Michaele Salahi's Man Neal Schon Posts His Dick on Facebook UPDATED

Christ!  Thank GOD that Michaele never went ahead with that fake surrogacy she was yappin' about to Harvey Levin a whiles back...the only positive thing I can say about this ho is that she never pro-created!

As many of you know, hot on the heels of escaping from the hot damn mess of lies she made with turdy Tareq Salahi, Michaele was able to find love again...very publicly...with the dude from Journey.  (Actually she cheated on Tareq with him so it kind of overlapped.)  Ain't marriage grand?

So I was thinking, Oh shit, dude from Journey!  Don't date her!  She's going to bleed your ass dry! but alas, she must put out a lot or something because he's continued wooing her bony ass and has been buying her copious amounts of panties and Bentleys.

But hold up!  Turns out HE may not be the sucker here...

Allegedly, yesterday Schlong Schon took down his FB account because he sent out a GD awful picture of himself pulling an Anthony Wiener and taking a peen shot in his shitter....BAHAHA!  Seriously, all you can see is him, his cock and the fucking toilet!!!  Priceless!  The kicker is, he was supposedly trying to send it to another chick!

The anonymous poster Tareq said, "THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, yesterday Neal Schon had to delete his Facebook account due to Michaele Salahi not liking the fact he is a major FB creep.  Neal Schon sent this picture to a married woman and her husband actaully [sic] intercepted it.  And now, it is my gift to Tariq [sic] to embarrass the hell out of Michael [sic] and Neal."

Oh snap!  The pic is embarrassing!  Dude's all tan and shiny, standing there in front of his toilet, trying to cheat on Michaele... 

(And sorry, I would've embedded the pic but Nik Ritchie's lawyers are no joke about that shit.  Just hit that last link.)

UPDATED 19/12/11:  Oh snap!  Schon freaked out and went all legal eagle on The Dirty.  The pictures and post have been removed.  Story HERE.

Image Via  www.newyorkpost.com

The Real Housewives Rejects - Where Are They Now???

Ever wonder what happens to a Real Housewife when Andy Cohen gives them the heave ho???  (Emphasis on the word ho.)  Well, wonder no more nosy people!  I've got the goods broken down by show and though some of them are doing just fine and dandy, others have been dealt a much shittier (and much less glamorous) hand...

Real Housewives of OC

Kimberly Bryant was an original gangsta on OC but left after season 1.  She moved to Chicago with her family due partially to health issues stemming from skin cancer though the OC Register ran a story about Scott Bryant being sued for battery (against a woman!  ACK!) at a party that seemed to be the real reason for the departure - who the hell really knows?  Bryant still lives in Chicago, and other than some charitable appearances and guest spots on the show, stays far from the spotlight.

Slade Smiley's ex, Jo de la Rosa, got a record deal from her singing on the show in season 2 (yeah right) with Immergent Records and her first album Unscripted was released in the Summer of 2008.  She told everyone that she was "...back in the studio working on her second album" and that "...her new single, 'A Good Thing' [was] due to come out in Spring 2010 with a brand new music video!!!"  It hasn't come out yet and it would seem her music career is now as defunct as her website.

In 2008 Jo played a "busty secretary" (lol) in a web series called Squeegees that aired online only and was in a movie called Changing Hands in 2010 where she played "Unaware Victim."  Check out the trailer - it's a fucking hoot!  Doesn't even look like a real movie!  She's not in it but for some effed up reason Kevin Sorbo is!  Other than all that, word on the street is that she is a waitress/bartender at a karaoke bar in or around Anaheim.

And oh yeah, on a reunion episode of RHOC, Gretchen Rossi admitted that Slade Slimey and his buddy (Jo's producer) talked her into buying De La Rosa's non-selling music catalogue (probably so he could collect a big fat check.)  Shady, shady...Movin' on!

Lauri Waring Peterson was on the show for 3 and a half seasons before leaving due to family obligations and basically her family life is just a big ol' mess.  Her son Josh is in and out of jail on drug charges (though as of 2012 it looks like he's married now with a baby), hubby George has a son who is also in trouble most of the time, his ex-wife (and Dennis Rodman's ex-girlfriend) Gina Peterson has come out publicly (and on YouTube - check that link out - it's crazy!) about George being a scumbag who's responsible for the alienation between her and her 4 kids with him and there was even some weird fake kidnapping thing with George's youngest Bria.  Other than her hectic private life, it seems a book is in the works for the former reality star.  She is still with George and living in Orange County.

Quinn Fry lasted only one season on the show but still shows up in the background every now and then looking like a dumbass.  She was last seen attending that nasty finale party this past season where Tamra Barney threw a drink in Fry's BFF Jeana Keough's shocked face in an explosion of reality TV awesomeness (wearing that damn blonde wig no less!  Burn that shit already!).  She claims she never knew why the show dumped her ass and that's probably true (Bravo NEVER states why these women are cut loose) but has always alluded that the other housewives basically voted her Christian behind off the island - some blogs say she angered viewers with her preachy 'tude - watch out Alexis! 

