OctoMom's First Single "Sexy Party" OctoSucks - AUDIO

Soooo, we just over making good music anymore or what?

Part of me blames asshats who rely more on shock and vadge pics than talent like a certain Miss Lady Gaga but part of me also blames my beloved reality TV for making people think that auto-tuning their voice to some shitty club-thumping background crapola is a song.

It's a real mixed bag of WTF emotions...

Anyways OctoMom's not anticipated at all first track has hit TMZ and it's as bad as you think it's going to be -

Maybe worse.

For realz, if this is her idea of a "sexy party" she can party her self-pleasuring ass off alone...(UGH! Bitch's O Face is like, burrrned into my brain - NOT COOL!)

Octomom -- Listen to 'Sexy Party' ... at Your Own Risk - Watch More Celebrity Videos or Subscribe

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OctoUpdate! Nadya Suleman is Single Again and Looking For Donations!

In today's not shocking at all news TMZ is reporting that Octomom and her piece, Frankie G., have split up!

Awwww!

It would seem that after three months of living in OctoWorld Frankie has been humped and dumped.  Octomom informed her gal pals that she was too busy to have a serious relationship with a greasy man who wears neon likes it's the fucking 80s.  (That's not a direct quote.)

As we all know, Octo is VERY busy with stripping, self-pleasuring porn productions and loan commercials.  Oh yeah, and she has 14 kids...that's a bit of a handful I bet.

In other stupid Octomom news, she has now taken to the net looking for handouts donations.  Sources say she's looking to get about $150K.  

In these ECONOMIC TIMES!?!  Dream on!

You see, she was evicted because she pisses away her money on cable and bottled water and now she needs a new home.  On her GoFundMe site, she has already received a whopping 6 donations ranging from 5-50 bucks.    

Now, obvi I don't want any kiddies to be homeless and shit but I don't know about this latest "moneymaker."  She needs to get an OctoJob, yo!  At least something with a modicum of security...

Good luck, OctoKids!

Image Via www.usmagazine.com

Octomom is an Octosinger Now...

This bitch needs to pick a job and go with it, man!

(Not porn star, not porn star...)

Nadya Suleman, the mother of 14 who filed bankruptcy, ripped off welfare, made a self-pleasuring video (O face pictured above) and basically just refuses to make a good decision is going to be a singer now!

Correction!  Singer slash rapper...

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

She recorded some sort of bullshit track with a dude named Adam Barta - he's famous for collabs with hot mess celebs like Lisa Lampanelli - it's produced by musical bigwigs DJ Mr. Mig and Mike Rizzo.

The "song" is called "Get on the Dance Floor" and is sure to suck and just garner more ridicule for the Octomom and her brood...it's being reported that she felt so liberated during her self-pleasuring video that she wanted another way to express herself.

Can't she just talk to a dozen of her kids or whatever?  Express some parenting, yo!

The song will be released on August 1st and she took two WHOLE singing lessons to prepare.

Bleh...

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Octomom has a Boyfriend

Nadya Suleman has herself a man!  His name is Frankie G and he is ALLLLL sorts of shiny!  He's also a weird color in general, right?  Face doesn't even match his chest and shit...

RED FLAG!  RED FLAG!!!

Anywho, TMZ busted the megamom porn star at LAX kissing the greasy guy earlier and sources confirmed to them that she's been with him for about two months.

Homegirl says that she's celibate and wants to keep it that way for a while but how she can keep her hands out of those neon green shorts is beyond me!  Rawr!

Word on the street is that in her self-pleasuring video her girly bits are all jacked up...That may be why she keeps it locked up - nothing worse than jacked up girly bits.

Octoporn says she met him "through church."

Good luck with that, buddy!  (Throw those shorts away though, you look like a goddamn psychopath.)

Image Via www.usmagazine.com

Octomom is Octobankrupt and Now Octoporn is Happening

You guys hear that?

It's the sound of the entire planet going I told you so in their heads...

Tsk, tsk...

Nadya Suleman filed bankruptcy yesterday only one month after she pissed away her welfare on a $500 hair cut.  Girlfriend is broke, in pretty hefty debt, and is now making a masturbation video because apparently she is incapable of making even one goddamn good decision...

