny girls. You're in the last row.”

Ouch!  Time for some sad girl candles and binge-eating...

Anyway - the chubby girl wants an apology (her possibly chubby father wants it done live) or else she's going all the way to the motherfucking Supreme Court with this shit!  Nah, just kidding.

Calm down honey!  Seacrest probably spits gnarly gizz all over the first row anyway - too far?  So I would just chalk it up to life sucks and move on!

To any of my obese readers - sorry about the fat jokes.  Couldn't help myself.

UPDATE 13/04/11:  American Idol has issued a statement saying that, "At 'American Idol,' we always strive to assure that every audience member has the best experience possible, and these allegations are simply untrue."  Ugh - and how's that work?  Do they hand out earplugs or what?

UPDATE 13/04/11:  Now the chunky monkey is on GMA yakkin' away about her horrible ordeal at the hands of a fat-hating usher at Idol!  This may sound effin' rude, but I don't think I believe her - chicks are crazy...who does talk shows when they're embarrassed about something like this?  Oh, and she's all sorts of shifty looking!  Eyes darting, story-changing, throwing media blame - shameless!

Image Via www.radaronline.com

No comments:

Post a Comment