Best I can tell, she's stayed out of the spotlight since the show and lives in Balboa with her son Colin.  She is single (according to her Twitter) and works as an internet marketing manager.  She is still very close friends with Keough as well as Tammy Knickerbocker.

Speaking of Tammy Knickerbocker, she left the show after season 3 largely due to the passing of her ex-husband Lou Knickerbocker and the effect that his untimely death had on her two daughters.  After the show she started an entertainment company called Veriya.com that has since disappeared and she also did some marketing for Vicki Gunvalson's Coto Insurance.  Tammy started a charity called Housewives4Housewives which seems to have gone tits up as well and now all she tweets/talks about is some weight loss program called Final Inches.  She appeared in a spot for them in March and I'm thinking she works with them in some sort of branding capacity.  No other recent info could really be found on her though Quinn tweeted she lived near Tammy so she is located somewhere in the Balboa area.

Megan is apparently in nursing school and no word on what Lindsey is up to - she appeared in a video for hair removal so maybe she's still trying her hand at modelling.  Here's a recent pic from thedirty.com of Tammy and Megan and some pics of Lindsey getting her party on with some assorted skanks - including Lou's girlfriend assistant Christen from the show.  

Jeana Keough bounced in season 5 when shit started getting ugly!  She was quite vocal about her flailing real estate business and ended up moving on to another show on Bravo, Thintervention.  Keough reappears sometimes on the show and of course her nosy ass was the target of that damn aforementioned drink thrown at the finale party by Barney.  Her hots for relationship with Barney's ex-husband Simon has been what has kept her somewhat in the toxic mix though I don't think we'll be seeing to much of her on season 7.  According to her facebook page she is still in real estate and is dating Simon someone.

Kara Keough graduated from college, moved to Florida and is dating Jacksonville Jaguars Linebacker and UCLA graduate Kyle Bosworth.  Shane was released from the Kane County Cougars last year, lives in the OC and sells wedding packages from his mother’s Coto de Caza home (she rents out her home for weddings to make some extra bank.)  Little Colton Keough was selected in the 49th Round of the 2010 Major League Baseball Draft by the Seattle Mariners.  He will play for them in the 2011 season.  

Lynne Curtin was ousted after season 5 but showed up more than once in season 6 - she also made a bit of a surprise appearance in the lost footage episode where she tore Gretchen Rossi a new one for her bullshit line of handbags.  She was replaced by Peggy Tanous (again reason unknown) but methinks those bratty little bitches, Alexa and Raquel may have had something to do with it.  Those two were a lawsuit waitin' to happen!  Lynne is still hawking crap online via her website and though she had mentioned that she was going to have a new show when she got the axe, nothing appears to have happened with that.

The aforementioned bratty little bitches have only been seen on the internet in some gnarly pics (PS - that's just one of many) on thedirty.com being nekkid and looking stoned out of their minds.  There's even a YouTube vid (isn't there always?) of Raquel acting a drunk fool online.  According to Raquel's facebook she is designing purses for her mom between raves (people still rave?) and Alexa seems to be unemployed and out-slutting her sister seems to be her only hobby.

UPDATED 06/06/12:  Lynn announced that she and Frank will be divorcing after 20 some years...She is the one who wants to file and he seems against it.  Check it out here.

Peggy Tanous of season 6 is a non-returning housewife for season 7 after being showered in a season of negativity from Jesus Barbie, Alexis Bellino, herself.  Girlfriend held her own though...letting Alexis know that she was riding Jim long before she was.  Though it's not totally clear if she left or didn't receive a comeback card from Bravo (she says the former and Bravo hasn't commented) she will be missed - Like Lynn Curtin, she was a little bit of calm amongst a shitload of crazy.  She was in the premiere episode of season 7 - it smells like a "friend of the Housewives" type sitch, a la Dana Wilkey, personally I hope she keeps reoccurring.  She's good shit, that one.

Real Housewives of New York

Bethenny Frankel is the only Housewife MIA from New York and thank god she got the fuck out of there!  Jesus Christ!  That last season was so...ANGRY!

No secret where Bethenny is - she's on the goddamn cover of Forbes magazine.  She has her own spin-off on Bravo called Bethenny Ever After and is living the high life after making uber-millions on booze, books and her boob job.  She lives with her husband Jason Hoppy and her daughter Bryn in Manhattan.  She is starting a skin care line and also has a line of Spanx ripoffs.

Frankel is also generally responsible for making Jill Zarin and Kelly Bensimon's peeny heads explode with jealousy on a daily basis.

UPDATED 12/25/12: Bethenny Frankel and superhubby Jason Hoppy will be divorcing after about 2 years.  They have only the one daughter Bryn and from what I've heard a pretty airtight prenup.  No Skinnygirl money for you Jason!