You're making us ALL look bad, dude!

TMZ just got their hands on her bankruptcy docs and here's what the genius spent her cash on:

-Orkin Pest Control
-Roberto Robles Gardening Service
-Sparkletts (Bottled water delivery)
-William F. Turner (Attorney)
-Kaiser Permanente (Insurance company)
-The DMV
-Farmer's Insurance Group
-Verizon Wireless
-City Water Dept.
-So Cal Gas Company
-So Cal Edison Company (Power company)
-Sylvan Learning
-Superior Court of California
-Whittier Christian School
-DirecTV

Girrrrl!  That's not fiscal responsibility!  Cancel your cable, dumbass...and why's she getting bottled water delivered?  Who does she think she is?  That shit's on tap for free!

So...now what's a struggling, single Octomom to do in such trying economical times???

Sign on to make a masturbation video of course!  SEXY!

Watching Octostupid masturbating sounds about as appealing as shaving The Situation's greasy balls but what I know about porn appeal wouldn't even fill a GD thimble...

TMZ says she's signed on with an online porn company to do the vid and though she vowed never to make porn for cash she says that because it's a solo mish she doesn't consider it video porn...she got $10 g's for that godawful nekkid magazine shoot she did a while back, I imagine for masturbating on video one gets at LEAST twice that *rolling eyes*...

She made no comment about what she thinks of the final season of Desperate Housewives on DirecTV...  

Image Via www.blog.timesunion.com

The Octomom Is on Welfare

Well, god bless America!

The one woman on the stupid planet who publicly SWORE that she would never go on public assistance has gone and done just that.  BAM!  Octowelfare!

TMZ reports that Suleman scored about $2000 a month from the service but is limited to only buying food with the money...she says she hopes she's only on assistance for one or two months but kids tend to want to eat each and every month so methinks she may be on it longer...

I have nothing against people who need a hand...who hasn't needed one?  But I'll be damned if I ain't gonna say I told you so...

Whatever.  As long as I don't have to see any more nekkid pics of her in my blog inbox I'm down.

So DOWN!

*quivers*

Image Via www.gossipcenter.com

The Octomom Has No SHIRT ON!!!

Evidently Nadya Suleman, the genius who thought it would be a good idea to get implanted with eight embryos when she already had six kids in a time of recession, is proud of herself for losing all the baby weight from her last litter.

She's so proud she posed nekkid (well, in skin-toned panties) for Closer Magazine.  In the interview she tells the mag that tons of guys want to hit it but she's into her kids too much to deal with all the "male attention."

What?  What male?  Jon fucking Gosselin???  Ugh - Stay away from that douche, girlfriend!

But I digress, so - without further adieu...

Avert your eyes if you must because this is your last chance not to look!

I warned ya. ;)  And PS - she's so WHITE!  Why's she so white????  I know she's busy and shit but GTL it up once in a while woman, gawd!

Title Image Via www.telegraph.co.uk
post Image Via www.nypost.com

Anybody Wanna Call a Celebrity??? Dial-a-Star Lets You!

There's only one small thing...

The celebs SUCK!

Here's the breakdown of "celebrity" prices PER MINUTE for new site, Dial-a-star.com:

Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan (Lindsay's stupid parents) - $10 each
Angelina Pivarnick (the Staten Island dump) -  $10
Nadya Suleman (Octomom) - $15
Capri Anderson (described as a former Charlie Sheen porn star - but she wasn't even a goddess so like, what the fuck?)  - $10

Danielle Staub (prostitution whore from Real Housewives of New Jersey) - $18

I also hear that Angelique, that trashy french whore from the Rock of Love crap, is available for a price.  LOL, I can't!

So...my question is...

Why the hell is it so expensive to call Danielle Staub???  (*cough* phone sex *ahem*)

EWWWWW!

Whatevs, I'm kind of thinking about drunk dialin' Michael Lohan and trying to save him from himself...other than that - LAME.

Image Via www.celebuzz.com

Octomom Put Her Kids Into Private School?

Isn't this ho broke?

