Steven Tyler and J.Lo are Prob Quitting American Idol

Well, scratch that probably for Queen Aerosmith there, he claims he's already out.

Tyler released some weird ass statement saying something to the effect of AI being his mistress and how he wants to leave her before that bitch boils his rabbit. He also said something dumb about spending the next two years creating an "auditory takeover" with the other senior citizens in Aerosmith...

That's cute.

Now, don't get me wrong - I was a HUGE Aerosmith fan back in the day. I loved this man and his penchant for putting Alicia Silverstone in his vids before she started spitting in babies mouths...The band rocked! Then came American Idol...

Maybe it's not fair that I think the guy's yacht ship has sailed just from making one career mistake but in the world of rock - you don't sell out, you just don't. Frankly, it's offensive.

I have no idea what J. Lo's problem is save for the fact that she may just want more sexy times with her new piece, Casper. Last year she pulled a crazy power move, held out until the last minute and got $20 mill for one year of stuffing her ass into a bunch of trendy shit and sitting behind a can of coke.

Don't worry your cover-loving little heads though, useless supastar Randy Jackson is STILL in lol.

Image Via www.people.com

Angelina's Right Leg, J. Lo's Nipple and a Wrestler Playing Dress Up - It's The Oscars, Bitches!!!

Okay, so this is a few days late, but if y'all follow me on twitter (as you should) you would know that I got two new Sims games that have taken over my life...seriously, haven't slept in days...

So tired...

Anywho, I was in and out of consciousness watching Billy Crystal host the shit outta the Oscars like it was 1999, hoping to hell that gorgeous George's pants would "malfunction" (you guys notice it's only chicks who get these wardrobe malfunctions?  BS!  I want to see Clooney PEEEENNNN!!!!) but all I got was a whole lotta boring!

In my estimation the most laughable and memorable moments were given generously by presenters and guests.  Ryan Seacrest started his night on the red carpet by getting the faux Bisquit "ashes" of Kim Jong-Il poured onto his feminine behind by Borat in a promotional stunt for his new flick The Dictator.  They'll be talking about it for years which is like Seacrest crack!  He loves the spotlight and now he's a part of Oscar history!  He held it together basically just having a professional boner in front of everyone and changing his Burberry jacket.  Borat was escorted out.

Everyone was losing their shit over Stacy Kiebler on the carpet...I kept yelling at my TV that "There's a wrestler trying to sneak into the Oscars!" but no one would heed my warnings!  They kept pretending it was okay that a wrestler was at the Oscars!  It was awkward - like when I accidentally touched my cat's butt and wouldn't make eye contact for days...well, not really like that, but my life is very different from that of a Clooney ho - so I make adjustments to my metaphors...Sick Marchesa dress though - SICK!    

Image Via www.instyle.com

J. Lo and Cameron Diaz took the stage and showed their million dollar asses off before turning about face and giving me an eyeful of Lopez nipple...yawn!  The boob's been done, J. Lo!  So played out!!!  Her PR team is lying and saying that it's a shadow, but I know me a nipple when I see me a nipple and that shit was a nipple!!!  Or a nipple shaped shadow ;).  And not to be a major bitch here - but did Gigli win an Oscar for shittiest movie and I missed it???  Why is there a singer there???  Just sing Jenny From the Block to all of us already and go on about your bizness, woman!  NEXT!

Image Via www.onyxbook.com

Saint Angelina Jolie of Pittopia pulled some weird stunt queen shit on stage (and all the way down the red carpet) when she went to present posing like she was goddamn Christy Turlington or something!  It was a total Snooki/CourtneyStodden thing to do and Ang is NO Snooki/CourtneyStodden so when she did it, it just seemed really, really stupid.  (She even re-adjusted her stunt queen pose when her leg wasn't sexy enough for her liking!)  Twitter blew up, everyone made fun of her and it now seems jamming your leg out awkwardly has become something of the new Tebowing or Planking - Also, her skinny, pale gam now has a twitter page called Angelina's Right Leg if you're one of those jerks on twitter who follows trend accounts in lieu of funny, blogger's accounts that are AWESOME!  (Editor's Note:  Follow me on Twitter at @BungledBotched!)

Oh and for those of you interested in the actual awards, Meryl Streep took - nay STOLE - top actress from Jen Lindley of Dawson's Creek (on Cosmo channel everyday still at four BTW.)  The french dude who said two words in The Artist won best actor and his movie took top spot as best movie.

Then I fell back asleep...

...Nipple shadow - pfft!  Gimme a break!

Image Via www.gossipwhyfame.com

Is J. Lo Banging Bradley Cooper? Part Deux

Oh!  I see your sexy ass in there J. Lo ya bitch! 

God help us all, Bropez MAY be happening!!!  (This is part two in a unknown part series find part one here.) 

Jennifer Lopez and Bradley Cooper were spotted together again after having a previous dinner date about a month ago.  That date had been described by her rep as a "business meeting" but we all know those guys are full of shit and only leak what they want about their clients.  This time they were seen sitting in his car near her Calabasas home.  Now, if that doesn't scream We're fucking!!! I don't know what does.