In 2011 Bravo made a bold ass move after the reunion from hell and fired FOUR housewives - something unheard of in the series.  Probably Possibly due to just too much bad behavior, Queen of Mean Jill Zarin, her sidekick crazy Kelly Bensimon, teeth-obsessed Cindy Barshop who may or may not be a broke ass now because of her firing and poor Alex McCord who seemed to just get caught in some crazybitch crossfire.  This was the largest firing en masse and should serve as a cautionary tale to the likes of Nene and Teresa...Bravo only puts up with so much crazy before you're replaced.  And make no mistake - you ARE replaceable, Andy don't care how rich you are, bitch. 

Real Housewives of New Jersey

Dina Manzo peaced out after that crazy bitch Danielle's attempts to drive her batty almost worked.  Post gong show at the Brownstone (remember that shit?  Where Danielle showed up with Hells Angels guys and that goomba Danny called Chris Manzo a faggot?  Holy contain the fuckery, woman!) Dina decided it was in her best interests to leave the show before Danielle had the chance to skin her and wear her like last year's Versace.  No word on cute little Lexi - after the allegations involving Staub though - methinks Dina just wanted to keep her faaar away from any of the mess.

UPDATED 06/02/13:  Dina announced a December separation from Tommy Manzo (Co-owner of the Brownstone and Albert Sr.'s brother) on twitter.  During this time she also landed a scripted TV show Tainted Dreams which has yet to be picked up.

Prostitution whore AKA Danielle Staub was fired (though she insists she quit) from the Jersey series last year after two seasons of REALLY CRAZY shit!  She left for two new shows and has yet to hit success with either.

Wealth TV (which is apparently a station, who knew?) picked up a show called Social (that's creative - pfft) which is in the vein of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.  She plays a cuckoo, thinner, more orange Robin Leach who tours the homes of a bunch of no name celebrities.  The show suffered crappy ratings and it's unclear if it's going to be back on the non-station for another season.  She managed to find time to release two sex tapes and fight a few court battles in the meantime - one of which was brought on after she signed a stripping contract with Scores Clubs and reneged almost immediately after citing psychological issues.  Staub's crazy, criminal ass is now on VH1 on a failing show called Famous Food with has been Heidi Montag and professional whore Ashley Dupre.  She also "sings" and pretended to be a lesbian for a while but I'm not even going to go there...

Christine Staub is still modelling and Jillian (that poor kid!) is still being steamrolled into being a pop star.  Danielle even recently said that she had a song in the works with Justin Bieber - but that's obviously so fucking NOT true I can't even believe I'm writing it.  Jillian's father Tom Staub is fighting to gain custody of little Jillian because his ex-wife is fucking crazy he is worried about her and hopefully he wins - Jillian (and Christine mind you) deserve a better life.

Danielle Staub has since become a dial-a-star member but apparently it didn't work out too well because she's just filed bankruptcy...Ruh oh!  

Real Housewives of Atlanta

DeShawn Snow was recast almost immediately after season 1 of the Atlanta show allegedly because she wasn't ghetto enough was a snoozefest with a capital suck and I'll buy that - she was just a spoiled wife who sadly turned the other cheek to her husband's affairs.  After she was let go, Eric Snow left her for his pregnant mistress and she lost that fucking huge house they built and moved into on the show.  Meanwhile, her cousin was charged with stealing over $150k from the couple making it a pretty crap year for Miss Snow.

Oh and remember the pastor she was all about writing all those huge checks to because he was going to get her rich ass into heaven?  Yeah, well guess who turned out to be a the biggest piece of shit ever???  Turns out the pastor used the money given to his parish to seduce young men in the church with cars and jewelery.  Pedophiles make me SICK!  I hope he rots!

Snow's charities she was always harping about on the show are MIA on the internet and according to a recent US Weekly article she is looking to try her hand at scripted TV and hasn't closed the door on reality programming.  Good luck with all that lol.   

Lisa Wu Hartwell is also gone from the Atlanta series and is trying to go legit - she just finished a month-long shoot in Philadelphia on a murder/mystery film with actor/writer/director Charles Dutton called Must Be the Music and is also starring in an upcoming play at Ferst Center on the Georgia Tech campus called Stripped.  Hartwell left the show after she alleged many times that they wanted her to script parts of her life to make her character more interesting and she refused.  Only time will tell if she makes it as a real actress.  Her and her hot hubby Ed have since divorced, presumably over money issues, but neither will comment.  I heard somewhere she's now dating Theo Huxtable (Malcolm-Jamal Warner.)

Sheree Whitfield left the show in 2012 because it was allegedly so negative towards women (BTW - word! It's gettin' nasty in Hotlanta!)  Rumors of Kim Zolciak not returning for season five ran rampant when Wendy Williams announced she was fired but Zolciak insisted via twitter she would return for season five.

Real Housewives of Miami and DC

The Real Housewives of Miami should've just gone the way of DC and put everyone out of their misery.  There was some sort of annoying cluck-fest live reunion that basically hammered the final nail in their coffin in their first season...problem was, they had no Snooki-getting-punched moment - other than Christy Rice not paying for a charity event nothing brought any drama - merely yawns.

The Miami installment will be back on nonetheless for a second season - Andy tweeted he had faith in it or some such nonsense.  Larsa Pippen, Alexia Echevarria and Christy Rice will not be back but be prepared for a lot of mama Elsa on the new season - Andy really digs her for some reason.

