10.07.2011

Axl Rose is a Fatty Now


When I was a kid, there was one thing you could count on...

No, it wasn't knowing that my Hypercolor would eventually not work after my ma washed it one too many times...nor was it the fact that I knew that any time Stairway to Heaven came on at a school dance I best not be dancing with some fool because that shit is like, 10 minutes long.

It was the fact that you could play the living shit out of Use Your Illusions (One or Two) and KNOW it would kick ass forever!  Yes, Axl was once the king of metal...but now it seems he's just the court jester.

Playing an apparently less-than-stellar show in Brazil the former superstar looked...pretty chunky monkey!!!  When asked about his new chub, a rep for Rose said, "You are the first to mention this. If anything, it might be his time off from touring."

The first to mention it?  Are you bitches blind?!?!  Axl used to be a pretty sexy motherfucker!  (In that dirty, heavy metal, Tommy Lee sort of way.)  Oh and by the way, the show absolutely sucked balls according to a review, "Rose struggled to keep time with his backing band even more than he struggled to move around the stage. Although the singer treated fans to a variety of G 'N R classics, a lot of fans left the concert likely feeling stymied, having waited two hours in the rain just to watch Axl Rose turn in a slovenly performance."  It's over people, the king is dead.

Anyways, that's the skinny of it.

Images Via www.news.ca.music.yahoo.com

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