A source close to Lopez says, "After their date in New York, Bradley and Jennifer stayed in touch...She likes him."

Duh!  He's breathtaking! 

Story developing...I'm going to make this pseudo-relationship my top priority until something more interesting comes along.

Which should be any second now... 

Image Via www.mjbstar.com

Is J. Lo Banging Bradley Cooper?

Not sure, but she IS eating with the Hangover hottie and in the gossip world, that's pretty much the same thing.

In Cooper's latest non-relationship he's been linked up to the original gangsta of the big-ass revolution, Jennifer Lopez (hear that Kim?  That was before you wuz all that, girl!  Ah, remember the world before it was turned into Kardashian Inc.'s main headquarters?  I miss that.) 

But I digress...

These two sexy bitches were spotted at pretentious restaurant Per Se in New Orleans getting their grub on and allegedly being "romantic" with each other.  Not sure what that means, don't really care.

People.com however tells a different story saying that Lopez was only out with Cooper because she is asking him to play opposite her in a remake of Overboard (yes, the Russel/Hawn movie and yes, they are remaking something else because Hollywood's creativity growth has been stumped by reality stars and celebrity sex tapes.)

In another point of faux celeb scandal, it would seem that Will Smith's production company would be helming the project- and that would lend credence (although very, VERY little of it) to the Smith/Lopez/Anthony love triangle garbage that's been floating around the blogosphere on a small puff of possibility.

So in cessation - I'm going to go with...she's not banging him.  Not her type - even though his name lends itself quite nicely to celeb name mashing.  Brennifer, Jadley or Bropez (my fave) would work just fine and dandy!

Don't steal those names though!!!  Patent pending, bitches!

Image Via www.nydailynews.com

Marc Anthony Won't Stop Buggin' J. Lo

PerezHilton.com is reporting that Marc "Rat face" Anthony is allegedly harassing Jennifer Lopez...

"He calls her nonstop, especially when he's drinking, and they had a huge argument in early August. Marc is constantly harassing her and doesn’t think she'll go through with the divorce," says a source.

Bitch is drunk dialing her!  Priceless! 

And gotta love these nameless sources!  Who are these people?  Nosy dickheads!  But I'm nosy too, so...let's not go there.

Anyways another source says, J. Lo is "being cordial for the kids' sake. She has no interest in reconciling."

I wonder if he sings those god awful love ballads to her when he's all hammed - ugh. 

Image Via www.theurbandaily.com

Did Scientology Break Up J. Lo and Rat Face???

I think the bigger question is - J. Lo is a scientologist???  I didn't know that shit and I spend the better part of my day reading celebrity gossip!  Yeesh! 

Anywho, she apparently is all about L. Ron and Marc Anthony isn't, so when she said she wanted to have their little twins raised alongside the one we call Suri in the religion, Marc was all Hells to the no!

An inside source said, "Jennifer and Marc couldn't see eye-to-eye on the subject. She's always been more into the church than him. He wasn't a huge fan and it caused problems."  

Evidently, she wanted them in a scientology school and that broke the couple up...

But seriously...J. Lo is a scientologist?  I'm gonna go type that shit into that know-it-all bitch Wikipedia right now...

Okay I'm back - check this out:

"It was reported that Lopez and Marc Anthony were taking professional business meetings at the Church of Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood, California, in late 2006. It was also rumored that Lopez and Anthony became Scientologists during that period with the help of Angelo Pagan, the husband of The King of Queens actress and Scientologist Leah Remini.^[111] Just prior to those reports, Lopez said to NBC, "I'm not a Scientologist, I was raised Catholic. But it's funny the way people come at it. To me it's so strange. These are some of the best people I've ever met in my life." She added, "My dad has been a Scientologist for 20 years. He's the best man that I know in my life and so, it's weird to me that people want to paint it in a negative way."
 
Well shiz, now this post makes like, zero sense.  Whatever - it's a slow celeb news day anyway...stupid PerezHilton and his crappy reporting...

Image Via www.blog.starcam.com

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are O-V-E-R!

Why God!?!?  WHY???  If an Aladdin-style photo shoot can't keep a marriage all tight and shit then this is a world that is not meant for anyone with even half a heart!  

Just kidding...I saw THAT one coming from a damn mile away!

J.Lo and her rat-faced hubby Marc Anthony have decided to end their 6 year marriage and just released a statement saying, "We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters."

Always sad when there's little kiddies involved, but in my opinion they should've never gotten shotgun married back in the day so quickly!  It was like, two months post-Bennifer the two tied the knot!  Some chicks are just itchin' to run down that aisle I guess.

With 5 divorces between them now God only knows if they'll marry again...hope they keep it clean for the twins.

Image Via www.julieluongo.wordpress.com

Forbes 100 Most Powerful Celebrities

Here's our Bungled and the Botched breakdown of the list:

Heading up the rear is Desperate Housewife Teri Hatcher at #99 being edged out by her hotter, cooler co-star Eva Longoria at #81.  My main man, Eminem comes in at #71 and JLo takes a place smack dab in the middle at #50.