The Real Housewives of DC was the first installment ever cancelled (and they managed to do it in one season no less.)  I imagine it was due to two things: 1) The show was too, for lack of a better word, "highbrow" for the usual Bravo Housewife fanatic and 2) They cast the freakin' Salahis in it - a pair who unapologetically crashed more than one political event and were responsible for basically stealing from charities and companies all the while smiling for the camera like a couple of constipated show dogs.  The formula wasn't there - you had all the drama but no one could relate.

(Note:  Michaele Salahi has since left her husband for Neal Schon of Journey fame and Tareq is suing them for $50 million...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Hell, it may have even just been too "real" for reality TV - and all that served to do is turn off people...and they, in turn, turned off their televisions.

(Last Updated on 06/06/12)


Image Via www.boston.com

Tareq is Suing Michaele's Sorry Ass For Leaving (And Humiliating - Natch!) His Sorry Ass

Neal Schon and Michaele Salahi have been livin' it up lately!  They've been spotted buying panties, expensive cars and rings...not to mention spotted making out (nasty) at Journey shows pretty much non-stop...

Fuck!  Her and Glee really ruined Journey don't ya think? 

But anyways, while she's getting Bentleys from Schon, turdy Tareq has been left behind to watch his partner in crime ex-wife spend another man's money and the two of them supposedly even sent him a dick pic of Neal's schlong LOL - they're like 45-year-olds WTF?  That's just effin' rude!

So Tareq isn't going to take it anymore...he's suing the hobag and her boo for $17 million!

BAHAHAHAHAHA!  Good luck with that one!

According to TMZ (I left the links in because I'm hungover to shit and I'm too lazy to link back to my own stuff but I do have a pretty good Salahi section so check it out), "Tareq's attorney just fired off a letter to lawyers for Michaele Salahi and guitarist Neal Schon -- claiming the adulterous couple profited unfairly off Tareq's misery ... and sabotaged his career in the process.

The taunting, the $10,000 lingerie shopping sprees, the onstage make-out sessions, the penis pics ... that was all just salt on the wound.

According to Tareq's lawyer, the large-scale publicity surrounding Michaele's affair with Schon skyrocketed ticket sales for Journey's most recent tour -- all while torpedoing several pending TV deals Tareq had previously made with his wife ... before she ran off with the rock star.

Tareq claims Michaele and Neal have since put the wheels in motion for their own reality show -- leaving Tareq in the dust ... with $2 million of debt.

Tareq wants $17 million to compensate him for all his suffering."

That ho ain't worth a mill but lawsuits and their outcomes never cease to amaze me at times...check out the video below to see Michaele and her boo have a big ol' laugh at Turd's expense.



Image Via www.dcclubbing.com

Michaele Salahi Not Engaged But Her Journey Boo Did Put a Ring on It

Listen really hard.  Do you hear it?  It's the sound of Tareq Salahi's fat ass quietly weeping...

And shit sounds GOOD!

Now as far as I'm concerned Michaele is no better than Tareq so they should BOTH be rotting in the GD gutter while Lindsay takes a drunk piss on them but I'll take one getting screwed over nothing.

TMZ is reporting that Michaele Salahi is continuing to get spoiled by her Journey Boo.  This time the skinny bitch suckered a ring outta him!  And not a crappy, fake, party crashin' Tareq Salahi ring.

Sources close to Michaele tell TMZ that Neal dropped $15k on a diamond cross ring a few days ago as a "message of love."

Aw!  Love!  Like the love that people have of touring wineries and not getting ripped off, or the type of love that requires MANY stolen bathrobes to stay hot and heavy, in this ho's mind love can also be the love of being relevant so much you fake MS...or perhaps it is the love that a fake child brings a happy couple via fake surrogate...I don't know...

What I do know is this poor sap is getting taken for the ride of his life - and she's enjoying EVERY minute of it.

Don't stop believing, buddy.

Image Via www.iblog126.com

Michaele Salahi Gets a Sweet Bentley From Her Journey Boo

Wanna know what sucks about being Michaele Salahi right now???

NOTHING!!!

Which sucks in itself because she's basically a lying criminal who rips off innocent people.

After buying Michaele about $10K worth of presumably sexy undies, Neal Schon has gotten his woman another huge gift.  A Bentley convertible!

Day-um!

The $350K gift made Michaele light up like a gold-diggin' lightbulb and she just recently met his family so...

Things are getting serious.

Sucks to be you, Tareq!

Image Via www.tmz.com

Neal Schon Bought Michaele Salahi a Bunch of Panties

Panty buying, wife stealing bastard!

After Tareq sold off all of Michaele's crap online, her new Boo took her shopping on Rodeo Drive with the rest of the brain dead label junkies who have more money than taste.  They even went to La Perla where she scored about $10K in new bras and panties.  Natch!  Really showing Tareq how much more money you have while simultaneously throwing the fact that you bang his wife in his face.

42 bras and 38 panties were purchased for the lying slore in various colours...

