R-Patz is Chilling at R-Witherspoon's House While that Cheating Trick K-Stew Moves Out

Last week, for some effed up reason, the fact that Kristen Stewart kissed a director (cheating on America's fave vampire hottie, R-Patz) blew shit UP!

What's gonna happen?  Will he stay with her?  Why can't she emote?  Should she have been Team Jacob?

Well, Us Weekly seems to know whassup so here's the skivvy >

When the most talked about kiss since MJ and Lisa Marie happened sources say that Kristen came clean to the media first with that wonky apology, ...I love him, I love him, I'm sorry BS and he was pissed that she didn't tell him first.

That's right!  R to the Patz had to read that shit on Gawker or whatever!  LAME!

He then "secretly" (lol way to blow his cover douches) moved out of the house they've shared in LA for a few years and went to none other than Elle fucking Woods totally bitchin' Ojai home, Libbey Ranch...(the home she married the guy who wasn't Ryan Phillippe at.)

Evidently, the Witherspoon vacay home is like an oasis of awesome (pics below) and you just know that Reese has some good vibes going on - new hubby, Oscar gold, new kid coming, boss hair...Niiiiice!

The rag mag says Rob spends his days running, smoking butts and reading "everything he can" on Kristen's affair (that doesn't sound true at all lol!).  He asked her to move out of their previously shared home and she is supposedly staying with her parents.

In her defense, it's being speculated that the director in question, Rupert Sanders, was being a total asshat and was the one pursuing her.  People on set allegedly said they saw him staring at her - HA!  Dude's the director so that's pretty bunk - But another crew member said he tucked her hair behind her ear once!!!

I know what that leads to/means!

Ear fucking!

Kidding, relax Twitards...here's Reese's crib, but keep this shit on the down low - it's a secret! ;)

Title Image Via www.omg.yahoo.com
Post Images Via www.elledecor.com

Guess The Celebrity Kids

Oh why not, eh?  Not much else going on other than Lindsay losing and finding her stupid purse... 

Your mission is as follows, correctly ID all 8 of the celebrity kids below.  That's it, that's all.  Answers are at the bottom so don't go all scroll crazy if you want to guess.  You don't win anything but feel free to go ahead and pat yourself on the back if you get 'em all right! 

This kid's mom is a lip-syching guru who had her entire face changed with surgery (to look like her hotter sister no less) and his emo dad used to be a rock star in a band.  Emo idiot.
 

This one has two of the most beautiful parents in the world and enjoys traveling, wearing ties and possibly holding impromptu UN-style conferences with her many brothers and sisters...If this kid grows up to look anything like her mommy, DAMN!  Her fine ass daddy better get a gun.

This kid's parents have both played superheroes (though pretty shitty ones) and were both in the flick Pearl Harbour.  Her dad almost married one of the biggest stars on the planet and won a debatable Oscar for writing when he was only 26.   

This one's single mother is beloved as all hell and divorced one of the biggest douchebags in the history of douchbaggery just last year.   She has moved on with her life and the kid and he moved on to cheating on the next idiot in another highly publicized break up a few months ago.

These two cool bros have musician parents (with one hell of a fashionable mother!)  These are the dopest kids on the block, yo!  And they know it!  It is a little depressing these two are always dressed better than me and there is nothing I can do about it...but SO CUTE!  Who cares!?!  Puppies for everyone!!!

This kid's mother got famous because she is the sister of someone who got famous because she has a big ass and a porn tape...yes that's right.  His dad is a damn funny tweeter of dick jokes and rocks a suit and a cane like it's no one's damn BIZNESS!  Dude shuts it down!  Every.  Single.  Time. 

These two little ones look EXACTLY like their divorced mom and dad and should thank their lucky damn stars for that, because their parents are H-O-T!  Their mother won an Oscar for her work in a biopic and their dad recently had another kid with a model he knocked up by accident.
 

This baby's mom's a rocker chick and her dad's a motocross legend.  She has the same name as a tree and enjoys drooling, licking plastic toys and breastfeeding.  Her dad was also on The Surreal Life with Janice Dickinson and Omarosa lol.  Epic TV.

ANSWERS:

Bronx Wentz (Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz) Image Via www.fuckyeahbronxwentz.tumblr.com
Shiloh Jolie Pitt (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt) Image Via www.people.com
Violet Affleck (Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck)  Image Via www.affleckgirls.wordpress.com
Louis Bullock (Sandra Bullock) Image Via www.radaronline.com
Zuma and Kingston (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale) Image Via www.x17.com
Mason Disick (Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick)  Image Via www.x17.com
Ava and Deacon Phillippe (Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe)  Image Via Fame
Willow Sage Hart (Pink and Carey Hart) Image Via www.socialitelife.com

Reese Witherspoon Got Hit by a Car - UPDATED 09/09/2011

Oh no! 

Reese was jogging in Santa Monica when she was hit by a car and taken to the hospital.  The injuries were minimal though so the Oscar winner is doing okay.

The driver was a 84-year-old woman who failed to stop at a corner where Reese was crossing the street.  Friggin' old drivers!  Slow your roll!  She should go all Legally Blonde on her old ass!

Witherspoon is now at home resting comfortably.  Glad she's okay!

UPDATED 09/09/2011:  Now the old broad who hit her has to re-take her driving test.  TMZ reports that, "...the elderly driver for a full re-examination within the next 30 days. In addition to the driver's test -- [they're] told she will have to take an eye exam, and provide a list of medications she's taking."  Ah sweet, old people justice!  That'll learn her for hittin' America's sweetheart!

Image Via www.femfashions.com

Reese Witherspoon is Married

Hollywood headed to the country this weekend to watch the lovely Reese Witherspoon get married to Jim Toth at her $7 million estate in Ojai.

She wore a Monique Lhuillier gown and strutted down the aisle to the traditional "Here Comes the Bride".

Guests included Tobey Maguire, Robert Downey Jr., Renee Zellweger, Salma Hayek, Coco O'Brien, Alyssa Milano, Matt McConaughey, Sean Penn and ScarJo.  Her cute little kiddies were in attendance, but her ex-hubby was not.  Weirdly enough he was spotted vacationing nearby with his new woman Amanda Seyfried at the exclusive San Ysidro Ranch just outside Santa Barbara.

Congrats to the newlyweds!

Image Via www.okmagazine.com