Whiny Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel takes a surprising spot at #42 with stupid Glenn Beck being stupid in spot #30 (thankyouverymuch Republican nutbags).  The super sad and alone Jennifer Aniston may crack a desperate smile since she's at #21 on this meaningless list and Leo made a huge jump this year to #15.  Mrawr.

The top ten include *drumroll*:

10. Superstar jock LeBron James
9.   The smarmy Simon Cowell
8.   Bon Jovi!  Nice! 
7.   Taylor Swift but Beyonce still had one of the best videos of all time!
6.   Endorsement poison and general asshat Tiger Woods
5.   New daddy Elton John
4.   U2 - because it's the 90s again???
3.   The incomparable Justin Bieber and his hair are still dominating the world
2.   Queen of the sad women Oprah (who has finally been dethroned after years at the top)
1.   And the winner of nothing but being on a stupid list in a magazine is...everyone's favorite cokehead...Lady Gaga!!!

Dear America - it's shit like this that makes other countries hate you.

Image Via www.futexowa.comlu.com

J Lo is Most Beautiful Woman

Oh big shocker there!  I'm not even a dude and she gives me a boner...

So Jennifer Lopez eh People Magazine?  I get it.  She's got that sexy, smolderin' thing goin' on.  I may have gone with a Michelle Williams or a Sandra Bullock (who may I add is just a big old moneymakin' cover gal these days!  ChaChing!) but J. Lo is a good one and hey, I'm no fancy schmancy magazine editor.  Damn reality.

There is some sort of shabby excuse of an accompanying article in the People mag but I'll spare you that pain.  Gist of it was something like 'It's my job to be pretty' and 'I love my perfect twins with my rat face husband - I miss Ben...BENNNNN!'  Don't quote me on that shit though because I'm pretty sure I just made most of it up.  Whatevs - congrats on yet another awesome thing that you get because you were born with "It".  Ugh...It-having-bitch.

Image Via www.singersroom.com

Marc Anthony Owes the Tax Man

What's going on here?  Doesn't this fool have J. Lo money???

Marc Anthony owes 3.4 million in back taxes online sources are reporting!

This isn't the first time the Puerta-Rican supersinger has been in shiza with the Feds owing almost $2.5 in 2007 after ignoring the tax man for almost four years.  No word on what Jenny from the block thinks about her man's financial woes, but I imagine she has her big ass in a knot about it.

No worries though, with her big, fat American Idol check as good as in the bank - this bitch has it covered.

Jennifer Lopez Vagina Tape

Her love don't cost a thing, but these tapes may cost her some legal fees.  Turns out J. Lo has a problem.  Back in the day when she was still Jenny from the block she married some scumbag named Ojani Noa.  That, and the fact that he is threatening to release some less than flattering tapes of the booty shaking mother of twins.

If anyone still finds her in any way relevant it has come out that Ojani reportedly has tapes of the big ass superstar showing off her vadge and engaging in "other deviant behaviour".  The gist of the tapes seem to be of her sans panties in Cuba exposing her lady bits in public.  Oh big deal!  In this day and age what gal doesn't flash a little crotch every now and then? 

Pfft - Kidding!  Put it away ladies!  I want to see your bald beavers about as much as I want to see a Verne Troyer sex tape.  Panties are a pretty rad invention and should be worn in public at least 99 per cent of the time...And definitely worn if you're a sexy celeb who may or may not be trying to take over the world from behind an empire of booty shorts and cheap perfumes.

She's stopped some other tapes from surfacing before from this obviously pretty douchey dude, so these'll probably be blocked as well.  God, men are such money-hungry pervs!

Image via www.realbollywood.com

Barbara Walters Most Fascinating People are Especially Lame this Year

Babawawa knows what's interesting - that is if you're older than dirt and asking incompetent interns to let you know who they find fascinating.

The entire list hasn't been released but the names that have are:

Justin Bieber  - Pop singer and he who whips his hair and makes girls cry with gleeful delight
Jennifer Lopez - Entrepreneur and big-ass beauty - Is it 2001 again or what?
Sarah Palin - Former sheisty Governor of Alaska, Levi hater and comedic punchline
LeBron James - Basketball player and guy who pissed everyone off by choosing to play with the Miami Heat
Sandra Bullock - Oscar winning Actress, Jesse "dirtball" James ex-wife and foe to Nazi-loving Michelle "Bombshell" McGee
Kate Middleton - Fiance of Prince William (the less hot son of Charles and Di)
Betty White - Last Golden Girl alive and comedy genius
The Cast of Jersey Shore - Random dumbasses from Jersey who became rich and famous for getting hammered and banging chicks on reality TV

The final two are God knows who - I'm thinking Oprah and maybe a trainwreck celeb like Charlie "Teflon" Sheen, Lindsay or maybe stupid Lady Gaga (who will probably wear a dress made of orphans or something because she's so artistic - barf!).

Meh - judging by the list thus far I won't be watching.