Your move Tareq.

Image Via www.rumorfix.com

Tareq Says Michaele is a Bathrobe Stealing Groupie Slut - Wants to Sell Her Crap Online

Aren't these two a treat!?!  Dumb and dumber...Beavis and Butthead...

I gotta admit, I always kind of did wonder what Michaele may be thinking while she was always staring vapidly into nothingness...turns out it was bathrobes.  That is fucked up!

Anywho, now you can own some of her bathrobe collection and maybe more!  Turdy Tareq is taking all that shit they stole over the years and selling off anything Michaele-related.  That's right.  It's a SALAHI BONANZA!!!

The online auction (this weekend) will include such tainted memories as his wedding ring, priceless art, bed linen (ew!), clothes, furniture, two original sculptures and...

The over 50 bathrobes his "groupie-slut wife" Michaele allegedly stole from hotels across the world!

What...an asshole.

Turdball says Michaele got so many stupid hotel bathrobes because she used to "...call housekeeping and demand a bath gown saying that there was one missing. So when we checked out we would not be charged for taking it."  Bitch is SO shady!

The mofo even gave the soundbite - "Looking back I know realize this is indicative of our relationship together, full of deceit, lies ... and bathrobes."  Haha!  ZING!

Tareq tells TMZ, he hopes selling it all off "will help bring closure to this ridiculous situation I am in."

Well yes, the sitch is ridiculous but let's not make it any worse, dude!  Just go away.

Oh, and take that dickhead Michael Lohan with you when you go.



Image Via www.blogstodiefor.com

Tareq Salahi Giving Away his Heart on New TV Dating Show

Puh-lease!  His wife doesn't even want to hang around with him anymore!  That ho took off with freakin' Journey to get away from his criminal ass!

So why would anyone want to date him?

To be on TV of course!!!

Tareq Salahi Sources close to Tareq Salahi have told TMZ he is hocking a new relationship show out to "various networks".  It will be called Seducing Salahi.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  What?  If they gave out awards for being a total fucking loser this guy would get one.  Hands down.  

14 women would compete for his chubby, lying heart Flava of Love style and the competition would take place on the winery that he sells fake tours to.  

Apparently "several networks are interested" so...that sucks.

Image Via www.therealityfuzz.com

The Real Housewives Music Machine - Who Sold the Most Copies of Their "Music"?

Do you ever wonder who the top dawg is in terms of Housewives "music"???  Who sells and who flops?

Well, neither do I but I stumbled across a list while cruising around Perez's crappy, inaccurate website and since I have some readers who, like me, bleed anything Housewives I thought I'd share... 

Taking the top spot with 101K downloads is blonde-wigged, Big Poppa loving, money grubbing songstress Kim Zolciak with her dance tune Tardy for the Party.  Not a big surprise - but perhaps props should go more to Kandi Burruss than Kimbo - her production value on the track was priceless and it would've sucked ballz if Kim had just done the original track the way the old dude had it.

Countess LuAnn de lesseps comes in second, selling a dismal 19K downloads with her Money Can't Buy You Class.  Apparently, money CAN'T buy you class, or any dignity for that matter!  Too bad LuMann hooked up with resident crazies Jill and Kelly because she was much more likable before those two piranhas got their designer-loving, name-dropping hooks into her...maybe she'll go back to being more tolerable if Jillousy and Cuckoo Kelly get dumped this season like their BFF Rob Shuter reports, but methinks it's too late for her to save herself from the big old mess that took place last season.  I don't have the numbers for the other tune, Chic C'est la Vie - but I imagine they're not much better.   

New Jersey Housewife Melissa Gorga scored 8K downloads with her dance track On Display.  But hers hasn't been out for very long in comparison to the others.  Her song is one of the most tolerable (along with Kimbo's) so I'm not even tryin' to hate on her - she seems like a pretty cool chick actually - but maybe I've been watching assholes too long on that particular installment...not naming any names here but they rhyme with Shmermesa and Banielle... 

Miss Photoglou Gretchen Rossi sold a sucky 5K for that god awful Nothing Without You love song.  I'll give her a break here because I do feel bad that she lost her sugardaddy to cancer - that's a helluva disease...but I DO wish she'd come clean about Jay - I've seen the pics, jerk!  Can't really lie your way out of picture proof (though she keeps trying.)  No word on what Revelation sold though she promoted that track much more so it prob did better. 

Next up we have Danielle Staub with that piece of garbage - Real Close.  That sucker sold 3K downloads and really, really blew.  Like, if you could get a Grammy for Shittiest Song, she probably would've won it.  I also hate that she was all faux lesbian during the release of the song...so sick.  Dumbass!

Simon van Kempen's I Am Real sold 1K, and yeah I realize he's not a housewife but he may as well fucking be!  I don't mind Simon at all but girlfriend is ALL about the show eh?  I swear he gets more camera time than that bore Cindy.  But in my opinion, that's not necessarily a bad thing...

