Mila Kunis Chicken Lawsuit > Mila's All Bitch Please - Kristina Karo Turds Up TMZ (VIDEOS)

Mila Kunis chicken lawsuit...why can't I quit youuuuu?!?

Okay so I know it's pretty stupid to have even posted one word about this tinsel town garbage let alone written two blog posts about it but I think this is some funny shit!

If you're just tuning in you may want to check out the initial post Here.  Admittedly, it's one of my more verbose posts and I could've cut a significant amount of the fat but screw it, you gotta live right?

So here it is - post number two about a wannabe Ukrainian pop star named Kristina Karo and a chicken named Doggie who may or may not of been stolen by super awesome Mila Kunis.  Editor's Note:  The fuck he was! 

In the red corner we have Mila and Ashton - the Hollywood power couple took a hot minute to weigh in on this little nugget of madness via video and basically farted in her general direction, figuratively speaking. ;)



Haha - No Green Card for you!

And then we have Karo - the Lady Gaga of chicken lawsuits - in all her infinite fucking wisdom she thought it would be a kick ass idea to go on TMZ and explain what the hell is wrong with her and...I'll just be realz, it did NOT go well.



She's so demure lol.  And yeah, I see the chicken on the desk, woman!  Shreeeeewd!

I promise to stop posting about this crap now...probably...unless something else funny happens...then I might.

Ugh - What the hell is wrong with me?

Image Via www.shirtoid.com

Some Crazy Bitch is Suing Mila Kunis Over a Pet Chicken

Crotch shot...

Here's wassup >

Super adorbs Mila Kunis is being sued by some crazy bitch who thinks she's a pop star over the theft of said pop star's childhood chicken 25 FREAKIN' YEARS AGO!

Ugh - Should be some sort of statute of limitation on being a fucking moron...

Kristina Karo, the aforementioned "pop star" (she ain't no Rihanna, I'll say that...vid below) and above gratuitous crotch shot alleges that she went to school with Mila back in the day and that they were "inseparable" when they were kids.

Homegirl claims that Mila was all super jelly of her and her pet chicken WHEN SHE WAS 7 and that she stole it from her.  Karo goes on with some jabberwocky about how Mila would swing by her Ukrainian digs to play with her chicken (who she called Doggie which is stupid af but whatevs) and everything was kosher until one day something not so cool happened...

One day Doggie disappeared - ABDUCTION!  Straight up chickennapping, yo! - But wait, there's more...there's a confession, a confession of pure guilt.

You see, Karo says Mila immediately manned the fuck up (weak) telling her "Kristina, you can have any other chicken as a pet, you have a whole chicken farm."  

Preach.

Well!  The story unfolds further my friends...Now Karo is in LaLaLand - peace out Ukraine bitches! - trying to make a name for herself and her crotch and now she wants retribution for this heinous chicken non-crime.  Bitch says now that her and her childhood bestie are living in the same city again all sorts of sad, sad memories of Milas poultry pilfering ways have driven her BACK to therapy.  It's all VERY troublesome.

In the lawsuit she also alleges that the theft of Doggie 25 YEARS AGO has "prevented her from pursuing the American dream."

Where am I???  Is this a dream???  Like, I think reality stepped outta here 'bout five minutes ago...

She wants 5 large from Mrs. Ashton Kutcher (btw how good is it that Jackie and Kelso got married in RL? SO GOOD!) for the shrink bills but I don't think that she's gonna see a damn dime of that.

Chicken therapy...gtfoh.

25 YEARS AGO!

Image Via www.youtube,com 

RHOBH's Kim Richards Got Shitfaced and Kicked a Cop - Allegedly

All aboard the hot mess express, yo...

Here's what went down - Allegedly.  > 

- Kim Richards was arrested at the Beverly Hills Hotel (Polo Lounge) early this morning after going on a "drunken rampage."

- That ridiculous asshole Brandi was not with her at the time.

- She went into a bathroom and refused to come out.  Cops were called and had to "drag her out".

- She was probably in there thinking about how awesome her sister Kathy is.

- Kathy dgaf.

- She was "reportedly belligerent, slurring her speech and reeked of booze." 

- When taken to jail for a citation she "kicked a police officer."

- She'll most likely blame Kyle. 

Image Via www.us.beamly.com

World's Best Kangaroo Loves His Toy Bunny

Check out Roger the kangaroo.  He's pretty fucking awesome (and apparently hella ripped - holy Jeebus.)  He hangs out at a sanctuary in Australia with his bestest buddy, a soft plush bunny he likes to hold in his buff ass arms.  Cue the Awwwwws.

Roger is an alpha male (aren't they all? Ugh...) who was given the bunny as a random gift from a visitor...the story warrants its questionable merit/legs because the manager of the sanctuary is a filthy rat who wants everyone to know that...

NOW ROGER WILL NOT LET THE BUNNY GO.

Mr. Barnes, the aforementioned cheese eating manager, says > "When I gave it to him he snatched it off me really quickly and proceeded to attack it, giving it a "bear hug" and wrestling it, even hugging it and kicking out as he would do in kick boxing match, he's an expert kick boxer."

Expert kick boxer?  That's legit.  Jean Claude van Damme style.

Whenever Barnes tries to take the bunny back Roger gets all kickboxy on him and attacks him whilst keeping his bunny safe.  Barnes says they go through this shit on the daily.  

What the hell is even the problem though?  Just let the dude have his bunny, man!  Why you gotta be all up in his grill about it?  It's his damn bunny...  

See, I get worked up because, thing is - Roger has had a rough life...



Just kidding - hella funny flick though.

But poor Roger was rescued in 2006 after his mother was found dead on a highway.  Barnes says that "baby kangaroos are often found still alive in the pouches of dead kangaroos out on the roadside," which is like the saddest thing I have ever heard.  Baby kangaroo orphans...

That is so NOT "on fleek."

Barnes also says that "Roger is often very protective of the female members of his group," and that "he will attack anyone or anything that gets too close to him or his women."

Sounds pretty pimp to me...Just let him have the stupid bunny.  

Image Via www.the dailymail.co.uk

Check Out These Hilarious Photobombs

Hahaha.  This is pretty funny shit.

Don't cha hate it when someone RUINS one of your picture perfect precious memories with their silly ass???

I know I do!  (This probably would've been my engagement photo, jerkoffs!  Y'all know who you are!!!)

Well it's a helluva lot funnier when it's someone else's life moment being sharted on by some idiot in the background!  Check it out >

Happy Prom! Love, creepy peeking guy in the garage. 

Haha!  Lunch!

The fuck?

BUM LOOKER! CHEEKY MONKEY!

She's just getting her jam on no big deal.

Men think they don't need to wear shirts but you DO!  Unless you're Ryan Reynolds or something we don't wanna see them tittays!

Again...The fuck?

Oh grow up lady!

I have a buddy we call Spillz.  I get it.

This is wrong on so many levels.

lol Chicks.  Ew.    

Actually, I've had one of my signature changes of heart - now I'm kind of thinking the only thing better than a precious memory caught on digital is one with a funny ass person fucking it up in the background.

I get it.  I get jokes. ;)

All Images Via www.chacha.com/gallery/2514/what-are-outrageously-great-photobombs/finished