RadarOnline is reporting that Nadya Suleman has put ALL her kids into private school even though she can't pay her bills...God bless, America!

A source close to Octodumbass says, "She was bragging about having all of her kids in private school, even though the eight youngest are only two-and-a-half years old!  She can't even pay the mortgage on her house, but she doesn't seem to care. She doesn't think about the future."

I am VERY pro-edumacation but I'm also very pro-not-being-a-goddamn-drain-on-society so I have mixed feelings about this.

Apparently, the school costs about $6k a kid (she gets a 25% discount because she has more than four kids enrolled) but that's still a whopping $25k a year on school! 

The source went on to disclose, "Nadya thinks that by shoving her kids in school, it will free her up and give her time to make money doing something. She's working on becoming a personal trainer, but for now she does the boxing stuff to make money.  She told me she'd rather have her kids educated than worry about her bills.  But I have no idea how she's paying for their education!"

ACK!  It's not a freakin' daycare so you can go try to be a star or a trainer or whatever the fuck!  It's time to cut the shit and get your life in order, woman!  Not for any of us - but for those octokids.

Image Via www.surfgossip.com     

Octomom Nadya Suleman on Being Drugged Up By Her Doc and Celebrity Boxing

About a week ago, Nadya "I had too many damn babies and now I'm screwed" Suleman told fake Dr. Drew that she was drugged when she signed the consent form to have 12 embryos implanted into her baby maker.  She now blames her drugged up dopiness on the decision that resulted in her now world-famous reputation as the “Octomom” after eight of those embryos proved viable.  Um - where was this little tasty nugget hiding all this time???

Suleman claims that Dr. Michael Kamrava gave her "a cocktail of drugs" in preparation for the implanting, "He wrote something, he gave it to me to sign. I signed it, and I didn’t read it."  WTF are you talking about, woman?!?!  I don't buy this shit for one GD second!  IF this were true I can guarantee she would've come out with it before this!  Methinks someone is looking for an easy paycheck attention...

In other Octomom ridiculousness, she is now set to step into the ring with another "celeb" to beat the shit outta them in a Celebrity Boxing match.  Really dude???  I mean, I feel bad for her kiddies that they have no moola but really???  No one wants to beat the hell out of a mother yet so we'll see if it goes through (a lot of these reported Celebrity Boxing matches don't ever come to fruition after they are announced.)

So here's my uneducated opinion - I know it may be hard but GET A FUCKING JOB, DUDE!!!  A real job - perhaps one from home so you can watch your 14 kids while shilling crap online or something...I don't know - I don't have too many suggestions...I do however have a modicum of dignity -

But that's something you know nothing about.

Oh yeah, and if you could please stop posing for pics in bathing suits and refrain from showing your midriff anymore, that'd be great.

Image Via www.vipphoto.ru

Octomom's Doctor - License REVOKED

Dumbasses!  Both of 'em!

On Wednesday Dr. Octomom aka Michael Kamrava's license was revoked with a capital eff you!  Good riddance I say.  I expect doctors to have some sort of semblance of reason and this guy's reasoning was all sorts of off!

The doctor implanted 12 embryos into Suleman resulting in her octuplets, for those who don't know that's six times the norm for a woman her age.  Six times!  Not two times...SIX!

The Board said, "While the evidence did not establish (Kamrava) as a maverick or deviant physician, oblivious to standards of care in IVF practice, it certainly demonstrated that he did not exercise sound judgment in the transfer of twelve embryos to (Suleman)."

Interestingly enough Kamrava testified (through tears no less) at his hearing last year that he implanted Suleman with 12 embryos because she "...consented to undergoing fetal reduction if too many of the babies became viable."  He said he tried numerous times to contact her after the implantation and she never got back to him and that Suleman only contacted him after the mega birth.  If that's true - what a biotch!

She's since had numerous money issues because NO ONE SHOULD HAVE 14 GD KIDS unless they are a Kardashian or a Kennedy!  If you can't afford them don't have them...that's just shitty parenting!

The Board ruled his license be revoked in Cali to "protect the public".  Go Board of whatever!  Good call ref!

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