Michaele Salahi's Bump It was downloaded less than all of the above with a pathetic 122.  Yikes!  I could probably sell more than that if I made a track of my cat meowing while I eat Cheetos.  She's a pretty hated woman though and though it's admittedly a little fun to watch these bitches make asses of themselves on TV - we don't exactly want to HEAR them make asses of themselves on a song.  Not so hot!  Maybe now that she's bounced from Turdball Tareq for the dude from Journey she'll get more respect in the music industry...nah probably not! 

We'll see how many more crappy songs these guys can push out during their "fame" run - Just remember what happened when Jo thought her shit didn't stink and went off to conquer the music world, ladies!  Nothing!

Image Via www.crackbillionair.wordpress.com

Michael Lohan is Easing Tareq Salahi's Break-Up Pain - VIDEO

Oh good!  Because that guy's not crazy at all!  (Rolling eyes.)

TMZ posted a video of Tareq and his new bestie Michael chumming it up at a restaurant.  The pap got in some good q's and Tareq told him how he felt "betrayed."  Ha!  Karma's a bitch, dude!  Tareq has betrayed a shitload of people in the past!  Stealing money, time, charitable donations and America's damn dignity by generally being an all-around criminal.

Oh and note Papa Lohan's face in the background...homie doesn't look too impressed that his new BFF won't STFU.  This is all a little funky smelling because there had been some sort of brouhaha a while back on Celebrity Rehab wherein Michael said Tareq and his idiot wife (at the time) stiffed him on rent or something but Michael's whole deal is attaching himself to whoever D-lister is getting publicity at the moment...remember his hot second with Jon Gosselin???  The fuck was THAT about?



Image Via www.okmagazine.com

Tareq Salahi Says Michaele Was Kidnapped UPDATED: She Took Off With a Dude From Journey

But what about that fake baby they were going to hire a fake surrogate to fake have!!!     

Tareq Salahi has been making the media rounds to talk about how his wife Michaele was kidnapped last Tuesday by an unknown abductor.  Not too sure what he thinks Harvey Levin and Inside Edition are going to do for him but he sure does enjoy himself some free press doesn't he!  Even in the midst of a kidnapping he's selling stories!  That's sooo fucked up but at this point I expect nothing less from the chubby, lying bastard and his idiot wife.

Tareq says Michaele called late last night and told him she was going to her mother's house.  For some unknown reason he was suspicious and called her mama who said she "was unaware of [these] plans."  Tareq then called the Sheriff's Dept. crying wolf kidnapping!

Tareq says the cops told him that Michaele had already called them and told them she was OK and just dealing with some "family issues."  Hmmm - sketchfest!

So, now the crazy asshole is alleging that the fake abductors are making Michaele make all these calls to throw lawdogs off her bleach blond, party crashing scent. 

Tareq made the following statement to the public:

"We are reaching to the public pleaing [sic] desperately for your help.  It is our belief as of last night, that Michaele Salahi may have been kidnapped or abducted and being held under duress and forced to tell persons, including authorities she is okay.

We are asking the public to please be on the look out for her, and if found please contact the authorities and please approach her and contact the authorities to intervene and that she may be forced to say she is okay, when in fact she is not and being held under possible abduction.

The Salahi family can be reached at 540-635-9933."

Not so sure giving out a phone number is such a good idea but these guys aren't exactly KNOWN for their good ideas.  Also I'm not too sure why anyone would kidnap her - they don't have any money and what they do have they owe to people they've stiffed. 

If this is real - I'm a complete asshole...But come on!  This stinks of a Salahi publicity stunt!  And if they are tying up police services and people's time for more of their fuckery...I hope this time they finally go to jail where they belong!

UPDATE:  TMZ is now reporting that she's not kidnapped - she's just shackin' up with the guitar player from Journey!  Shut the front door!  Probably sick of Tareq and his assholedness she has apparently moved on to a new beau.  They report she has been dating Neil Schon and is in Memphis with the rock star - sucks to be Tareq!  (Even more than it already did.)

Image Via www.zimbio.com

Tareq and Michaele Salahi - We're Having a Baby!!!

Oh Jesus Christ NOOO!!! 

TMZ is reporting that the White House crashers are looking for a human womb to implant their devil spawn into because Michaele has fake MS...Um - yeah - Anyone got a gun handy?  I think I'm done.

And what's with all the TMZ coverage on these two lately?  Is Tareq paying off Harvey Levin with bogus wine tours or what???  Actually, maybe that's where Sparkle went!!!  Harvey loooves animals!  Sonofabitch!  I think I may have just broke that story! 

Enough of THAT fuckery though - Michaele continued to spew a toilet bowl full of bullshit to TMZ saying, "...she wants to go with a surrogate because she suffers from multiple sclerosis ... and she worries that her condition combined with her age (45) ... is not safe for a baby." 

Um, yeah...fake multiple sclerosis can be super hard on fake pregnancies!  Pfft! 

Michaele also told the website, "I'm overjoyed with the hope of starting a family and the blessing of love and peace a child will bring to our lives."

Bitch please!  The last thing these jerks should be worrying about is the 'love and peace a child would bring' - they need to pay their fucking debts to people and apologize to the White House for being douchebags...

Or just fade away already...that'd work too.

Image Via www.newsday.com

Tareq and Michaele Salahi - Bills, Court Dates and Fake Wine Tours

Man, can't make this shit up!

The gruesome twosome Salahis have been sued by Emily McCallum (amongst a buttload of others for being rip off artists various fraudulent dealings) for failing to provide a wine tour at Oasis Winery in Hume and not refunding her money.  They did not show up at the hearing (nor did their lawyer).

Judge Frank Buttery said he didn’t know if they knew of their court date because the court didn’t receive a return of service.  Well, hello McFly!  To get these two to show up somewhere the LAST thing you do is invite them!  Duh!

Some of the shadier shit they've pulled include - a Winchester Electric Service Inc. suit that went to court, a suit brought by the New York winery for $50,000, bouncing a $24k check for booze in Montgomery County AND paying a judgment to a landscaper with a watch that turned out to be fake!  Not to mention various accusations of questionable fund-raising for charity.

And this isn't the only chick wanting her bogus wine tour moola back...Kerri Chik filed a lawsuit on July 22 against Tareq Salahi and VA Wine Tourism Inc (VA Wine Tours) for a "warrant in debt," pretty much citing the same shady treatment.

The hearing has been moved to August 3rd.  We'll see if they have to pay up though (and if they actually do) - these two are slipperier than a filthy bar of used soap!  And twice as stinky!

Image Via www.thefirstpost.co.uk 

Michaele Salahi's Song Bump It Released

Cover your eardrums, people!  There's a new housewife single out!

Notorious douchebag Michaele Salahi, has dropped a track called Bump It because apparently any a-hole with a voice can record music now.  It's supposed to be available on iTunes today but after conducting a half ass search for it, I didn't see it.  I'm going to check back later though and trash it in the review section for fun if I'm bored because I'm off today and hey - you gotta live, right?     

I checked out the song on TMZ and I gotta say - it was pretty, well crappy.  Not gonna lie.  It begins with the dumbass line “Like, I’m so hot, and like, you’re so not.”  Which as anyone with half a brain knows is one of the stupidest opening lines of a song since "What you gon' do with all that junk?  All that junk inside your trunk?"

Really it just seems to be her saying Loud, loud, loud, loud, loud over and over again.  Must be a dance track...

93% of people said it sucked on TMZ.com so I hope she's not putting all her spoiled eggs in one basket here.  This may not be the best way to make the money she needs to crash her way back onto the D-List and buy back Sparkle.  Get a job, yo!

I didn't see that idiot Tareq jumping around in the background so bonus points for that but really when you start with a negative score, bonus points are neither here nor there.

Image Via www.dcsmostfabulous.com

Michaele Salahi Receiving Death Threats

Oh snap!  Pretty sure this is another Salahi lie but if not, that sucks.

Someone is stalking and sending death threats to Michaele Salahi, and Tareq has called in the popo to help!  It all started when a man called the Sheriff's Department and falsely reported that Tareq had broken into Oasis, a winery co-owned by his family.  (Which BTW is totally more believable than some phantom stalker!)

Deputies told TMZ they found no evidence of a break-in...BUT they were called back into action when Tareq and Michaele found out the original call came from an alleged stalker.  Hmmm...How'd they find that out???  Sketchfest!

According to the Salahis, the stalker has been following Michaele and shooting (worthless) photos/video...this stalker is also sending death threats and obscene messages.  Here's an idea - why not call the cops on him when you see him tailing you?  See then they could not only catch the guy but they could catch him in the act of stalking...sound good?  See, the thing with these jerkoffs is that they lie...all the time...so you'd think they'd be good at it right?  Weirdly enough, they're not. 

The Salahis say they're going to request a protective order and they have already filed a police report.

And that's all I have about this lie for right now...

Image Via www.thirdage.com

No Playboy for Michaele Salahi!

Thank God!

So, remember a while ago when Michaele Salahi was going around yakking about how she was going to be in Playboy and we all thought she was just being her usual crazy-ass lying self...you know by being crazy and telling lies?  Well, it turns out that the pics have been shot of the naked fool but alas it was not meant to be...According to a source Michaele got the following earth-shattering (to the Salahis) email:

"There is no opportunity this calender year to offer you a cover opportunity or place for your pictorial.  We had hoped an issue would be available to present you in the pages of the magazine first.  However, that does not seem likely and we do not want to keep them from our readers any longer."

Basically they are going to put her bony ass on the website in lieu of in the mag...Apparently, the rep told her that they were "amazing".  What rep?  Is Tareq a rep for Playboy?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Here's a translation if you don't speak PR and show biz - "We took the pics and they didn't make any of us throw up violently so we are going to use them.  We don't want to put them in the mag because it's fucking Playboy and we try not to put assholes in it.  We do however, think your fifteen minutes are just about up so we're going to hurry up and use them on our crappy website that no one goes to because the internet is full of so much porn already.  Thanks, Hef."

Probably better anyway - she tends to sue everybody she works with and/or tries to sue them (and the people she scams, and the people she shops from, and the people she...oh fuck it - bitch is sue-happy.)  She's like that jerkoff friend you had as a little kid who used to get you into trouble and then tell on you.  Damn you my childhood Michaele Salahi - Roger LeSavage!  Damn you!

UPDATE: The slimy duo are now denying the report that she will bare all for Playboy...a spokesperson for Salahi and her husband called it just another rumor.  So, who knows what's really up with these crazy assholes?  Hard to keep up...   

Image Via www.drlillianglass.com

Tareq Salahi to Pose For Playgirl?

Shut up!  That is so WTF it is perhaps one of the most WTF things that has ever happened!  I can barely comprehend the WTFedness of it all!

Well I guess the pile of money they raised on lies ran out because you've got to be pretty desperado to do this!  Check this bloopdebloop out - America's infamous, party-crashing, wine-swilling evil King of evil Queen Michaele Salahi's world is going to allegedly pose for Playgirl!  Go on take a second to puke it out - I'll wait. 

Tareq is in talks with Playgirl and has sent in some booty shots or something that I shouldn't even be typing right now...

TMZ has some pics up and I'm not 100% sure they are the ones he sent in to (ahem) tempt them but I am 100% certain that I should have never, NEVER have seen those pics.  Hit the link at your own risk!  Apparently he is adament about not showing his tiny penis so thank fuck for that!  I'm going to take it with a grain of the not-forgotten Sparkle's licking salt because TMZ also broke the phantom Michale Playboy shoot story last year.

All right - now you can go finish up that puke session....

Image Via www.stoopidhousewives.com

DC Housewives Officially Over

Buh-Bye bitches!

I didn't mind this installment as much as others seemed to and I would so get down with some wine and some Cat Ommanney in my free time but apparently no one else wanted to because Andy Cohen officially pulled the plug on the low-rated series.

Awww!

Though some of the Housewives had been chirpin' in the 'bloids about their confidence that the show was coming back - tis not to be...this marks the first time a Housewives series has not made it past season one.  Hear that Miami?!?  It's possible.

My main man Andy said, “We had an amazing season and we told stories that were unique to any other in the franchise. I wish all our DC Wives the best and hope to work with them again in another capacity,” in a an e-mail exchange with the TV Column.

The buzz seems to be that Beverly Hills killed DC - and the fact that the DC ladies were just "too dignified...too Washington".   Aside from those dumbass White House crashers I assume he meant.  Crazy Salahis!

So, it bit the dust with a bit of grace and only a modicum of defeat...we all kind of saw it coming.

Image Via www.thehollywoodgossip.com

How Michaele Salahi Passed the 10,000 Mark on Twitter

If you're like me it may surprise you to see that Michaele Salahi has over 10,000 Twitter followers and over 16,000 Facebook friends.  Could it be that a nation that once shunned her is coming around?  Or maybe she is winning us back with her vapid stare and circular logic?

Nope, neither.  Turns out the crazy bitch is just buying up Twitter followers and Facebook likes!  Man, they're going to have to start spelling Sham S-A-L-A-H-I!

ViralSo, an Internet Marketing Agency is a place that people go to buy followers and fans on Twitter and Facebook respectively and guess who's a client?

A page on FB called Tell the White House Party Crashers to go Away - that has since been TERDED but was dedicated to exposing this slackjaw (and did a pretty darn good job of it) had found a pic of the plastic princess on the site page for ViralSo - which has since been edited out - and they had posted the above screenshot before they deleted her ass away like so many of us wish we could do.

Though the site's services don't exactly break the bank, doesn't the gruesome twosome owe like, everyone on the planet money???  They should pay their bills, not pay for this garbage...Who's paying for those white limos and Sparkle the horse?  My God, Sparkle needs food and care and stable money!  Where the fuck is SPARKLE!?!

Stop being a famewhore and go get a job!  Enough of this fuckery!  Christ, my cat probably has more real fans than her and he's a complete asshole who pees on the floor.

Image Via TelltheWhiteHousePartyCrasherstoGoAway -FB PAGE

Did Michaele Salahi Lie About Having MS?

Well, I effing hope not!

As much as I don't want someone to have to suffer with a disease (even if it is a piece of shit bottom feeder like this chick) if she lied about having MS that's nuttier than crashing the White House uninvited a portapotty at a peanut festival!

Absurdtosublime.net is reporting that when Michaele signed on for Celebrity Rehab:

"Dr. Drew did a thorough medical examination of her, including a full neurological check-up, and she is fine. Michaele is all drama, that is her main issue.”

AtoS says this is proof that she's a crazy, lying jerk who is crazy and lies.  Did I mention she is a crazy liar?

But, I'm still on the fence with this one because they didn't outright say that she didn't have MS.  Just that upon a full neurological check-up Dr. Drew found nothing wrong with her.

May be semantics, may be proof.  Hard to keep up with the crazies.  I have a hard enough time keeping up with those Kardashian bitches.

Image Via www.thehollywoodgossip.com